« AnteriorContinuar »
quire a new, a bold, and an impartial the eyes of Frenchmen are beginning pen. The calamitous events immedi- to be purged of the inists which false ately subsequent to the restoration have notions of glory had called up, has been scarcely touched upon. Thiers employed his all-powerful pen to enand Mignet are far too much of fa- courage the delusion by spreading talists in their histories of the Revolu- a dangerous admiration for Napotion; and Béranger, at a time when leon.
Heaven knows our travellers have sufficiently alloyed the beautiful, and profaned the sublime, by associating these with themselves, the common-place, and the ridiculous; but out upon them, thus to tread on the grey hairs of centuries,-on the untrodden snows of Mont Blanc.
Thou monarch of the upper air,
The poet and philosopher Are born of such an hour. But now where may we seek a place For any spirit's dream? Our steps have been o'er every soil, Our sails o'er every stream. Those isles, the beautiful Azores, The fortunate, the fair! We looked for their perpetual spring To find it was not there. Bright El Dorado, land of gold, We have so sought for thee, There's not a spot in all the globe Where such a land can be. How pleasant were the wild beliefs That dwelt in legends old ! Alas! to our posterity Will no such tales be told. We know too much, scroll after scroll Weighs down our weary shelves; Our only point of ignorance Is centred in ourselves. Alas! for thy past mystery, For thine untrodden snow, Nurse of the tempest, hadst thou none To guard thy outraged brow? Thy summit, once the unapproached, Haih human presence owned; With the first step upon thy crest, Mont Blanc, thou wert dethroned.
THE SHAVING SHOP.
"Tis not an half hour's work-
« Hold back your head, if you please, paper there ?” said I ; "are you a posir, that I may get this napkin proper- litician, Mr. Tims ?” ly fastened--there now," said Toby “Oh, just a little bit of one. I get
Tims, as, securing the pin, he dipped Bell's Messenger at second hand from his razor into hot water, and began a neighbor, who has it from his couworking up with restless brush the la- sin in the Borough, who, I believe, is ther of his soap-box.
the last reader of a club of fourteen, “ I dare say you have got a news- who take it among them ; and, being
last, as I observed, sir, he has the pa- very much admired-extremely like per to himself into the bargain.- Please the Wenus de Medicine-capital nose exalt your chin, sir, and keep your and as for the wig department, catch head a little to one side—there, sir,” me for that, sir. But of all them there added Toby, commencing his opera- pictures hanging around, yon is the tions with the brush, and hvarifying favorite of myself and the connesmy barbal extremity, as the facetious soors.” Thomas Hood would propably express “Ay, Mr. Tims,” said I, “ that is it. “Now, sir-a leetle more round, truly a gein-an old lover kneeling at if you please—there, sir, there. It is the foot of his young sweetheart, and a most entertaining paper, and beats two fellows in buckram taking a peep all for news. In fact, it is full of eve- at them from among the trees." rything, sir--every, everything-ac- “ Capital, sir-capital. I'll tell you cidents—charity serinons-markets- a rare good story, sir, connected with boxing—Bible societies—horse-racing that picture and my own history, with -child-murders - the theatres - for your honor's leave, sir." eign wars-Bow-street reports-elec- “ With all my heart, Mr. Timstioneering—and Day and Martin's you are very obliging." blacking.”
“Well then, sir, take that chair, and « Are you a bit of a bruiser, Mr. I will get on like a house on fire ; but Tims ?"
if you please, don't put me off my clew, “Oh, bless your heart, sir, only a sir.—Concerning that picture and my leetle—a very leetle. A turn-up with courtship, the most serious epoch of the gloves, or so, your honor.-I'm my life, there is a leetle bit of a story but a light weight-only a light weight which I would like to be a beacon to -seven stone and a half, sir; but a others ; and if your honor is still a rare bit of stuff, though I say it my- bachelor, and not yet stranded on the self, sir-Begging your pardon. I dare shoals of matrimony, it may be Wer. say I have put some of the soap into bum sapienti, as O'Toole the Irish your mouth. Now, sir, now-please schoolmaster used to observe, when in let me hold your nose, sir.”
