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upon hisn !

Look at “UCALEGON," now, him as writes to a cheap daily journal, BUMBLE AT HOME ;

Along the "Orrors of 'Ampstead,” as he calls by-wot's it?— OR, THE WINTER OF OUR DISCONTENT.


(Wotever that crackjaw may mean) or that fellow, “INFELIX THE"“ Notwithstanding the most superlative, and, I may say, supernat’ral exer- blow it. tions on the part of this parish,” said BUMBLE, "we have not been able to-Sech names you can't write nor yet spell, if you're not a School do anythink."-Oliver Twist.

Board or a Poet.
Mr. Bumble, loquitur :

Talks of our "hard hide," does."INFELIX,"I'd like to lay hands GR-R-R-R!!! Old-fashioned Winter, indeed ! Well, I'ope them as talks on it relishes it!

All becos Upper 'Ampstead, it seems, is a sort of a dark ice-bound The City seems give up to snow; which I can't say it greatly em

prison. bellishes it.

No 'busses, no trams, and no cabs, no grub, and no gas, and no water! But, really, of all the dashed imperence, -s'posing of course as they Ha! ha! Pooty pioter it is, and thanks be I don't dwell in thai meant it,

quarter! The greatest is that of the Papers appealing to Me to pervent it!

But wot's it to do with poor Me? If he wants it himproved he had

best try. Ah! it's a hinsolent Hage, and without no respect for Autho- Them proud County-Councillor coves, not come wallopping into the rity.

Westry. The ory of them demmycrat 'owlers is all for low In-fe-ri-or-ity. Wot use, too, to talk of Wienna ? Don't know where that is, and Things is about bottom appards, as far as I judges, already,

don't wanter, And if the porochial dignity's floored, what is left to stand But, 'cording to "SNOWBOUND,” their style of snow-clearing beats steady?

ourn in a canter.

Ratepayers' Defencers may rave, aud the scribblers may scold Progressists, indeed! Ah, I'd "progress” 'em, pack o' perposterous or talk funny, hasses,

But clean streets in Winter mean this,-you must plank down a A regular pollyglot lot, breeding strife 'twixt the classes and

dollup more money! The masses is muck; that's my motter, as who should have learnt Me up and be doing meanwhile ?. No, not if I jolly well knows it. it more betterer

I likes my own fireside too well to go snow-olearing, don't you BUMBLE could hopen the heyes of them BOOTHSES, JOHN BURNSES, ancetterer.

A choice between slither and slush may come 'ard on the Mighty Snow? Is it me brings the snow, and the hice, and the peasoupy Metrolopus, slushiness,

But Westrydom ain't on the job, 'owsomever they worry and wallop Making the subbubs one slough? Nol The Age is give over to Sushiness.

Bless yer, we've stood it before, and can stand it agen, all this fussing. Parties as writes to the Papers is snivellers, yus, every one of 'em, My game's a swig and a smoke; as for them—they can go on disBarring the few as cracks jokes, though I own as I can't see the cussing.' fan of 'em.

[8huts door, and retires to his snuggery for spirituous solace,


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(December 31, 1890, and January, 1891.)

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COMPENSATION. We are looking forward to Ivanhoe, by

(Soliloquy of Smelfungus whilst looking at the Pictorial Papers.) Sir ARTHUR 8. SULLIVAN, Mus. Doo.

Yes, it's an ill-wind that blows nobody good, From what our Musical Critio has seen

Discomfort could hardly be greater, of the score, he is able to wink his eye

For home-staying fogies of mollyish mood, wisely but not too well, and to hint that

But think of the joy of the Skater ! as Mr. Guppy says, “There are chords”;

Gr-r-r-r.! Noso-nipped antiquity equirms in the street, and to make these chords in oombination,

When the North-Easter sounds its fierce slogan; the strings are admirably fitted. There

But oh, the warm flush and the ecstasy fleet is one chord (will it be recognised as

Of the fellow who rides a toboggan ! belonging to Box ?) which- But, as

FISH SMART's on the job in the ice-covered fens,
Sir ARTHUR says,
Where will be the

And at Hampstead and Highgate they're “sleighing." surprise, if your Musical_Critio tells

There is plenty of stuff for pictorial pens, everything beforehand ?” He is right,

And boyhood at snowballs is playing. quite right, and, thank goodness, he is

To sit by the fire and to grumble and croak

At "young fools,". I presume is improper, quite well, and not

Yet (chuckle) the Skater sometimes has a “soak," “H'Ive an hoe,'' by Sir

The Sleigher sometimes comes a cropper! [Left sniggering. but the Composer is in the playfullest of Arthur Sullivan. humours, and laughs over his recent row

; in fact, he was


(Extracts from a Critique on an Exhibition to succeed the Guelphian, in such good spirits, that, when I

in 19–.)
wanted to hear all about it, and I
told him he could either sing it or

No. 76. Portrait of a Warrior. This picture is described in the play it to me, he replied,


Catalogue as the Duke of WELLINGTON, who, it will be remembered, won, in the early part of the last century, the Battle of Waterloo,

and invented a new kind of boots. The face is adorned with long I" Exactly like black whiskers and monstaches, and an eyeglass not unlike the tra

ditional portrait of the great W. E. GLADSTONE, Second Earl of him, which neither of these two BEACONSFIELD, as depicted by a now nearly forgotten artist, called


is. How- indeed, it be the Duke) is wearing the uniform of the 3rd Middlesex Mus Doc.

