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Put a good face on the matter, and derful fine hand, with such flourishes, above all, beware of knitting up that that without taking his pen off the fair brow into anything like a frown, paper, he can represent the figures of as you steal a passing glance at that Adam and Eve, in the involutions comprovoking brother of yours ; it will posing the initial capitals of their only bring down upon you a thicker names! He 18 “ Sir Oracle," and not shower of saucy jests.— See ! see! that the less so, because people do not exc little old man, so old and shrivelled, actly know what he has been, and and lean and wizen, and mummy co

where he comes from. Some think loured; he looks as if he had been em he has been a schoolmaster-others balmed and inhumed a century ago, conjecture that he has been a doctor and had just now walked out of his of some sort, or a schemer in mechaswathing bands, a specimen of the nics, about which he talks


scienyear one thousand seven hundred and tifically-or in the funds-or in some ten. His periwig is so well plastered foreign commercial concern, for he with flour and hog's lard, that its large has certainly lived long in foreign sausage side curls look as durably con- parts, and is often heard talking to his sistent, as the “eternal buckles cut in old grey parrot in some outlandish Parian stone” that have immortali- tongue, and the bird seems to underzed Sir Cloudesley Shovel; and from stand it well, and replies in the same behind dangles half-way down his language. back, a long, taper pig-tail, wound

There are not wanting some, who round with black ribbon, the which, suspect that he has not been always about half-way, is tied into an ele in his perfect mind; but however that gant rosette. -On the top of that may be, he is perfectly harmless now, same periwig is perched a diminu- and has conducted himself unexceptive cocked hat with such a cock! tionably ever since he came to settle so fierce ! so triangular! the little in the village of Downe, ten years age. squat crown so buried within its In all that time he has never been triple fortification ! The like was never known to receive within his dwelling seen, save in the shape of those colour- any former friend or kinsman, and he ed sugar comfits called cock’d-hats, has never stirred beyond the boundary that are stuck up in long glasses in the of the parish, but to go once a-year to confectioners' windows, to attract the the banker's in the nearest town, to reeyes of poor longing urchins; and his ceive a small sum of money, for which face is triangular too, the exact centre he draws on a mercantile house in of his forehead where it meets the Lombard Street. He boards and periwig, being the apex thereof-his lodges with a widow, who has a neat nose is triangular-his little red eyes little cottage in the village, and he are triangular - his person is altogether cultivates the finest polyanthuses and triangular, from the sloping narrow auriculas in the flower-plot, of which shoulders, to where it widens out, cor she has yielded up the management to responding with the broad square fan- him, that were ever beheld in that tail flaps of that green velveteen coat. neighbourhood. He is very fond of He is a walking triangle! and he care flowers, and dumb animals, and chilries his cane behind him, holding it dren; and also the children in the with both hands wide apart, exactly place love him, and the old white parallel with the square line of his coate Pomeranian dog, blind of one eye, who flaps. See! he is bustling up to join that follows his master everywhere except small group of substantial farmersto church. Now, you know as much amongst whom he is evidently a person as I or any one knows of Master Jaof no small consequence ; they think cob Marks, more, perhaps, than was him," as one should say, Sir Oracle," worth telling, but I could not leave for he knows every fluctuation of stocks such an original subject half-sketched. to a fraction-criticizes the minister's Behold that jolly-looking fariner and discourses—expounds the prophecies his family approaching up the green '--explains all about the milleniums lane that leads from their habitation, and the number of the beast--foretells that old substantial-looking farmchanges of weather-knows something house yonder, half embowered in its of physic and surgery-gives charms guardian elms. for the ague and rheumaliz-makes They are a portly couple, the farmer ink-mends pens, and writes a won and his wife ! Ile, a bale, Aorid, fineVOL. XVI.

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looking man, on whose broad open the red, fat, fubsy hand, with short brow time has scarcely imprinted a dumpty fingers nubbed between, broad furrow, though it has changed to silky and turning up at the tips, looking as whiteness the

raven hue of those locks, if they had been created on purpose to once so thickly clustered about his knead dough, press curds, and put up temples. There is a consciousness of butter; and, lo! on the fore-finger of wealth and prosperity, and of rural the right hand a great garnet ring set consequence, in his general aspect and in silver, massy enough for the edge deportment; but if he loves the good of a soup tureen. It is an heir-loom things of this world, and prides him- from some great-grandmother, who self in possessing them, there is no was somehow related to somebody who thing in the expression of his counte was first cousin to a“ Barrow-knight,nance that bespeaks a selfish and nar and was herself so very rich a ladyrow heart, or a covetous disposition and so the misses have runmaged it He looks willing to distribute of his out, and forced it down upon their abundance, and greetings of cordial Ma’a's poor dear fat finger, which sticks goodwill, on both sides, are exchanged out as stiffly from the sensation of that between the farmer and such of his unwonted compression, as if it were labourers as fall into the same path, tied up and poulticed for a whitlow; in their way to the church. Arm-in and the poor lady, in spite of all hints arm with her spouse marches his port- and remonstrances, will walk with her ly helpmate, fat, florid, and, like him- gloves dangling in her hands, instead self, “ redolent” of the good things of of on them ; and altogether, the short this world, corn, and wine, and oil, pillowy arms cased up in those tight that sustaineth the heart of man, and cearments, with both hands and all the maketh him of a cheerful countenance. fingers spread out as if in act to swim,

