ADDRESS,

WRITTEN FOR MR. RYLEY, AND SPOKEN BY HIM AT HIS BENEFIT AT THE THEATRE ROYAL, LIVERPOOL, IN JANUARY, 1826.

[The following piece, hastily written on the spur of the moment, is introduced bere solely with a view of calling the attention of the public to the present situation of the author of the "Itinerant," now verging upon his 80th year, and severely labouring under the "Res angusta domi."]

Once more, my friends, before you I appear,

O'erwhelm'd with gratitude, with hope and fear;
Thankful for favours past, bestow'd on him
Whose life has been the sport of Fortune's whim;
But who, whate'er his errors may have been,
Through every trial in life's chequer'd scene
Has been enabled, by your fostering hand,
Against adversity to make a stand.
To thank you as I ought, words are too weak;
I feel, believe me, more than I can speak;
Mine is not now the mimic actor's part,
My gratitude's deep seated in my heart.

I own I have been somewhat of a rover,
But now I mean to turn a new leaf over;
And some kind friends have a proposal made,
That I should settle in the banking trade!
I own the calling somewhat strange appears,
For one who's been insolvent forty years.*
"At fourteen years many their fortunes seek,
But at fourscore it is too late a week;"
So says our own immortal bard ;-but I,
In life's decline, once more my luck will try ;
For though I own to threescore years and ten,
And oft have fail'd-you've set me up again.
'Tis odd to think of banking, you will say,
When Panic+ is the order of the day;
And late I own I felt that panic here,
But you this night have banished every fear.
Without your aid, I should have had a run
Upon my bank by many a clamorous dun;
Had not my bills been taken
up this night,
They'd ta'en me up, or I had taken flight;

However, thanks to you, all now is right;

* A very common expression with the author of the Itinerant.

✦ Alluding to the financial panic, which was about this time at its height

For I can prove that my new speculation
Is free from risk as any in the nation :-
The bills I offer to my friends to-night
Are merely playbills, payable at sight.
NO CHECKS in my establishment have I,
Save checks for Boxes, Pit, and Gallery ;
And here, instead of cursed local notes,
My singers mean to give you vocal notes;
Then why should the Itinerant be dejected?
See how his bills are honoured and accepted!—
[Looking round the house.]

And now, my noble, generous benefactors,
By your permission, one word for my actors;
Some friendly amateurs have volunteer'd,
Who ne'er before on any stage appear'd.
I shall not here appeal in vain to you,
To make allowances for their début ;
For amateurs, however apt or willing,
Can only be made actors by long drilling.

[Prompter's bell rings.]
But hark! the prompter rings-I must away;
Yet ere I go, permit me this to say :-
"May happiness await you through your lives,
As fathers, husbands, mothers, maids, or wives;
And may no cares like those I've felt oppress you;
my fervent prayer-adieu-God bless you!"

This

LINES

ON A PORK CURER, WHO TURNED PRACTITIONER OF PHYSIC.

Since he left off his former trade,

Porcus has dreadful havoc made

'Mongst two legg'd patients who employ'd him,

Not one of whom remains to chide him;

All, all are gone to that dread "bourne,

From whence no travellers return."

But though he kill'd folk by the score,

Just as he serv'd the pigs before,

Why should their friends their vengeance vent?
What Porcus did was all well meant.
'Twas but a slight mistake he made,
Occasioned by his former trade,
He knew by practice long inur'd,
Pigs must be kill'd before they're cur'd.

THE MAGIC GLOBE, OR THE BOTTLE IMP.

(Continued from page 48.)

CHAP. IV.

Gymnastic Exercises—Mr. Sheldrake's Condemnation of them -Lamented and sudden Death of Monsieur Beaujeu, of the Dublin Gymnasium-Hint for procuring Subjects for Dis section by unexceptionable means.

"Pshaw! (exclaimed Ferdinand, with a yawn, as he closed the book he had been reading, and stretched himself,) le jeu n'en vaut pas la chandelle; I wish my excellent friend Asmodeus would come to my relief; his conversation would form an agreeable contrast to the twaddle of this pedant."

