« AnteriorContinuar »
And she pretty soon will to join me prepare,
THE LIGHTS O' LONDON.
“The first practical constructive step towards lighting the City of London by means of electricity,
was taken yesterday (Feb. 3), when the LORD MAYOR placed in position the first stone of the main Over the garden wall,
junction-box for the electric conductors, at the top of Walbrook, close under the shadow of the western O sweetest girl of all!
walls of the Mansion House."- Times,
Over the Garden Wall !
Over the garden wall ;
Over the garden wall.
Over the Garden Wall!
MACDONALD is bound to fall.
MAINUUNOTJO One day you'll jump down on the other side,
ELECTRICI CONDU There's plenty of room, and my arms are
LORD MAY wide,
Over the garden wall:
Over the Garden Wall i
Yer dingy nooks and slums,
sombre and slimy, Patriot sentiment's pretty, and yet
Is gifts wot Prowidence Interest sways in the end, you bet!
most kyindly sends MERCIER's right; so pop, my pet,
To give hus chaps Over the Garden Wall!
chance of perks and Bill Sikes. “WELL, I HAM BLOWED I IF THEY 'RE GOIN' TO
pickins; Where there's a will there's always a way, 'AVE THIS BEASTLY 'LECTRIC L:GAT ALL OVER THE PLACE
But if the Town's chockOver the garden wall ! wor's TO BECOME OF HUS?"
and MACDONALD's a Boss, but he's had his day, Over the garden wall !
Mr. William Sikes, Junior, loquitur :- With you and me, Nan, it will play the Tariffs take money, but weddings are cheap, WELL, I ham blowed! I say, look 'ere, you dickens. So wait till old Joanny is snoring asleep,
We must turn'onest, Nan, and that's no go! Then give him the slip, and to JONATHAN Old Gog and Magog is woke up at last ! Goin' to hilluminate the City. Fancy!!
'Ang Science! Ile lamps and old Charlies creep, Over the Garden Wall !
Wos good for trade, our trade. Ah! if my dad
Larnin', Law, and Light oppress 'em,
[mad. A Slop at every street-end standin' sentry, Your “Grand Old Man" Won't spile our game like lots o’’Lectric As for the Hartful Dodger and old Fagin,
Our good old cracksmen-gangs, he'd go stark And swear Miss CANADA's loyal yet.
Lights. But loyalty bows to Dollars - you bet!
Ah! they're well hout of it. Wot could 'Tis time our lips in union met
The Lights o' London ? Yah! That's bin
With Science and her bloomin' fireworks [Left twangling seductively. Were London lighted, how could you plaguin'
Their hartfullest little games the whole
Our only 'ope, my Nan, is in the Noodles, DOMESTIC SERVICE.—My General Servant 'Tis darkness plays our game, and we've 'ad
There's still some left in London I'll be has just left me suddenly, on the ridiculous
But this means mischief, or my name ain't To lork a crib, prig wipes, sneak ladies' poodles,
Gits 'arder every day; we're watched ali 5 A.x., and she was generally in bed by Wy, not one pooty little plant in twenty
round. twelve. Our house is not large, though rather lofty, and there are only fifteen in
Could we pull orf if light spiled pluck and Many a programme wot looks vastly pooty, ekiu.
Mucked by the mugs, leads on to wus and family. Of course I shall not pay her any wages, and shall retain her bozes; but how It's beastly, Nan, that's wot it is. Wy, But if they do light up the dim, cramped, sooty, can I really punish her for her shameful blimy,
Gog-ruled old Town-wot's to become of desertion ?CONSIDERATE.
Narrer ill-lighted streets is our best friends. hus? Hate FALLING OFF.-My hair is coming off, not slowly, but in one great circular Most APPROPRIATE.—The Bishop of DURHAM has appointed Mr. T. DIBDIN Chancellor of patch at the top of the head. A malicious the
Diocese of Durham. He already holds the Chancellorships of Exeter and Rochester. report has in consequence been spread abroad Three Chancellorships, all on the high sees too ! "Tuomas DIBDIN” is the right man in the in the neighbourhood that I have been scalped! right place. What course ought I to adopt to (1) recover damages against my traducers, and (2) recover PROVERB “UP TO DATE." Camming events cast their shadows before." And let's my hair ?-LITTLE WOOL.
hope the shadows will be speedily dispelled.
