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countless vagaries, and then have done. Because hard drinking was the perverse fashion when he was young, Crinkum restricted himself to “ moderation,” as he called it-for the word “ temperance,” as a monopoly of expression for self-denial in only one kind of vianding, was then unusual. His virtuous scorn of the " animals," was, at that time of life, very loudly cxpressed. Yet he lived to beco a two-bottle man, often ; and, now and then, ventured on three-professing, the next morning, in spite of sickness: and tormenting head-ache, the utmost contempt for “these new.. fangled creatures,” the Teetotallers ! Two years before his death, he, nevertheless, fulfilled a prophecy of Master Solomon Soundcap, which astounded the village when they first heard it,—and became. a Teetotaller himself.
I have no faith in any man who takes the total-abstinence pledge and then breaks it, was Crinkum Crankum's charitable observation, at the expiry of one year's water-discipleship ;-and the next evening Crinkum Crankum “ took a little wine for his stomach's sake!” Indeed, it was on this occasion, only, in the remembrance of Master Solomon Soundcap, tliat Crinkum vouchsafed to give a reason for his change of practice.
“ And so you have given up the Total Abstinence principles, I learn, friend Crinkum ? ” said the apotlıecary, as he was mixing the quaking veteran of change and positivity a salutary phial of quinine and other tonics.
“Well ? ” retorted Crinkum, with a frown, “and if I have ?
you think I am such a goose as to stick by a custom when I find it injures my health ? dear, no,
exclaimed master Solomon, fairly taken by surprise at hearing Crinkum Crankum condescend to give a common-. sense reason for a change of sentiment or conduct.
“ Then don't bother me about it,” continued Crinkum ; “I tell. you I have a will of my own, and
But Crinkum Crankum, for very shame, and in dread that he would hear Master Solomon's most unwelcome chorus to the old burthen, once more repeated,—here stopped short, and asked what he had to pay for the phial of medicine.
That was the last time he visited the apothecary, though it was not the last time the apothecary visited him. Master Solomon was wont to say, after Crinkum’s death, that the ruling passion was strong within him, even in articulo mortis ; for that he appealed to him, Master Solomon the apothecary, very carnestly, as ho
NO. XIX.-VOL. IV.
pourve out the la-t drawerhit of cordial, whether he hail not “always had it will of his own, in colles traightforwarid? llum cranie,
civil I, istior sume minutes' silence, when the apothecary made this relation ; "how trango--that the most changeable and cont icon-lt of mortals should be the most intolerant:
. III his weaknesses and colors were traceable to one cause,' replied my venerabile friend ; .. lad mini lumeal to reflect. An, young man,“ incelend the olel mall, with it sinniticant look, the ('rinkimme ille by no mina (ulinet : they are family:"
RESEARCHES IN BELiRNl11;
TITE WORKS IN! TOVERS OF THE WEST.
Lunel. Tu Vlis R1-111.1. DE REST FRIENT),
That we have been condid, itirates our own sinplicity! I'nfortunate in the formula mind let the latitudinarian followers of Voltaire, Jl::lılık-, it!:01... other motrices of pertidious Apstary paradoxity truth is try will, which is incapable of trut. Mati-tied of our la prvill, we believe in that of others. P--- juns me in hinding this to have discovered Lady Ilighborough is molle the covert followers of Rome, constitutes but a light ab. Eyplaineal is now lier frivolity; —lier heartlessness to her depend:111, the startling licence of her household, -the gratuitous in-ult to two umotlending followers of * * * * * * * We are both now convinced that the note transcribed in my last, was penned under the influence of Mr. Siblett; who has been seen by Mrs. Perker from the window, walking along the street. Ilis dress, Mrs. Pecker savs, was Priesteraft personified : the waistcoat buttoned across, like Mr. Podd's. Does he ever think of his old friends, vou ask? Yo ;-l'opish domination, tending to seclude even the English clergy in celibacy, precludes the bare dream of every tender tie. Our angelic P --, I suspect, feels his defection more than she cares to own.
But quit we Babylon for Belgravia, and - let Time," as the poet says, elucidate what I'rophecy is unable to fathom.' We have not loosed our sandals for the last two days : we have devoted
ourselves to Royalty : having undertaken, for the satisfaction of our Tinglebury friends, to ascertain the exact truth as regards the state of mind and domestic habits of the Ruler of our favoured clime. To you at Wailford, we may say likewise ;-Rely upon nothing you read in the Newspapers. Ğarbled views of life are all that you will derive from that organ. Three separate annunciations of our arrival have been forwarded to each, in Mr. Pecker's beautiful writing, but by none been printed !!! This, too, one of us ascribes to Mr. Niblett : for who shall put bounds to the suppressiveness of Jesuitical activity ?—Therefore, you may repose indiscriminate confidence in the following particulars : the derivation of which, we are bound to observe with secrecy. Unlike Actæon, we will not whisper our source to the reeds.
The humanity of our most royal Sovereign, is, perhaps, her most unfeigned characteristic. Her Ladies bask only in her smiles : Her consort salutes her with the most charming freedom. We have reason to be assured (and are anxious to spread the joyful tidings through parts of Tinglebury where the noxious miasma of Dissent stalks like a mocking minister of Lucifer) that in her opinions she is SAFE. They are ours. A letter to The Pope, written in her own hand (II. M. always secretarizing for herself), is said to be a master-piece. P-- is laying a thousand plans for the procuration of a copy.
