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As regards ourself, we very strongly object Blessed be thine early morning! to all these “ ready cut and dried” effusions. Blessed be thine evening close! They are tasteless-spiritless--meaningless.
Blessed thy going and returning,
Summer hours and winter snows! They have no point. They will do for one ; they will do for all. Over-grown Cupids Not to thee, all undeceiving, rolling over uds, their cheeks bedaubed Pure of spirit, frank of heart, with vermillion-ugly little hump-backed Shall the Muse, her fictions weaving, churches, botched witħ imitation-ivy (where Act the faithless flatterer's part. no sane mortal could ever think of getting Win and wear thy prize, fair lady! married); and top-heavy chariots shining in Faith as true, as pure as thine, ochre—such attempts at heart-stealing as
Love and service ever ready, these, delight us not. Nor have we ever been
From thy well-known Valentine. seriously smitten by those hosts of little nude
We must confess that, as we grow older, Cupids, who so mysteriously creep out of full
we cling more to the poetry of love than to blown cabbage-roses, making the best of their the rattling jingle of School-boy sonnets. way to large over-grown hearts, stuffed with Love is an expansive element—not a mere double-headed arrows-these said hearts
simpering look of yes or no. It is a deep uttering dolorous complaints in -called
stream, into which the lower you plunge the verse, whilst frying in their own flames. sweeter the feeling. We could write on this These never took our fancy.
subject for ever; but we forget that this is a We believe we were the first to originate mere pièce de circonstance. Let us conclude, the idea, of sending the girl of our heart an therefore, with the “Valentine Wreath,” by emblematical device on pasteboard of a Montgomery. It is a gem worth “setting closed cabinet, with a latch attached. On in OUR OWN JOURNAL: lifting this, the doors flew open ; and an elegant silvered mirror, concealed by a veil of Rosy red the hills appear. silver gauze, was seen suspended in the front. With the light of morning; Beneath it was written :
Beauteous clouds in æther clear,
All the East adorning. Remove this veil with care, and see
White through mist the meadows shine, The only girl who's dear to me;
Wake, my love-my Valentine !
For thy locks of raven hue,
Flowers of hoar-frost pearly, This, though a boyish effusion, was, we Crocus-cups of gold and blue, remember, a dead shot.
The idea was a Snow-drops drooping early, pretty one; we were suspected, accepted, With Mezereon sprigs combine : beloved, and caressed (of course).
Rise, my love-my Valentine ! HURDiS says, writing of this memorable day :
O'er the margin of the flood,
Pluck the daisy peeping; This day doth herald in St. Valentine !
Through the covert of the wood, Now maids are brisk, and at the break of day
Hunt the sorrel creeping.
With the little celandine,
Pansies, on their lowly stems,
Scattered o'er the fallows; But prose distracted.
Hazel-buds with crimson gems,
Green and glossy sallows; We have not made much progress since Tufted moss and ivy-twine, the days of llurdis. If ladies' hearts fall Deck my love-my Valentine! before the poetry of modern Valentines, they
Few and simple flow'rets these ; must, we think, be indeed made of “ melting
Yet to me less glorious stuff!"
Garden beds and orchard trees! It is said that the sweet air of" Rousseau's
Since this wreath victorious Dream" was first imported into this country Binds thee now for ever mine, some fifty years ago, and that the first Eng- Oh ! my love—my Valentine ! lish words ever written to it were in the form of a serenade from a lover to his be- One parting remark about Valentine, who
Ladies ! one little trothed, on the morning of St. Valentine's to-day woos the fair. Day. We have a copy of the lines in our word in your ear, if you please : possession, and we subjoin them :-
Let virtue, honor, sense, and truth unite, Health to thee, mine own sweet lady!
Whate'er the fortune, VALENTINE is right. Health and blessing, first and last !
Absent these qualities (thus ends our song), Now may Heaven, all bounteous, aid me
Whate 'er the fortune, VALENTINE is wrong. Round thy path new spells to cast.
