Under his pillow he had placed with care. Sans ceremonie soon the rats all ran,

And on the flour-sacks greedily began;

At which they gorged themselves; then smelling round,

Under the pillow soon the cheese they found,
And while at this they all regaling sat,

Their happy jaws disturbed the Frenchman's nap;
Who, half awake, cries out, "Hallo! hallo!

Vat is dat nibble at my pillow so?
Ah! 'tis one big-one very big, huge rat!
Vat is it that he nibble, nibble at?"

In vain our little hero sought repose;
Sometimes the vermin galloped o'er his nose;
And such the pranks they kept up all the night,
Then he, on end-antipodes upright
Brawling aloud, called stoutly for a light.
"Hallo! Maison! Garcon, I say!

Bring me the bill for what I have to pay!"
The bill was brought, and to his great surprise,

Ten shillings was the charge: he scarce believed his eyes.

With eager haste, he quickly runs it o'er,

And every time he viewed it thought it more.
"Vy, zounds and zounds!" he cries, "I sall no pay;
Vat! charge ten shelangs for what I have mange?
A leetle sop of porter, dis vile bed,

Vare all de rats do run about my head?"
"Plague on those rats!" the landlord muttered out;
"I wish, upon my word, that I could make 'em

scout:

I'll pay him well that can." "Vat's dat you say?" "I'll pay him well that can." "Attend to me, I

pray:

Vill you dis charge forego, vat I am at,

If from your house I drive away de rat?"
"With all my heart," the jolly host replies.
"Ecoutez, donc ami," the Frenchman cries.
"First den-Regardez, if you please,
Bring to dis spot a leetle bread and cheese:
Eh bien! a pot of porter, too;

And den invite de rats to sup vid you:

And after dat-no matter dey be villing

For vat dey eat, you charge dem just ten shelang:
And I am sure, ven dey behold de score,
Dey'll quit your house, and never come no more."
-Anonymous.

'HERE went three kings into the East,

T1

Three kings both great and high, And they hae sworn a solemn oath

John Barleycorn should die.

They took a plow and plowed him down,
Put clods upon his head,

And they hae sworn a solemn oath,
John Barleycorn was dead.

But the cheerful spring came kindly on,
And showers began to fall;

John Barleycorn got up again,
And sore surprised them all.

The sultry suns of summer came,

And he grew thick and strong,

His head well armed wi' pointed spears,
That no one should him wrong.
The sober autumn entered mild,
When he grew wan and pale;

His bending joints and drooping head
Showed he began to fail.

His color sickened more and more,

He faded into age;

And then his enemies began

To show their deadly rage.

They've ta'en a weapon long and sharp, And cut him by the knee;

And tied him fast upon the cart,

Like a rogue for forgerie.

They laid him down upon his back,
And cudgeled him full sore;
They hung him up before the storm,
And turned him o'er and o'er.
They filled up a darksome pit
With water to the brim,
Then heaved in John Barleycorn,
To let him sink or swim.

They laid him out upon the floor,
To work him further woe,
And still, as signs of life appeared,
They tossed him to and fro.

I

Truthful James:

I am not up to small deceit, or any sinful games; And I'll tell in simple language what I know about the row

That broke up our society upon the Stanislow.

But first I would remark, that 'tis not a proper plan
For any scientific gent to whale his fellow man;

And, if a member don't agree with his peculiar whim, To lay for that same member for to "put a head on him!"

Now, nothing could be finer, or more beautiful to see, Than the first six months' proceedings of that same society;

Till Brown of Calaveras brought a lot of fossil bones That he found within a tunnel near the tenement of Jones.

Then Brown he read a paper, and he reconstructed there,

From those same bones, an animal, that was extremely rare;

And Jones then asked the Chair for a suspension of the rules,

Till he could prove that those same bones was one of his lost mules.

Then Brown he smiled a bitter smile, and said he was at fault; [vault;

It seemed he had been trespassing on Jones' family

He was a most sarcastic man, this quiet Mr. Brown, And on several occasions he had cleaned out the town.