“MY PRETTY JANUS, OH NEVER LOOK SO SHY!"
AUGUSTUS DBURIOLANUS is greater than ever. It is the penitential season of Lent; some excellent persons renounce all worldly amusements; others, pot quite so excellent, and both lots thinking, it may be, no small beer of themselves, we may term the first lot Treble Excellent and the second Double Excellent-the latter division think that concerts possibly, sacred concerts certainly, and
certain other forms of of shavings and French-polish. Solid ma'ogany, every bit; the mild and non-theatridrawers run as smoothly as could be wished, and see if there ain't cal entertainments, are actually some sprigs of dry lavender still a laying in 'em !
of a sufficiently severe Pater familias (decidedly). Just so, my dear. I shall certainly bid character to constitute, for them.
(Marks his catalogue vigorously. as it were, a form of Auctioneer (dropping his hammer smartly). Sold i Remove the discipline. Then there first-class feather-bed, Sam. Buyer o' that has a bargain ! are the larger propor, (Modding, blandly to pleased. purchaser.). Really the prices at tion of those who," which things are going to-night are ruinous ! Owever, there's as Mrs. Malaprop po reserve, and the lucky publio gets the pull. The next article, would say,
care for Ladies and Gents, No. 471, is a very superior, well-made, none of these things, fully-seasoned, solid Spanish ma'ogany chest of drawers. Chest like GALILEO, my dear, o' drawers, SAM!. (To Paterfamilias.) Would you mind standing a and who inquire, inch or so aside. Sir ? Thanks! There they are, Ladies and Gentle- "What is the state of men, open to hinspection, and warranted to bear it. An unusually the odds as long as we excellent lot, fit for the sleeping-apartment of a prince, at a price think we're happy ?” within the means of a pork-butcher. (Laughter.) Oh, it's and who would indulge righteous, Gents. No’umbug about me. There's quality, if you in balls and theatres, like. Well worth a ten-pun note. What shall I have the pleasure and in every other form of saying for this very superior article ? 'Ow much for the chest of amusement, while o' drawers? Who bids for the ma'ogany chest ? Thirty shillings. such pursuits afforded Thank you, Sir! Any advance on thirty shillings? Thirty-five! them, or seemed to And six Thirty-five-and-six for this very desirable little lot! afford them, any plea- Suggestion for Costume at another Masked Ball.
JANUS DRURIOLANUS. Worth five times the amount, Ladies, as you know! What do you sure. think, Mam ? [To Materfamilias, who smiles vaguely, and looks at tion, i.e., the "unco guid,” DBURIOLANUS has nothing to offer, not her husband.
even a course of sermons by popular preachers; but to the two others Paterfamilias. Two pounds! [Feels he has made an impression. he has much to say. For these, last Saturday, he commenced the Auctioneer. Two pounds! (Confidentially to P.) Your good first of his series of Lenten Oratorios at Covent Garden-it was the lady knows a good bit o' stuff when she sees it, Siri' Two pounds 14th of February, and
this was his Valentino-and on the 17th, 2.6., for the chest! Two pounds! Any advance on a couple o' pounds ? the Tuesday afterwards, having made, so to speak, a clean sweep of All done at two pounds ? Going at two pounds 1 Meeting silence, everything serions, out he comes with his Fancy Dress and Masked pretends to hear another bid.) Two-pun-ten! Quite right, Sir! Ball. Elijah the Prophet, on Saturday, in the Covent Garden Calendar, Very foolish to lose such a superior harticle for a pound or two. must be reckoned among the minor profits," seeing that the biggest Going at two-pun-ten! Larst time, two-pun ten! Goinggoing - profit would be found in the Bal Masqué on Tuesday. Over
the doors should be the motto, Festina Lente," whereof the Pater familias (hastily). Two-fifteen!
Druriolanian translation must be, “Keep it up in Lent.” Ave Auctioneer (cheerily). Two-fifteen! (Taking other imaginary Janus Druriolanus !