GULLS AND THEIR VICTIMS,— ments. The greater the fabrication, the more
impossible the cure,—the greater the credit MYSTERY OF AN ADVERTISEMENT.
given to the wonderful heal-all! One “Pro
fessor" tells us daily in the “Times," that his It is a curious fact connected with our ointment cures broken legs, after two or three race, that whilst one part is progressing applications; and that his pills will make an with railway speed towards perfection, the old man young again. He says so; and other part is retrograding in intellect in an people believe him. They take his physic inverse ratio. If any proof of this be want- and die; he takes their money and laughs ing, see it in the blind allegiance paid by at them. The fact is, none of these adverthe million to newspaper advertisements
tisements can be believed. “They lie like all of them just so many “shams.'
truth.' Let us take up any one of the daily sheets It is vain for us, to hope to effect much of the Times newspaper.
What see we good by any exposé that we might make; still there? Why, advertisements innumerable if we only save one intended victim, we of every kind of “want"_whether
shall be more than satisfied. We will now applied to things, people, or money.
It has introduce a brief account of a recent been said, that the public may be divided case of extortion made by a “ Matrimonial into ten parts. Nine of these parts are
Alliance Association," who had volunteered fools, the tenth consists of wise men.
It has by advertisement to procure wives or husbeen further said, and truly—that the tenth bands “to order.". The person “ done" on part swallows up the other nine! This is a this occasion, was Mr. PELLAS-a merchant fact !
of Fenchurch Street ; but it turned out, The tenth part of the public, then, are subsequently, a case of “ the biter bit." those who live by putting specious adver- We record the circumstances of the trial in tisements into the “ Times," so artfully
OUR JOURNAL, by way of a warning to all worded as to work upon the passions or the who want wives, or husbands“ by proxy." weak point of an erring mortal. The hook Rely on it, good people, the old way is best. is, for the most part, so nicely, so temptingly If a woman is not worth winning and wooing, baited, that it is sure of securing a victim: she is not worth having :when secured, bis " fate" may be guessed : ex. An action brought in the Westgr.
minster County Court, by a foreigner named It is well known that many of our work Pellus, a merchant, of Fenchurch Street, ing clergy are very poor (all “worthy” clergy- City, against a person of the name of Hunter, a men must be very poor.
This is nature's manager of the Legal Matrimonial Alliance Assolaw). Well; to meet their views,” money is ciation, the offices of which were stated to be at advertised as forthcoming on easy terms."
No. 2, Portsmouth-street, Lincoln's-inn-fields, to The poor clergyman sees the bait; swallows recover the sum of £10, which he had paid under it; corresponds ; sends up his acceptance on a lady destined
a promise of being introduced by the “ Society" to
a lady destined to be bis wife, but which promise blank paper, gets no money in return; finds had not been performed. himself “done" on coming up to town, and From the statement of Mr. De Jersey, who his acceptance originally sent for £100 altered detailed the facts in an unusually humorous style, to £100. The bill is passed away; it becomes it appeared that in September last his client, who due; the clergyman is sued; persecuted;
à native of Genoa, observed in a weekly ruined! The same trick, in different dis- newspaper an
article headed “Important to guises, fills the columns of the “ Times" Bachelors and Spinsters,” wherein all who were daily. The advertisers live in style ; whilst single were invited to become members, if they their victims are plundered, and frequently riage to be of mutual advantage.
desired to taste the joys of wedlock; the mar
The plaintiff commit suicide.
