She wore her hair in a fuzz a-top,

Like a swab (the nautical term for mop);
Her ivory teeth were two gleaming rows,
And she carried a skewer in her comely nose.

She loved a sailor (did Titti Fal Lay),
Who had been on that island cast away.
Titti Fal Lay was the child of a king,
But she loved Jack Deadeyes like anything.

She loved Jack Deadeyes; but-woe is me!-
Jack Deadeyes he wasn't in love with she;
For he fondly thought of his lovely Nan
(Who lived at Wapping), did that young man.

And so, alas, and alack-a-day!

When an English ship sailed into the bay (The Lively Betty, a seventy-four),

He took a berth in that man-of-war!

Then Titti Fal Lay (her heart was broke)
Wept-but never a word she spoke;

But she skewered herself, did the mournful maid,
On the native weapon, a sword-fish blade.

They buried her under the Bo-bo tree,
With her favourite kitten along o' she;
And the purple-nosed monkeys sadly rave,
And chew their tails o'er the maiden's grave.

GOOD ALE.

JOHN STILL, BISHOP OF BATH AND WELLS.

ICANNOT eat but little meat,

My stomach is not good;

But sure, I think that I can drink
With any that wears a hood.

Though I go bare, take ye no care,
I am nothing a-cold;
I stuff my skin so full within
Of jolly good ale and old.
Back and side go bare, go bare,—
Both foot and hand go cold;

But, belly, God send thee good ale enough,
Whether it be new or old.

I love no roast but a nut-brown toast,
And a crab laid in the fire;

A little bread shall do me stead,—
Much bread I ne desire.

No frost, no snow, no wind I trow
Can hurt me if I wold;

I am so wrapt and thoroughly lapt
Of jolly good ale and old.

Back and side go bare, go bare,—
Both foot and hand go cold;

But, belly, God send thee good ale enough,
Whether it be new or old.

And Tib my wife, that as her life
Loveth well good ale to seek,
Full oft drinks she till you may see

The tears run down her cheek;
Then doth she troul to me the bowl,
Even as a maltworm shold,

And saith, "Sweetheart, I take my part
Of this jolly good ale and old."
Back and side go bare, go bare,—

Both foot and hand go cold;

But, belly, God send thee good ale enough, Whether it be new or old.

Now let them drink till they nod and wink,
Even as good fellows should do;

They shall not miss to have the bliss
Good ale doth bring men to;

And all poor souls that have scoured bowls,
Or have them lustily troul'd,

God save the lives of them and their wives,
Whether they be young or old.

Back and side go bare, go bare,—

Both foot and hand go

cold;

But, belly, God send thee good ale enough,
Whether it be new or old.

HOW COMMODORE TRUNNION WENT TO GET

MARRIED.

TOBIAS GEORGE SMOLLETT.

THE fame of this extraordinary conjunction spread all over the county; and on the day appointed for their spousals, the church was surrounded by an inconceivable multitude. The commodore, to give a specimen of his gallantry, by the advice of his friend Hatchway, resolved to appear on horseback on the grand occasion, at the head of all his male attendants, whom he had rigged with the white shirts and black caps formerly belonging to his barge's crew; and he bought a couple of hunters for the accommodation of himself and his lieutenant. With this equipage, then, he set out from the garrison for the church, after having despatched a messenger to apprise the bride that he and his company were mounted. She got immediately into the coach, accompanied by her brother and his wife, and drove directly to the place of assignation, where several pews. were demolished, and divers persons almost pressed to death, by the eagerness of the crowd that broke in to see the ceremony performed. Thus arrived at the altar, and the priest in attendance, they waited a whole half-hour for the commodore, at whose slowness they began to be under some apprehension, and accordingly dismissed a servant to quicken his pace. The valet having rode something more than a mile, espied the whole troop disposed in a long field, crossing the road

obliquely, and headed by the bridegroom and his friend Hatchway, who, finding himself hindered by a hedge from proceeding farther in the same direction, fired a pistol and stood over to the other side, making an obtuse angle with the line of his former course; and the rest of the squadron followed his example, keeping always in the rear of each other like a flight of wild geese.

Surprised at this strange mode of journeying, the messenger came up and told the commodore that his lady and her company expected him in the church, where they had tarried a considerable time, and were beginning to be very uneasy at his delay; and therefore desired he would proceed with more expedition. To this message Mr. Trunnion replied, "Hark ye, brother, don't you see we make all possible speed? Go back and tell those who sent you that the wind has shifted since we weighed anchor, and that we are obliged to make very short trips in tacking, by reason of the narrowness of the channel; and that as we lie within six points of the wind, they must make some allowance for variation and leeway." "Lord, sir!" said the valet, "what occasion have you to go zigzag in that manner? Do but clap spurs to your horses and ride straightforward, and I'll engage you shall be at the church-porch in less than a quarter of an hour." "What right in the wind's eye?" answered the commander; "ahoy! brother, where did you learn your navigation? Hawser Trunnion is not to be taught at this time of day how to lie his course, or keep his own reckoning. And as for you, brother, you best know the trim of your own frigate." The courier, finding he had to do with people who would not be easily persuaded out of their own opinions, returned to the temple, and made a report of what he had seen and heard, to the no small consolation of the bride, who had just begun to discover some signs of disquiet. Composed, however, by this piece of intelligence, she exerted her patience for the space of another half-hour, during

which period, seeing no bridegroom arrive, she was exceedingly alarmed; so that all the spectators could easily perceive her perturbation, which manifested itself in frequent palpitations, heart-heavings, and alterations of countenance, in spite of the assistance of a smelling-bottle which she incessantly applied to her nostrils.

Various were the conjectures of the company on this occasion: some imagined he had mistaken the place of rendezvous, as he had never been at church since he first settled in that parish; others believed he had met with some accident, in consequence of which his attendants had carried him back to his own house; and a third set, in which the bride herself was thought to be comprehended, could not help suspecting that the commodore had changed his mind. But all these suppositions, ingenious as they were, happened to be wide of the true cause that detained him, which was no other than this: The commodore and his crew had, by dint of tacking, almost weathered the parson's house, that stood to windward of the church, when the notes of a pack of hounds unluckily reached the ears of the two hunters which Trunnion and the lieutenant bestrode. These fleet animals no sooner heard the enlivening sound, than, eager for the chase, they sprung away all of a sudden, and strained every nerve to partake of the sport, flew across the fields with incredible speed, overleaped hedges and ditches, and everything in their way, without the least regard to their unfortunate riders. The lieutenant, whose steed had got the heels of the other, finding it would be great folly and presumption in him to pretend to keep the saddle with his wooden leg, very wisely took the opportunity of throwing himself off in his passage through a field of rich clover, among which he lay at his ease; and seeing his captain advancing at full gallop, hailed him with the salutation of "What cheer? ho!" The commodore, who was in infinite distress, eyeing him askance as he passed, replied with a faltering voice, "Oh, you are safe at an