[Exeunt Page, Ford; and Evans. Mrs. Page. Go, mistress Ford, Send quickly to Sir John, to know his mind. [Exit Mrs. Ford. I'll to the doctor; he hath my good will, And none but he, to marry with Nan Page. That Slender, though well landed, is an idiot; And he my husband best of all effects: The doctor is well monied, and his friends Potent at court: he, none but he, shall have her, Though twenty thousand worthier come to crave her. [Exit.

SCENE V.-A Room in the Garter Inn.

Enter HOST and SIMPLE.

Host. What wouldst thou have, boor? What, thick-skin? Speak, breathe, discuss; brief, short, quick, snap.

Sim. Marry, Sir, I come to speak with Sir John Falstaff from master Slender.

Host. There's his chamber, his house, his castle, his standing-bed, and truckle-bed; 'tis painted about with the story of the prodigal, fresh and new: go, knock and call; he'll speak like an Anthropophaginian unto thee; knock, I say.

Sim. There is an old woman, a fat woman, gone up into his chamber; I'll be so bold as to stay,Sir, till she come down I come to speak with her, indeed. Host. Ha! a fat woman! the knight may be robbed: I'll call.-Bully knight! Bully Sir Jolin! speak from thy lungs military: Art thou there? It is thine host, thine Ephesian, calls.

Fal. [Above.] How now, mine host? Host. Here's a Bohemian Tartar tarries the coming down of thy fat woman: let her descend, bully, let her descend; my chambers are honour. able: Fie! privacy? fie!

Enter FALSTAFF.

Fal. There was, mine host, an old fat woman even now with me: but she's gone.

Sim. Pray you, Sir, was't not the wise woman of Brentford?

Ful. Ay, marry was it, muscle-shell; What would you with her?

Sim. My master, Sir, my master Slender, sent to her, seeing her go through the streets, to know, Sir, whether one Nym, Sir, that beguiled him of a chain, had the chain or no.

Fal. I spake with the old woman about it. Sim. And what says she, I pray, Sir? Fal. Marry, she says, that the very same man, that beguiled master Slender of his chain, cozen'd

him of it.

Sim. I would, I could have spoken with the woman herself; I had other things to have spoken with her too, from him.

Fal. What are they? Let us know.
Host. Ay, come: quick.

Sim. I may not conceal them, Sır.
Fal. Conceal them, or thou diest.

Sim? Why, Sir, they were nothing but about mistress Anne Page; to know, if it were my master's fortune to have her, or no.

Fal. Tis his fortune.

Sim. What, Sir?

Pal. To have her, or no: go; say, the woman told me so.

Sim. May I be so bold to say so, Sir? Fal. Ay, Sir Tike; who more bold? Sim. I thank your worship: I shall make my master glad with these tidings. [Exit Simple. Host. Thou art clerkly, thou art clerkly, Sir John Was there a wise woman with thee?

Fal. Ay, that there was, mine host: one, that hath taught me more wit than ever I learn'd before in my life and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for my learning.

Enter BARDOLPH.

Bard. Out, alas, Sir! Cozenage! Meer cozenage! Host. Where be my horses? Speak well of them, varletto.

Burd. Run away with the cozeners: for so soon as I came beyond Eton, they threw me off, from behind one of them, in a slough of mire; and set • Cannibal. + Cunning woman, a fortune-teller. + Scholar-like.

Host. They are gone but to meet the duke, villain: do not say, they be fled; Germans are honest men. Enter Sir HUGH EVANS.

Eva. Where is mine host?
Host. What is the matter, Sir?

Eva. Have a care of your entertainments: there is a friend of mine come to town, tells me, there three cousin Germans, that has cozen'd all the hosts of Readings, of Maidenhead, of Colebrook, of horses and money. I tell you for good-will, look you: yos are wise, and full of gibes and vlouting-stogs; and 'tis not convenient you should be cozen'd: fare you well. [Exit.

Enter Doctor CAIUS.

Caius. Vere is mine Host de Jarterre? Host. Here, master doctor, in perplexity, and doubtful dilemma.

Calus. I cannot tell vat is dat: but it is tell-a me, dat you make grand preparation for a duke de Jarmany: by my trot, dere is no duke, dat de court is know to come: I tell you for good vill: adieu.

[Exif Host. Hue and cry, villian, go:-Assist me, knight; I am undone :-Fly, run, hue and cry, villain! I am undone ! [Exeunt Host and Bardolph.

