Irish Viceregal dinner, a formal affair, in which etiquettes supplied the place of hospitality, and Attorney-Generals, and Court-Chaplains, are reckoned for gentlemen with other-Curiosities too numerous to mention; all for sale without reserve-A portrait of the ViceChancellor, as a New-market jockey at full speed-The Master of the Rolls lying on his back, and making his bread fast asleep-A dinner at Brookes' a close representation of the-Beggars' Opera, a mischievous display of impudence, insolence, and roguery, triumphant-Law, a name perfectly unsuited to the authors of Marriage Acts, and similar anomalies of the humanCalves head hashes, they are carried about on-Two legs and upright, a preposterous contradiction of the law of nature, which ordained that all the species should run on four paws at Madame Catalani, more tempting than ever, fat, fair, and forty; her countenance noble, her voice delicious as the pipe of Charles Wynne, turning tail on the Opposition, for the good of Himself and Family, just arrived in Downing Street, after a long tour onWelsh goats followed by a mob with leeks in their hats, and their hands full of-India bonds never fallen so low before in-Whitehall market—a show of decidedly the best fed carcases ever— Killed by Napoleon in his numerous battles with the-Cabinet Council, distracted by-Variety of foreign tunesSpanish marches-Turkish retreatsRussian storm-hymns-French and German snuffs--confounded things that make an honest man's head ache, -Give me Irish Blackguard, alias Prince's Mixture, sprinkled over with a little-Harvey sauce, and be hanged to it-Essence of fungus and earthworms, duckweed and dandelions, pestilent as a Speech of the Newcastle Patriot, a compound of radical-Gin and ditch-water, drinkable by none but Cyprians of the lowest brutality, as besotted and riotous as-the HattonGarden Orator, or the--Reverend William Bengo Collyer, the Duke of Sussex's chaplain, Trio juncta in uno.-Puffing, piety, and pharmacy --Impossible-Calumny," &c. &c. After dinner, went to the theatrenot a place to be had-a discovery which I made only after seeing the box-keeper. Had the pleasure of observing the three first acts through a chink in the door.-The lobby, round and behind me, promenaded as lobbies usually are-An incessant chatter of puppies and their chere amies-talking on the silliest possible subjects, in the silliest possible way-The Decens Venus, the only absentee of the familyThe door burst back, to let out a fainting lady, followed by a stream of heated, feverish, human vapour, deadly as the Simoom. A battle to succeed to her placemy efforts crowned by conquest, and the loss of half my coat-Fairly seated -Black-hole of Calcutta-play, Macbeth, Frenchified by Ducis, and played, comme il plaisait a la ViergeHerod out-heroded-Macbeth murdered as thoroughly and as early as Duncan-Banquo doubling the old king; and Lady Macbeth bewitching us as Hecate.-Song, scenery, and acting, worthy of each other, and of an English barn-the company a pendant to the Malefactors of Sadler's Wells and the Surrey theatre. Hurried out before the catastrophe.-Resolved never to repeat the experiment, quamdiu vixere, &c. Saturday. Startled by the roar of cannon-another fete, the St. Louisthe whole population in a bustle, singing, scampering, and screaming. Drums in every quarter rattling to the parade in the market-place-under my window too-in the proportion of four drums to three men--the batterie incessant and intolerable-Closed up my casements-hung towels and tablecloths against every aperture-All in vain-unluckily my ears still unplugged--no cotton.— The air ringing with a new thunder of horse-volunteers, gensdarmes, civic authorities, &c., trumpetted, drummed, and belled, to High Mass---Discharge of cannon---merciless shouts of fellows with the lungs of buffaloes in full roar. --Resolved on instant escape, and went to obtain my passport.-Every soul abroad--the office closed. Induced in an evil hour to take a ticket for the ball, under pompous promises that it was to be the ne plus ultra of taste, novelty, and magnificence, tout a fait Francais, &c. Considered my ways and means for killing the intermediate time.-Had the choice of the French Calendar, or a promenade on the pier-variety of wretchedness-Went to the pier-assailed by harbour-smells of every formidable kind-a compound of tar, smoke, dead dogs, and fish-womenthe tide coming in, and duly returning the ejections of the town to the shore. Lingered on the pier-exacerbated by the infinite vapidity of the gabble called conversation round me-Weather talk--the history of last night's rubber-history of the morning-bathe -mutual and solemn assurances, fortified by an appeal to the bystanders, that the tide was coming in, &c.Every soul round me English-faces whose familiarity haunted me-yet whom I could not possibly have seen anywhere but behind band-boxes and counters the Eastern sperme of La nation botiquiere. To get rid of them and ennui, walked to the waterside, with a faint determination to bathe, for the first time. The wind coming at intervals in hot gusts, the water looking surly, and gathering in short angry waves.