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“ Be that as it may, it is quite sufficient versation in the same description, which is that I have played the antic myself for the first half of it, at least, the most airy their diversion ; and that, in a state of de- of the two ? They will otherwise think, jection such as they are absolute strangers perhaps, that the observation might as well to, I have sometimes put on an air of cheer- have been spared entirely ; though I should fulness and vivacity, to which I myself am have been sorry if it bad, for when I am in reality a stranger, for the sake of winning jocular I do violence to myself, and am their attention to more useful matter." therefore pleased with your telling them, in
“ By the way--will it not be proper, as a civil way, that I play the fool to amuse you have taken some notice of the modish them, oot because I am one myself, but bedress I wear in Table Talk, to include Con- cause I have a foolish world to deal with."
THE NORTHERN EXPEDITION.
PARISIAN ANECDOTES. The instruments to be used by Capt. Par.
Paris, Jan. 26, 1824. ry on the new Expedition are ordered to be The suite au Memorial de Sainte shipped by the 1st of May ; so that we Heléne, or critical observations and unmay presume it will sail about the middle published anecdotes, designed as a supof that inonth.
plement and a corrective to that work, The following anecdote of the sagaci
has such a run that the second edition ty of an Ass, and the attachment displayed by the animal to its master,
thor preserves the anonyme, it is evimay help in some degree to redeem
dent from his detection of the numerous that ill-used race from a portion of the
errors in M. Las Cases' work, and from load of stupidity which is generally as
the numerous original anecdotes that signed to them, and which, with so ma
he relates, that he must have filled ny other loads, they bear with such ex
some important post near the person
of the Emperor. The impartiality emplary patience. Thomas Brown, residing near Hawick, travels the coum
? with which the facts and reflections are try as a liggler, having an ass the
presented, is as honourable to the wripartner of his trade. From suffering
ter's mind as the composition is to his under a paralytic affection, he is in the
taste-For example: habit of assisting himself on the road by
“Na poleon knew perfectly well the keeping hold of the crupper of the sad. dle, or more frequently the tail of the
character of Josephine-nothing could ass. During a recent severe winter,
equal the grace and affability of that whilst on one of his journeys near Rule
princess. At her court she had the Water, " the old man and his ass” were
habit of speaking to a hundred persuddenly plunged into a wreath of snow.
sons, and always gave an agreeable There they lay long, far from help, and
word to each. She was so generous
that she never knew how to refuse, and ready to perish,at length the poor ass, after a severe struggle, got out, but find
would soon have ruined the treasury, ing his unfortunate master absent, he
had it been at her disposal. Not bav
ing it in her power to give, she was eyed the wreath for some time, with a wistful look, and at last forced his way
profuse in her promises, of which she through it to where his master still lay,
was equally forgetsul, and which she
repeated with equal facility. On one when, placing his body in such a position as to afford a firm grasp of the tail,
occasion there was given a remarkable
i exemplification, of which every one at the honest Higgler was thereby enabled to take his accustomed hold, and was
court was informed but herself. An actually dragged out by the faithful
officer of high rank, who had been ac
quainted with her at Martinique before beast to a place of safety.
her first marriage, and had been intiMr. Prior has in the press, A Memoir of mate with her family, desired, when the Life and Character of the Rt. Hon. Ed. Nonoloon was in his glory to resume mund Burke, with an Estimate of his Ge
Napoleon was in his glory, to resume nius and Talents, compared with those of his military employment, and counted mais great Contemporaries.
on the influence of Josephine for his
He visited her, and was re- «Straws laid across my pace retard;
which always appears sincere, but Country wenches, when they expewhich so often deceives. She expres- rience aoy peculiar difficulty in making sed the warmest interest in his plans, butter, will sometimes drop into the
churn a horse-shoe heated, believing his memorial. The officer did not
the crean to be spell-bound, and that make bis patroness wait long, for the this operation will destroy the charm. next day he returned with the petition, I have read in Glanville, or some such
work, of this experiment being once
had clapped bis bill into the saine diately an old bag, a reputed witch, pocket, and Mr. _ mistaking the who lived close by, shrieked violently, one for the other, most unfortunately and exclaimed that she was scorched. presented the account of Snip to the Upon examining her body, the mark Empress, who received it most grace- of a horse-shoe was found distinctly fully, and, without perusing it, assured branded on her flesh !!! Passing unthe delighted officer that it should be der the arcade of the Royal Exchange immediately presented to the Emperor, a day or two since, I observed a horseand that he might depend on a favoura- shoe nailed to one of the benches beble resolt. Enchanted, the son of Mars longing to the ticket-porters, so that the
arrived, when he discovered his mis- even in London.