Fal. I would, all the world might be cozen'd; for I have been cozen'd, and beaten too. If it should come to the ear of the court, how I have been transform'd, and how my transformation hath been wash'd and cudgel'd, they would melt me out of my fat, drop by drop, and liquor fishermen's boots with me: I warrant, they would whip me with their fine wits, till I were as crest-fallen as a dried pear. I never prosper'd since I foreswore myself t primero. Well, if my wind were but long enough to say my prayers, I would repent.Enter Mrs. QUICKLY.

Now! Whence come you?

Quick. From the two parties, forsooth. Fal. The devil take one party, and his dam the other, and so they shall be both bestow'd! I have suffer'd more for their sakes, more, than the vil lainous inconstancy of man's disposition is able to bear.

Quick. And have not they suffer'd? Yes, I warrant; speciously one of them; mistress Ford, good heart, is beaten black and blue, that you cannot see a white spot about her.

Fal. What tell'st thou me of black and blue ? I was beaten myself into all the colours of the rainbow; and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of Brentford; but that my admirable dexterity of wit, my counterfeiting the action of an old woman, deliver'd me, the knave constable had set me i' the stocks, i' the common stocks, for a witch.

Quick. Sir, let me speak with you in your chamber: you shall hear how things go; and I warrant, to your content. Here is a letter will say somewhat. Good hearts, what ado here is to bring you together. Sure, one of you does not serve heaven well, that you are so cross'd.

Fal. Come up into my

chamber.

[Exeunt.

SCENE VI.-Another Room in the Garter Inn.

Enter FENTON and HOST. Host. Master Fenton, talk not to me: my mind is heavy, I will give over all. [pose,

Fent. Yet hear me speak: assist me in my pur And, as I am a gentleman, I'll give thee A hundred pound in gold, more than your loss. Host. I will hear you, master Fenton; and I will, at the least, keep your counsel.

Fent. From time to time I have acquainted you With the dear love I bear to fair Anne Page ;' Who, mutually, hath answer'd my affection (So far forth as herself might be her chooser,) Even to my wish: I have a letter from her Of such contents as you will wonder at; The mirth whereof so larded with my matter, That neither, singly, can be manifested, Without the show of both;-wherein fat Falstaff Hath a great scene: the image of the jest.

[Shewing the Letter. I'll shew you here at large. Hark, good mine host: To-night at Herne's oak, just 'twixt twelve and one A game at cards.

Mnst my sweet Nan present the fairy queen;
The purpose why, is here; in which disguise,
While other jests are something rank on foot,
Her father hath commanded her to slip
Away with Slender, and with him at Eton
Immediately to marry: she hath consented:
Now, Sir,

Her mother even strong against that match,
And firm for Doctor Caius, hath appointed
That he shall likewise shuffle her away,
While other sports are tasking of their minds,
And at the deanery, where a priest attends,
Straight marry her: to this her mother's plot
She, seemingly obedient, likewise hath
Made promise to the doctor :-Now, thus it rests:
Her father means she shall be all in white:
And in that habit, when Slender sees his time
To take her by the hand, and bid her go,
She shall go with him :-Her mother hath intended,
The better to denote her to the doctor,
(For they must all be mask'd and vizarded,)
That, quaint in green, she shall be loose enrobed,
With ribbands pendant, flaring 'bout her head;
And when the doctor spies his vantage ripe,
To pinch her by the hand, and, on that token,
The maid hath given consent to go with him.
Host. Which means she to deceive? Father or
mother?

Fent. Both, my good host, to go along with me: And here it rests, that you'll procure the vicar To stay for me at church, 'twixt twelve and one, And, in the lawful name of marrying, To give our hearts united ceremony.

Host. Well, husband your device: I'll to the vicar;

Bring you the maid, you shall not lack a priest. Fent. So shall I ever more be bound to thee; Besides, I'll make a present recompense. [Exeunt.

ACT V.7

SCENE I.-A Room in the Garter Inn.

Enter FALSTAFF and Mrs. QUICKLY. Fal. Pr'ythee, no more prattling;—go,—I'll hold : This is the third time; I hope, good luck lies in odd numbers. Away, go; they say, there is divinity in odd numbers, either in nativity, chance, or death.Away.

Quick. I'll provide you a chain; and I'll do what I can to get you a pair of horns. Fal. Away, I say; time wears: hold up your head, and mince. [Exit Mrs. Quickly.

Enter FORD. How now, master Brook? Master Brook, the matter will be known to-night, or never. Be you in the park about midnight, at Herne's oak, and you shall

see wonders.

Ford. Went you not to her yesterday, Sir, as you told me you had appointed?