--Put down my name as a candidate for a bathing-machine-the fiftieth in suc cession! Lingered about the shore-gazing like a philosopher on fragments of seaweed, making matter of contemplation out of an untenanted oyster-shell, and diligently inspecting the washing of a poodle by a chambermaid, &c. Tired of waiting for the machine, which had a dozen cargoes of girls, matrons, and elderly gentlemen, drawn up rank and file beside it, waiting for the ablution, or the drowning of the groups stowed within,-tore off my clothes in a fit of desperation, and rushed in "naked, to every blast of scowl ing Heaven."-Met by a surge ten feet in advance of the rest, that seemed expressly delegated to carry me out to sea. My resolution greatly shocked by this unexpected attention;-pondered a minute or two, half way, immersed like a mermaid-but "returning were as tedious as go on."-Saw the eyes of the whole beach upon me—and rushed "en avant." A rolling sea-the sky suddenly as black as my hat.-Looked to the shore men, women, children, and machines, in fuil gallop to shelter-Tide coming in like a mill race-lifted off my feet--swimming for my lifeThoughts of conger eels a hundred feet long, swordfish, sharks, &c.-A porpoise lifted up his fishy face at my elbow- Roaring surge-My will unmade Thought of a Coroner's inquestClarence's dream, &c. Tost on the shore on the back of a mountain of water-bruised, battered, and half-suffocated---not a soul within hail---A remote view of a few stragglers that looked like pilots speculating upon a wreck---The sea following from rock to rock, saunch as a bloodhound. Searching for my clothes-my whole wardrobe hopelessly missing---Probably stolen--Pondering on the pleasant contingency of making my entry into the town like a negro, or a plucked fowl-Tide rushing on, with a hideously desolate howl of the wind--Rocks slippery, the higher the ascent, scarped and perpendicular as a wall. A gleam of joy at seeing my coat scooped out of the crevice of the rock where I had left it, as I ignorantly thought, above the reach of ocean, and sailing towards me---Grasped it like an old friend---flung it over my shoulders, and made my escape---My breeches, shoes, watch, and purse, of course, left to be fished for on the fall of the tide. Rapid movement towards home---in the midst of the titter of girls, and the execration of matrons, and other "Dii majorum gentium," vehement against what they looked on as my voluntary exposure. As I passed the principal hotel, betted on by a knot of picktooth puppies, who would have it that I was walking for a wager.--The way through the market-place consequently cleared for me--and I the universal object of ridicule, surprise, and reprobation, till I rushed within the door of my lodging. Wearied to death--sick-dirty, and disheartened, flung myself into my bed, and rehearsed in my sleep the whole spectacle of the day. Roused by the landlady, who had found my ticket for the ball on my table.---Informed that it was midnight, and that I had no time to lose---Angry at being disturbed---yet afraid to undergo the work of my sleep again--pondered---cast my eyes on a new suit sent home that evening by the "Taileur plus magnifique," of the world and Dieppe.---Ought to go to the ball,---it was the first and last opportunity of seeing the true glory of France.---Ought to go to sleep--tired,feverish,and spiritless. ---Ought to go to the ball to revive my spirits, and show the fools and puppies of the place, that I was neither mad nor merry in my morning's promenade.-Sprang out of bed. At the ball-room door, met half the company coming out---Had to force the breach through a host of insolents, in the shape of footmen, gensdarmes, police-officers, and mendicants. Breasted my way up stairs through a descending current of bonnetted, shawled, surtouted, swaddled, nondescript figures, that had once been quadrillers, card-players, pretty women, and prettier men. My entrance made good at last, the company reduced to a scattering of a couple of dozens, unhappy relics of the rout, uncouthly toiling down a dance, or loitering along the benches, yawning at each other, in pale despondency; the gentlemen drained to the last civil speech, and the ladies consuming the dregs of the orgeat and lemonade. ---Every soul English, brouzed up in turbans that might have frightened the Grand Turk; bedizened in tawdry costumes, imported along with themselves, and made more burlesque by an attempt to ingraft them with French alterations. The young women universally lath, plaster, and chalk; the old ones London porter, and prize-beef, absolute Bluebeards. Tottered home.