CHRONOMETRY. first word she utters, is an assurance Observing upon a notice in the daily that her husband had read his memoir, papers that an American experimentalapd had promised her that her protegé ist, of the name of H. G. Dyar, has sbould be immediately placed. As she 6 invented a clock, the principles and was surrounded by crowds, she turned movements of which are different from to promise and assure others; she was those of chronometers now in use, and thep lost to the officer, and he had not are not to be found in any treatise on any opportunity of saying a word. mechanics extant; that the pendulum Several times he returned and endea- moves in cycloidal arcs, and performs voored to obtain the fatal bill, and re- long and short vibrations in equal time, place it by a courtly memorial, but he while that of our common clocks swings could never succeed. He disappeared in the arc of a circle, and makes unefrom the brilliant circle, told his story qual vibrations in equal time" to his friends, and was the first to laugh 'Messrs. Parkinson and Frodsham at bis own bad luck.”
(to whom science is already largely inHORSE-SHOES.
debted) state to us, that having devoted The custom of nailing horse-shoes much time to the observations on the on the masts of ships, lintels or thresh pendulum, and in endeavouring to reolds of doors, &c. is very ancient, and duce its theory to practice, they have originated in a superstitious belief that at length so far succeeded as to discover no witch can injure the inmates of a a simple contrivance applicable to any house or vessel so protected. Aubrey, description of clock, which will cause the in bis Miscelladies, says, “ It is a thing pendulum to vibrate in cycloidal arcs, very common to pail horse-shoes on the and performs all its vibrations, however thresholds of doors, which is to hinder long or short, in the same time. " It the power of witches that enter into the has now (they add) been for a consihouse. Most houses of the West end derable time suficiently and accurateof London, have the horse-shoe on the ly proved ; and it is our intention to threshold. It should be a horse-shoe submit the discovery to one of our that one finds.” Again, in Gay's fa- learned and scientific Institutions, as ble of the "Old Woman and her we feel assured its simplicity will insure Cats," the supposed witch says: its general adoption in all machines
where the accurate mensuration of time second time, and sunk in a pit at least is required. Our intention in thus ad- three feet deep, in a snug corner of the dressing you, is to preserve to the ar- tulip-bed, it being judiciously considertists of this country the priority of ed that his remains, in their decomtheir claim to the merit of the discov- posed state might add to the freshness ery."
and variety of the colours next year. A Moonlight Apparition. When
One of my school-fellows, as merI was a schoolboy, there dwelt in the
ry a little wag as ever drew breath, neighbourhood a gentleman who had a
lived next door, and was at home for
the holidays. strong touch of the tulipæmania. His
watched all that had passed, he borparterre displayed the gayest specimens, the produce of bulbs imported
rowed a ladder of the glazier over the from Holland, whose illustrious names
way, and, as soon as the families were might have vied with any of those that
retired to rest, scaled the wall, dug up would be found, if one could only get
Grimalkin, and, proceeding to the a sight of it, in the late Sir Joseph
street, planted him erect on the sill of Banks' vocabulary of Butterflies. But
bis neighbour's bed-room window. an evil-minded cat often disturbed
Descending a few steps of the ladder, his tulip-bed, and laid prostrate many
he mewed most piteously. Up started a darling flower of exquisite beauty.
the tulip-fancier, and drawing aside the
curtain, saw with horror and dismay, Early one morning he caught my gentleman in the fact, and, laying violent
by broad moonlight, his old enemy the hands on him, not only broke every
tom-cat, with saucer eyes, staring him bone in his skin, but, as in his wrath
full in the face. ful mood he was led to fancy, beat out It is reported at Brussells, that the Me. his brains. The gardener buried him moirs left by Carnot, embracing the period in a pit a foot deep, carefully treading
ding from 1789 to the second fall of Buonaparte, down the earth. Grimalkin was not be published in London. We do not un
"s after the battle of Waterloo, are likely to so dead, however, but that he was seen derstand, however, that they are yet in the the next morning crawling from his possession of any of our booksellers. hiding-place. He was now slain a
Answered by an Appeal to Morning, Noon, and Night.
I read a record of his love, His health-restoring gale,
This wisdom and his power,
Inscrib'd on all created things,
Man, beast, and berb, and flower. I
The sultry sun has left the skies, An answer meet supplies ;
And day's delights are flown; Writes it in flame upon the earth,
The owlet screams amid the sbade, Proclaims it round the skies.
And Night resumes the throne. The pendant clouds that curtain round
Is there a God? With sacred fear This sublunary ball,
I upward turn mine eyes ; And firmament on higb, reveal
There is! each glittering lamp of lightA God that governs all.
There is! my soul-replies. The warbling lark, in realms of air,
If such convictions to my mind Has thrill'd her matin lay;
His works aloud impart; The balmy breeze of morn is fled,
O let the wisdom of his Word It is the Noon of day..
Inscribe them on my heart: Is there a God? Hark! from on high
That while I ponder on his deeds, His thunder shakes the poles:
And read his truth divine, I hear his voice in every wind,
Nature may point me to a God, In every wave tbat rolls.
and grace may make him mine!
SONNET TO A CLUSTER OF SNOW-DROPS IN FEBRUARY.