Fal. I went to her, master Brook, as you see, like a poor old man: but I came from her, master Brook, like a poor old woman. That same knave, Ford, her husband, hath the finest mad devil of jealousy in him, master Brook, that ever govern'd frenzy. I will tell you. He beat me grievously, in the shape of a woman'; for in the shape of man, master Brook, I fear not Goliath with a weaver's Deam; because I know also, life is a shuttle. I am in haste; go along with me; I'll tell you all, master Brook. Since I pluck'd geese, played truant, and whipp'd top, I knew not what it was to be beaten, till lately. Follow me: I'll tell you strange things of this kilave Ford; on whom to night I will be revenged, and I will deliver his wife into your hand. -Follow; strange things in hand, master Brook! [Exeunt.

follow.

1

Shal. That's good too-But what needs either your mum, or her budget? The white will decipher. her well enough.-It hath struck ten o'clock.

Page. The night is dark; light and spirits will become it well. Heaven prosper our sport! No man meaus evil but the devil, and we shall know him by his horns. Let's away; follow me. [Exeunt. SCENE III.-The Street in Windsor.

Enter Mrs. PAGE, Mrs. FORD, and Dr. CAIUS. Mrs. Page. Master doctor, my daughter is in green: when you see your time, take her by the hand, away with her to the deanery, and despatch it quickly; go before into the park; we two must go together."" Caius. I know vat I have to do; adieu.

Mrs. Page. Fare you well, Sir. [Exit Caius.] My husband will not rejoice so much at the abuse of Falstaff, as he will chafe at the doctor's marrying my daughter; but 'tis no matter; better a little chiding, than a great deal of heart-break.

Mrs. Ford. Where is Nan now, and her troop of fairies? And the Welch devil, Hugh?

Mrs. Page. They are all couch'd in a pit hard by Herne's oak, with obscured lights; which, at the very instant of Falstaff's and our meeting, they' will at once display to the night.

Mrs. Ford. That cannot choose but amaze him. Mrs. Page. If he be not amazed, he will be mock'd; if he be amazed, he will every way be mock'd. Mrs, Ford. We'll betray him finely. Mrs. Page. Against such lewdsters, and their lechery,

Those that betray them do no treachery.
Mrs. Ford. The hour draws on; to the oak, to
the oak!..
Exeunt.

SCENE IV.-Windsor Park.

Enter Sir HUGH EVANS and Fairies. Eva. Trib, trib, fairies; come; and remember your parts; be pold, I pray you; follow me into the pit: and when I give the, watch-'ords, do as I pid you; come, come; trib, trib. [Exeunt.

SCENE V.-Another part of the Park. Enter FALSTAFF disguised with a Buck's Head on. Fal. The Windsor bell hatli struck twelve; the 'minute draws on: now, the hot-blooded gods assist me!--Remember, Jove, thon wast a bull for thy Europa; love set on thy horns.-0 powerful love ! That, in some respects, makes a beast a man; in some other, a man a beast.-You were also, Jupiter, a swan, for the love of Leda ;-0, omnipotent love! How near the god drew to the complexion of a goose-A fault done first in the form of a beast;O Jove, a beastly fault; and then another fault, in the semblance of a fowl; think on't, Jove: a foul fault.-When gods have hot backs, what shall poor men do? For me, I am here a Windsor stag; and the fattest, I think, i' the forest; send me a cool rut-tinie, Jove, or who can blame me to piss my tallow? Who comes here? My doe?

Enter Mrs. FORD and Mrs. PAGE.

Mrs. Ford. Sir John? Art thou there, my deer ! My male deer?

Fal. My doe with the black scut?-Let the sky rain potatoes; let it thunder to the tune of Green Sleeves; hail kissing-comfits, and snoweringoes; let there come a tempest of provocation, I will shelter [Embracing her.

me here.

Mrs. Ford. Mistress Page is come with me, sweetheart.

Fal. Divide me like a bribe-buck, each a haunch: I will keep my sides to myself, my shoulders for the fellow of this walk, and my horus I bequeath your husbands. Am I a woodman? Ha! Speak I Like Herne the hunter ?-Why, now is Cupid a child of conscience; he makes restitution. As I am a true spirit, welcome! [Noise within.

"

Mrs. Page. Alas! What noise?
Mrs. Ford. Heaven forgive our sins?
Fal. What should this be?

lest the oil that is in me should set hell on fire; he Fat I think, the devil will not have me damn'd,

would never else cross me thus.

Keeper of the forest.

Enter Str HUGH EVANS, like a Satyr ; Mrs. Quickly, and PISTOL; ANNE PAGE, as the Fairy Queen, attended by her brother and others, dressed like fairies, with waxen tapers on their heads.

