invention befriended me with Mrs. Mary Baxter Brown, and I drew so pathetic a description of the hard usage that had obliged me to abandon school to take up again my ancestral barrow, that the poor old lady pardoned, with moist eyes, my abduction of the brown coat and cord braccæ; which, partly from sympathy, partly because their state of filth and mutilation rendered them useless to any future pupil, I was, to my great bodily delight, allowed to retain. The chagrin of the schoolmaster and policeman were perfect-the one meditating personal reprisals for the wholesome example of his scholars, the other anticipating nothing less than that a charge of robbery would be preferred against me. My patroness, however, who appeared to think it something very terrible, desired me to consider myself dismissed the school with ignominy, which was about as good as telling one to consider himself horse-whipped who doesn't even feel the lash. I was about to boast that I had previously dismissed myself; but not feeling the remainder of my coat and other vestments secured till I was out of hearing of the precious junto, I made off, leaving the brown-coats and their colleagues non-suited. After this I felt the necessity of being cautious, for the police never forgive you if you are fortunate enough to disappoint them; and having learned sufficient at school to teach me that a long head is just as useful as a long arm for all the purposes of acquisition, and much safer, I resolved not to lose anything that I had learned; for this purpose, I daily subtracted a few pence from the proceeds of the vegetables I was entrusted to sell, and kept up my writing and arithmetic. I know not whether this system materially interfered with my father's profit; but his stock degenerated each week, till at last his customers deserted him. About this time, too, my mother, who for a long period had lived on little else but cream of the valley,' died of imbibition; leaving us, in what Walker pronounces a familiar phrase for being in difficulty-literally, the suds. In these troubles we resorted to a mode of raising subsidies, now, not only popular but prevalent amongst the lower classes-we raffled away, piecemeal, whatever remained of any perceivable value, from the old Dutch clock that through my mother's time (when not enjoying a recess at the pawnbroker's) had ticked on as ceaseless as the good woman's tongue, and to about as much purpose-striking every hour but the right one, to the lop-eared rabbits my father so prided himself on, and had bred and fed with a view to prizes. The method is, to procure as many members at a shilling or sixpence each, as will cover the amount at which you value the article in question. In this last instance eighteen members subscribed sixpence each (the winner to pay a shilling), and all being assembled in my father's cellar, the throwing began-an old blacking-bottle serving the purpose of a dice-box. In this way he obtained nine shillings for his last rabbit, a very different price from what a dealer would have given him; but as it proved but dry amusement to the losers, it became imperative on him to quench their thirst, so that in the end the consumption of beer caused so serious an aberration of the sixpences, that a headache from the over-night's repletion, and an empty hutch, was all that remained in evidence of the raffle. Having by these means quite cleared out our underground abode, it became necessary to divest it of ourselves also; and a little affair of back-rent making it inconvenient for my father to inform the landlord of his intention, we slipped away to free quarters in Goodman's-fields, which an acquaintance of my father's, about to make some involuntary researches in Australia, had just vacated. "I shall pass over the many shifts to which we were reduced to support existence our life in Barlow-street had been magnificent compared with that which followed; for, as I remember hearing a lad inform a magistrate who asked him how he got his living, we chanced it,' and a very unsatisfactory speculation it proved. Whenever a fortunate errand made me master of a few pence, I turned fruit merchant; and stocking a basket with a few oranges or apples, disguised the poverty of my venture by crying, Now, who'll buy the last twopenny worth' of whatever it might contain-a ruse that rarely failed in finding me a purchaser amongst those believers in bargains who put their faith in fagends and remnants. I soon found that customers never think they can have too much for their money; and that in proportion to the vendor's distress, they calculate their chances of profit; and the hint was not lost upon me. My oranges grew more after they had left St. Botolph's-lane than they had ever done in Portugal or St. Michael's; and the most indifferent looking fruit, once it had entered my premises, by the simple process of pricking the rind, and immersing it in warm water, came forth in the most promising condition, large, juicy, and thin skinned, putting to shame the proportions of those offered by other itinerants at the same price. I may remark, en passant, that it was not prudent to appear frequently on the same beat. Sometimes in the spring mornings we trudged as many as ten or fifteen miles to fill our baskets with early primroses from the sheltered woods and lanes in Essex, and vended them in the darksome alleys of Shoreditch and Spitalfields, a penny a root, to poor weaving girls with faces pallid as the flowers; at otners, we hired ourselves to Messrs. Abraham and Son, and perambulated the streets-volumes of humanity bound in boards; at others, took part in a procession of hand-bills, or masqueraded for an 'old-established ironmongery warehouse,' as tea-canisters and coffee-pots. At length I was fortunate enough to gain the notice of an old gentleman, whose horse I occasionally held when visiting his factory in our neighbourhood; and though, God knows, little description was necessary to illustrate my condition at this time, I did not prove unjust to my talent of colouring when the old man's inquiries gave me the opportunity of exhibiting it. My recital ended in my being installed to an humble post in the factor's house, from which I rose to fill no legitimate situation, but to monopolise the duties of half-a-dozen-valet, clerk, butler; in a word, factotum of the establishment, and made myself so useful to the old man that nothing was done in which I had not a voice; but, instead of finding