him and his household, and his children to the ninth generation, even the blessing of the promise, forever and ever.

LESSON CLXXXII.

THE OLD BACHELOR'S SALE.

MISS DAVIDSON.

1. I DREAM'D a dream in the midst of my slumbers,
And as fast as I dream'd it, it came into numbers;
My thoughts ran along in such beautiful meter,
I'm sure I ne'er saw any poetry sweeter:
It seem'd that a law had been recently made,
That a tax on old bachelors' pates should be laid;
And, in order to make them all willing to marry,
The tax was as large as a man could well carry.

2. The bachelors grumbled, and said 'twas no use, 'Twas horrid injustice, and horrid abuse,

And declared that, to save their own hearts' blood from spilling,

Of such a vile tax they would not pay a shilling.

3. But the rulers determined them still to pursue,
So they set all the old bachelors up at vendue:
A crier was sent through the town to and fro,
To rattle his bell, and his trumpet to blow,
And to call out to all he might meet in his way,
"Ho! forty old bachelors sold here to-day!"

4. And presently all the old maids in the town,
Each in her very best bonnet and gown,
From thirty to sixty, fair, plain, red, and pale,
Of every description, all flock'd to the sale.

5. The auctioneer then in his labor began,

And call'd out aloud, as he held up a man,
"How much for a bachelor? Who wants to buy?"
In a twink every lady responded, "I! I!"

In short, at a highly extravagant price,
The bachelors all were sold off in a trice:

And forty old maidens-some younger, some older—
Each lugg'd an old bachelor home on her shoulder.

LESSON CLXXXIII.

SPEECH OF SERGEANT BUZFUZ IN THE CASE OF "BARDELL vs. PICKWICK.”

CHARLES DICKENS.

1. You have heard from my learned friend, gentlemen of the jury, that this is an action for a breach of promise of marriage, in which the damages are laid at fifteen hundred pounds. The plaintiff, gentlemen, the plaintiff is a widow, —yes, gentlemen, a widow. The late Mr. Bardell, after enjoying for many years the esteem and confidence of his sovereign, as one of the guardians of his royal revenues, glided almost imperceptibly from the world, to seek elsewhere for that repose and peace which a custom-house can never afford. Some time before his death, he became the father, gentlemen, of a little boy. With this little boy, the only pledge of her departed exciseman, Mrs. Bardell shrunk from the world, and courted the retirement and tranquillity of Goswell Street; and here she placed in her front parlor-window a written placard, bearing this inscription :-" Apartments furnished for a single gentleman. Inquire within." I entreat the attention of the jury to the wording of this document:-"Apartments furnished for a single gentleman."

ance.

2. Mrs. Bardell's opinions of the opposite sex, gentlemen, were derived from a long contemplation of the inestimable qualities of her lost husband. She had no fear, she had no distrust, she had no suspicion; all was confidence and reli"Mr. Bardell," said the widow," was a man of honor; Mr. Bardell was a man of his word; Mr. Bardell was no deceiver; Mr. Bardell was once a single gentleman himself: to single gentlemen I look for protection, for assistance, for comfort, and for consolation; in single gentlemen I shall perpetually see something to remind me of what Mr. Bardell

was, when he first won my young and untried affections. To a single gentleman, then, shall my lodgings be let."

3. Actuated by this beautiful and touching impulse, (among the best impulses of our imperfect nature, gentlemen,) the lonely and desolate widow dried her tears, furnished her first floor, caught her innocent boy to her maternal bosom, and put the bill up in her parlor window. Did it remain there long? No. The serpent was on the watch, the train was laid, the mine was preparing, the sapper and miner was at work! Before the bill had been in the parlorwindow three days,-three days, gentlemen,—a being, erect upon two legs, and bearing all the outward semblance of a man, and not of a monster, knocked at the door of Mrs. Bardell's house! He inquired within; he took the lodgings; and on the very next day he entered into possession of them. This man was Pickwick,-Pickwick, the defendant.

4. Of this man Pickwick I will say little: the subject presents but few attractions; and I, gentlemen, am not the man, nor are you, gentlemen, the men, to delight in the contemplation of revolting heartlessness and systematic villainy. I say systematic villainy, gentlemen; and when I say systematic villainy, let me tell the defendant, Pickwick, if he be in court, as I am informed he is, that it would have been more decent in him, more becoming, in better judgment, and in better taste, if he had stopped away. Let me tell him, gentlemen, that any gestures of dissent or disapprobation, in which he may indulge in this court, will not go down with you; that you will know how to value and how to appreciate them; and let me tell him, further, that a counsel, in his discharge of his duty to his client, is neither to be intimidated, nor bullied, nor put down; and that any attempt to do either the one or the other, or the first or the last, will recoil on the head of the attempter, be he plaintiff or be he defendant; be his name Pickwick, or Noakes, or Stoakes, or Stiles, or Brown, or Thompson.

