CHAPTER XVI.

A PROJECT FOR THE ADVANCEMENT OF THE STAGE.

the year wherein their first work was published) shall be elected to manage the affairs of the society; provided, nevertheless, that the laureate for the time be

all (to prevent disputes, but too frequent among the learned) shall be the most ancient poet and critic to be found in the whole island.

Here, therefore, in the name of all our brethren, let me return our sincere and humble thanks to the most august Mr. Barton Booth, the most serene Mr. Robert Wilks, and the most undaunted Mr. Colley Cibber; of whom let it be known, when the people of this age shall be ancestors, and to all the succession of our successors, that to this present day they continue to outdo even their own outdoings; and when the inevitable hand of sweeping time shall have brushed off all the works of to-day, may this testimony of a contemporary critic to their fame be extended as far as to-morrow.

Yet if to so wise an administration it be possible anything can be added, it is that more ample and comprehensive scheme which Mr. Dennis and Mr. Gildon (the two greatest critics and reformers then living) made public in the year 1720, in a project signed with their names and dated the second of February. I cannot better conclude than by presenting the reader with the substance of it.

"1. It is proposed, that the two theatres be incorporated into one company; that the royal academy of music be added to them as an orchestra; and that Mr. Figg with his prize-fighters, and Violante with the rope-dancers, be admitted in partnership.

"2. That a spacious building be erected at the public expense, capable of containing at least ten thousand spectators; which is become absolutely necessary by the great addition of children and nurses to the audience since the new entertaintments.b That there be a stage as large as the Athenian, which was near ninety thousand geometrical paces square, and separate divisions for the two houses of parliament, my lords the judges, the honourable the directors of the academy, and the court of aldermen, who shall all have their places frank.

"3. If Westminster-hall be not allotted to this service, (which, by reason of its proximity to the two chambers of parliament above mentioned seems not altogether improper,) it is left to the wisdom of the nation whether Somerset-house may not be demolished, and a theatre built upon that side which lies convenient to receive spectators from the county of Surrey, who may be wafted thither by water-carriage, esteemed by all projectors the cheapest whatsoever. To this may be added, that the river Thames may in the readiest manner convey those eminent personages from courts beyond the seas, who may be drawn either by curiosity to behold some of our most celebrated pieces, or by affection to see their countrymen, the harlequins and eunuchs; of which convenient notice may be given, for two or three months before, in the public prints.

"4. That the theatre above-said be environed with a fair quadrangle of buildings fitted for the accommodation of decayed critics and poets; out of whom six of the most aged (their age to be computed from

The character of a player is in this chapter treated rather too contemptuously. Johnson fell into the same cant, and treated his old friend Garrick unkindly and unjustly, at a time when he was received into the familiarity of some of the best families in this country. Baron, Chamelle, La Covreur, Du Menil, Le Kain, were equally respected in France.--DR. WARTON.

bPantomines then first exhibited in England.

"5. The male players are to be lodged in the garrets of the said quadrangle, and to attend the persons of the poets dwelling under them, by brushing their apparel, drawing on their shoes, and the like. The actresses are to make their beds and wash their linen.

"6. A large room shall be set apart for a library, to consist of all the modern dramatic poems and all the criticisms extant. In the midst of this room shall be a round table for the council of six to sit and deliberate on the merits of plays. The majority shall determine the dispute: and if it shall happen that three and three should be of each side, the president shall have a casting voice, unless where the contention may run so high as to require a decision by single combat.

7. It may be convenient to place the council of six in some conspicuous situation in the theatre, where, after the manner usually practised by composers in music, they may give signs (before settled and agreed upon) of dislike or approbation. In consequence of these signs, the whole audience shall be require o clap or biss, that the town may learn certainly when and how far they ought to be pleased.

"8. It is submitted whether it would not be proper to distinguish the council of six by some particular habit or gown of an honourable shape and colour, to which may be added a square cap and a white wand.

"9. That to prevent unmarried actresses making away with their infants, a competent provision be allowed for the nurture of them, who shall for that reason be deemed the children of the society; and that they may be educated according to the genius of their parents, the said actresses shall declare upon oath (as far as their memory will allow) the true names and qualities of their several fathers. A private gentleman's son shall, at the public expense, be brought up a page to attend the council of six: a more ample provision shall be made for the son of a poet; and a greater still for the son of a critic.