A comely and a stately dame is the look, for all the world, like the fins of lady of Farmer Buckwheat, when, as a turtle, or the flaps of a frightened now, she paces by his side, resplen- gosling. Poor worthy dame! but a dent in her. Sunday-going garb, of sense of conscious grandeur supports ample and substantial materials, and her under the infliction of this fashionall of the very best that can be bought able penance. And then come the for money. One can calculate the pro Misses Buckwheat, mincing delicately fits of the dairy and the bee-hives, the in the wake of their Pa'a and Ma'a, pin-money of the farmer's lady—not with artificial flowers in their Leghorn to mention his weightier accumula- bonnets, sky-blue spencers, fawn-cotions by the richness of that black loured boots, flounces up to their satin cloak and bonnet, full trimmed knees, a pink parasol in one hand, and with real lace, and by the multitudi a pocket-handkerchief dangling from nous plaits of that respectable-looking the other ; not neatly folded and carsnuff-coloured silk gown and coat. ried with the handsome prayer-book

It is true, her old-fashioned preju- in the pretty fashion that so well bedices would have been in favour of a comes that fair modest girl, their large double silk handkerchief, pinned neighbour's daughter, whose profound neatly down, and a flowered chintz ignorance of fashionable dress and gown, drawn up through the pocket manners is looked on as quite pitiable, holes over a white quilted petticoat; poor thing !” by the Misses Buck but the worthy dame has two fair wheat. For what are they intended, daughters, and they have been brought I wonder ! For farmers' wives ? To up at a boarding-school, and they have strain milk, churn butter, fat pigs, half-coaxed, half-teazed their Ma'a out feed poultry, weigh out cheeses, and of such antiquated vulgar tastes, cure bacon hogs ? Good lack! They though even those pertinacious refor- paint landskips! and play on the piano! mists have been obliged to concede the and dance quadrilles ! and make bead point of a pelisse in favour of the sa purses ! and keep Albums! and doat tin cloak. But when they have con on Moore's Melodies and Lord Byceded one point, they have gained at ron's poems! They are to be “ tutora.' least two. See, the old lady's short esses,” or companions, or something sleeves, neatly frilled just below the orother-very genteel-Ladies, for cerelbow, are elongated down to the tain, anyway. So they have settled

rists, and finished there by a fa- themselves, and so the weak, doating hionable cuff, out of wbich protrudes mother fondly anticipates, though the

