To "hold the mirror up to vice"
With him was hard, alas !

The worse for wine he often was,
But not "before a glass."

No kind and prudent friend had he
To bid him drink no more,-

The only chequers in his course
Were at a tavern door!

Full soon the sad effects of this
His frame began to show,
For that old enemy the gout

Had taken him in toe!

And join'd with this an evil came
Of quite another sort,--
For while he drank, himself, his purse
Was getting "something short."

For want of cash he soon had pawn'd
One half that he possess'd,
And drinking show'd him duplicates
Beforehand of the rest!

So now his creditors resolved

To seize on his assets;

For why, they found that his half-pay Did not half-pay his debts.

But Luff contrived a novel mode

His Creditors to chouse; For his own execution he

Put into his own house!

A pistol to the muzzle charged

He took devoid of fear;

Said he, "This barrel is my last,
So now for my last bier!"

Against his lungs he aimed the slugs,
And not against his brain,
So he blew out his lights—and none
Could blow them in again!
A Jury for a Verdict met

And gave it in these terms:-
"We find as how as certain slugs

Has sent him to the worms !"

LOVE HAS NOT EYES.

Of all the poor old Tobits a-groping in the street,
A Lover is the blindest that ever I did meet,

For he's blind, he's blind, he's very blind,—
He's as blind as any mole!

He thinks his love the fairest that ever yet was clasp'd, Though her clay is overbaked, and it never has been rasp'd. For he's blind, &c.

He thinks her face an angel's, although it's quite a frump's Like a toad a-taking physic, or a monkey in the mumps. For he's blind, &c.

Upon her graceful figure then how he will insist,

Though she's all so much awry, she can only eat a twist!

For he's blind, &c.

VOL. VI.

13

He'll swear that in her dancing she cuts all others out,

Though like a Gal that's galvanised, she throws her legs about. For he's blind, &c.

If he should have a letter in answer to his sighs,
He'll put it to his lips up, instead of to his eyes.
For he's blind, &c.

Then if he has a meeting the question for to put,
In suing for her hand he'll be kneeling at her foot.
For he's blind, &c.

Oh Love is like a furnace wherein a Lover lies,
And like a pig before the fire, he scorches out his eyes.
Till he's blind, &c.

[It must have been somewhere about this time that my father was connected with the stage. That he wrote a Pantomime for Yates, as well as Entertainments for him and Mathews, is placed beyond a doubt by various testimony. First of all there is Mr. Godbee's letter (see "Memorials "), entreating a copy of "Mr. Hood's pantomime of Harlequin Mr. Jenkins." Then there is the fact that the "Comic Melodies" expressly state that they were written for the Entertainments in question. Moreover, I have a letter from Jones to Yates, wherein, after speaking of the stories he has collected for the latter's Entertainment, he adds-" Mr. Hood will be able to work them up."

T. P. Cooke, writing to J. Wright, the engraver, in December, 1834, says-"I wish you would ask Mr. Hood if he has finished a nautical piece he promised for me six years ago! 'twould, I assure you, be very acceptable now."

I possess also a letter from Bannister to Dr. Kitchener, dated in January, 1827, in which he returns the "Whims and Oddities," saying,

"I hope you are not offended at my keeping your book so long. I have been uncommonly entertained with it-indeed it is an uncommon book, full of whim and original humour. Had I any interest in a theatre, I would endeavour to secure such a writer. What a comic opera he would write!. I hope he may write something for the

stage. I am sure he would be successful. I think I could suggest a burlesque which would put together admirably."

I find, too, in my father's autograph book the following two letters from Mr. Mathews.

"MY DEAR SIR,

"Theatre Royal, Covent Garden.

"I will after rehearsal cause the MS. to be searched for, and forward it to you. It may be rather difficult to find in a hurry, but it is safe.

In a later letter I find

"Yours very truly,

"(in haste)

"C. J. MATHEWS."

"Wilson says he knows where Mr. Hood's MS. is, and as soon as the Easter piece is over, will certainly find it. I regret that we have not had a chance of producing it. It is a little too like 'Exchange no Robbery' in plot, but would certainly act funnily."

This farce was after my father's death submitted to Mr. Webster, I believe, and never heard of afterwards. Several friends have tried to trace out these dramatic pieces for me, but have, I am sorry to say, failed.

The only specimen preserved of my father's writings in this line (beside the "Comic Melodies”) is the following; intended probably for a musical piece of the kind in which Hook achieved such a success at sixteen years of age.]

SONG.

Air-"My mother bids me."

My mother bids me spend my smiles
On all who come and call me fair,
As crumbs are thrown upon the tiles,
To all the sparrows of the air.

But I've a darling of my own

For whom I hoard my little stock—

What if I chirp him all alone,

And leave mamma to feed the flock!