myself loaded with benefits, in return, for voluntarily loading myself with the business of others—would you believe it-the old hunks, at his death, though without child or connexion, cut me off with mourning and a fifty pound note, leaving the bulk of his property to hospitals, and a few hundreds to his housekeeper. I must say, his ingratitude greatly shocked me, though I had happily taken care of myself; and being possessed (as I need not tell you) of a rather agreeable person, I readily conceived a plan to make the housekeeper's legacy mine also. She was old enough to be my grandmother, it is true, and the victim of a heart disease which the doctor who attended my master informed me would take her off upon the least excitement; but this proved no discouragement to my design; and having always been courteous to her, (knowing she possessed some interest with the old gentleman,) my attention to her now did not raise any disagreeable suspicions of my motives; in fact, she proved as winable as a girl of fifteen, and we were married. She had not, however, acted as disinterestedly as I fancied she would have done, in consideration of the sacrifice I made, but had settled more than half of a very pretty little property on herself, with even the right of willing it as she pleased; so that I felt an unpleasant check upon my conduct to her. A chain, though it be made of gold, is galling when it fetters us; and the many opportunities of domestic excitement which I had proposed to myself, seemed, however natural, unsafe under these circumstances; so I became a pattern of conjugalism, and the result was that my revered wife, in the ardour of gratitude, made a will in my favour, and within a week afterwards demised of palpitation, produced by running down Greenwichhill in a fit of fair-time enthusiasm. Peace to her ashes!' I contracted for an economical hearse, and a spot in Spafields; for, poor thing, she had always held with principles of savingness through life, and I had respect to her prejudices afterwards. Meantime, my ambition grew with my fortune, and I began turning over how I might best increase it with the least fear of loss, and most profit to myself. I had not sufficient capital to go into a large way of business; with peddling I had become disgusted; and my innate knowledge of human nature made me mistrustful of the prudence of partnership. Besides, I had other notions. I had grown out of the recollection of all the Little Barlow-street people, and my improved dress, and address, had made so radical an alteration in me, that I might have bought oranges of my old compeers in Goodman's-fields, without any fear of recognition. How easy, then, to cast the slough of my humble origin, and come forth as distinct a being as the bright-winged insect from the filthy grub! To be brief, I no sooner planned than I executed; threw myself with my personal effects into a cab; drove to a west-end tailor's; equipped a dressing case at Hendrie's; took a quiet lodging in Salisbury-street, and had a name-plate engraved Baltimore Smith, Esq.,' though hitherto I had known myself and been known simply as Hooky Snooks. In changing my cognomen, or in any other part of my proceedings, I had not thought it worth while to make the old man a party concerned: indeed, I had not seen him for some months; for in consequence of hard times, and a severe accident, he had become a member of the house; and, as early associations are the pleasantest to old people, and almost all his Barlow-court acquaintances (with the exception of certain patriots) who, like the renowned Barrington, had left their country for their country's good,' were there also, I did not disturb him. 6 "I did not yet, however, clearly see my way to the sort of speculation I desired. I looked about, but none of the advertized humbugs of the day, that promised with a small outlay and proper attention' to realise a fortune in a short time, were to my mind. I preferred obtaining, as a much easier and expeditious method, the fortunes, or even a moiety of them, that other men had made; and, becoming acquainted with two or three similarly situated and congenial spirits with myself, we soon after concerted a scheme that seemed admirably adapted to work out our views. We started a Loan Society.' You stare, as if there was nothing very ingenious in this device; and in truth these concerns have become as common in low neighbourhoods, of late, as ginpalaces, pawnbrokers, or the public-houses where they are ordinarily held. But then, sir, it is in the working of them that the art consists. Our prospectus (though my own production) was, I must confess, one of the most perfect things I have ever met with in the shape of puffery; the philanthropy of our intentions was beautiful! A company of Howards could not have expatiated more feelingly on the necessity of rescuing the struggling tradesman from impending ruin, or have drawn a more delightful picture of the benefit we meditated to the needy widow or the distressed artizan, by the advance of small sums to be returned by unfelt instalments. But pending the advertisement of this address, I and my colleagues, whose united capital did not in reality amount to more than 400l., (we had made it appear twice that sum in figures) were busily on the look-out for suitable parties to furnish the means of commencing our scheme;-sanguine young gents. and avaricious old ones, possessing a little ready money, and an inordinate desire to increase it; men who looked at no other consideration than the amount of profit, and felt no scruples of the good faith or fair dealings of a concern that promised to return 30 per cent. interest. These we were not long in finding, and began business by discounting bills at the above premium. Ten per cent. we were to share half-yearly, and, deducting 5 for necessary expenses, a bonus of 15 would remain; but this, in our anticipative wisdom, it was determined should only be divided every four years. "Here, then, was our money-making machine fairly in action, and we minted something considerable, I can tell you; for besides bill-discounting, we had more applications for loans than we had the means of answering, charging at the rate of 10 per cent. for sums under 107., and as much more as we pleased for larger ones -the Albert and Victoria Equitable Loan Society,' a fine name sir, and a take-in one as it proved. We had soon no end of applications from gentlemen's servants, persons holding inferior |