father talks as yet only of their pros- impossible to teach their mamma the perous establishment (all classes talk proper pronunciation of that word, of establishing young ladies now,) as which she persisted in calling “Molly the wives of wealthy graziers, or sub- Coddle”)-In straggles Timothy Alonstantial yeomen, or farmers, or thri- zo, but he is even more condescending ving tradesmen. But he drinks his than his papa, and bestows a very. tenport wine, and follows the hounds. derly expressive glance at the widow's And then, bringing up the rear of the daughter, as she drops her eyes, with family procession, lounges on its fu- her last and lowest curtsey to him. ture representative, its sole son and Well, they are gone by, thank Heaheir. And he is a smart buck, far too ven! and the poor woman and her genteel to walk arm-in-arm with his child follow at humble distance to their sisters; so he saunters behind, cutting Master's house. They will not always off the innocent heads of the dangling be abased there. The widow Maybrier-roses, and the tender hazel shoots, thorn and her daughter Rachel are a with that little jemmy switch, where very poor, but a very happy pair. Her with ever and anon he flaps the long- daughter is sickly and delicate, and looped sides of his yellow topped boots; folks say, in our country phrase,'hardand his white hat is set knowingly on ly so sharp as she should be," but she one side, and he wears a coloured silk has sense enough to be a dutiful child, handkerchief knotted loosely round his to suffer meekly, to hope humbly, to throat, and fastened down to the shirt believe steadfastly.-What profiteth bosom by a shining brooch,—an:l waist- other knowledge? The mother and coat of three colours, pink, blue, and daughter possess a little cottage, a bit buff,—a grass-green coat, with black of garden, and a cow that picks its velvet collar, and on his little finger, scanty, pasture on the waste. They (the wash leather glove is off on that work hard, they want often, but they hand,) a Belcher ring as thick as the contrive to live, and are content. The coil of a ship's cable. Well done, widow Maythorn and her daughter young Hopeful! That was a clever are a happy pair !-Yonder, winding aim ! There goes a whole shower of slowly up that shady green lane, come hazel-tops. What a pity your shear- the inmates of the parish work-house ing ingenuity is not as active among the in-door poor. First, the master, a the thistles in your father's fields! respectable-looking middle-aged man, The family has reached the church- with somewhat of pompous sternness gate; they are entering now; and the in his deportment; but there is nofarmer, as he passes through, vouch- thing hard or cruel in the expression safes a patronizing nod, and a good- of his eye, as ever and anon he looks humoured word or two, to that poor back along the line of paupers, of all widow and her daughter, who stand ages and sexes, so decently marshalled aside holding the gate open for him, under his command. On the contrary, and dropping humble curtsies to every he hangs back, to speak a few words member of the family. The farmer of hearty encouragement to that weary gives them now and then a few days old man, who totters along so feebly work,-hoeing, weeding, or stoning, on his crutches, under the burden of or, at hay or harvest time, on his broad his fourscore years of toil and trouble, acres; but his daughters wonder“ Pa'a and the increasing load of his bodily should demean himself so far as to nod infirmities. And the grateful look of old familiarly to such poor objects.They Matthew, and his cheerful,“ Lord love draw up their chins, flirt their hands ye, master !” are eloquent vouchers, kerchiefs, and pass on as stiff as po that for once, the man “ armed with kery. And last, in straggles Master a little brief authority” abuseth not Timothy—(He hates that name, by his trust. The mistress has less digthe by, and wishes his sponsors had nity, but more severity of aspect, as favoured him with one that might her sharp, quick glance runs back ofhave shortened buckishly into Frank, ten and suspiciously along the line of or Tom, or- Tim won't do, and his females—and she calls them peremsisters scout the barbarous appellation, torily to ordler, if their voices are heard and have re-christened him Alonzo.” too voluble ; and she rebukes the They would fain have bestowed on him straggling children, and denounces exthe name of Madame Cottin's interest- emplary vengeance against those two ing Saracen, Malek Adhel, but it was detected urchins ; in particular-de

tected in the misdemeanor of skulking a poor little boy muffled up in a coat behind to pull those tempting clusters that looks like his grandfather's greatof almost ripe nuts, that peep so invi- coat, the flaps of which dangle almost tingly from the high hazel hedge. But to the ground; the collar is turned her denunciations

are not listened to, half way down his back, or it would it should appear, with any very vehe- mount up so high as to bury his head, ment demonstrations of dread. I be- which is indeed already buried, under lieve o' my conscience, “her bark is a hat, the brim of which rests upon waur than her bite;" and that half her his shoulders and the bridge of his terrors lie in that long, sharp, bow- nose; and when he hangs down his sprit nose, those little red gimblet arms, you cannot see so much as the eyes, and in the sound of a voice, shrill, tip of his fingers peeping from within cracked, and squeaking like the tone those long enormous sleeves. To comof a penny trumpet. Very neat, de- plete the picture of comfort, he skuffs cent, and respectable is the appearance along in a pair of shoes, the stiff upper of the long line of parish poor. They, leathers of which reach up to the midare all comfortably clad in whole and dle of his shins, and the poor little clean apparel; and even that poor idiot, legs stick in them like two chumpers who brings up the rear, straggling in in a couple of butter churns. Altogeand out of the file of children,-- who ther he looks like a dangling scarecan restrain his vagaries? Even he is crow set up in a corn-field. clothed in good grey woollen, and a But then, the little muffled man whole new hat, in lieu of the scarlet presents a fine contrast to his alongtatters, and old battered soldier's hel. side mate. His long-tailed coat makes met, with its ragged red and white fea- him a short jacket. His arms are ther, in which he delights to decorate squeezed through the sleeves, to be his poor little deformed figure on sure, but then they stick out like week-days, calling himself corporal, wooden pins on either side, with excaptain, general, or drum-major, as the cessive tightness; and there, see, whim of the moment rules his way, dangles half a yard of red, lean wrist, ward fancy,--each grade, as he as and all the blood in his body seems sumes it, the most honourable in his forced down into those great blue estimation. They are passed on, all of bony knuckles. It was a good hearty them-men, women, and children- thump, certes, that jammed down that the two culprits still lagging in the stiff skimming-dish of a hat, even to rear--I wager they have another pluck where it now reaches on his unlucky at the forbidden fruit, on their way pate. The great flat unhemmed red back to the work-house.