"10. If it be discovered that any actress is got with child during the interlude of any play wherein she hath a part, it shall be reckoned a neglect of her business, and she shall forfeit accordingly. If any actor for the future shall commit murder, except upon the stage, he shall be left to the laws of the land; the like is to be understood of robbery and theft. In all other cases, particularly in those for debt, it is proposed that this, like the other courts of Whitehall and St. James's, may be held a place of privilege. And whereas it has been found that an obligation to satisfy paltry creditors has been a discouragement to men of letters, if any person of quality or others shall send for any poet or critic of this society to any remote quarter of the town, the said poet or critic shall freely pass and repass without being liable to an arrest.

"11. The forementioned scheme, in its several regulations, may be supported by profits arising from every third night throughout the year. And as it would be hard to suppose that so many persons could live without any food (though from the former course of their lives a very little will be deemed sufficient), the masters of calculation will, we believe, agree, that out of those profits the said persons might be subsisted in a sober and decent man

ner. We will venture to affirm further, that not only the proper magazines of thunder and lightning, but paint, diet-drinks, spitting-pots, and all other necessaries of life, may, in like manner, fairly be provided for.

"12. If some of the articles may at first view seem liable to objections, particularly those that give so vast a power to the council of six (which is indeed larger than any intrusted to the great officers of state), this may be obviated by swearing those six persons of his majesty's privy-council, and obliging them to pass everything of moment previously at that most honourable board."

It is very easy, but very ungrateful, to laugh at collectors of various readings, and adjusters of texts, those poor pioneers of literature, who drag forward

A waggon-load of meanings for one word,
While A's deposed, and B with pomp restored.

To the indefatigable researches of many a Dutch commentator and German editor are we indebted for that ease and facility with which we are now enabled to read. "I am persuaded," says Bayle, that the ridiculous obstinacy of the first critics, who lavished so much of their time upon the question whether we ought to say Virgilius or Vergilius, has been ultimately of great use; they thereby inspired men with an extreme veneration for antiquity; they disposed them to a sedulous Inquiry into the conduct and character of the ancient Grecians and Romans, and that gave occasion to their improving by those great examples." Dict. tom. v. p. 795.

VIRGILIUS RESTAURATUS.

I. SPECIMEN LIBRI PRIMI, VER. 1.
Arma virumque cano, Troja qui primus ab oris
Italiam fato profugus, Lavinaque venit
Littora. Multum ille et terris jactatus et alto,
Vi superûm-

Arma virumque cano, Troja qui primus ab aris
Italiam, flatu profugus, Latinaque venit

Littora. Multum ille et terris vexatus, et alto,
Vi superûm-

Ab aris, nempe Hercæi Jovis, vide lib. ii. ver. 512, 550-flatu ventorum Eoli, ut sequitur-Latina certe littora cum Eneas aderat, Lavina non nisi postea ab ipso nominata, lib. xii. ver. 193-jactatus terris non convenit.

II. VER. 52.

Et quisquis numen Junonis adoret?

Et quisquis nomen Junonis adoret ?

Jamque faces et saxa volant, furor arma ministrat.
Jam fæces et saxa volant, fugiuntque ministri:

solent, instanti pericula-Faces facibus longe præstant, quid enim nisi fæces jactarent vulgus sordidum?

Aspicit errantes: hos agmina tota sequuntur
A tergo-

Cervi, lectio vulgata, absurditas notissima; hæc animalia in Africa non inventa, quis nescit? at motus et ambulandi ritus corvorum, quis non agnovit hoc loco Littore, locus ubi errant corvi, uti noster alibi

Et sola in sicca secum spatiatur arena. Omen præclarissimum, immò et agminibus militum frequenter observatum, ut patet ex historicis. XI. VER. 748.

Arcturum, pluviasque Hyades, geminosque Triones. Error gravissimus. Corrigo,—septemque Triones. XII. VER. 631.

Quare agite, O juvenes tectis succedite nostris. Lectius potius dicebat Dido, polita magis oratione, et quæ unica voce et torum et mensam exprimebat ; Hanc lectionem probe confirmat appellatio O ju

III. VER. 86.

Venti, velut agmine facto Qua data porta ruunt

Duplicem hunc sensum alibi etiam Maro lepide innuit, Æn. iv. ver. 19.

