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is, it is often proper that the experience of parents should prompt them to interpose to prevent, but never to enforce marriage. We have many polished knaves in modern times, who make it a profession to betray innocence, and sacrifice virtue-demons, that have been vomited out of hell, to serve the devil. Marriages, not based on mutual esteem, often produce connubial infidelity, always unhappiness. A few discreet men seek for wives, some seek for nurses, more seek for beauties, and a larger portion seek for money in hand, or in expectancy. Fashion and habit have also thrown much mud in the stream of matrimony, since the time our hardy and happy pioneers settled this country. Then, the girls and boys were permitted to eat and grow fatnow, they are often moulded after the wasp, body and mind. Then, they took their lessons in the kitchen and field; now, in the drawing room and anti-work societies. Formerly, they made and wore homespun; now, our country is drained of specie to supply more costly, and less comfortable and durable wearing apparel. Then, the girls were educated for wives, and the boys for men of industry—now, the former are educated to make a show, the latter, to make a dash. Then, the spinning wheel was sweet music—now, it is vulgar. Domestic felicity, old-fashioned economy and industry, have been strangled together, by fashion and habithence, we have fewer happy marriages, and more divorces, than in times of yore. All are not angels, that angels seem.
Marriage, properly engaged in, enhances the consequence of those who enter into it, by inspiring confidence in the surrounding community. Figure one only counts a single unit, make it as big as you may-put another. figure one by its side, and we have eleven. The married man, if he performs his duty, is no longer a bird of passage, but becomes a permanent citizen, and as his little responsibilities increase, feels an increasing interest in the welfare of our common country. His comforts, interests, joys, and griefs; are shared by the partner of his bosom-his soul is expanded-he has something to care for, besides his noble self-consolations unknown to single blessedness—bachelors.
But love on both sides, and all things equal in outward circumstances, are not all the requisites of domestić felicity. Human nature is frail, and multiform in its passions. The honey moon gets a dash of vinegar, now and then, when least expected. Young people seldom court in their every-day clothes, but they must put them on after marriage. As in other bargains, but few expose defects. They are apt to marry faultless love is blind—but faults are there, and will come out. The fastidious attentions of wooing, are like spring flowers, they make pretty nosegays, but poor greens. Miss Darling becomes the plain house wife, and Mr. Allattention, the informal husband, not from a want of esteem, but from the constitution and nature of man. If all these changes, and more than would answer in wooing time, are anticipated, as they are by some analyzing minds, their happiness will not be embittered by them when they come. Bear and forbear, must be the motto put in practice.
Let the unmarried be cautious of those who do not treat their parents, those around them, and even brute animals, kindly. Beware of those who do not, at least, respect religion. Beware of those whose minds are always floating on the surface of vanity, and are nauseated at. serious reflection. Beware of those who have more nonsense than common sense. Finally, to enter safely into the married state—the contracting parties should understand human nature, and above all, their own dispositions—and then compare them frankly and candidly. If one is alkaline, and the other acid, a frequent effervescence must occur—to be happy under such circumstances, your love must be strong, and religion rule your hearts. The Rock of Ages, is the firmest foundation on which matrimony can rest. The atmosphere of piety is free from many storms and fogs, that overtake and hang over those who are strangers to its purity. I will add the experience of another, for our mutual benefit.
“When people understand they must live together, for reasons known to the law, they learn to soften, by mutual accommodation, the yoke which they cannot now shake off. They become good husbands and wives, from the necessity of remaining husbands and wives; for necessity is a powerful master, in teaching the duty it imposes. If it were once understood, that, upon mutual disgust, married persons might be legally separated, many couple, who now pass through the world with mutual comfort—with attention to their common offspring, and to the moral order of civilized society, might have been, at this moment, living in a state of mutual unkindness—in a state of estrangement from their common offspring, and in a state of the most licentious and unreserved immorality.
“In this case, as in many others, the happiness of some individuals must be sacrificed to the greater and more general good. If people come together, with the extravagant expectation, that all are to be halcyon days—the husband conceiving, that all is to be authority with him, and the wife, that all is to be accommodation with her, every body sees how that must end. If they come together with the prospect of happiness, they must come with the reflection, that not bringing perfection in themselves, they have no right to expect it on the other side—that having respectively many infirmities of their own to be overlooked, they must overlook the infirmities of each other.”—Lord Stowell.
OFTEN SELF CREATED.
A LARGE portion of the miseries of mankind, in a pecuniary point of view, are brought on by themselves. One cause may be found in a restless disposition. Some men try every kind of business by turns, become master of none, and necessarily make a sacrifice at every change. They fly every way to get wealth, and overtake poverty before they are aware of its proximity. Had they begun coblers, and stuck to the awl—all would have been well. The people of our country are more fickle in business, than those of any other.
Mrs. Restless has a kind husband, docile children, and a competence. Her neighbor, Mrs. Stylish, has a wealthy, surly, snappish husband; but is surrounded by splendid furniture, and rides in a carriage. Mrs. Restless envies her pomp, and would be glad to be in her situation; and Mrs. Stylish envies, in turn, the other fair lady, because she has a kind husband, and is not troubled with the parade of wealth. Both are unhappy, because discontented. Farmer A. and Merchant B., both well off, imagine a change in business and location, from country to city, and from city to country, will enhance their happiness, and increase their wealth. They try it, and soon make shipwreck of their wealth, and sigh for former comforts, now beyond their reach. Had they let well enough alone, all would have been well.
Another cause may be found in the indulgence of artificial and imaginary wants. More expensive dresses, more delicate food, more costly furniture, the comfortable plain carriage must give place to a coach-none of which add to real comfort, perhaps the reversehave ruined thousands.
Trying to purchase the reputation of wealth in the opinion of others, by living beyond their means, has · landed many a family on the bleak shores of poverty.
These exhibit more folly than the preceding characters.
A greedy ambition and impatience after wealth, often brings poverty down upon a man, like a thousand of brick. Rash speculation often does the work in short order.
An indulgence in the pleasures, fashions, vices, and follies of the day, is the greatest source of self-created misfortunes, which are neither few or light.
To avoid these misfortunes, the first grand requisite is, to become truly pious, and live in the favor of our great Benefactor. Be temperate-govern your desires and passions—be on good terms with the world, and those around you—spend all your time usefully—make no enemy or lose no friend carelessly—be cheerful and contented—despise not small gains-never be