the act of applying the birch to the « Scarcely civil, Mr. Toby,” said I, booby's back. “ scarcely civil-Phroo ! let me spit “ Well, sir, having received a gramout the suds."
matical education, and been brought “I will be done in a moment, sir- up as a peruke-maker from my earliest in half a moment. Well, sir, speak- years—besides having seen a deal of ing of razors, they should be always high life, and the world in general, properly tempered with hot water, a in carrying false curls, bandeaux, and leetle dip more or less. You see now other artificial head-gear paraphernahow it glides over, smooth and smack lia, in bandboxes to boarding-schools, as your hand.—Keep still, sir, I might and so on-a desire naturally sprung have given you a nick just now.—You up within me, being now in my twendon't choose a leetle of the mustachy ty-first year, and worth a guinea a left ?"
week of wages, to look about for what “No, no--off with it all. No ma- old kind Seignor Fiddle-stringo the trimonial news stirring in this quarter minuet-master used to recommend unjust now, Mr. Tims ?”
der the title of a cara sposa-open shop « Nothing extremely particular.- --and act head frizzle in an establishNow, sir, you are fit for the King's ment of my own. levee, so far as my department is con- “ Very good, sir-In the pursuit of cerned. But you cannot go out just this virtuous purpose, I cast a sheep's now, sir-see how it rains—a perfect eye over the broad face of society, and water-spout. Just feel yourself at at length, from a number of eligible home, sir, for a leetle, and take a peep specimens, I selected three, who, whearound you. That block, sir, bas been ther considered in the light of natural
44 ATHENEUM, vol. 1, 3d series.
beauty, or mental accomplishment, weight, head cook and housekeeper to struck me forcibly as suitable coadju- Sir Anthony Macturk, a Scotch bators for a man--for a man like your ronet, who rusticated in the vicinity humble servant."
of town. I made her a few evening “ A most royal bow that, Mr. Tims. visits, and we talked love affairs orer Well, proceed, if you please.”
muffins and a cup of excellent congou. " Very good, sir,-well, then, to Then what a variety of jams and jelproceed. The first of these was Miss lies! I never returned without a disDiana Tonkin, a young lady, who ordered stomach, and wishing Highkept her brother's snuff-shop, at the land heather-honey at the devil. Yet, sign of the African astride the Tobacco after all, to prove a hoax for even Barrel—a rare beauty, who was on when I was on the point of popping the most intimate talking terms with the question, and had fastened my silk half a hundred young bloods and Jem Belcher with a knowing leetle beaux, who looked in during lounging knot to set out for that purpose, I hours, being students of law, physic, learned from Francie, the stable-boy, and divinity, half-pay ensigns, and that she had the evening before eloped theatrical understrappers, to replenish with the coachman, and returned to their boxes with Lundyfoot, whiff a her post that forenoon metamorphosed Havana cigar, or masticate pigtail. into Madam Trot. No wonder that she was spoiled by “I first thought, sir, of hanging flattery, Miss Diana, for she was a bit myself over the first lamp-post; but, of a beauty ; and though she had but after a leetle consideration, I deterone eye-by Heavens, what an eye mined to confound Madam Trot, and that was !”
all other fickle fair ones, by that very “She must have been an irresisti- night marrying Miss Diana. I basble creature, certainly, Mr. Tims,” tened on, rushed precipitately into the said I. “ Well, how did you come 'shop, and on the subject-and hear,
oh Heaven, and believe, oh earth! was « Irresistible ! but you shall hear, met not by a plump denial, but was sir. I foresaw that, in soliciting the shown the door.” honor of this fair damsel's hand, I “Upon my word, Mr. Tims,” said should have much opposition to en- I, “ you have been a most unfortunate counter from the rivalry of the three man. I wonder you recovered after learned professions, to say nothing of such mighty reverses ? but I hope " the gentlemen of the sword and of “Hope! that is the word, sir, the the buskin ; but, thinks I to myself, very word, I still had hope; so, after
faint heart never won fair lady,' so ten days' horrible melancholy, in which I at once set up a snuff-box, looked I cropped not a few heads in a novel as tip-topping as possible, and com- and unprecedented style, I at it again, menced canvassing.