Artillery Volunteers, a corps that was raised some ten years after ever, I'm not offended, as I said to him, or rather said and sang to His Grace's

death, a fact that would argue that the painting was him, by way of reply.

either a posthumous work, or intended to represent someone else. My Name's

and So it is. Accepting the alternative suggestion, the picture may band down to

posterity the features of BURDETT COUTTS (husband of the Baroness of that name), J, L. TOOLE, the popular Comedian, HENRY IRVING

(his friend), the Rev. C. H. SPURGEON, or (and this is the most A SEMI-OFFICIAL INTRODUCTION.

likely hypothesis) PRINCE GEORGE of Wales.

No. 102. Miniature of a Lady Unknoron. It is impossible at this (BERRY was introduced in a semi-official way, and at once said, “Good lapse of time to identify the original of this portrait. No doubt she morning, Ma'am.”—See Daily Papers on Mrs. Pearcy's execution.] belonged to a short-lived and somewhat degraded class known as KING Death has a great Ambassador who journeys through all the

professional beauties." In one hand she holds an instrument land,

called an opera-glass, which was used in the last century at trials With a cap, and a strap, and a slip-noosed rope all ready to his hand. for murder at the Old Bailey. The hair she wears on her head is He's a genial man with a joke for all, and a smile on his jovial face, evidently, false, and has been supplied from some foreign peasantry: And a grip of the

hand that is frank and free when he comes to the Her hat is adorned with a stuffed bird, suggestive of the cruelty of trysting place.

her nature. As she holds in her other hand a book labelled, “ The And, oh, when the gloomy winter night is fading into the day,

Art of Nursing," it may be conjectured that she is a frequent He comes to the cell and is introduced in a semi-official way;

visitor to the Dissecting-Room, or the Accident Ward of a London With a jolly " Good morning, Ma'am,” he comes, and as quick as a

Hospital. On the whole, perhaps, it is fortunate that her name has morning dream

not been preserved by succeeding generations. She must, indeed, He has corded his living parcel and flung it across the stream.

have been a contrast to her angelic descendants of the present

day. The stream flows silently onward, and the flood seems deep and strong, No. 2478. An Utensil Made of Brass. This strange-looking And some of us pause on the hither-bank slow-footed, and linger long. object may have been used by our ancestors as a helmet,

or perhaps But early or late we must plunge in and battle across the tide, as a fish-kettle. It is, perhaps, rather large for the first, and a Though the beckoning shapes look dark and grim that wait on the little too thick for the second. The Catalogue describes the exhibit farther side.

as “a coal-souttle.” It is impossible to verify this assertion, as ooal is But they whom the King's Ambassador, or ever their race be run, now only found in specimen cases at museums, and a sketch of a Has summoned, must leave at the moment the sight of the friendly sun. coal-scuttle has not been seen for the last fifty years. It is, however, He's

a kindly man, with a cheerful voice, but he never brooks delay interesting as suggestive of a time when the world was not heated When once he has come and been introduced in a semi-official way. by volcanio hot water. And, ah, how lightly the minutes fly, that once seemed heavy as lead, And the sleeper is fitfully tossing, alone on her prison bed. [toll, SEASONABLE REPLY (By Our Own Politest Letter-Writer.) At the hour of eight must the journey be, when the passing bell doth This is a model for a cautious answer at this time of year to an And God, it may be, who is merciful, will pity a sinful soul. [gate, invitation to witness an out-of-door ceremony, the laying of a first “ Arise," they say, for you know full well who waits at the outer

stone, &c., &o., returning to London same day: With sheriffs to do his bidding, behold he is come in state.

“Dear Aif I am (1) alive, (2) well, (3) with The time is short, and the minutes fly, but ere we forget it, stay,

no argent business,. (4) in London, and if the We must introduce the Ambassador in a semi-official way."

weather is (i.) fine, sii.) fairly warm, (ii.) likely to last so, (iv.) wind 8. W., (v.) no remains of sloshy

thaw, (vi.) no frost; if there are comfortable conPOLITE JUDGMENT.-A correspondence has been going on in the

veyances to and from station; if there is a perfeotly St. James's Gazette as to what six Gentlemen seated in a first class Seasonable" on this dry spot for me to stand on, and see and hear railway carriage ought to do if a Lady insists on thrusting herself


everything, and no draughts, and if there is a upon them., Truth says, let her stand, unless she has been invited, good lunoh in a comfortable, dry, well-aired, and warmed room, with and adds, that anyhow she as an extra person, is a nuisance not too many guests, and plenty of good waiters, also with dry Mr. Punch agrees with a difference, and says that the uninvited champagne, -say Pommery, '80 or '84, for choice, then you may jatrader who becomes a standing nuisance ought to be put down expect me, and I accept, with the greatest possible pleasure. by somebody giving her a seat.

D. Dass.


Yours ever,

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