made to impress my wife with an opinion of my sagacity: for if the girls succeeded, then it was a pious wish fulfilled; but if any thing unfortunate ensued, then it might be looked upon as a prophecy. All this conversation, however, was only preparatory to another eloquence, the two ladies looked at each other a few minutes in silence, with an air of doubt and importance. At last Miss Carolina Wilhelmina Amelia Skeggs condescended to observe, that the young ladies, from the opinion she could form of them from so slight an acquaintance, seemed very fit for such employ-scheme, and indeed I dreaded as much. This ments: "But a thing of this kind, madam." cried she, addressing my spouse, "requires a thorough examination into characters, and a more perfect knowledge of each other. Not, madam," continued she, "that I in the least suspect the young ladies' virtue, prudence, and discretion; but there is a form in these things, Madam, there is a form." was nothing less than that, as we were now to hold up our heads a little higher in the world, it would be proper to sell the colt, which was grown old, at a neighbouring fair, and buy us a horse that would carry single or double upon an occasion, and make a pretty appearance at church, or upon a visit. This at first I opposed stoutly; but it was as stoutly deMy wife approved her suspicions very much, fended. However, as I weakened, my antaobserving that she was very apt to be suspici-gonists gained strength, till at last it was reous herself; but referred her to all the neigh-solved to part with him. bours for a character: but this our Peeress declined as unnecessary, alleging that her cousin Thornhill's recommendation would be sufficient, and upon this we rested our petition. CHAPTER XII. FORTUNE SEEMS RESOLVED TO HUMBLE THE FAMILY OF WAKEFIELD. MORTIFICATIONS ARE OFTEN MORE PAINFUL THAN REAL CA LAMITIES. WHEN we returned home, the night was dedicated to schemes of future conquest. Deborah exerted much sagacity in conjecturing which of the two girls was likely to have the best place, and most opportunities of seeing good company. The only obstacle to our preferment was in obtaining the Squire's recom. mendation; but he had already shown us too many instances of his friendship to doubt of it now. Even in bed my wife kept up the usual theme: "Well, faith, my dear Charles, between ourselves, I think we have made an excellent day's work of it."-" Pretty well," cried I, not knowing what to say." What! only pretty well!" returned she. "I think it is very well. Suppose the girls should come to make acquaintances of taste in town! This I am assured of, that London is the only place in the world for all manner of husbands. Besides, my dear, stranger things happen every day and as ladies of quality are so taken with my daughters, what will not men of quality be?-Entre nous, I protest I like my Lady Blarney vastly, so very obliging. However, Miss Carolina Wilhelmina Amelia Skeggs has my warm heart. But yet, when they came to talk of places in town, you saw at once how I nailed them. Tell me, my dear, don't you think I did for my children there ?"-" Ay," returned I, not knowing well what to think of the matter, Heaven grant they may be both the better for it this day three months!" This was one of those observations I usually : wife As the fair happened on the following day, I had intentions of going myself; but my persuaded me that I had got a cold, and nothing could prevail upon her to permit me from home. "No, my dear," said she, “our son Moses is a discreet boy, and can buy and sell to a very good advantage; you know all our great bargains are of his purchasing. always stands out and higgles, and actually tires them till he gets a bargain." He As I had some opinion of my son's prudence, I was willing enough to intrust him with his commission; and the next morning I perceived his sisters mighty busy in fitting out Moses for the fair; trimming his hair, brushing his buckles, and cocking his hat with pins. The business of the toilet being over, we had at last the satisfaction of seeing him mounted upon the colt, with a deal box before him to bring home groceries in. He had on a coat made of that cloth they called thunder and lightning, which, though grown too short, was much too good to be thrown away. His waistcoat was of gosling green, and his sisters had tied his hair with a broad black riband. We all followed him several paces from the door, bawling after him good luck, good luck, till we could see him no longer. He was scarcely gone, when Mr Thornhill's butler came to congratulate us upon our good fortune, saying, that he overheard his young master mention our names with great commendation. 66 Good fortune seemed resolved not to come alone. Another footman from the same family followed, with a card for my daughters, importing that the two ladies had received such pleasing accounts from Mr Thornhill of us all, that, after a few previous inquiries, they hoped to be perfectly satisfied. Ay," cried my wife, "I now see it is no easy matter to get into the families of the great; but when one once gets in, then, as Moses says, one may go to sleep." To this piece of humour, for she intented it for wit, my daughters assented with a loud laugh of pleasure. In short, such was her satisfaction at this mes sage, that she actually put her hand in her pocket, and ave the messenger sevenpence halfpenny. breast: "here they are ; a gross of green spectacles, with silver rims and shagreen cases.""A gross of green spectacles!" repeated my This was to be our visiting day. The next wife in a faint voice. "And you have parted that came was Mr Burchell, who had been at with the colt, and brought us back nothing but the fair. He brought my little ones a penny- a gross of green paltry spectacles!"