ocean.

(Immense peals of applause follow, when, wiping the perspiration from his forehead, he proceeds in a softer voice.) Sometimes, I say, Mr. President, seated beneath the shady shadow of an umbrageous tree, at whose venal foot flows a limping brook, he calls about him his wife, and the rest of his children,* (which, I dare say, Mr. President, the rich man never had any;) here, Sir, he takes a retrospective view into futurity; distils into their youthful minds useful lessons, to guard their juvenile youth from vice and immortality; extorts them to perspire to endless facility, which shall endure for ever. Here, Mr. President, on a fine clear evening, when the silvery moon shines out with all its emulgence, he learns his children the first rudimens of astrology, by pointing out the bull, the bear, the tailor's yard wand, and many more bright consternations and fixed stars, which are constantly devolving on their axles in the azure expense of the blue creolean firmament above! Two or three times a week, Mr. President, his whole family dissemble at the New Jerusalem chapel, which perhaps, Sir, some persons may not approve of this; but, Sir, give me leave to say, if a man has no sense of religion, then, Sir, that country is in a very bad state; and I am opinion that Methodism is one species of Christians, which I wish there was more of them; for in the present regenerate days, sorry am I to denounce it, Sir, men curse and swear, and eat and drink; yes, Sir, and all other sorts of impiety, which, I think, Mr. President, they should not do so without impunity. (Great applause.) Thus, Mr. President, I have deranged and expanded the subject into as little a compass as possible, having injected from my speech every thing which was relevant or distant from the point in view, as I never derivate or wander from the question, which I wish some other orators could say the

In page 499, amongst other instances of slip-slop writing selected from Blackwood, is the following:-"For some years after the death of her husband, and the rest of her children, her son was her support."

same. It is a favourite maxim with me, "nothing exterminate, nor set down nought in malice." I have been at some pains to select from the writings of the ancients, from the great Pluto, and many other philosophers, now absolute from the relapse of time, every thing which bore upon the question, and, after a patient and minute instigation of the subject, I find that morality, and every other writer on ethics, is of the same opinion, as I have delivered mine to you this evening, which I have now nothing more to say at present. (Immense applause.-Bother'em' sits down apparently exhausted, and wiping his face with a handkerchief, which baffles all description.)

(To be continued.)

A DUN AND A PUN.

A Tradesman nam'd Trudge, being hard press'd one day,
For money, his journeymen's wages to pay,

Call'd on Dashall who owed him about twenty pounds,

Who, soon as he spy'd him, exclaim'd "Blood and 'ounds!'
What is it you mean, Sir, by pestering me thus?
About such a trifle, you make a d-d fuss."

"My money I want, and I'll have it," said Trudge,
"And until I'm paid, from this spot I'll not budge."
Dashall, frowning, reply'd, "Let's have none of your din,
Some other time call, the Cashier is not in."
"Your Cashier not in!-ay, that's always the way,
If I wait till he comes, I may wait till doomsday-
I shall get the same answer each day in the year,
For I shrewdly suspect that you have no Cash here.”

RHYME AND REASON.

Written on the occasion of a person expressing his surprise at the clock on the Liverpool Exchange keeping very bad time.

The reason I'll adduce in rhyme,
For what you deem so strange;-
A clock can never keep good time,
That's always on the 'Change.

GYMNASIA.

(Continued from page 486.)

No. XX.

The annexed sketch represents a very effective mode by which one person may seize another, who is much stronger than himself, and pinion him so that he is almost powerless, without hurting him. This manœuvre is sometimes of the greatest utility to police officers, or others who have to apprehend powerful and desperate fellows. It is difficult to delineate the process by the pencil, but it is performed thus:-Coming behind, a puts his arms under the arms of b, and brings them back over the shoulders of b, and clasps his own hands upon the nape of b's neck. In this position b has scarcely any power, and cannot raise his head.

No. XXI.

HOW TO RAISE A MAN FROM THE FLOOR WHILST HE IS SEATED ON A CHAIR, AND WITH ONE HAND LIFT HIM, CHAIR AND ALL, UPON A TABLE.

I now send you a description of a feat I was lately challenged to perform, and which, if the person to be lifted does not exceed my own weight by a stone, I can easily manage. The person to be lifted must sit down, so as to permit you to place your arm beneath him, as is clearly shown in the annexed sketch; you must then take a firm grasp of the back of the chair seat, and in the act of lifting you must draw him towards you, so that he rest upon your breast, with his head over your shoulder. In this position he will lose so much of his weight, that you will, with a little management, lift him from the ground, and place him on the table, whilst he is still sitting on the chair.

(To be continued.)

LITERARY SQUINTING.

[ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE MERCURY OF NOVEMBER 27, 1812.]

TO MESSRS. BROUGHAM AND CREEVEY.

GENTLEMEN,-We, the undersigned Watchmakers of Liverpool, having maturely revolved the subject, in our minds, and having consulted all the friends, in the large circle of our acquaintance, as to a proper mode of showing the high esteem in which we hold you two Gentlemen, on whose public characters we have kept a good Watch, from the moment you entered upon your Parliamentary duties, until the present hour;-have unanimously resolved to beg your acceptance of two Gold Lever Watches, manufactured by ourselves. We present them without Chains or Seals, well aware that, as friends to freedom, you would spurn the former, though they were Gold: and conscious that you do not aspire to the Seals of office, or any other of the baubles and gewgaws, so eagerly sought after by the de-pendants of the Minister for the time being.

Your late adversaries, with feelings wound up to the highest pitch of presumption, know not where to stop!— they imagine our party is completely down, and can never be set a going again; they fancy they have so pinion'd us that we never dare again show our Teeth! but, Gentlemen, there are Wheels within Wheels; and they will find we are not so easily to be fobb'd off.

They have been tried in the Balance, and found wanting. They have always kept turning and turning; the mainspring and pivot of all their public conduct is self-interest; --they are wound up, set a going, and regulated by the hand of the Minister;-his face is their dial, and the treasury is their maintaining power!

As to yourselves, Gentlemen, the case is very different;