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MISSOURI VALLEY

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ARMER

have must excuse me. I have been so busy
ork figuring up your bill that I entirely
neglected to prepare you any dinner. I
suppose though that if you get it next
week it will suit you just as well?"
ne of the captains of industry who
"managed to scrape up a pittance of
4red million dollars, had a fad
ng on working clothes and go-
very day to spade in bis gar
tay some strangers passing
rich man wearing a bat-
t and clothed in cotton
Is apading in the gar-
me time they caught
butler clothed la a
have made Solo-
nts. Mistaking
in of industry
It is easy to
two men
hundred
han has

into Missoure, Kansas,

farm journal in the west; I guarantee this paper to have the largest actual paid in-advance subscription

list of ies going oklahoma and Texas,

160.000 copies
Nebraska, Color

the garden spot of

is advertisers real, evident tangible Rate is only 60 cents per line bright, popellar farm paper with a tremendous, stable prosperous, constituency;

it

Topeka, Kansas June 2. 1905

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31.L

do 1.

to $5

bave f

that one

bave woul

dicitis."

A man who L

al advantages wa
with by an educate
of his illiteracy. "W
man, "I know that I'L

in' but I learned two

time ago that have helpe

made me live longer."

"What letters are those?

educated friend.

"Let'er go," and "Let'er rip."

en

.ooked

he

er the e down. up in that ceraly as b ell, it was this boy. "I was gothere as peaceful Jen your dog jumped I had to climb this tree bein' torn to pleces." man, that dog was tied on ide of that high board fence I saw you climb over into the chard and then I turned him loose. Why do you add the sin of lying to that of stealing apples?"

"Well, Mister, I knowed that you knowed how I happened to be in this co know tree, but from the way you asked that s read all question I concluded that you expected re that a lot me to say something."

up here in person

ill tell me privately A charitable man had as neighbors good on earth, and a family of shiftless people who alave you these letters of ways lived from, hand to mouth, apon to get rid of you." parently never figuring on how they etters of recommendation would get through the following day mean mighty little. or the following week. As times were man who made loud professions of pretty hard and the shiftless family eligion, but whose credit was consid-were short on clothes and food, the Jerably below par among those who charitable man sent them a check for knew him best, one day heard a rough $10. The next month he did the same sang man swearing in rather a promiscuous thing and kept it up for six months. aed up and voluble manner. "My good man," Then he observed that the neighbor s herself. said the deacon with an unctous exwas not making very strenuous endience burst pression, don't you know that it is deavor to get work and ceased to send applause very wicked for you to Indulge in so the checks. Within a week he reainutes until the much profanity? ceived a note running as follows: d to come back and "Well, deacon," said the profane "deer Sir: failed to receve yure check As the applause guess you're right. This this week as usual pleaze forward same Yours truly, .corium and fairly made swearing is all wrong and the rankest to mo by Arst male. J. TOMPKINS alver the cricket commenc- sort of foolishness, but then my swear- Moral: Often the recipient of char ut round and swell up and ing is like your praying, neither one of ity gets the notion in his head that it chirp louder than ever, finally turning us mean what we say, and neither my is owing to him. to a companion, she said: "I suppose cusses or your prayers amount to a you see now what the people think of M-y singing."

A horse was owned by a man
was in the habit of yelling at the bea
and threatening it with all sorts o
punishment. Another horse, hearing
the way the man talked to his animal, s.
sald, "How can you manage to live giv
Allea
with so fierce a master?"
"The fierceness of my master's the lig
mouth," replied the other horse, "cuts ed to
no ice with me so long as it does not

affect his arm."
Moral: Many a loud talker is at
heart as gentle as a dove

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man,

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A man who was long on promises to pay but short on cash, got in debt to On one occasion a stub-talled cur A widow who had been left a com- bis landlady for several weeks board blue pencil it means that this sample If you find this paragraph marked with dog joined a pack of greyhounds in fortable fortune was sought in mar- He would earnestly promise that he copy of the Missouri Valley Farmer in pursuit of a Kansas Jackrabbit. The riage by a smooth talker who was would settle in full at the close of the sent to you through the courtesy of a Jack, in attempting to avoid the looking for easy money. He told her next week, and when his attention was making you a special trial rale offer The friend of yours and at his request we are bounds. pursued his usual tactics of how his heart was filled with admira-called to the fact that he had not come regular subscription price of The Farmer doubling back on his track. By so do- tion and affection for her and how mis- down with the cash would say that 18 cents per year. But for the purpose Ing be escaped temporarily the hounds, erable he would be without her. The be bad fully intended to do so but popular farm paper, we will send it to you of getting you better acquainted with our but unfortunately ran directly into the widow, who was tolerably smooth ber- had forgotten it in the hurry of brusi- whole year for only 10 cents, which mouth of the stub-talled cur, who was self, heard his story through, then ness. After this had gone on for sev- barely pays the postage on the paper trailing along behind, and was gather drawing a letter from her dreas pocket era! weeks, the boarder came in one This offer is not good unless accepted at once Please read this issue carefully, ed in The cur, proud of his capture. said with a deep sigh: "I am so glad to day to get his Sunday dinner and notice the many excellent features that began to boast of bis ability as a run- know that you love me with such a found a plate but nothing to eat. Af- are not found in any other paper The ner, when one of the bounds dryly re-consuming affection. This letter indi- ter waiting a considerable time fabies alone are worth more than the subbe ser ption price When you have read the marked: "If you are wise enough to cates that I bave probably not only called in the landlady and asked why paper carefully send 10 cents in silver ap rest your reputation on this accident lost all the property I bad, but will he had no dinner. Whereupon the stamps for a year subscription, address you may keep quite a standing among bave a few thousands of debts to set- landlady apologized, saying: "You the Missouri Valley Farmer, Topeka,

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For the practical farmer who wants a paper
that really helps him in his business--
And for the practical advertiser
who wants a medium that will

bring him in cold cash
results, there is

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PRACTICAL FARMER

It is the old reliable farm family paper of
Pennsylvania, New York, New Jersey, Del-
aware, Virginia and North Carolina.

For half a century the PRACTICAL FARMER
has been working in the interests of these
good people and they have come to consid-
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