Huic uni forsan potui succumbere culpæ :
Anna fatebor enim-

Sic corriges,

Huic uni viro scil.] potui succumbere; culpas?
Anna! fatebor enim, etc.
Vox succumbere quam eleganter ambigua!
LIBER SECUNDUS. VER. 1.
Conticuere omnes, intentique ora tenebant,
Iude toro pater Æneas sic orsus ab alto.
Concubuere omnes, intentèque ora tenebant;
Inde toro satur Eneas sic orsus ab alto.

Concubuere, quia toro Eneam vidimus accumbentem: quin et altera ratio, scil. conticuere et ora tenebant, tautologicè dictum. In manuscripto perquam rarissimo in patris musæo, legitur, ore gemebant; sed magis ingeniosè quam verè. Satur Æneas, quippe qui jamjam a prandio surrexit: pater nihil ad rem.

II. VER. 3.

Infandum, regina, jubes renovare dolorem.

Infantum, regina, jubes renovare dolorem.

Sic haud dubito veterrimis codicibus scriptum fuisse; quod satis constat ex perantiquâ illâ Britannorum cantilenâ vocatâ Chevy Chace, cujus autor hunc locum sibi ascivit in hæc verba :

The child may rue that is unborn.

III. VER. 4.

Trojanas ut opes, et lamentabile regnum
Eruerint Danai.

Trojanas ut oves et lamentabile regnum
Diruerint.

Mallem oves potiùs quàm opes, quoniam in antiquissimis illis temporibus oves et armenta divitiæ regum fuere. Vel fortasse oves Paridis innuit, quas super Idam nuperrime pascebat, et jam in vindictam pro Helenæ raptu, a Menelao, Ajace, [vid. Hor. Sat. ii. 3.] aliisque ducibus, merito occisas.

IV. VER. 5.

Quæque ipse miserrima vidi,
Et quorum pars magna fui.

Quæque ipse miserrimus audi,
Et quorum pars magna fui---

Omnia tam audita quam visa recta distinctione enarrare hic Eneas profitetur: multa quorum nox ea fatalis sola conscia fuit, vir probus et pius tamquam visa referre non potuit.

V. VER. 7.

Quis talia fando

Temperet a lachrymis?

Quis talia flendo, Temperet in lachrymis ?

Major enim doloris indicatio, absque modo lacrymare, àm solummodo a lacrymis non tempe

rare.

VI. VER. 9.

Et jam nox humida cœlo

Præcipitat, suadentque cadentia sydera somnos.
Et jam nox lumina cœlo

Præcipitat, suadentque latentia sydera somnos. Lectio, humida, vespertinum rorem solùm innuere videtur magis mi arridet lumina, quæ latentia postquam præcipitantur, auroræ adventum annunciant.

Sed si tantus amor casus cognoscere nostros, Et breviter Trojæ supremum audire laborem. Sed si tantus amor curas cognoscere noctis, Et breve ter Troja superumque audire labores. Cura Noctis (scilicet noctis excidii Trojani) magis compendiosè (vel, ut dixit ipse, breviter) totam belli catastrophen denotat, quàm diffusa illa et indeterminata lectio, casus nostros. Ter audire gratum fuisse Didoni, patet ex libro quarto, ubi dicitur, Iliacosque iterum demens audire labores exposcit: Ter enim pro sæpe usurpatur. Troje, superumque labores, rectè, quia non tantum homines sed et Dii

Tracti bello, fatisque repulsi.

Tracti et repulsi, antithesis perpulchra! Fracti, frigidè et vulgaritèr.

Equum jam Trojanum (ut vulgus loquitur) adeamus: quem si equam Græcam vocabis, lector, minime pecces: solæ enim femellæ utero gestant. Uterumque armato milite complent-Uteroque recusso insonuere cave-Atque utero sonitum quater arma dedere-Inclusos utero Danaos, &c. Vox fæta non convenit maribus-Scandit fatalis machina muros, Fæta armis-Palladem virginem, equo mari fabricando invigilare decuisse, quis putat? incredibile prorsus! Quamobrem existimo veram equa lectionem passim restituendam, nisi ubi forte, metri caussa, equum potius quam equam, genus pro sexu, dixit Maro. Vale! dum hæc paucula corriges, majus opus

moveo.