FIRST in the virgin coronet of Spring,
Meek modest flowers ! your stainless buds I hail;
Or your light sister Primrose decks the vale
Under this old worn copse, unfenc'd from cold,
Your little trembling bells I pleas'd behold,
Snowdrops ! so fair, so purified, so bland,
Ye seem to have dropp'd from some bright angels' band,
INSCRIPTION FOR PICTON'S CENOTAPH AT WATERLOO.
(Extracted from Blackwood's Magazine.) " Dart .
Where thy pestilential plain, Orbe quictem, seculo pacem suo.
Were piled with proud decayHac summe virtis, petitur hac cælem via."
Uncheck'd by pain, untired by toil, WEEP not, though the bero's sleep
He led the lions to the spoil, On this spot was dark and deep;
Through desert and through flood; And beside him lay
Til, ye eternal Pyrenees ! Hearts that hever felt a fear
Ye heard the thunder on the breeze, la the rushing of the spear,
Whose fearful rain was blood. Silent, glorious clay!
Where the final battle roar'd, What is life, to death like theirs ?
Mightiest harvest of the sword, Heartless wishes,weary years,
Immortal Waterloo ! Follies fond and vaid !
There his banner, like a star, Theirs a gasp of gallant breath
Blazing o'er the clouds of war, On the wave, or on the heath
To death and glory flew. Momeptary pain !
Weep not, though his spirit past Not opon the sick’ning bed
In the spirit's fiery blast;
The living Mind, shall hover o'er
The warriors that be led before, In the triumph, Picton died !
And love and lead them still! The boldest of the bold.
Bold companions of his grave, Where the famine, where the fight;
England's richest wreath shall wave Bloedy day, and deadlier night,
In sorrow o'er your tomb; Ware host by host away ;
And the sad infant on the knee Where thy wild Sierra, Spain,
Shall lisp the dear-bought victory,
(Blackwood's Mag.) PANACEAS FOR POVERTY.
“I like not the humour of bread and cheese.”-Shakspeare.. FROM the days of Job, down- watering-pots in the world. He would
wards, COMFORTERS (to me) have tell those who asked for work, that always seemed to be the most imperti- « idleness was the root of all evil ;' nent set of people upon earth. For prove to people “ that a penny was you may see, nine times in ten, that the seed of a guinea," who were withthey actually gratify themselves in out a farthing in the world ; and argue what they call " consoling” their neigh. all day, with a man who had nothing, bours; and go away in an improved to show that "out of a little, a little satisfaction with their own condition, might be put by.” after philosophizing for an hour and a Fourthly, and in the rear, march half upon the disadvantages of yours. those most provoking fuffians of all,
There are several different families who uphold the prudence of always of these benevolent characters abroad; “ putting the best face” (as they term and each set rubs sore places in a man- it) upon an affair. And these will ner peculiar to itself.
cure your broken leg by setting it off First and foremost, there are those against somebody else's hump back, who go, in detail, through the history and so soundly demonstrate that you of your calamity, showing (as the case have nothing to complain of; or admit, may be) either how completely you perhaps, (for the sake of variety) the have been outwitted, or how exceed- fact that you are naked; and proceed ingly ill or absurdly you have con- to devise stratagems how you shall be ducted yourself—and so leave you with contented to remain so. " their good wishes," and an invita- And it is amazing what a number of tion to come and dine, when your (mad upon that particular point, but troubles are over.”
otherwise) reasonable and respectable Next, there are those, a set, I think, persons, have amused themselves by still more intolerable, who press the proving, that The Poor have an envianecessity of your resolving iminediate- ble condition. The poor “ Poor !” ly upon “ something;" and forth with They seem really to have been set up declare in favour of that particular as a sort of target for ingenuity to try its measure, which, of all the pis allers of hand upon; and, from Papin, the your estate, is the most perfectly de- Bone Digester, down to Cobbett, the testable.
Bone Grubber,-from Wesley, who Thirdly come the whoreson cater- made cheap physic, and added to evepillars," who are what people call ry prescription “a quart of cold wa( well to do” in the world ; and es- ter," to Hunt who sells roasted wheat pecially those who have become so (as (vice coffee) five hundred per cent they believe) by their own good con- above its cost-an absolute arıny of duct. These are very particularly vile projectors and old women haş, from dogs indeed! I recollect one such time to time, been popping at them. (he was an opulent cheese-monger,) High among these philosophers, indeed who had been porter in the same shop I might almost say at the head of them, which he afterwards kept, and had stands the author of a tract called, “A come to town, as he used to boast, Way to save Wealth;" which was without cash enough to buy a night's published (I think) about the year lodging on his arrival.
1840, to show how a man might thrive This man had neither love nor pity upon an allowance of TWOPENCE per for any human being. He met every day. complaint of distress with a history of The observations prefatory to the his own fortunes. No living creature, promulgation of this inestimable seas he took it, could reasonably be poor, cret, are worthy of everybody's that so long as there were birch brooms or is every poor body's attention.