5. I shall show you, gentlemen, that for two years Pickwick continued to reside constantly, and without interruption or intermission, at Mrs. Bardell's house. I shall show you, that Mrs. Bardell, during the whole of that time, waited

on him, attended to his comfort, cooked his meals, looked out his linen for the washerwoman when it went abroad, darned, aired, and prepared it for wear when it came home; and, in short, enjoyed his fullest trust and confidence. I shall show you, that, on many occasions, he gave half-pence, and on some occasions, even sixpences, to her little boy; and I shall prove to you, by a witness whose testimony it will be impossible for my learned friend to weaken or controvert, that on one occasion he patted the boy on the head, and, after inquiring whether he had won any alley-tors or commoneys lately, (both of which I understand to be species of marbles much prized by the youth of this town,) made use of this remarkable expression:-"How would you like to have another father?" I shall prove to you further, gentlemen, that, about a year ago, Pickwick suddenly began to absent himself from home during long intervals, as if with the intention of gradually breaking off from my client; but I shall show you, also, that his resolution was not at that time sufficiently strong, or that his better feelings conquered,—if better feelings he has, or that the charms and accomplishments of my client prevailed over his unmanly intentions, by proving to you that on one occasion, when he returned from the country, he distinctly and in terms offered her marriage,—previously, however, taking special care that there should be no witnesses to their solemn contract.

6. And now, gentlemen, but one word more. Two letters have passed between these parties,-letters which are admitted to be in the handwriting of the defendant, and which speak volumes indeed. These letters, too, bespeak the character of the man. They are not open, fervid, eloquent epistles, breathing nothing but the language of affectionate attachment. They are covert, sly, underhanded communications; but, fortunately, far more conclusive than if couched in the most glowing language and the most poetic imagery,letters that must be viewed with a cautious and suspicious eye, letters that were evidently intended at the time, by Pickwick, to mislead and delude any third parties into whose hands they might fall. Let me read the first:-"Garraway's, twelve o'clock,-Dear Mrs. B.-chops and tomato sauce.

Yours, Pickwick." Gentlemen, what does this mean? Chops and tomato sauce! Yours, Pickwick! Chops! Gracious heavens! and tomato sauce! Gentlemen, is the happiness of a sensitive and confiding female to be trifled away by such shallow artifices as these?

7. The next has no date whatever, which is in itself suspicious:-"Dear Mrs. B.-I shall not be at home to-morrow. Slow coach." And then follows this very remarkable expression :-" Don't trouble yourself about the warming-pan!" The warming-pan! Why, gentlemen, who does trouble himself about a warming-pan? When was the peace of mind of man or woman broken or disturbed about the warming-pan, which is in itself a harmless, a useful, and I will add, gentlemen, a comforting, article of domestic furniture? Why is Mrs. Bardell so earnestly entreated not to agitate herself about this warming-pan, unless (as is no doubt the case) it is a mere cover for hidden fire,—a mere substitute for some endearing word or promise, agreeably to some preconcerted system of correspondence, artfully contrived by Pickwick with a view to his contemplated desertion?

8. And what does this allusion to the slow coach mean? For aught I know, it may be a reference to Pickwick himself, who has most unquestionably been a criminally slow coach during the whole of this transaction, but whose speed will now be very unexpectedly accelerated, and whose wheels, gentlemen, as he will find to his cost, will very soon be greased by you! But enough of this, gentlemen. It is difficult to smile with an aching heart; it is ill jesting when our deepest sympathies are awakened. My client's hopes and prospects are ruined; and it is no figure of speech to say that her occupation is gone indeed. The bill is down;-but there is no tenant! Eligible single gentlemen pass and repass;but there is no invitation for them to inquire within or without! All is gloom and silence in the house: even the voice of the child is hushed; his infant sports are disregarded when his mother weeps; his "alley-tors," and his "commoneys," are alike neglected; he forgets the long-familiar cry of "knuckle-down," and at tip-cheese, or odd-and-even, his hand is out.