AN ESSAY ON THE LEARNED

MARTINUS SCRIBLERUS,

CONCERNING THE ORIGIN OF SCIENCES Written to the most learned Dr.➖➖➖, F.R.S., from the deserts of Nubia.

AMONG all the inquiries which have been pursued by the curious and inquisitive there is none more Worthy the search of a learned head than the source

from whence we derive those arts and sciences which raise us so far above the vulgar, the countries in which they rose, and the channels by which they have been conveyed. As those who first brought them among us attained them by travelling into the remotest parts of the earth, I may boast of some advantages by the same means, since I write this from the deserts of Ethiopia, from those plains of sand which have buried the pride of invading armies, with my foot perhaps at this instant ten fathom below the grave of Cambyses; a solitude to which neither Pythagoras nor Apollonius ever penetrated.

It is universally agreed that arts and sciences were derived to us from the Egyptians and Indians; but from whom they first received them is as yet a secret. The highest period of time to which the learned attempt to trace them is the beginning of the Assyrian monarchy, when their inventors were worshipped as gods. It is therefore necessary to go backward into times even more remote, and to gain some knowledge of their history from whatever dark and broken hints may any way be found in ancient authors concerning them.

Nor Troy nor Thebes were the first of empires; we have mention, though not histories, of an earlier warlike people called the Pygmæans. I cannot but persuade myself, from those accounts in Homer [Hom. II. iii.], Aristotle, and others, of their history, wars, and revolutions, and from the very air in which those authors speak of them as of things known, that they were then a part of the study of the learned. And though all we directly hear is of their military

achievements in the brave defence of their country from the annual invasions of a powerful enemy, yet I cannot doubt but that they excelled as much in the arts of peaceful government: though there remain no traces of their civil institutions. Empires as great have been swallowed up in the wreck of time, and such sudden periods have been put to them as occasion a total ignorance of their story. And if I should conjecture that the like happened to this nation, from a general extirpation of the people by those flocks of monstrous birds wherewith antiquity agrees they were continually infested, it ought not to seem more incredible than that one of the Baleares was wasted by rabbits, Smynthe by mice [Eustathius in Hom. II. i.], and of late Bermudas almost depopulated by rats [Speede, in Bermudas]. Nothing is more natural to imagine than that the few survivors of that empire retired into the depths of their deserts, where they lived undisturbed till they were found out by Osiris in his travels to instruct mankind. "Hemet," says Diodorus [1.i. ch. 18.], "in Ethiopia a sort of little satyrs who were hairy one half of their body, and whose leader Pan accompanied him in his expedition for the civilising of mankind." Now of this great personage, Pan, we have a very particular description in the ancient writers, who unanimously agree to represent him shaggy-bearded, hairy all over, half a man and half a beast, and walking erect with a staff, the posture in which his race do to this day appear among us. And since the chief thing to which he applied himself was the civilising of mankind, it should seem that the first principles of science must be received from that nation to which the gods were by Homer [Il. i.] said to resort twelve days every year for the conversation of its wise and just inhabitants.

If from Egypt we proceed to take a view of India, we shall find that their knowledge also derived itself from the same source. To that country did these noble creatures accompany Bacchus in his expedition under the conduct of Silenus, who is also described to us with the same marks and qualifications. "Mankind is ignorant," saith Diodorus [1. iii. ch. 69], "whence Silenus derived his birth, through his great antiquity; but he had a tail on his loins, as likewise had all his progeny, in sign of their descent." Here then they settled a colony, which to this day subsists with the same tails. From this time they seem to have communicated themselves only to those men who retired from the converse of their own species to a more uninterrupted life of contemplation. I am much inclined to believe that in the midst of those solitudes they instituted the much celebrated order of gymnosophists. For whoever observes the scene and manner of their life will easily find them to have imitated with all the exactness imaginable the manners and customs of their masters and instructors. They are said to dwell in the thickest woods, to go naked, to suffer their bodies to be overrun with hair, and their nails to grow to a prodigious length. Plutarch says [in his Oration on Alexander's Fortune], "they eat what they could get in the fields, their drink was water, and their beds made of leaves or moss." And Herodotus [1. i.] tells us that they esteemed it a great exploit to kill very many ants or creeping things.