The audacious temerity, even, of a request directly penned by this simple quill, has been strongly pressed upon me. But what am I ? We are aware, however, that II. M. has lier eyes on Tinglebury. Mr. Pecker's speeches at the Anti-Cheap Food Association have sunk deep. For the fabrication is a monstrous one, which asserts that our upright Monarch sympathizes with the atrocious measures which are about to convert landed-proprietors into wanderers over the countenance of the Earth ; and their lawns and conservatories into howling wildernesses. The names of Cobden, Villiers, excite paroxysms of distress.
II. M. may be constrained : but will not flinch. The author of “Sybil ” (whose carly work, “ Violet," was so long affiliated to Lord Brougham) has been admitted to frequent consultations. Lord George is to be Master of the Horse, when Protection triumphs over dissolute innovations. Mr. Pecker says I am exceeding in this intelligence : but as it is down, it
The brilliant novelist above adverted to, is to be Minister of Public Instruction. Do not be surprised, if you hear of an Inspection of our Schools at Tinglebury from the highest quarters. P has done her part : and prepared a hymn for the flattering
occasion, which if suny mexpectedly will produce a pleasing effect,
hier mind at an infantile erit. A luck wil: the first royal plaything. WIrs. l'acker on being di-turbed late in the night, not long since, by sundry shrill and mysterioll nurs—is informed by Bridget (wluence derived I cannot iuthenticate that these are the natutinal cawings of the rare collection of towl who harbour in the gardens and round the water, of her Majesty's Belgravian Tempe. One note was new to her. She al-severates it to have resembled a salutation between lips, and at no remote di-tance. But biruls, as Jlr. Jessamine's " Inecdotes of Billed Intelligence" will have acquainted you, emit peculiarly piercing and stranye calls, when day is breaking: and this may have been merely the snapping of the mandibles of the greater Suquehanna (ioose, some years ago presented by the Zoological Society tu Prince Albert : the nonproduction of whose progeny has been so serious a disappointment to ornithological expectation in the highest quarters. And having explored the garluns, and prerisce how they swarm with the feathered tribe-aware, too, of dear Mrs. lecker's involuntary desire to magnify simple occurrences, when fear prompts,—1 see no reason to gainsay Brilget's natural solution. This may be valuable as a fact to the ovarian collections of your good Nr. Crow—which already number my por testimonies on many subjects.
The Royal infants are largely indul red with living treasures. The Rabbits of the lleir Apparent have a structure apart ; designed by no less a person than one it would be indiscreet to
Two were given-among other presents, to the (jibbeway Indians—as likely to foster the sentiment of filial dependence. That the rare monkeys from the lIooghly, which were presented to II. M. by the Belgravian gentlemen of high distinction who found coal for the Emperor of llyperborean regions, may feel at home-a fire is maintained in the apartment of one of the Ladies in Waiting day and night ;—that the precious deposit may not suffer by change of temperature. You have read miserable tales of Royal parsimony—of pictures insufficiently rewarded, and musicians withlield refreshments. Mention the coals devoted to these simple animals, to all who repeat the venom! The fact is so : How honourable to cxalted humanity, we, at least, know. P. heard it with tears in her eyes :—The picture of the Duchess of
tending this exotic charge, is a chef d'eurre of its aca
demical master. It will be engraved by Moon's burin. Mr. Pecker proposes it by way of study for such of the sex as indulge in the graceful tasks of the needle and Berlin wool. When Popish saints and Pagan warriors occupy the figures of Christian gentlewomen-surely such a suggestion is not one of Utopian invention ! But I need not dilate upon the union of utility with suavity distinguishing all our valuable relative's motions.
What a treat to have visited the garden Pavilion !-where the pleasures of the Dairy, prepared by the neat hands of the royal Phyllis, offer a relaxation from the cares of state—and are surrounded by all the luxurious tribute of modern sculpture and painting. So, the Medicean family, in their halls of terra-cotta and alabaster, fostered the genius of Giorgione and Rosa.
This exquisite nook is worthy of a country's palace. Built in the Elizabethan style-one chamber decorated with the severities of Pompeian art --another plaided with the characteristics of the “ North Countrie” -the “land of the mountain and the flood,” (the spirit of Scott being rendered everywhere, by the scrutinising pencil of H. B.) the central hall devoted to the witcheries of Comus-in whichi Maclise plays a distinguished part, and Landseer
Glows like a summer from the mirror'd walls, -there is, in all this, a variety, an excursiveness-a chef-d'oeuvreisha intellectuality (to quote the Hon. Mrs. Gore) which speak trumpettongued for the tastes of the distinguished pair ; and excite proud British hope to anticipate glowingly the decoration of the New Tlouses of Parliament. Mr. Pecker exclaimed, on entering, “ Here is solid progress! Ten years hence, a journey to Italy, in quest of artistic culture, will be rendered futile.” Happy England ! when the deleterious South is no longer a place of pilgrimage to thy .sons and daughters !
You are wondering, I doubt not, why, ere this I have not chronicled Mr. Pecker's visit to the Collectress, whose invitation I transcribed in my last. My dear friend, -not mine to sully a Christian page with adverting to the devices with which a female, when she has “stooped to folly,” attempts to extend her society. Resolute to uphold the purity without which
6 the shiver'd vase
Of its most secret heart,”— not mine be it to dwell upon the horror of our relative on discorering, in his correspondent, one of those fascinating children of