Quick. Fairies, black, grey, green, and white,
You moon-shine revellers, and shades of night,
You orphan-heirs of fixed destiny,
Attend your office, and your quality •.
Crier Hobgoblin, make the fairy o-yes.

Pist. Elves, list your names; silence, you airy

toys.

Cricket, to Windsor chimneys shalt thou leap: Where fires thou find'st unraked, and hearths unswept,

There pinch the maids as blue as bilberry;
Our radiant queen hates sluts, and sluttery.
Fal. They are fairies; he, that speaks to them,

shall die :

I'll wink and couch: no man their works must eye. [Lies down upon his face. Eva. Where's Bede?-Go you, and where you find a maid,

That, ere she sleep, has thrice her prayers said,
Raise up the organs of her fantasy,
Sleep she as sound as careless infancy;
But those as sleep, and think not on their sins,
Pinch them, arms, legs, backs, shoulders, sides,

and shins.

Quick. About, about,

Search Windsor castle, elves, within and out:
Strew good luck, ouphes, on every sacred room;
That it may stand till the perpetual doom,
In state as wholesome, as in state 'tis fit;
Worthy the owner, and the owner it.
The several chairs of order look you scour
With juice of balm, aud every precious flower:
Each fair instalment, coat, and several crest,
With loyal blazon, evermore be blest!
And nightly, meadow-fairies, look, you sing,
Like to the Garter's compass, in a ring:
The expressure that it bears, green let it be,
More fertile-fresh than all the field to see;
And, Honi soit qui mal y pense, write,

In emerald tufts, flowers purple, blue, and white;
Like sapphire, and rich embroidery,
Buckled below fair knighthood's bending knee :
Fairies use flowers for their charactery +.
Away; disperse; but, till 'tis one o'clock,
Our dance of custom, round about the oak
Of Herne the hunter, let us not forget.
Eva. Pray you, lock hand in hand; yourselves

in order set:

And twenty glow-worms shall our lanterns be,
To guide our measure round about the tree.
But, stay; I smell a man of middle earth.

Fal. Heavens defend me from that Welch fairy! Lest he transform me to a piece of cheese!

Pist. Vile worm, thou wast o'erlooked even in thy birth.

Quick. With trial-fire touch me his finger-end: If he be chaste, the flame will back descend, And turn him to no pain; but if he start,

It is the flesh of a corrupted heart.

Pist. A trial, come.

Eva. Come, will this wood take fire? [They burn him with their tapers.

Fal. Oh, oh, ohl

Quick. Corrupt, corrupt, and tainted in desire! About him, fairies; sing a scornful rhyme : And, as you trip, still pinch him to your time. Eva. It is right; indeed he is full of lecheries and iniquity.

SONG.

• Fellowship.

Mrs. Anne Page. A noise of Munting is made with in. All the fairies run away. Falstaff pulls of his Buck's Head and rises.

Enter PAGE, FORD, Mrs. PAGE, and Mrs. FORD. They lay hold on him.

Page. Nay, do not fly: I think, we have watch'd you now:

Will none but Herne the hunter serve your turn! Mrs. Page. I pray you come; hold up the jest no higher

Now, good Sir John, how like you Windsor wives! See you these, husband? Do not these fair yokes Become the forest better than the town?

Ford. Now, Sir, who's a cuckold now ?-Master Brook, Falstaff's a knave, a cuckoldly knave! Here are his horns, master Brook: and, master Brook, he hath enjoy'd nothing of Ford's but his ouck-basket, his cudgel, and twenty pounds of money; which must be paid to master Brook; his horses are arrested for it, master Brook.

Mrs. Ford. Sir John, we have had ill luck; we could never meet. I will never take you for my love again, but I will always count you my deer. Fal. I do begin to perceive, that I am made an

ass.

Ford. Ay, and an ox too; both the proofs are extant.

Fal. And these are not fairies? I was three or four times in the thought, they were not fairies; and yet the guiltiness of my mind, the sudden surprise of my powers, drove the grossness of the foppery into a received belief, in despite of the teeth of all rhyme and reason, that they were fairies. See now, how wit may be made a Jack-a-lent, when 'tis upon ill employment!

Eva. Sir John Falstaff, serve Got, and leave your desires, and fairies will not pinse you.

Ford. Well said, fairy Hugh.

Eva. And leave you your jealousies too, I pray

you.

Ford. I will never mistrust my wife again, till thou art able to woo her in good English.

Fal. Have I laid my brain in the sun, and dried it, that it wants matter to prevent so gross o'erreaching as this? Am I ridden with a Welch goat too? Shall I have a coxcomb of frize +? 'Tis time I were choked with a piece of toasted cheese.