Hence we see that the two nations which contend for the origin of learning are the same that have ever most abounded with this ingenious race. Though they have contested which was first blest with the rise of science, yet have they conspired in being grateful to their common masters. Egypt is so well known to have worshipped them of old in their own images, and India may be credibly supposed to have

done the same, from that adoration which they paid in latter times to the tooth of one of these hairy philosophers, in just gratitude as it should seem to the mouth from which they received their knowledge.

Pass we now over into Greece, where we find Orpheus returning out of Egypt with the same intent as Osiris and Bacchus made their expeditions. From this period it was that Greece first heard the name of satyrs or owned them for semidei. And hence it is surely reasonable to conclude that he brought some of this wonderful species along with him, who also had a leader of the line of Pan, of the same name, and expressly called king by Theocritus. 'Ava. Id. i.] If thus much be allowed, we easily account for two of the strongest reports in all antiquity. One is, that of the beasts following the music of Orpheus, which has been interpreted of his taming savage tempers, but will thus have a literal application. The other, which we most insist upon, is the fabulous story of the gods compressing women in woods under bestial appearances, which will be solved by the love these sages are known to bear to the females of our kind. I am sensible it may be objected that they are said to have been compressed in the shape of different animals; but to this we answer, that women under such apprehensions hardly know what shape they have to deal with.

From what has been last said it is highly credible that to this ancient and generous race the world is indebted, if not for the heroes at least for the acutest wits of antiquity. One of the most remarkable instances is that great mimic genius, Esop [Vit. Esop. initio.], for whose extraction from these sylvestres homines we may gather an argument from Planudes, who says that Esop signifies the same thing as Ethiop, the original nation of our people. For a second argument we may offer the description of his person, which was short, deformed, and almost savage, insomuch that he might have lived in the woods had not the benevolence of his temper made him rather adapt himself to our manners, and come to court in wearing-apparel. The third proof is his acute and satirical wit. And lastly, his great knowledge in the nature of beasts, together with the natural pleasure he took to speak of them upon all occasions.

The next instance I shall produce is Socrates. [See Plato and Xenophon]. First, it was a tradition that he was of an uncommon birth from the rest of men. Secondly, he had a countenance confessing the line he sprung from, being bald, flat-nosed, with prominent eyes, and a downward look. Thirdly, he turned certain fables of Æsop into verse, probably out of the respect to beasts in general, and love to his family in particular.

In process of time the women with whom these Sylvans would have lovingly cohabited were either taught by mankind, or induced by an abhorrence of their shapes, to shun their embraces, so that our sages were necessitated to mix with beasts. This by degrees occasioned the hair of their posterity to grow higher than their middles; it rose in one generation to their arms; in the second it invaded their necks; in the third it gained the ascendant of their heads, till the degenerate appearance in which the species is now immersed became completed, though we must here observe that there were a few who fell not under the common calamity, there being some unprejudiced women in every age, by virtue of whom a total extinction of the original race was prevented. It is remarkable also, that even where they were mixed the defection from their nature was not so

To proceed to Italy. At the first appearance of these wild philosophers there were some of the least mixed who vouchsafed to converse with mankind, which is evident from the name of Fauns [Livy], à fando, or speaking. Such was he who, coming out of the woods in hatred to tyranny, encouraged the Roman army to proceed against the Hetruscans, who would have restored Tarquin. But here, as in all the western parts of the world, there was a great and memorable era, in which they began to be silent. This we may place something near the time of Aristotle, when the number, vanity, and folly of human philosophers increased, by which men's heads became too much puzzled to receive the simpler wisdom of these ancient Sylvans; the questions of that academy were too numerous to be consistent with their ease to answer, and too intricate, extravagant, idle, or pernicious, to be any other than a derision or scorn unto them. From this period, if we ever hear of their giving answers, it is only when caught, bound, and constrained, in like manner as was that ancient Grecian prophet, Proteus.

Accordingly we read in Sylla's [vid. Plutarch in Vit. Syllæ] time of such a philosopher taken near Dyrrachium, who would not be persuaded to give them a lecture by all they could say to him, and only showed his power in sounds by neighing like a horse.