In an instant Asmodeus made his appearance, and was heartily welcomed by Ferdinand.

"You have only to wish for my presence at any time, (said the courteous little spirit,) and I shall be at your elbow in the twinkling of an eye. But you seem rather jaded, my friend; have you had another spell at Political Economy ?"

"No, thank Heaven, not quite so great a bore as that; for though the essay I have just laid down is abundantly stupid, it has, at least, the merit of being intelligible. Under the title of a Lecture on Muscular Action and the Cure of Deformities, the author, a Mr. Sheldrake, has done all in his feeble power to persuade the public that gymnastic exercises, so far from being salutary, are extremely prejudicial to health and longevity. Before I proceed to consider the logic of this pedant, allow me to give you a sample of the literary pretensions of this enlightener of mankind. In the first paragraph in his lecture, in the last number of the Lancet, I find the following precious jumble:- They adopt,

(says he,) some high-sounding names, which, in ancient times, have, in the Latin and Greek languages, been applied to some important matters that were known and practised in those countries.' This, you will allow, to be worthy of the renowned Mr. Bother'em; and, in my opinion, Mr. Sheldrake's reasoning is quite on a par with his style.* He sets out on false grounds, by assuming that gymnastic feats. are similar to the tricks of posture-masters, or tumbling buffoons of the circus, whose unnatural and extravagant exploits may very probably produce the mischief which he falsely ascribes to these exercises. Every thing taught in the Gymnasium is calculated to invigorate the body, and to correct any tendency to deformity; but the antics of our buffoons have the opposite effect of inducing the very deformity, the successful imitation of which renders such men as Grimaldi and Usher the darlings of the gallery. Such grotesque tricks are useless, because they do not facilitate the performance of any of the common actions of life. Of what utility can it possibly be to acquire the art of making twenty or thirty flip-flaps in succession, or of throwing a somerset over a score of men with fixed bayonets? I can, from experience, (continued Ferdinand,) bear testimony to the beneficial effects of gymnastics, having been, a few years ago, in the constant habit of taking exercise of the most active description. For several years I was in the practice of fencing for at least two hours daily, without interruption, and I have, after playing fives, found my pulse galloping at the rate of one hundred and forty beats in a minute. I may, perhaps, have made somewhat too free with myself, but the experience I have had warrants me in the conclusion that habitual exercise, even of a violent nature, is less detrimental than want of due exercise."

This is almst a libel upon Bother'em, although there certainly is, in this passage of Mr. Sheldrake's critique, some affinity to this passage in Bother'em's speech, "When a man has no religion, then, Sir, that country is in a very bad state."

"You are right, (said Asmodeus,) and you have argued the point so satisfactorily, that I shall only observe, in addition to what you have advanced, that men in civilized society are in an artificial state of existence, differing so much in condition from that of savage life, that the great majority of you do not use the requisite muscular exertion, and hence proceed various diseases which would be avoided by a judicious use of gymnastics, tending to invigorate the body and exhilarate the spirits. Mens sana in corpore sano' is 'a consummation devoutly to be wished for,' and the most certain means of attaining it are those SO ababsurdly condemned by Mr. Sheldrake."

"I am happy to find that my opinion is sanctioned by your authority, (said Ferdinand,) and I have only to add, that if our posture-masters, buffoons, and pugilists become early victims of disease, it is no argument whatever against the moderate use of gymnastics. These men, independent of their profession, are too frequently dissipated in their habits, and intemperance and late hours often produce consequences which are ascribed to other causes. All the professors of gymnastics with whom I have been acquainted, and who were regular in their habits, enjoyed excellent health and spirits, although they certainly were compelled to use rather more than the proper share of exercise. I was some time acquainted with Monsieur Beaujeu, a professor of gymnastics, who was a young man of fine figure, and excellent constitution. We have frequently conversed respecting his profession, to which he was much attached, and his opinion entirely coincided with that which I have expressed. His treatise on gymnastics, now lying on the table before me, contains copies of certificates in favour of the system, signed by several eminent physicians, who all concur in the opinion that such exercises are calculated to increase the muscular power, without, in the slightest degree, endangering the health. Amongst the names fixed to these