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In short, 'twas his fate, unemploy'd, or in
place, sir, To eat mutton cold, and cut blocks with a razor. Here lies honest William whose heart was
a mint, While the owner ne'er knew half the good that
was in't; The pupil of impulse, it forc'd him along, His conduct still right, with his argument wrong ; Still aiming at honour, yet fearing to roam, The coachman was tipsy, the chariot drove
home. Would you ask for his merits? alas ! he had
none; What was good was spontaneous, his faults were
his own. Here lies honest Richard, whose fate I must
sigh at; Alas, that such frolic should now be so quiet! What spirits were his! what wit and what whim! Now breaking a jest, and now breaking a limb t; Now wrangling and grumbling to keep up the
ball; Now teazing and vexing, yet laughing at all.
* Vide page 59.
+ Mr. Richard Burke ; vide page 59. tleman having slightly fractured one of his arms and legs, at different times, the doctor had rallied him on those accidents, as a kind of retributive justice for breaking his jests upon other people.
In short, so provoking a devil was Dick,
But, missing his mirth and agreeable vein,
Here Cumberland * lies, having acted his parts,
Here Douglas f retires from his toils to relax, The scourge of impostors, the terror of quacks; Come, all ye quack bards, and ye quacking
divines, Come, and dance on the spot where your tyrant
Vide page 60.
When satire and censure encircled his throne,
* The Rev. Dr. Dodd.
| Dr. Kenrick, who read Lectures at the Devil Tavern, under the title of The School of Shakspeare.'
| James Macpherson, Esq., who lately, from the mere force of his style, wrote down the first poet of all antiquity.
$ Vide page 61.
Like an ill-judged beauty, his colours he spread, And beplaster'd with rouge his own natural
red. On the stage he was natural, simple, affecting ; 'Twas only that, when he was off, he was acting. With no reason on earth to go out of his way, He turn'd and he varied full ten times a day; Though secure of our hearts, yet confoundedly
sick If they were not his own by finessing and trick : He cast off his friends as a huntsman his pack; For he knew, when he pleas’d, he could whistle
them back. Of praise a mere glutton, he swallowed what
came, And the puff of a dunce he mistook it for fame; 'Till, his relish grown callous, almost to disease, Who pepper'd the highest was surest to please. But let us be candid, and speak out our mind; If dunces applauded, he paid them in kind. Ye Kenricks *, ye Kellyst, and Woodfalls I so
grave, What a commerce was yours, while you got and
* Vide page 64.
† Mr.Hugh Kelly, author of False Delicacy, Word to the Wise, Clementina, School for Wives, &c. &c.
I Mr. W. Woodfall, printer of the Morning Chronicle.
How did Grub-street re-echo the shouts that
While he was be-Roscius'd, and you were be
prais'd! But peace to his spirit, wherever it flies, To act as an angel and mix with the skies : Those poets who owe their best fame to his
skill, Shall still be his flatterers, go where he will ; Old Shakspeare receive him with praise and
with love, And Beaumonts and Bens be his Kellys * above. Here Hickey f reclines, a most blunt, plea
sant creature, And slander itself must allow him good-nature; He cherish'd his friend, and he relish'd a bumper, Yet one fault he had, and that one was a
thumper. Perhaps you may ask if the man was a miser : I answer, No, no, for he always was wiser. Too courteous, perhaps, or obligingly flat ? His very worst foe can't accuse him of that. Perhaps he confided in men as they go, And so was too foolishly honest ?
Ah, no! Then what was his failing? come tell it, and
He was, could he help it ? a special attorney.
* Vide page 65.
+ Vide page 60.