wishing to try such an event, wrote to Mr. Hugo As for the simple who believe every Beresford, to whom applications were to be made thing on a small scale, they are plundered at the above address, he being secretary, the folvery easily. Thus, if a man be bald headed, lowing letter :he reads, in the advertisement of a swindling
Sept. 3, 1852. advertiser,-"hair is perfectly restored after Sir,--Some time ago, the writer saw seven years baldness." Miss Dean tells him advertisement of yours in the London paper, unthe "fact” so positively, that he cannot but der the title of 'The Matrimonial Alliance Assobelieve her. He pays 2s. for the “elegantly ciation,', and now should feel obliged by your scented compound,” and finds himself letting him know, at the earliest convenience, " done,”—besides being more bald than ever, he being a most honorable and respectable
what you think you could really do for him, He is exhorted to "persevere." unmarried gentleman desirous of getting marHe does so; buys some dozen pots, and finds ried to a respectable lady—no matter her age himself without a single hair on his head! -possessing a handsome fortune, and who, after The same with quack medicines,-in fact satisfactory inquiries, might be disposed to help with nearly all the marvellous advertise- him with a loan of £2,000, purposely to increase
his business, which is most lucrative, and pre- an association having in its banker's hands upsents the groatest security. He has for several wards of £3,000; and his fierce looks frightening years been an established foreign commission. the plaintiff, he promised to send £10 on the merchant in the city of London, enjoys great morrow, and was allowed to depart. On reachrespectability and credit in the trade, is banking ing the street, he ran away; not stopping till with a first-rate firm in Lombard-street, and in within a few paces of his own residence. Thisfact, can give the best references for the period was on the 29th of September, and on the followof the last twenty years. He is only hardly ing day he sent a note, declining any further transa middle-aged gentleman, foreigner by birth, and actions with the Matrimonial Alliance Associais living in London. He has a dwelling-house tion. The Association was, however, not to be for himself, entirely for him, and it is furnished so easily disenthralled from a person who had got the same as any lady or gentleman of style can into their meshes, and threats of proceedings wish. With the rest, please to state your terms, against him in the Sheriff's Court were made as these must be settled beforehand. Enclosed unless he paid the £10 by twelve o'clock on a you will find five postage stamps. I remain yours certain day; when, if the lady, on an interview truly, A B - P.S. Please address the letters did not suit, it would be returned. His client only Mr. W. Jones, No. 10, the Grove, Clapham- was inflexible; and being on two occasions refused road, Surrey."
the £10, which had been fraudulently, as he A prompt reply from Mr. Hugo Beresford was considered, obtained from him, he instituted these sent, asking for the usual rogistration fee of 58. proceedings. Subsequently to that event, Mr. in postage stamps, on the receipt of which a Hugo Beresford was foth to lose his game in the printed form of application would be forwarded. person of the plaintiff
, and sent him the following The stamps wero sent, the plaintiff in exchange rich morceau :-—“Mr. Beresford would be happy being supplied with the said form. In this he to arrange a meeting with a lady, another likely was to state his ago, weight, height, complexion, character, with whom an interview can be given." color of hair and eyes; and, in fact, describe Plaintiff was proof against this and other overhimself as he would a horse he had to dispose tures made to alter the course he had adopted, of laughter): He did all that, after which Mr. and he was determined that, through an exposure Hugo Beresford again wrote to him, intimating by the press, the public should be put on their that he had a very choice collection of ladics on guard from being defrauded by an alleged bona hand, the chargo on an engagement with either side association, not worth a straw. of which would be between £30 and £10; and that The plaintiff, a good-looking gentlemanly a small deposit was required, which, if, after young man, of mild demeanor, in broken English forwarding, tho plaintiff should not be “suited," it corroborated the facts in chief, as narrated by his would be placed to his credit, and deducted from solicitor. the gross amount when he was. Plaintiff there- Cross-examined by Mr. Roberts : He had never upon enclosed in an envelope to Mr. Beresford a before speculated in marriage. His father wanted cheque upon Messrs. Glynn, his bankers, for £5, to bring him up a priest ; but he did not like it, which had the effect of causing Mr. Beresford and came to this country. He was under thirty to make another demand upon plaintiff's purse, at years of age.
He did not care about his wife's the same time intimating that the Christian name age, as he wanted a companion in a woman, and of the lady he was to be introduced to money might give her a favorality (laughter).
