Pin the Infant School. ICK-ME-UP PEPPER establishes fever Hippopotamus. PICK-ME-UP PEPPER paralyses the PICK- PICK citor. ICK-ME-UP PEPPER maddens Ploshop dancing a break-down. ICK-ME-UP PEPPER sets the AT THE END OF THE YEAR. PICK-ME-UP PEPPER hurries the TO A FRIEND. Do you remember how we sat, We two, in this same room together Last year, and talked of this and that, And warmed our toes and cursed the weather? And dreamed of fame, and puffed a cloud BEN who was ploughed, or very nearly; And makes his thousand guineas yearly. We both despised the wretched JOE, My fag at school, your butt at College. Dall, elephantine, pompous, slow, Choked with absurdly useful knowledge. Yet JOE assists to give us laws, Tossing up for Turkey at Christmas Time. 66 imagine that moms, a to trouble the Post is the cause of my ceasing to Office. Suppose that I hang the expense,' and do send the cards. Well, I am in this Soli-culty to get a suitable greeting to all those position; it is a matter of the greatest diffi who receive my annual benediction. If I the have "Wishing you and yours every happi ness," with my appended name and address Arch-lithographed, the greeting seems cold, and even inappropriate, if addressed to, say, a Philo-favourite Maiden Aunt; and unduly familiar if forwarded to the acquaintance I saw for the first time in my life the day before yesterday. Then if I trust to the ordinary Christmas Cards of commerce, I am often at sopher into a Lunatic Asylum. PICKICK-ME-UP PEPPER staggers the rising Politician. PICK-ME-UP PEPPER causes the resig PICK nation of the Prime Minister. Plchor for Practical Jokers. Prelied on by Master TOMMY. PICK-ME-UP PEPPER, put in safely the baby's bottle, will divert the Nursery. ICK-ME-UP PEPPER, introduced into to a serious riot in the dining-room. a loss to select an appropriate recipient for a nestful of owls, or the picture of a Clown touching up an elderly gentleman of highly respectable appearance with a red-hot poker! If I get a representation of flowers, the chances are ten to one that the accompanying lines are of a compromising character. It is obviously cruel to send to a recently-widowed Uncle some verses about "Darby and Joan," and my Mother-in-law is not likely to feel complimented if I forward to her a poetically expressed suggestion that there is no plea course, from her Son-in-law! And yet these are the problems that meet the would-be Yule my dear Mr. Punch, yours sincerely, PICK ME UP PEPPER, administered in Tide card distributer at every turn! I remain, a sandwich, Uncle. ICK-ME-UP PEPPER is general Speaks in the House, and shows his fat form, P disorganiser of every Household. 'Midst empty thunders of applause, Erect on many a Tory platform. And poor, inconsequential JACK, His mind a maze, like Mr. Toors's, Has married money, keeps a hack, And has a big account at COUTTS's. TOM owns a house in Belgrave Square, And DICK is noted for his dinnersLife is a race, but was it fair, [winners We asked, that these should be the We, too, would win; and Heaven knows What vows we uttered fiery-hearted, While '89 drew to its close, And '90 found us-so we parted. ? And here, good lack, while '90 wanes, And sip my grog, and smoke my bird's-eye. ICK-ME-UP PEPPER.-A Pinch will thoroughly banish sleep for a whole fortnight. ICK-ME-UP PEPPER. "AN OCTO PICEARIAN CONSUMER" writes: "I was in a comatose condition for twenty years, when I came across your Pepper. I had scarcely tried it ere I bounded up from my arm-chair, and have danced a continual fandango ever since. I carry it loose in all my pockets, and scatter it on all my friends whenever I meet them. This has got me kicked out of all their houses in turn; but I do not in the least mind. I'm as merry and as mad as a March hare-and your Pepper has done it." ONE WHO WISHES TO AVOID A ROW. P.S.-If this arrives late, thank the cards that have overtaxed the postal arrangements. The United Service Diary for 1891. |