-"Dear worth of gingerbread each, which my wife un- mother," cried the boy, "why won't you listen dertook to keep for them, and give them by to reason? I had them a dead bargain, or I letters at a time. He brought my daughters should not have bought them. The silver rims also a couple of boxes, in which they might alone will sell for double the money."—" A keep wafers, snuff, patches, or even money, fig for the silver rims," cried my wife in a paswhen they got it. My wife was usually fond sion: "I dare swear they won't sell for above of a weasel-skin purse, as being the most half the money at the rate of broken silver, lucky; but this by the bye. We had still a five shillings an ounce."-" You need be unregard for Mr Burchell, though his late rude der no uneasiness," cried I, "about selling the behaviour was in some measure displeasing; rims, for they are not worth sixpence; for I nor could we now avoid communicating our perceive they are only copper varnished over." happiness to him, and asking his advice: al-—“ What," cried my wife, "not silver! the though we seldom followed advice, we were all ready enough to ask it. When he read the note from the two ladies, he shook his head, and observed, that an affair of this sort demanded the utmost circumspection.-This air of diffidence highly displeased my wife. "I never doubted, Sir," cried she, " your readiness to be against my daughters and me. You have more circumspection than is wanted. However, I fancy when we come to ask advice, we will apply to persons who seem to have made use of it themselves."-" Whatever my own conduct may have been, Madam," replied he, "is not the present question: though as I have made no use of advice myself, I should in conscience give it to those that will."-As I was apprehensive this answer might draw on a repartee, making up by abuse what it wanted in wit, I changed the subject, by seeming to wonder what could keep our son so long at the fair, as it was now almost night-fall." Never mind our son," cried my wife, "depend upon it he knows what he is about. I'll warrant we'll never see him sell his hen of a rainy day. I have seen him buy such bargains as would amaze one. I'll tell you a good story about that, that will make you split your sides with laughing.-But as I live, yonder comes Moses, without a horse rims not silver!" "No," cried I, “no more silver than your saucepan."-" And so," returned she, "we have parted with the colt, and have only got a gross of green spectacles, with copper rims and shagreen cases! A murrain take such trumpery. The blockhead has been imposed upon, and should have known his company better."-" There, my dear," cried I, "you are wrong, he should not have known them at all."-" Marry, hang the idiot," returned she, "to bring me such stuff; if I had them I would throw them in the fire." "There again you are wrong, my dear," cried I; "for though they be copper, we will keep them by us, as copper spectacles, you know, are better than nothing." A By this time the unfortunate Moses was undeceived. He now saw that he had been imposed upon by a prowling sharper, who observing his figure, had marked him for an easy prey. I therefore asked the circumstance of his deception. He sold the horse, it seems, and walked the fair in search of another. reverend looking man brought him to a tent, under a pretence of having one to sell. "Here," continued Moses, "we met another man, very well dressed, who desired to borrow twenty pounds upon these, saying that he wanted money, and would dispose of them for a third of their value. The first gentleman, As she spoke Moses came slowly on foot, who pretended to be my friend, whispered me and sweating under the deal box, which he had to buy them, and cautioned me not to let so strapt round his shoulders like a pedlar.-good an offer pass. I sent for Mr Flambor "Welcome, welcome, Moses: well, my boy, ough, and they talked him up as finely as they what have you brought us from the fair?" did me, and so at last we were persuaded to "I have brought you myself," cried Moses, buy the two gross between us." with a sly look, and resting the box on the dresser." Ah, Moses," cried my wife, "that we know; but where is the horse?" "I have sold him," cried Moses, for three pounds five shillings and twopence.""Well done, my and the box at his back." CHAPTER XIII. good boy," returned she; "I knew you would MR BURCHELL IS FOUND TO BE AN ENEMY; touch them off. Between ourselves, three pounds five shillings and twopence is no bad day's work. Come let us have it then."