Fanny" (loud laughter). His client, still under He should, he thought, have objected to marry the impression that this was only the legalised a woman more than middle aged. On seeing ordeal of bachelorship, and the name of his per the Matrimonial Alliance, he said let us try. He spective wife in vigorating him, transmitted another knew of no firm of that name (laughter), but said cheque of £5–hoping he should be introduced so to himself. to the lady. Mr. Beresford, however, judged he His honor observed, that no doubt the money had got a flat in plaintiff, to whom he made a had been obtained by fraud upon the plaintiff, communication that on the receipt of another and the defendant, who was the only person he £10, his wish should be gratified, but otherwise had seen throughout the transaction, was liable, it could not be. The plaintiff
' then, for the first and he should, therefore, make an order for its time, began to feel a little doubtful of the affair
payment.-I propose, then, ten shillings a month. he had blindly embarked in, and resolved to go
Mr. De Jersey: What !! By an association to the company's office, in Portsmouth-street, boasting of having in their banker's hands £3,000 where on asking for Mr. Beresford, he was intro- (laughter)! I press for payment forthwith. An duced to the defendant, who, having taken him order was then made for immediate paymentinto a dark, dirty apartment, more like a den than a room, asked him his business, which he told. Defendant upon that, having locked the An occasional exposure of this kind is saludoor, said, Mr. Beresford's abroad; my name's tary. Let us hope that “wives by advertiseHunter; I have been corresponding with you for ment” will be laid aside for a long time to him, and I suppose you have come to
come. Connected with “Matrimonial adverrequired £10.” Plaintiff assured him that he tisements,” to catch fats
, the subjoined is meant no such thing, and should not advance any more money till he could see the lady, or have far too good to be lost sight of. It is now some reference given him as to the respectability appearing daily and weekly, in the newsand honor of the company he had entered into papers; and would not, we imagine, be so dealings with On uttering these words, the industriously kept up, unless it amply defendant complained of the slur thus cast 'upon repaid Madame M., the flat-catcher, for her
WITH ALL COSTS.
outlay. It is headed, “ 8107 marriages suit us nicely;" and others wanted to take last year," and proceeds thus :
“instant possession" of our royal person. “Matrimony made easy, or how to win a
Vain was it for us,—then a blooming youth, lover.-Madame M- - London, continues to remonstrate. It would not do. Every send free
any address, on receipt one of these besetting, besieging houseof thirteen postage stamps (uncut), plain keepers,tried to vanquish us by saying she was directions enable Ladies or Gentlemen "just the thing"; and we barely escaped with to win the devoted affections of as many of the the skin of our teeth. At last, out of revenge opposite sex as their hearts may desire. The
we selected, as a safeguard, one of the ugliest process is simple-so captivating and enthralling, and silliest; and then made a sortie, we that all may be married, irrespective of age, remember, by a side door, whilst the fair colu-hearted, may readily bow to its attractions. would-be invaders of our domestic felicity Young and old, peer and peeress, as
well trouped off most reluctantly one by one. The as the peasant, are alike subject to its influence ; day following they again dropped in, by and last, though not least, it can be arranged couplets and triplets, to see as they said with such ease and delicacy that exposure is “ which way the wind lay.”. But we were impossible,-Beware of ignorant pretenders.” firm, -a martyr to our principles.