But a more successful attempt was made in Augustus's reign by the inquisitive genius of the great Virgil, whom, together with Varus, the commentators suppose to have been the true persons who are related in the sixth Bucolic to have caught a philosopher, and doubtless a genuine one, of the race of the old Silenus. To prevail upon him to be communicative (of the importance of which Virgil was well aware), they not only tied him fast, but allured him likewise by a courteous present of a comely maiden called Egle, which made him sing both merrily and instructively. In this song we have their doctrine of the creation, the same in all propability as was taught so many ages before in the great Pygmæan empire, and several hieroglyphical fables, under which they couched or embellished their morals. For which reason I look upon this Bucolic as an inestimable treasure of the most ancient science.

In the reign of Constantine we hear of another taken in a net and brought to Alexandria, round whom the people flocked to hear his wisdom, but, as Ammianus Marcellinus reporteth, he proved a dumb philosopher, and only instructed by action.

The last we shall speak of who seemeth to be of the true race is said by St. Jerome to have met St. Anthony [Vit. St. Ant.] in a desert, who inquiring the way of him, he showed his understanding and courtesy by pointing, but would not answer, for he was a dumb philosopher also.

These are all the notices which I am at present able to gather of the appearance of so great and learned a people on your side of the world. But if we return to their ancient native seats, Africa and India, we shall there find, even in modern times, many traces of their original conduct and valour.

In Africa (as we read among the indefatigable

But I must leave all others at present to celebrate the praise of two of their unparalleled monarchs in India. The one was Perimal the magnificent, a prince most learned and communicative, to whom in Malabar their excess of zeal dedicated a temple raised on seven hundred pillars, not inferior in Maffæus's [1. i.] opinion to those of Agrippa in the Pantheon. The other, Hanimant the marvellous, his relation and successor, whose knowledge was so great as made his followers doubt if even that wise species could arrive at such perfection, and therefore they rather imagined him and his race a sort of gods formed into apes. His was the tooth which the Portuguese took in Bisnagar, 1559, for which the Indians offered, according to Linschotten [ch. 44.], the immense sum of seven hundred thousand ducats. Nor let me quit this head without mentioning with all due respect Orang Outang the great, the last of this line, whose unhappy chance it was to fall into the hands of Europeans. Orang Outang, whose value was not known to us, for he was a mute philosopher: Orang Outang, by whose dissection the learned Dr. Tysona has added a confirmation to this system, from the resemblance between the homo sylvestris and our human body, in those organs by which the rational soul is exerted.

We must now descend to consider this people as sunk into the bruta natura by their continual commerce with beasts. Yet even at this time what experiments do they not afford us of relieving some from the spleen and others from imposthumes, by occasioning laughter at proper seasons; with what readiness do they enter into the imitation of whatever is remarkable in human life! and what surprising relations have le Comteb and others given of their appetites, actions, conceptions, affections, varieties of imaginations, and abilities capable of pursuing them! If under their present low circumstances of birth and breeding, and in so short a term of life as is now allotted them, they so far exceed all beasts, and equal many men, what prodigies may we not conceive of those who were nati melioribus annis, those primitive, longeval, and antediluvian man-tigers who first taught science to the world!

This account, which is entirely my own, I am proud to imagine has traced knowledge from a fountain correspondent to several opinions of the ancients, though hitherto undiscovered both by them and the more ingenious moderns. And now what shall I say to mankind in the thought of this great discovery? what but that they should abate their pride and consider that the authors of our knowledge are among the beasts? that these, who were our elder brothers by a day in the creation, whose kingdom (like that in the scheme of Plato) was governed by philosophers who flourished with learning in Æthiopia and India, are now distinguished and known only by the same appellation as the man-tiger and the monkey?

As to speech, I make no question that there are remains of the first and less corrupted race in their native deserts, who yet have the power of it. But the vulgar reason given by the Spaniards, "that they will not speak for fear of being set to work," is alone a sufficient one, considering how exceedingly all other learned persons affect their ease. A second is, that these observant creatures, having been eye-witnesses of the cruelty with which that nation treated Dr. Tyson's Anatomy of a Pigmy, 4to,

b Father le Comte, a Jesuit, in the account of his trave.s.