« AnteriorContinuar »
ENCOURAGEMENT. Professional Gulfer (in answer to anxious question). “WEEL, NO, SIR, AT YOUR TIM& o' LIFE, YE CAN NEVER HOPE TO BECOME A PLAYER;
BUT IF YE PRACTISE HARD FOR TAREE YEARS, YE MAY BE ABLE TO TELL GOOD PLAY FROM BAD WHEN YE SEE IT!”.
For them makes my bosom as glad
A8-Big Surplus, and Popular Budget; The Hare (with many financial friends)
And so I should like to secure them a rua,
Combining snug safety with plenty of fun.
I don't want to hamper their daring;
Just ask that smart runner, young
[line I trust they'll not think I have made á And that's why I'm trying.
strike a new mistake?
For our Paper-Chase-outting the “Paper"
I scatter it wide. Will it float ?
Of course for awhile there's no knowing ;
[notes, in full flight. But how if the pack come a general cropper ! There ! Look like white-birds, or bank.
Now, lads, double up! There's not one yet Remarkably near it last time,
in sight! Though some of 'em didn't suspect it; But I spy the peril! 'Twero orime
Of course I'm ahead of my field, If I did not help them to deteot it.
As a Hare worth his salt ever should be. If they don't like my trail they must give My Hounds, though, are mostly spring-heeled. me the sack ;
Eh? Funk it ? I'don't think that could be ! I'd rather be bullied than break up the pack. For pluck and for pace. There's the trail, —
The L. S. D. Harriers' lick others hollow
will they follow ?
“SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST.”- You need Of this havresack there have been some smart not go to Holland to see the Hague. You may carriers
find it-him we mean-at DOWDESWELL'S I'll make 'em sit up, though, the L. 8. D. Gallery. Here you can repel in a good fit of Harriers !
the Hague without shivering. Indeed, Mr.
ANDERSON HAGUE, judging from his pictures I love 'em, each supple-shanked lad, of North Cambria, seems to be very fit, and
'Most as much as-Statistics. To trudge it therefore, he may be called an HAGUE-fit.
A CAN(NES) DID CONFESSION.
(By a Suffering Angelina.) You write to me, sweetest, with envy
Of "zephyrs” and “summerlike stars; " You say women, horses, and men vie
In chorus of croups and catarrhs;
Of Winter's tyrannical sway:
The Mediterranean way.
An ocean pellucidly fair.”
And coals that can warm you are there ;
Cold comfort, while fortunes we pay
Their Mediterranean way!
Mimosa caresses and rose ;
For mistral to buffet my nose.
"That Eden for Eyes"- did you say? Apt phrase ! Nothing masculine comes in
Our Mediterranean way.
Of gossamer shapes”-and the rest.
They too have a cold on their chest. At "delicate lungs,". dear, and so on
No more for this climate I'll play, But homeward in ecstasy go on
My Mediterranean way. ;
THE OLD WOMAN AND HER WATER SUPPLY,
(An Old Nursery Rhyme with a new burden.)
Oh, what a cruel buzzum has a Water Company
MOI-MEM. “Moi-Même," in the course of his pleasant Worldly wanderings among things in general, observes, à propos of the younger COQUELIN's suggestion about lectures by professors of the Dramatic Art to youthfal students,
One can scarcely fancy a more humorous sight than Mr. TOOLE giving a professional lecture to dramatic aspirants, telling them when to wink, when to wheeze, when to 'scuse his glove, ,'" &c. Now it so happens that when this same idea was first started -or perhaps_revived some eleven years ago, Professor TOOLE's Lecture to Students of the Dramatio Art was given in Mr. Punch's pages. The lecture, one of a series supposed to he given by various actors, will be found in Vol. LXXVIII., page 93. It appeared on the 28th of February, 1880.
Note by a Nomad.
supply should be provided for the submerged half of the population, THE HIGHEST EDUCATION;
and they could not grumble at these things, but what they did not Or, what is looming a-head.
consider necessary was, that a salary should be forthcoming for
each pupil-teacher sufficient to enable him or her to drive down A DEPUTATION on behalf of the Exasperated Ratepayers' Associa- to the schools in their own carriage and pair. (Much laughter.) tion waited yesterday afternoon on the Chairman of the London He did not think it a laughing matter. He would strongly suggest School Board at their new and commodious palatial premises erected a diminution of at least £1000° a-year in the salaries of these overon the vast central site recently cleared, regardless of expense, for paid officials. that purpose in Piccadilly, and presented a further protest against The Chairman here asked the speaker if he had considered that the ever-increasing expenditure indulged in by that body. The descending" from a carriage was necessarily connected with the Chairman, smilingly intimating that he would hear what the Depų- teaching of Deportment, on which the Board set great value? Was tation had to say, though he added, amidst the ill-suppressed merri- he not aware that some great man had said, wishing to give Deportment of his confrères, he supposed it was the old sing-song protest, ment its proper weight as an educational factor, that the Battle of possibly on this occasion because they had recently directed that the Waterloo (at least he thought he was quoting correctly) was won at boys attending the schools of the Board should come in “Eton" Almacks ? (Renewed laughter.) Anyhow, he did not consider that suits, the cost of which naturally, fell upon the rates, or some £2,500 a-year, and a house in Mayfair, was at all an excessive remucaptious objection of_that kind, which it really was a waste of neration for a School-Board teacher, as measured by the Board's breath to discuss. However, whatever it was, he added, he was standard. He thought, if that was all the Deputation had to urge, willing to hear it.
that they might have saved themselves the trouble their protest had The Spokesman of the Deputation, a Dake in reduced circumstances, cost them. who ascribed his ruin to the heavy rates he had been called upon to
The Spokesman having for a few moments consulted with his pay through the extravagance of the Board, and who
declined to give colleagues, hereupon turned to the Chairman, and delivering with his name, said that though they had not thought the Eton suits a fearful emphasis the customary curse on the School Board, its necessity, still it was not against them that they had to protest... It Chairman, and all its belongings, at the same time thanking the was the addition of Astronomy involving the erection (with fitting Chairman' for his courteous reception of the Deputation, silently first-class instruments) of 341 observatories in the London district and sulkily withdrew. alone, Chinese, taught by 500 native Professors imported from Pekin for the purpose, horse-riding, yachting, and the church organ (these last two being compulsory), together with the use of the tricycle, DBURIOLANUS AND DANCING. -The Fancy Dress Ball-not a “Ball type-writer,land phonograph, all of which instruments were provided Marsky"-at Covent Garden, last Tuesday week, was a great for every single pupil at the expense of the ratepayers, to the curri- success, on which DBURIOLANUS FORTUNATUS is hereby congratuonlum of all those pupils who were fitted for the third standard. The lated. There is to be a similar festivity, to celebrate Mi-Carême. speaker said he knew that it had long been settled that the finest and Quite appropriate this date, when the season is half Lent, and the most comprehensive eduoation that our advanced civilisation could costumes almost all borrowed.