And man, and boy, and pin, and chair
In close communion mingled there.

Only the pin-out of all the four,
Alone no traces of damage bore;

The man was mad and dreadfully sore,

And he lathered that boy behind and before,—
The chair lay smashed upon the floor,

Its seat was not hurt-but the boy's was raw!

THE MISER'S GRAVE.

JAMES HOGG.

I have seen him

Here's a lesson for the earth-born worm,
So deep engraven on the meagre platen
Of human frailty, so debased in hue,
That he who dares peruse it needs must blush
For his own nature. The poor shrivell'd wretch,
For whose lean carcass yawns this hideous pit,
Had nought that he desired in earth or heaven-
No God, no Saviour, but that sordid pelf,
O'er which he starved and gloated.
On the exchange, or in the market-place,
When money was in plenteous circulation,
Gaze after it with such Satanic looks
Of eagerness, that I have wonder'd oft
How he from theft and murder could refrain.
"Twas cowardice alone withheld his hands,
For they would grasp and grapple at the air,
When his grey eye had fixed on heaps of gold,
While his clenched teeth, and grinning, yearning face,
Were dreadful to behold. The merchants oft
Would mark his eye, then start and look again,

As at the eye of basilisk or snake.

His eye of greyish green ne'er shed one ray

Of kind benignity or holy light

On aught beneath the sun. Childhood, youth, beauty,

To it all had one hue. Its rays reverted

Right inward, back upon the greedy heart

On which the gnawing worm of avarice
Preyed without ceasing-straining every sense
To that excruciable and yearning core.

Some thirteen days agone, he comes to me,
And after many sore and mean remarks
On men's rapacity and sordid greed,

He says,
As the world goes.

"Gabriel, thou art an honest man,

How much, then, will you charge

To make a grave for me, fifteen feet deep?" "We'll talk of that when you require it, sir." 66 No, no. I want it made, and paid for too; I'll have it settled, else I know there will Be some unconscionable overcharge

On my poor friends - -a ruinous overcharge!"

'But, sir, were it made now, it would fill up Each winter to the brim, and be to make Twenty or thirty times, if you live long."

"There! There it is! Nothing but imposition! Even time must rear his stern, unyielding front, And holding out his shrivell'd skeleton hand, Demands my money. Nought but money! money! Were I coin'd into money I could not

Half satisfy that craving greed of money.
Well, how much do you charge? I'll pay you now,
And take a bond from you that it be made
When it is needed. Come, calculate with reason—
Work's very cheap; and two good men will make
That grave at two days' work; and I can have
Men at a shilling each-without the meat-
That's a great matter! Let them but to meat,
"Tis utter ruin. I'll give none their meat—
That I'll beware of. Men now-a-days are
Cheap, dog cheap, and beggarly fond of work.
One shilling each a day, without the meat.
Mind that, and ask in reason; for I wish
To have that matter settled to my mind."-
"Sir, there's no man alive will do't so cheap

As I shall do it for the ready cash,"

Says I, to put him from it with a joke.

"I'll charge you, then, one-fourth part of a farthing
For every cubic foot of work I do,

Doubling the charge each foot that I descend."
"Doubling as you descend! Why, that of course.
A quarter of a farthing each square foot-

No meat, remember! Not an inch of meat,
Nor drink, nor dram. You're not to trust to these.
Wilt stand that bargain, Gabriel ?"—"I accept."

He struck it, quite o'erjoyed. We sought the clerk, Sign'd seal'd. He drew his purse. The clerk went on Figuring and figuring. "What a fuss you make! "Tis plain," said he, "the sum is eighteen pence." "Tis somewhat more, sir," said the civil clerkAnd held out the account. "Two hundred pounds, And gallant payment over." The miser's face Assumed the cast of death's worst lineaments. His skinny jaws fell down upon his breast; He tried to speak, but his dried tongue refused Its utterance, and cluck'd upon the gum.

His heart-pipes whistled with a crannell'd sound;

His knell-knees plaited, and every bone

Seem'd out of joint. He raved--he cursed-he weptBut payment he refused. "I have my bond,

Not yet a fortnight old, and shall be paid.”

It broke the miser's heart. He ate no more,

Nor drank, nor spake, but groan'd until he died;
This grave killed him, and now yearns for his bones.
But worse than all, 'tis twenty years and more
Since he brought home his coffin. On that chest
His eye turn'd ever and anon. It minded him,
He said, of death. And as he sat by night
Beside his beamless hearth, with blanket round
His shivering frame, if burst of winter wind
Made the door jangle, or the chimney moan,
Or crannied window whistle, he would start,
And turn his meagre looks upon that chest;
Then sit upon't, and watch till break of day.
Old wives thought him religious-a good man!

A great repentant sinner, who would leave
His countless riches to sustain the poor.
But mark the issue. Yesterday, at noon,
Two men could scarcely move that ponderous chest
To the bedside to lay the body in.

They broke it sundry, and they found it framed
With double bottom! All his worshipp'd gold
Hoarded between the boards! O such a worm
Sure never writhed beneath the dunghill's base!
Fifteen feet under ground! and all his store
Snug in beneath him. Such a heaven was his.

LITTLE JOHNNY ON WOODCHUCKS.

ANON.

Woodchucks is a very curious animal. It is made of hair and eyes and has two front teeth, and can see a man with a gun when the eyes are shut and bolted. I have seen a dog shake a woodchuck till both were black in the face. A woodchuck can snivel up his nose, show his teeth, and look as homely as I can without trying. They sit on one end and eat with the other. A woodchuck can get home faster than a gun can shoot. He is round all over, except his feet which are black. When eat they retain the flavor of their nests and seem to have been cooked without being pared. A fat woodchuck, when eat properly, is no laughin' matter. They come under the head of "domestic animals," and think there ain't no place like home when a dog goes for one of 'em.

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