We had taken a servant who was an adverThe winning of a lover, it will be seen, is herein described as simple, captivating, and tisement-hunter. Of course therefore we were
robbed. We had been told it would be so; enthralling. All may be married, irrespective of age, or appearance, whilst the fickle and but we thought we knew woman-kind better,
Our cold-hearted may be rendered constant and and so we paid for our experience. ardent as fire. Then, “ ease” and “ delicacy” four months; our brown brandy became
wardrobe diminished one half at least, in are called in; and “ exposure” rendered "impossible.” This is rich,--and only exceeded
"pale,” by coming into too close contact by the last concluding sentence, cautioning water bewitched;" and the rum was, as
with water ; the Geneva turned out the public against herself.—Beware of “ignorant pretenders!"
our bachelor-friends expressed it,—“Rum It is worthy of note, that the greater the indeed!" A double set of keys too, placed imprudence put forward in advertisements, the all our secrets at the mercy of Madame ; greater the success in procuring dupes. Is and we found ourselves fairly obliged to
This over-polite 220t the subjoined, cut out of the paper only give her notice to quit. a day or two since, rich and rare ? Oh!
woman was always an eye-sore to us. We thou most gullible John Bull !
had taken her in a pet,--we kept her as a matter of philosophical necessity.
When * Bashfulness. Those persons who are troubled she was gone, we shouted for joy; and vowed with bashfulness, timidity, disinclination to enter soon to commit Matrimony as a panacea a "room full of company," inability to speak for all such evils. We kept our vow. freely when in company, &c., should at once write to Mr. J. Parkinson, who will forward them his
We again repeat,-shun all wants and advice on the means to be employed for obtain- wishes made known through tricky advertiseing confidence, the power of conversing and ments. They are webs-woven by the few mingling freely in society without being annoyed for the destruction of the many. by any disagreeable feeling of restraint ; in short, the comfortable assurance of easy gentility:
WINTER, ---FROST. Direet (enclosing two dozen postage-stamps and a directed envelope) to Mr. J. Parkinson, care of It is winter-veritable winter with bona the Post Office, &c., &c."
fide frost, and cramping cold, and a sun as The "two dozen postage - stamps” is clear and powerless as moonlight. The winnothing, in comparison with the comfort- dows glitter with the most fantastic frost-work. alle assurance of easy gentility.” Whether Cities, with their spires and turrets, ranks of the latter be forthcoming or not, is beside spears, files of horsemen-every gorgeous and the question. The “two dozen stamps," brilliant array told of in romance or song, value 2s., will never be refunded !
start out of that mass of silvery tracery, like There are two sides to every question. the processions of a magic mirror. What a We remember once advertising for “a miraculous beauty there is in frost! What housekeeper.” Being young and inexpe- fine work in its radiant crystals ! What rienced, we perhaps worded our “ want" mystery in its exact proportions and its manirather loosely ; at all events, no sooner had form varieties! The feathery snow-flake, the the advertisement appeared, than we were delicate riine, the transparent and sheeted ice, besieged on every hand by the hunters-up the magnificent iceberg moving down the sea of advertisements. We were looked upon like a mountain of light-how beautiful are as fair game by old and young, ugly and they all, and how wonderful is it, that, break pretty. Some smirked at us, some winked and scatter them as you will, you will find at us; some said, “ they knew they should | under every form the same faultless angles,
LINES ADDRESSED TO
the same crystalline and sparkling radiation. THE MONTH IN PROSPECT. It sometimes grows suddenly cold at noon. There has been a heavy mist all the morning,
FEBRUARY and, as the north wind comes sharply in, the air clears and leaves it frozen upon everything,
Hold! hold! what would these endless clouds be at!
These five days it has been but pour-pour-pour; with the thinness of palpable air.
Methinks 'twill float again the ark of Noah are clothed with a fine white vapor, as if a
From its old station on Mount Ararat.
Oh! 'tis a pleasant tiine for cloak and hat; cloud had been arrested and fixed motionless
And for umbrellas, laid in dozens by, in the branches. They look, in the twilight That, as one drops, another may be dry :
For cork-soled shoes, stilts, oilcase, and all that. like gigantic spirits, standing in broad ranks
Out, cal ! why turn thy back upon the fire? and clothed in drapery of supernatural white- We've rain enough, I say!- We'll try again ness and texture. On close examination, the This weather glass ;-sweettinger, pray mount higher !