-" I have brought back no money," cried Moses again. "I have laid it all out on a bargain, and here it is," pulling out a bundle from his FOR HE HAS THE CONFIDENCE TO GIVE DIJ- OUR family had now made several attempts to be fine; but some unforeseen disaster de molished each as soon as projected. I endea voured to take the advantage of every disappointment, to improve their good sense in proportion as they were frustrated in ambition. "You see, my children," cried I, "how little is to be got by attempts to impose upon the world, in coping with our betters. Such as are poor, and will associate with none but the rich, are hated by those they avoid, and despised by those they follow. Unequal combinations are always disadvantageous to the weaker side: the rich having the pleasure, and the poor the inconveniences that result from them. But come, Dick, my boy, and repeat the fable that you were reading to day, for the good of the company." dour, and I stood neuter. His present dissuasions seemed but the second part of those which were received with so ill a grace in the morning. The dispute grew high, while poor Deborah, instead of reasoning stronger, talked louder, and at last was obliged to take shelter from a defeat in clamour. The conclusion of her harangue, however, was highly displeasing to us all: she knew, she said, of some who had their own secret reasons for what they advised; but, for her part, she wished such to stay away from her house for the future. -"Madam," cried Burchell, with looks of great composure, which tended to inflame her more," as for secret reasons, you are right; I have secret reasons, which I forbear to mention, because you are not able to answer those of which I make no secret: but I find my my leave therefore now, and perhaps come once more to take a final farewell when I am quitting the country." Thus saying he took up his hat, nor could the attempts of Sophia, whose looks seemed to upbraid his precipi tancy, prevent his going. When gone, we all regarded each other for some minutes with confusion. My wife, who knew herself to be the cause, strove to hide her concern with a forced smile, and an air of assurance, which I was willing to reprove : 66 "Once upon a time," cried the child, "a Giant and a Dwarf were friends and kept together. They made a bargain that they would never forsake each other, but go seek adven-visits here are become troublesome; I'll take tures. The first battle they fought was with two Saracens, and the Dwarf, who was very courageous, dealt one of the champions a most angry blow. It did the Saracen very little injury, who lifting up his sword, fairly struck off the poor Dwarf's arm. He was now in a woeful plight; but the Giant coming to his assistance, in a short time left the two Saracens dead on the plain, and the Dwarf cut off the dead man's head out of spite. They then travelled on to another adventure. This was against three bloody-minded Satyrs, who were How, woman," cried I to her, "is it thus carrying away a damsel in distress. The we treat strangers? Is it thus we return Dwarf was not quite so fierce now as before; their kindness? Be assured, my dear, that but for all that struck the first blow, which these were the harshest words, and to me the was returned by another, that knocked out his most unpleasing that ever escaped your lips!" eye; but the Giant was soon up with them, "Why would he provoke me then?" reand had they not fled, would certainly have plied she; "but I know the motives of his killed them every one. They were all very advice perfectly well. He would prevent my joyful for this victory, and the damsel who was girls from going to town, that he may have relieved fell in love with the Giant, and mar- the pleasure of my youngest daughter's comried him. They now travelled far, and farther pany here at home. But whatever happens, than I can tell, till they met with a company she shall choose better company than such of robbers. The Giant, for the first time, low-lived fellows as he."-" Low-lived, my was foremost now; but the Dwarf was not far dear, do you call him?" cried I; "it is very behind. The battle was stout and long. possible we may mistake this man's character, Wherever the Giant came, all fell before him; for he seems upon some occasions the most but the Dwarf had like to have been killed finished gentleman I ever knew.-Tell me, more than once. At last the victory declared Sophia, my girl, has he ever given you any for the two adventurers; but the Dwarf lost secret instances of his attachment ?"—" His his leg. The Dwarf was now without an arm, conversation with me, Sir," replied my daugha leg, and an eye, while the Giant was with- ter, "has ever been sensible, modest, and out a single wound. Upon which he cried out pleasing. As to aught else, no, never. to his little companion, my little hero, this is Once, indeed, I remember to have heard him glorious sport! let us get one victory more, say, he never knew a woman who could find and then we shall have honour for ever. No, merit in a man that seemed poor."-" Such, cries the Dwarf, who was by this time grown my dear," cried I, "is the common cant of all wiser, no, I declare off; I'll fight no more: for the unfortunate or idle. But I hope you have I find in every battle that you get all the honour been taught to judge properly of such men, and rewards, but all the blows fall upon me." and that it would be even madness to expect I was going to moralize this fable, when our happiness from one who has been so very bad attention was called off to a warm dispute be- an economist of his own. Your mother and tween my wife and Mr Burchell, upon my I have now better prospects for you. The daughters' intended expedition to town. My next winter, which you will probably spend in wife very strenuously insisted upon the advan- town, will give you opportunities of making a tages that would result from it; Mr Burchell more prudent choice." on the contrary, dissuaded her with great ar What Sophia's reflections were upon this occasion I can't pretend to determine; but I was not displeased at the bottom, that we were rid of a guest from whom I had much to fear. Our breach of hospitality went to my conscience a little; but