and laid immediate and close siege to « The second elite (for I know a the last and loveliest of the trio-one leetle French, having for three months, by whom I was shot dead at first during my apprenticeship, had the sight, and of whom it might be said, honor of frizzling the gead-gear of as I once heard Kean justly observe Count Witruvius de Caucauson, who in a very pretty tragedy, and to a nuoccupied private state-lodgings at the merous audience, We ne'er shall sign of the Blue Boar in the Poultry, look upon her like again!'” and who afterwards decamped with- « Capital, Mr. Tims. Well, how out clearing scores the second elite, did you get on ?" (for I make a point, sir, of having «A moment's patience, with your two strings to my bow,) was Mrs. honor's leave.--Ah ! truly might it Joan Sweetbread, a person of exqui- be said of her, that she was descen.led site parts, but fiery temper, at that from the high and great-her grandtime aged thirty-three, twelve stone father having been not only six feet
three, without the shoes, but for forty the following evening, I had a polite odd years principal bell-ringer in the visit from her respectable old father, steeple of St. Giles's, Cripplegate ; and Daniel Mainspring, who asked me what her grandmother, for long and long, my intentions were ? not only head dry-nurse to one of the " To commence wig-maker on my noblest families in all England, but own bottom,' answered I. bona fide twenty-two stone avoirdupois. But with respect to my daughAs to this nonpareil of lovely flesh and ter, sir ?' blood, her name was Lucy Main- ««Why, to be sure, to make her spring, the daughter of a horologer, mistress, sir.' sir,--a watchmaker-vulgo so called “ Mistress !' quoth he, did I hear and though fattish, she was very fair you right, sir ?'
-fair ! by Jupiter, (craving your ho- «"I hope you are not hard of hearnor's pardon for swearing,) she fairly ing, Mr. Mainspring. I wish, sir-bemade me give all other thoughts the tween us, sir-you understand, sircut, and twisted the passions of my to marry her, sir.' heart with the red-hot torturing irons ". Then you can't have her, sir.' of love. 'Pon honor, sir, I almost “. But I must, sir ; for I can't do grow foolish, when I think of those without her, sir.' days ; but love, sir, nothing can resist “ Then you may buy a rope.' love, a saying which Professor Heavy. " Ah! you would not sign my stern once turned into Greek, as I was death-warrant-wouldn't you not now, ribbanding his pigtail for a tea and Mr. Mainspring?'. turn-out.- Homniæ wincit Hamor,' «. Before going,' said he, rummagsaid he ; to which I observed, 'a very ing his buge coat-pockets with both 'cute remark, your reverence. But hands at once, there is your letter, you shall hear, sir.”
which I read over patiently, instead “I hope, Mr. Tims, you were in of my daughter, who has never seen better luck with Miss Mainspring ?” it ; and I hope you will excuse the li
“A leetle, a leetle patience, your berty I take of calling you a great fool, honor, and all will be out as quick as and wishing you a good inorning.' directly-the twinkling of a bedpost: “ Now, though a lad of mettle, you -For three successive nights I sat up know, sir, it would not have been quite in a brown study, with a four-in-the- the thing to have called out my inpound candle burning before me till tended father-in-law ; so, with amazalmost cock-crow, composing a love- ing forbearance, bridling my passion, letter, a most elaborate affair, the I allowed him to march off triumphpure overflowing of la belle passion, antly, and stood, with the letter in my all about Wenus, Cupids, bows and ar- hand, looking down the alley after him, rows, hearts, darts, and them things, strutting along, staff in hand, like a which, having copied neatly over on recruiting sergeant, as if he had been a handsome sheet of foolscap, turned a phenix. up with gilt, (for, though I say it “A man of my penetration was not myself, I scribble a smart fist,) I made long in scenting out who was the fora blotch of red wax on the back as midable rival to whom Daddy Mainlarge as a dollar, that thereon I might spring alluded. Sacre! to think the the more indelibly impress a seal, mercenary old hunks could dream of with a couple of pigeons cooing upon sacrificing my lovely Lucy to such a it, and toujours wotre' for the motto. hobgoblin of a fellow as a superannuThis I popped into the post-office, and ated dragoon quartermaster, with a awaited patiently-may I add confi- beak like Bardolph's in the play. But dently ?-for the result.