Now I hold it is not decent for a scientific gent
To say another is an ass—at least, to all intent;
Nor should the individual who happens to be meant
Reply by heaving rocks at him, to any great extent.
Then Abner Dean of Angel's raised a point of order,
when

A chunk of old red sandstone took him in the abdomen;
And he smiled a kind of sickly smile, and curled

upon the floor,

And the subsequent proceedings interested him no

more.

For in less time than I write it, every member did engage

In a warfare with the remnants of a palæozoic age; And the way they heaved those fossils in their anger was a sin,

Till the skull of an old mammoth caved the head of Thompson in.

And this is all I have to say of these improper games, For I live at Table Mountain and my name is Truthful James,

And I've told in simple language what I know about the row

That broke up our society upon the Stanislow.

-Bret Harte.

B

EN BATTLE was a soldier bold,

And used to war's alarms;

But a cannon ball took off his legs,
So he laid down his arms.

Now as they bore him off the field,
Said he, "Let others shoot;
For here I leave my second leg,
And the Forty-second Foot."

The army surgeons made him limbs;
Said he, "They're only pegs;

But there's as wooden members quite, As represent my legs."

Now Ben he loved a pretty maid-
Her name was Nelly Gray;
So he went to pay her his devours,
When he devoured his pay.

But when he called on Nelly Gray;
She made him quite a scoff;
And when she saw his wooden legs.
Began to take them off.

"O Nelly Gray! O Nelly Gray!
Is this your love so warmi
The love that loves a scarlet coat
Should be more uniform."

Thou'rt welcome to the town; but why come here
To bleed a brother poet, gaunt like thee?
Alas! the little blood I have is dear,

And thin will be the banquet drawn for me. Look round-the pale-eyed sisters, in my cell, Thy old acquantance, Song and Famine, dwell. Try some plump alderman; and suck the blood Enriched with generous wine, and costly meat; In well-filled skins, soft as thy native mud,

Fix thy light pump, and raise thy freckled feet. Go to the men for whom, in ocean's halls, The oyster breeds, and the green turtle sprawls. There corks are drawn, and the red vintage flows, To fill the swelling veins for thee; and now The ruddy cheek, and now the ruddier nose, Shall tempt thee as thou flittest round the brow; And when the hour of sleep its quiet brings, No angry hand shall rise to brush thy wings. -William Cullen Bryant,

B

ETWEEN Nose and Eyes a strange contest arose; The spectacles set them, unhappily, wrong; The point in dispute was, as all the world knows, To whom the said spectacles ought to belong. So Tongue was the lawyer, and argued the cause, With a great deal of skill, and wig full of learning, While chief baron Ear sat to balance the laws

So famed for his talent in nicely discerning.

"In behalf of the Nose, it will quickly appear (And your lordship," he said, "will undoubtedly find) That the Nose has the spectacles always to wear,

Which amounts to possession, time out of mind."

Then, holding the spectacles up to the court, "Your lordship observes, they are made with a straddle,

As wide as the ridge of the Nose is; in short, Designed to sit close to it, just like a saddle.

'Again, would your lordship a moment suppose

('T is a case that has happened, and may happen again)

That the visage or countenance had not a Nose,
Pray, who would, or who could, wear spectacles then?
"On the whole, it appears, and my argument shows,
With a reasoning the court will never condemn,
That the spectacles, plainly, were made for the Nose,
And the Nose was as plainly intended for them."
Then shifting his side (as a lawyer knows how),

He pleaded again in behalf of the Eyes;
But what were his arguments, few people know,
For the court did not think them equally wise.
So his lordship decreed, with a grave, solemn tone,
Decisive and clear, without one if or but,
That whenever the Nose put his spectacles on,
By daylight or candlelight-Eyes should be shut.
-William Cowper.

66

"SPE

PEAK, O man, less recent! Fragmentary fossil!
Primal pioneer of pliocene formation,

Hid in lowest drifts below the earlies stratum

Of volcanic tufa!

"Older than the beasts, the oldest Palæotherium;
Older than the trees, the oldest Cryptogamia;
Older than the hills, those infantile eruptions
Of earth's epidermis!