Down !-down it goes l-oh mercy !-yet more rain ? crystals are as fine as needles, and standing Shall the world drown? no dry spot left upon it, in perfect parallelism, pointing in the direction And fishes swim where I now pen this sonnet ? of the wind. They are like fringes of the most minute threaus, edging every twig and cheerless month of the year. There may be
FEBRUARY IS, WITHOUT DOUBT, the most filament of the tree, so that the anches are thickened by them, and have a shadowy and pleasant varieties of it. The latter end mysterious look, as if a spirit-foliage had may, and frequently is, much more agree
able than the commencement; but, as started out from the naked limbs. It is not so brilliant as the common rime seen upon Besides the earth being saturated with a
whole, it is at once cold, damp, and foggy. the trees after a frozen rain, but it is inti- whole winter's moisture, there is, generally, nitely more delicate and spiritual, and to us
abundance of rain during this month; so seems a phenomenon of exquisite beauty.
much so, that it has acquired the cognoFOR EVER THINE.
men of February-fill-dike.'
The frosts and snows which have been
locking up, and burying the earth for weeks DEAREST, I'm THINE, whate'er this heart betide, and months, are giving way; and what is For ever thine, where'er our lot be cast;
so cheerless and chilling as a great thau? Fate, that may rob us of all wealth beside, There is a lack of comfort felt every where. Shall leave us Love, till death itself be past. In real winter-weather, when the clear The world may wrong us, we will brave its hate; frosty air sharply saluted the face by day, False friends may change, and false hopes decline; and revealed to the eye at night, a scene Tho' bowed by cankering cares we'll smile at fate, of sublime splendor in the lofty and inSince thou art mine, belov'd, and I am thine ! tensely blue sky, glittering with congregated For ever thine, --when circling years have spread stars, or irradiated by the moon,--there Time's snowy blossoms o'er thy placid brow; was a sense of vigor, of elasticity, and of When youth's rich glow, its purple light is fled, freshness, which made it welcome; but And lilies bloom where roses flourish now. now,--most commonly, by day and night, Say, shall I love thy fading beauty less,
the sky is hidden ir. impenetrable vapor-When spring-tide radiance has been wholly mine ? the earth is sodden and splashy with wet; Let come what will, thy steadfast truth I'll bless, - and even the very fireside does not escape In youth, in age,-thine own, for ever thine ! the comfortless sense of humidity. For ever thine--at evening's dewy hour,
Everything presents to the eye, accusWhen gentle hearts to tend'rest thoughts incline; tomed so long to the brightness of clear When balmiest odors from each closing flower
frosts and the pure whiteness of snow, Are breathing round, I'm thine, for ever thine. dingy and soiled aspect. All things are For ever thine, 'mid fashion's heartless throng,
dripping with wet. It hangs upon the walls In courtly bowers, at folly's gilded shrine;
like a heavy dew; it penetrates into the Smiles on my cheek, light words upon my tongue, drawers and wardrobes of our warmest My deep heart still is thine, for ever thine. chambers ; and we are surprised at the
unusual dampness of our clothes, linen, For ever thine, amid the boisterous crowd, Where the jest sparkles with the sparkling wine ; books, paper, -- and, in short, almost every I may not breathe thy gentle name aloud,
thing which we have occasion to examine. But drink to thee in thought,-for ever thine !
Brick and stone floors are now dangerous I would not, sweet, profane that silvery sound,- things for delicate and thinly-shod people
to stand upon. The depth of love could such rude heart divine,
To this source, and, in Let the loud laughter peal, the toast go round;
fact, to the damps of this month, operatBut still my thoughts are thine,--for ever thine. ing in various ways, may be attributed not
a few of the colds, coughs, and consumpFor ever thine, whate'er this heart betide,
tions so prevalent in England. Pavements For ever thine, where'er our lot be cast; Fate that may rob us of all wealth beside,
are frequently so much elevated by the Shall leave us Love, till lite itself be past!
expansion of the moisture beneath, as to obstruct the opening and shutting of doors