ears stick out from under it, like two More children still ! marshalled in red cabbage leaves ; and for his shoes ! double files—boys and girls, three The blacksmith' would have shod scores at least ; each sex uniformly him better, and have inflicted less pain clad; the master and mistress leading in the operation; for, see! his feet the van of their respective divisions. are doubled up in them, into the form That is the subscription charity school, of hoofs, and he hobbles along, (poor and the children have just donned knave!) like a cat in pattens, or as if their new clothing, and do but see! the smooth green lane were paved poor urchins! what hogs in armour with red-hod flints. And the girls are some of them look like? good clo- not much better off ; some dragglelong thing it is—warm and decent, and of trains after them, and have waists durable material;-thick grey frieze for down to their hips; others are wellthe boys, with dark blue worsted hose, nigh kilted ; and that long lanky girl and black beaver hats-black hats at there, Jenny Andrews, would reveal least ; and for the girls, grogram far more than a decent proportion of gowns, and wild boar petticoats— those heron legs of hers, were it not (reader, did you ever hear of such ma that she has ingeniously contrived to terials ?) and stiff enough they are, tie the wild boar petticoat a reef below Heaven knows; and as the things are the grogram gown, thereby supplying all sent down ready made from a Lon the deficiencies of the latter. Well! don warehouse, they are of necessity they are all new clothed, however, pretty much of the same size, as ha- spick and span--and all very proud of ving the better chance to fit, or, at all being so, even he of the crumpt-up events, to do for all. So you shall see toes, who will soon poke his way

through those leathern fetters, and in and in two tax-carts, and on sundry the meantime, limps along in content- steeds; and there the patrician party ed misery. “New clothes !" thinks he is congregating together round the -"Good clothes ! handsome clothes!” great east door; and there stands the thinks Madam Buckwheat.--"Fine clerk, with hat in hand, peering down clothes ! fashionable clothes!" think the the vicarage-lane, under the pentMisses Buckwheat.“Brave clothes! house of his other shading hand, for pretty clothes !” thinks the poor idiot, the first glimpse of the minister. when Monday comes, and he is allow- Now! he descries the white face of the ed to resume his old scarlet tatters. old roan mare. Another look, to be All are puffed up with the self-same sure; it is indeed that sober-footed species of conceit, variously modified, palfrey, bearing her reverend burthen; and so are many greater, and many and then he turns hastily into the belfiner folks than they-ay, and many fry; and immediately the cracked wiser ones too many more talented. chimes subside into a few quick single Witness Goldsmith, in his peach-blos- strokes, announcing the near approach som coat, and Johnson, (who ridiculed of the clergyman, and the speedy the poor poet's puerile vanity,) in his commencement of divine service. gala suit of fine brown broad-cloth. That fine ruddy lad, with the white One spread his tail like a peacock, and smock-frock, has been immoveably strutted about to show off its gaudy posted at the churchyard wicket for colours ; the other, arrayed like the the last half hour. His patience will bird of wisdom, in grave and sombre accomplish its purpose ; he is the first plumage, was equally proud of the to start forward, hat in hand, and dignity it conferred, and oraculously smoothing down his glossy yellow opined, that a gentleman was twice à hair,) to receive the bridle of the old gentleman in a full dress suit. Vanity! man, which the vicar resigns into the vanity! thou universal leaven ! from hand of careful Will, with the usual what human heart art thou absolutely charges, and a smile, and a few words excluded ?

of kind notice. The minister has Hark! the trampling of horses, and passed into the vestry; the clerk has the sound of wheels. The Squire's followed him; a few more strokes, and carriage sweeps round the corner of the bell ceases; a few more seconds, the churchyard. He and his family and the churchyard is left to its longarrive thus early, that the horses may ly silence, and to its quiet occupants ; be stabled in that long low shed, ap- and the living are gathered together propriated for the purpose, and the within those sacred walls, to hear the servants ready to enter the church at words of eternal life, on the surety the same time with their master, and whereof, the sleepers without (with to partake with him of the benefit and whom they must one day lie down in comfort of the confession and absolu- the dust) have been committed te tion. Some people seem to consider their narrow beds “in sure and certhose parts of the service as a mere tain hope." prelude,-a sort of overture as hack, But my discourse purported to be of nied, and about as solemn, as that to Churchyards only; and I have ramLodoiska ; and if they reach their bled from the text. No matter ; I pews by the time they are half over, am come (as we all must) to the it is well. As for the servants; what churchyard at last, and my next can it signify to them? There alights Chapter shall be of “ another carriage load—and another stones, and epitaphs." and another--and the comers in a car,


graves, and

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