Eva. Seese is not good to give putter; your pelly is all putter.

Fal. Seese and putter! Have I lived to stand at the taunt of one that makes fritters of English? This is enough to be the decay of lust and latewalking, through the realm.

Mrs. Page. Why, Sir John, do you think, though we would have thrust virtue out of our hearts by the head and shoulders, and have given ourselves without scruple to hell, that ever the devil could have made you our delight?

Ford. What a hodge-pudding? A bag of flax?
Mrs. Page. A puff'd man?

Page. Old, cold, wither'd, and of intolerable entrails?

Ford. And one that is as slanderous as Satan?
Page. And as poor as Job?

Ford. And as wicked as his wife?

Eva. And given to fornications, and to taverns, and sack, and wine, and metheglins, and to drinkings, and swearings, and starings, pribbles and prabbles?

Fal. Well, I am your theme; you have the start of me; I am dejected; I am not able to answer the Welch flannel; ignorance itself is a plummet o'er me: use me as you will.

Ford. Marry, Sir, we'll bring you to Windsor, to one master Brook, that you have cozen'd of money, to whom you should have been a pander: over and above that you have suffer'd, I think, to repay that money will be a biting affliction.

Mrs. Ford. Nay, husband, let that go to make amends:

Forgive that sum, and so we'll all be friends.

Ford. Well here's my hand; all's forgiven at last.

Page. Yet be cheerful, knight: thou shalt eat a posset to-night at my house where I will desire thee to laugh at my wife, that now laughs at thee: tell her, master Slender hath married her daugh ter.

Horns which Falstaff had.
A foolscap of Welch materials.

SCENE 1.-An Apartment in the DUKI's Palace.

Enter DUKE, CURIO, LORDS; Musicians
attending.

Duke. If music be the food of love, play on,
Give me excess of it; that, surfeiting,
The appetite may sicken, and so die.-
That strain again:-It had a dying fall;
O, it came o'er my ear like the sweet south,
That breathes upon a bank of violets,
Stealing, and giving odour.-Enough; no more;
'Tis not so sweet now, as it was before.
O spirit of love, how quick and fresh art thou!
That, notwithstanding thy capacity
Receiveth as the sea, nought enters there,
Of what validity and pitch soever,
But falls into abatement and low price,

Even in a minute! So full of shapes is fancy,
That it alone is high fantastical +.

Cur. Will you go hunt, my lord?
Duke. What, Curio?

Cur. The hart.

Duke. Why, so I do, the noblest that I have: O, when mine eyes did see Olivia first, Methought, she purged the air of pestilence; That instant was I turn'd into a hart; And my desires, like fell and cruel hounds, E'er since pursue me.-How now? What news from her?

Enter VALENTINE.

Val. So please my lord, I might not be admitted, But from her handmaid do return this answer; The element itself, till seven years heat, Shall not behold her face at ample view: But, like a cloistress, she will veiled walk, And water once a day her chamber round With eye-offending brine: all this, to season A brother's dead love, which she would keep fresh, And lasting, in her sad remembrance.

Duke. O, she that hath a heart of that fine frame, To pay this debt of love but to a brother, How will she love, when the rich golden shaft, Hath kill'd the flock of all affections else That live in her! When liver, brain, and heart, These sovereign thrones, are all supplied, and fill'd, (Her sweet perfections,) with one self king!• Value.

+ Fantastical to the height.

Heated.

Away before me to sweet beds of flowers: Love-thoughts lie rich,when canopied with bowers. [Exeunt.

SCENE II.-The Sea-coast.

Enter VIOLA, CAPTAIN, and SAILORS.

Vio. What country, friends, is this?
Cap. Illyria, lady.

[sailors?

Vio. And what should I do in Illyria? My brother he is in Elysium. Perchance, he is not drown'd:-What think you, Cap. It is perchance,that you yourself were saved. Vio. O, my poor brother! And so, perchance, may

he be.

Cap. True, madam: and, to comfort you with chance,

Assure yourself, after our ship did split,
When you, and that poor number saved with you,
Hung on our driving boat, I saw your brother'
Most provident in peril, bind himself

(Courage and hope both teaching him the practice)
To a strong mast, that lived upon the sea;
Where, like Arion on the dolphin's back,

I saw him hold acquaintance with the waves,
So long as I could see.

Vio. For saying so, there's gold;
Mine own escape unfoldeth to my hope,
Whereto thy speech serves for authority,
The like of him. Know'st thou this country?

Cap. Ay, madam, well: for I was bred and born,
Not three hours travel from this very place.
Vio. Who governs here?

Cap. A noble duke in nature, as in his name.
Vio. What is his name?