I had some confidence in my own qua“No answer having come as I ex- lifications; and as I gave a sly glance pected per return, I began to smell down at my nether person, Dashthat I was in the wrong box ; so, on the-wig-of-him!' thought I to myself, if he can sport a leg like that of " The old boy, however, ignorant Toby Tims.' I accordingly determin- of our orgies, was still bothering his ed not to be discomfited, and took the brains to bring about matrimony beearliest opportunity of presenting Miss tween his daughter and the veteranLucy, through a sure channel, with a who, though no younger than Methupassionate billet-doux, a patent pair salem, as stiff as the Monument, and of gilt bracelets, and a box of Ruspi- as withered as Belzoni's Piccadilly ni's tooth-powder. By St. Patrick and mummy, had yet the needful, sirall the powers, it was shocking to sup- had abundance of the wherewithalpose that such an angel as the cherry- crops of yellow shiners-lots of the cheeked Lucy should be stolen from real-sported a gig, and kept on board me by such an apology for a gallant, wages a young shaver of all work, as Quartermaster Bottlenose of the with a buff jacket, turned up with Tipperary Rangers. 'Twas murder, sky-blue facings. Only think, sirby Jupiter."
only ponder for a moment what a for"I perfectly agree with you, Mr. midable rival I had !” Tims. Did you challenge him to the “I hope you beat him off, however," duello ?”
said I. The greater danger the more “A leetle patience, if you please, honor you know, Mr. Tims." sir, and you shall hear all. During “Of that anon, sir.-Lucy, on her the violence of my love-fits, I com- part, angelic creature, professed that mitted a variety of professional mis- she could not dream of being undutitakes. I sent at one time a pot of ful towards kind old Pa; and that, bear's grease away by the inail, in a unless desperate measures were rewig-box, to a member of parliament in sorted to, quamprimum, in the twinkYorkshire ; and burned a whole batch ling of a bed-post she would be under of baked hair to ashes, while singing the disagreeable necessity to go with Moore's When he who adores thee,' the disabled man of war to the temple in attitude, before a block, dressed up of Hymen Sacrilegious thought! I for the occasion with a fashionable could not permit it to enter my bosom, wig upon it—to say nothing of my and (pardon me for a moment, sir) having, in a fit of abstraction, given a when I looked down, and caught a beautiful young lady, who was going glance of my own natty-looking, tight that same evening to a Lord Mayor's little leg, and dapper Hessians, I reball, the complete charity-workhouse commended her strongly to act on the cut, leaving her scalp as bare as the principle of the Drury-lane play-bill, back of my hand. But cheer up! which says, " All for Love, or the to my happy astonishment, sir, mat- World well lost.' ters worked like a charm. What a “Well, sir, hark ye, just to show parley-vooing and billet-dooing pass- how things come about; shortly after ed between us! We would have re- this, on the anniversary of my hoquired a porter for the sole purpose. nored old master, Zechariah Pigtail's Then we had stolen interviews of two birth, when we were allowed to strike hours' duration each, for several suc- work at noon, I determined, as a dercessive nights, at the old horologer's nier resort, as a clincher, sir, to act back-door, during which, besides a the genteel, and invite Miss Lucy, in multiplicity of small-talk-thanks to her furs and falderals, to accompany his deafness-I tried my utmost to me to the exhibition of Pictures. entrap her affections, by reciting son. Heavens, sir, how I dressed on that nets, and spouting bits of plays in the day! The Day and Martin of my manner of the tragedy performers. boots reflected on the shady side of These were the happy times, sir! The the street. I took half an hour in world was changed for me. Padding- tying and retying my neckcloth en ton canal seemed the river Pactolus, mode. My handkerchief smelt of laand Ray-Fair Elysium !
vender, and my hair of oil of thyme