---My landlady fast asleep and defying all the usual expedients of breaking a pane in her bedchamber-tearing out her bell by the roots-Hallooing till I was hoarse--Every soul in the street poking their night-caps out of the windows, and reviling the coquin Anglais---Landlady still unshaken. Taken up by the gendsarmes for disturbing the neighbourhood, amid surrounding cries of "Eh, ah! Bah,hah!” "Sacre!" "Bien fait, bonhomme." Au cachot!-A sudden population of thieves and filles de nuit starting, as if out of the ground, to attend me to the door of my new lodging.--Locked into the cachot for the night. Sunday.--IN THE CACHOT.--The sous-prefect having gone to his countryseat-Unspeakable vexation---Thinking of liberty, and England. Monday-The affair explained--Let loose-bounded like a lunatic home-Flung my trunk upon the neck of the first garçon I met, and hurried down to the steam-boat.---Boat to move in a quarter of an hour; felt for my watch-clean gone.-A family-repeater that I would not have lost for the whole bourgeois of Dieppe.---In my vexation, called the town a nest of thieves and knaves. Called on by a Frenchman at my side for an explanation of my words Tried it--He could not comprehend my French-Gallic ass---a mob gathered---Cards given--to meet in half an hour. The steam-boat under way, I remaining to be stabbed or shot---My baggage on board! The challenge getting wind.--Bored with inquiries and observations---how it happened ?---who it was ?---whether on the cliffs or in the coffee-room ?---a promise that whatever might happen, my remains should be taken care of.--Congratulations on the extinction of the Droit d'Aubaine, &c. Went to the ground.---No Frenchman forthcoming---Lingered in the neighbourhood till dinner time. At the tavern, had my cotelette served up by a face that I half recognized my morning challenger--the head waiter!--Saw a sneer on the fellow's countenance, and kicked him into the street-Indignantly left my dinner untouched, and walked down to the pier, to embark immediately. No vessel going off---Lounged about till dusk---hungry and chill---Hired an open boat at ten times the price of the packet. All night at sea-Heavy swell-Not men mutinous, lazy, and despairing.Picked up by a steam-boat going to Dieppe, with a promise of being discharged into the first homeward vessel. knowing where we were---the Azores, the Bay of Biscay, or Brighton ---In distress-Sick to death--The MOUNTAIN SONG. From the German of Schiller-By GEORGE OLAUS BORROW. That pathway before ye, so narrow and gray, And threaten death to the unheeding: Be silent and watchful, each step that you take, O that I could fly from each worldly alloy, To finish my days in its circle of joy. 66 Down from a cave four rivers are hurl'd, Each musters its force like a legion; And then they seek all the four parts of the world, All from the cavern are secretly tost, Three pinnacles tower, and enter the blue The queen of the regions sits high on her throne, That she wears on her temples a chrysolite crown, The sun on her robes darts his arrows of gold, *The Avalanches, called in the Swiss dialect Lawine, or Lions. [We have read many different relations of the following Tale, but none so pleasant as the one from Esop in Rhyme," a new work by Jefferys Taylor, just published.] THE MILKMAID. A Milkmaid, who poized a full pail on her head, It will leave me just sixty sound eggs to be hatched. This moral, I think, may be safely attached; NEW-YEAR'S DAY. The Civil Day, or that by which the affairs of life are guided, commences at different periods in various parts of the world, according to the customs or calculations of the inhabitants. Thus the ancient Babylonians, Persians, Syrians, and most of the Eastern nations, began their day at sunrise, while the Athenians, Jews, &c. on the contrary, began theirs at sun-setting, which is continued at the present time in China, Austria, Italy, &c. The ancient Egyptians, Romans, and some others began theirs at midnight, and this custom was followed by the English, Spanish, and Portuguese, who count the hours from midnight to twelve at noon, and then twelve more from noon to midnight. The Astronomical Day commences at noon of the Civil Day, and is reckoned from 1 to 24 hours, without division; this is used by the Arabians. If our earth had but one motion, viz that round its own