I quickly silenced that monitor by two or three specious reasons, which served to satisfy and reconcile me to myself. The pain which conscience gives the man who has already done wrong, is soon got over. Conscience is a coward, and those faults it has not strength enough to prevent, it seldom has justice enough to accuse. CHAPTER XIV. FRESH MORTIFICATIONS, OR A DEMONSTRATION THAT SEEMING CALAMITIES MAY BE REAL BLESSINGS. The THE journey of my daughters to town was now resolved upon, Mr Thornhill having kindly promised to inspect their conduct himseif, and inform us by letter of their behaviour. But it was thought indispensably necessary that their appearance should equal the greatness of their expectations, which could not be done without expense. We debated therefore in full council what were the easiest methods of raising money, or more properly speaking, what we could most conveniently sell. deliberation was soon finished; it was found that our remaining horse was utterly useless for the plough, without his companion, and equally unfit for the road, as wanting an eye; it was therefore determined that we should dispose of him for the purposes above mentioned, at the neighbouring fair, and, to prevent imposition, that I should go with him myself. Though this was one of the first mercantile transactions of my life, yet I had no doubt about acquitting myself with reputation. The opinion a man forms of his own prudence is measured by that of the company he keeps; and as mine was mostly in the family way, I had conceived no unfavourable sentiments of my worldly wisdom. My wife, however, next morning, at parting, after I had got some paces from the door, called me back, to advise me, in a whisper, to have all my eyes about me. I had, in the usual forms, when I came to the fair, put my horse through all his paces; but for some time had no bidders. At last a chapman approached, and after he had for a good while examined the horse round, finding him blind of one eye, he would have nothing to say to him: a second came up, but observing he had a spavin, declared he would not take him for the driving home: a third perceived he had a windgall, and would bid no money: a fourth knew by his eye that he had the botts a fifth wondered what a plague I could do at the fair with a blind, spavined, galled hack, that was only fit to be cut up for a dog-kennel. By this time I began to have a most hearty contempt for the poor animal myself, and was almost ashamed at the approach of every customer; for though I did not entirely believe all the fellows told me, yet I reflected that the number of witnesses was a strong presumption they were right; and St Gregory, upon Good Works, professes himself to be of the same opinion. I was in this mortifying situation, when a brother clergyman, an old acquaintance, who had also business at the fair, came up, and shaking me by the hand, proposed adjourning to a public-house, and taking a glass of whatever we could get. I readily closed with the offer, and entering an ale-house, we were shown into a little back room, where there was only a venerable old man, who sat wholly intent over a large book, which he was reading. I never in my life saw a figure that prepossessed me more favourably. His locks of silver grey venerably shaded his temples, and his green old age seemed to be the result of health and benevolence. However, his presence did not interrupt our conversation; my friend and I discoursed on the various turns of fortune we had met; the Whistonian controversy, my last pamphlet, the archdeacon's reply, and the hard measure that was dealt me. But our attention was in a short time taken off by the appearance of a youth, who, entering the room, respectfully said something softly to the old stranger. "Make no apologies, my child,” said the old man, "to do good is a duty we owe to all our fellow-creatures; take this, I wish it were more; but five pounds will relieve your distress, and you are welcome." The modest youth shed tears of gratitude, and yet his gratitude was scarcely equal to mine. I could have hugged the good old man in my arms, his benevolence pleased me so. He continued to read, and we resumed our conversation, until my companion, after some time, recollecting that he had business to transact in the fair, promised to be soon back; adding, that he always desired to have as much of Dr Primrose's company as possible. The old gentleman hearing my name mentioned, seemed to look at me with attention for some time, and when my friend was gone, most respectfully demanded if I was any way related to the great Primrose, that courageous monogamist, who had been the bulwark of the church. Never did my heart feel sincerer rapture than at that moment. 66 Sir," cried I, "the applause of so good a man, as I am sure you are, adds to that happiness in my breast which your benevolence has already excited. You behold before you, Sir, that Dr Primrose, the monogamist, whom you have been pleased to call great. You here see that unfortunate divine, who has so long, and it would ill become me to say, successfully, fought against the deuterogamy of the age."-"Sir," cried the stranger, struck with awe, "I fear I have been too familiar; but you'll forgive my curiosity, Sir: I beg pardon." Sir," cried I, grasping his hand, “you are so 66 his ability. The draft was signed, and put into my hands, and Mr Jenkinson, the old gentleman, his man Abraham, and my horse, old Blackberry, trotted off very well pleased with each other. far from displeasing me by your familiarity, in a very genteel livery. "Here, Abraham." that I must beg you'll accept my friendship, as cried he, go and get gold for this; you'll do it you already have my esteem."" Then with at neighbour Jackson's, or any where." gratitude I accept the offer," cried he, squeez- While the fellow was gone, he entertained me ing me by the hand, "thou glorious pillar of with a pathetic harangue on the great scarcity unshaken orthodoxy! and do I behold-" I of silver, which I undertook to improve, by here interrupted what he was going to say; deploring also the great scarcity of gold; so for though, as an author, I could digest no that by the time Abraham returned, we had small share of flattery, yet now my modesty both agreed that money was never so hard to would permit no more. However, no lovers be come at as now. Abraham returned to in romance ever cemented a more instantane- inform us, that he had been over the whole ous friendship. We talked upon several sub- fair, and could not get change, though he had jects at first I thought he seemed rather de- offered half a crown for doing it. This was vout than learned, and began to think he de- a very great disappointment to us all; but the spised all human doctrines as dross. Yet old gentleman, having paused a little, asked this no way lessened him in my esteem; for me if I knew one Solomon Flamborough in I had for some time begun privately to har- my part of the country. Upon replying that bour such an opinion of myself. I therefore he was my next-door neighbour; "If that be took occasion to observe, that the world in the case then," returned he, "I believe we general began to be blamably indifferent as to shall deal. You shall have a draft upon him, doctrinal matters, and followed human specu- payable at sight; and let me tell you, he is as lations too much.--" Ay, Sir," replied he, as warm a man as any within five miles round if he had reserved all his learning to that mo- him. Honest Solomon and I have been acment, "Ay, Sir, the world is in its dotage, and quainted for many years together. I remember yet the cosmogony or creation of the world I always beat him at three jumps; but he has puzzled philosophers of all ages. What could hop on one leg farther than I." A a medley of opinions have they not broached draft upon my neighbour was to me the same upon the creation of the world! Sanchonia- as money; for I was sufficiently convinced of thon, Manetho, Berosus, and Ocellus Lucanus, have all attempted it in vain. The latter has these words, Anarchon ara kai atelutaion to pan, which imply that all things have neither beginning nor end. Manetho also, who lived about the time of Nebuchadon-Asser,-Asser After a short interval, being left to reflecbeing a Syriac word usually applied as a sur- tion, I began to recollect that I had done name to the kings of that country, as Teglat wrong in taking a draft from a stranger, and Phael-Asser, Nabon-Asser,-he, I say, form- so prudently resolved upon following the pured a conjecture equally absurd; for as we chaser, and having back my horse. But this usually say, ek to biblion kubernetes, which was now too late: I therefore made directly implies that books will never teach the world; homewards, resolving to get the draft changed so he attempted to investigate-But, Sir, I into money at my friend's as fast as possible. ask pardon, I am straying from the question." I found my honest neighbour smoking his pipe -That he actually was; nor could I for my at his own door, and informing him that I had life see how the creation of the world had any a small bill upon him, he read it twice over. thing to do with the business I was talking of; "You can read the name, I suppose," cried but it was sufficient to show me that he was a I," Ephraim Jenkinson."-" Yes," returned man of letters, and now I reverenced him the he, "the name is written plain enough, and I more. I was resolved therefore to bring him know the gentleman too, the greatest rascal to the touchstone; but he was too mild and under the canopy of heaven. This is the too gentle to contend for victory. Whenever very same rogue who sold us the spectacles. I made an observation that looked like a chal- Was he not a venerable looking man, with lenge to controversy, he would smile, shake grey hair, and no flaps to his pocket-holes? his head, and say nothing; by which, I un- And did he not talk a long string of learning derstood he could say much, if he thought about Greek, and cosmogony, and the world? proper. The subject therefore insensibly To this I replied with a groan. "Ay," conchanged from the business of antiquity to that tinued he, "he has but that one piece of which brought us both to the fair: mine, I learning in the world, and he always talks it told him, was to sell a horse, and very luckily away whenever he finds a scholar in comindeed, his was to buy one for one of his ten-pany; but I know the rogue, and will catch ants. My horse was soon produced, and in him yet." fine we struck a bargain. Nothing now remained but to pay me, and he accordingly pulled out a thirty pound note, and bid me change it. Not being in a capacity of complying with this demand, he ordered his footman to be called up, who made his appearance Though I was already sufficiently mortified, my greatest struggle was to come, in facing my wife and daughters. No truant was ever more afraid of returning to school, there to behold the master's visage, than I was of going home. I was determined, however, to an |