axis, the day word be only 23 hours 56 minutes, and a few seconds in length; but as it also advances nearly one degree eastward in its orbit for every revolution round its axis, the sun must consequently be at that distance to the westward; and the time from his being on the meridian one day, to his appearance on the same meridian the next, is exactly 24 hours; and this is readily ascertained by observing the fixed stars, for they come to the meridian 3 min. and about 56 sec. earlier every evening. MR. CONWAY. Among the dramatic changes, one gentleman is leaving this country for America, who has not for several seasons occupied that station on our stage which his fine talents so justly entitled him to hold. The absence of Mr. Conway from the London boards is one of the strongest instances we know of the power of malignant criticism and consequent public caprice. Unquestionably one of the ablest and most accomplished performers of the period, we have seen men of half his powers maintaining high places in that course from which he was driven by the most unfair personal and bitter persecution. We trust the transatlantic lovers of the drama will appreciate his merits as they deserve, and treat with the liberality due to him, not only an excellent actor, but a pleasing and honourable member of society, and a man of superior intellectual endowments. CHINESE. We mentioned in a late number of the Literary Gazette, that two young Chinese had been placed at the University of Halle, by the King of Prussia, for the purpose of obtaining the means of scientifically studying the Chinese language. The following are farther particulars respecting the interesting individuals in question. One of them As-Sing, who is thirty years of age, was born at Heong-San, a short distance from Canton, His father, who was a priest and an astrologer, died before As Sing was five years old. He was brought up by his mother and his uncle, the latter of whom was in the custom-house at Canton. As-Sing having received a careful education, and obtained some notion of the then India, and lastly St. Helena; where English language, he visited first Macao, he was for three years a cook in the house of Napoleon; after whose death he was employed for some time in English vessels, as an interpreter between the English and his countrymen. He went to London, and is five and twenty years of age, and was there met with his countryman Ha-ho, who born in the neighbourhood of Canton; being the son of a silk-merchant. These two young Chinese entered into a treaty with a Dutchman called Lasthausen, by which he was authorized to exhibit them on the Continent for money. It was from that abject state that they were rescued by royal munificence. They begin to stammer out a little German, and are of great use to the young orientalists in the University, who, as well as the Missionaries, attend at the lessons which the two Chinese receive, Professor Gesenius, assisted by two of his under the superintendence of the celebrated pupils. CURE OF RING WORM. SIR, Of those diseases which do not endanger life, nor destroy any part of the animal organization, few are of more importance than that which is well known by the popular appellation of ring-worm of the scalp, the Porrigo scutula of medical writers. This disease which is peculiar to children, has long been a source of terror in schools; having materially injured many respectable seminaries. In families it has remaining, in many instances, for years, been a tedious and very expensive visitor; resisting protracted and painful modes of from desirable places of instruction. treatment, and excluding the little sufferers Dr. Bateman declares it to be a very unmanageable disease, and many members of the medical profession coincide with the doctor in that opinion. Viewed in this light, it is most certainly an affection of importance, and an efficacious remedy is worthy the attention of the public. Fifdiscase, the writer considers to be a sufiiteen years of successful practice in this cient authority for the assertions he may make respecting its cure. A malady so well known does not require a tedious definition in this place; it may, however, be proper to state, that in its progress two states or stages are distinguishable; the first may be called the irritable, the second the indolent, stage; to this latter the plan about to be proposed is particularly applicable. In those cases which have resisted the ordinary means, which are of long standing and obstinate, the following treatment has been very effi cacious :-The head should be frequently shaved, and kept covered with an oiled-silk cap, or instead of which a thin blatider has sometimes been used. An ointment should |