Horrible! Do you think our lower orders would become disconOLD TIMES REVIVED.
tented, and strike, if they had not seen matches doing it first ? WHAT! when London Assurance is going off so well every night, Still more horrible! isn't it a pity that it should go off altogether ? CHARLES WYNDHAM Finally, you strike a match that never struok you, that never
as Dazzle is offended you in any way. Is that just, or even manly P Yet, in delightfully nine cases out of ten, the law takes no notice of the offence.
and To get a light, or because others do it.” Are you not convinced FARRIN as now that, when you use these words, you are not speaking the the old beau, truth? Sir Harcourt, admirable. I do not think I ever met anybody who was quite as moral, or Miss MOORE quite as original, as I am. You should give a complete set of my charming, works to each of your children. I might have generalised on the illMrs. BEERE effects of those vices from a special case—my own case. Had I done bright and so, I could have got it printed. I can get anything printed that I sparkling; write. I preferred to take a newer line, and to show you how vile BOURCHIER you are when you use matches. Everything is vile. But you are quite up to wondering, perhaps, how a great novelist becomes a small faddist.
0x0- You must wait till next month, and then read my article on the imnian” mark morality of parting one's hair with a comb. A common table-fork is of Tom and the only pare thing with which one can part one's hair. Combs Jeqq y; deaden the conscience. But more of this anon. BLAKELEY delicious, and GIDDENS good a Dolly
OUR BOOKING-OFFICE. Spanker What is this the Baron reads in the D. T. of Feb. 9, and in the you'd
wish to Daily Graphic of the same date? Here is a portion of the extraot Bee. It's too from the D. T. :-"The Monthly Meeting of that quaint Literary good to be Society, Ye Odd Volumes,' at Limmer's Hotel, brought together taken off.” not merely a goodly show of the Volumes themselves, but an Not that the unusually large array of visitors," and then follows the distinguished piece itself is list, the crowning point being reached when we come to the name a perfect gem, of "The Baron de Book-WORMS of Punch," and in the Daily
but the act- Graphic the daring reporter goes a step farther, as, after giving the ing! Tout est là..Oddsfish, your Majesty, CHARLES REX, Merry name of a certain honoured guest, he parenthetically explains that Monarch of the Cri, don't remove it altogether, but let us have this academical convive is the "Baron de B.-W.!" Érreur! I, the it just once or twice a week during the season. CHARLES, our Baron de B.-W., being of sound mind and body, hereby declare that friend,” do! It's worth while, if but to see you sitting carelessly the Baron himself was not present. And why? Well, do my at the end of the piece in that chair, R.I., as if you didn't care for readers remember the honest milk-maid's retort to the coxcomb who anything or anybody. Only-out the tag and come to the Curtain. said he wouldn't marry her ? Good. Then, substituting “me” for
you," and "he" for "she," the Baron can adopt the maiden's
reply. After this, other reasons would be superfluous. THE ETHICS OF MATCH-BOXES.
How came the reporter to fall into so great an error ? Who misBY COUNT DOLLSTOI.
informed him? À worthy henchman, as indignant as
Sam Weller when he found his beloved master's name trifled with, (Intended for a Contemporary, but found to be too short.) writes to ask me, "Ain't nobody to be whopped for takin' this here
liberty, Sir ?" With the immortal Mr. Pickwick, the Baron What is the true explanation of the use which people make of replies, "Certainly not. Not on any account.”. And, whatever that matches-of safety matches, wooden matches, wax matches, and, sturdy henchman may murmur to himself, he at once obeys. “Bring less commonly, of fusees? Ask any man why he uses such things, me my books!" cries the Baron," I am off to the review.” and he will tell you that he does it to get a light, or because others do it.
The Baron's Deputy writes, that he has again been steeping himself Is this true ? You will probably think so. Let us examine the in poetry, and reports as follows:- Ionica (GEORGE ALLEN) is a little question. Why does a man hold his hand in front of a match when volume, which no admirer of true poetry should fail to possess. The he lights it in the street ?. To screen it from the wind, or to hide it author now calls himself W. Cory, but he was known by a different from the sight of passers-by? Why do ladies leave the dinner-table name to many generations of Etonians. His Muse generally wears before the men begin to smoke? To avoid the smell of tobacco- a classical robe, but her speech is always delightfully musical. which is well known to be aromatic, healthy, and delightful or She has beautiful cadences, that haunt the memory like some because the natural modesty of women shrinks' from witnessing the old Volkslied. In spite of a careless confusion between thou” and striking of a match? Why, in a railway-carriago, do you hold
you,” I defy anybody to read “Heraclitus," to take only one your fusee out of window
when you lighť it? Is it because you instance, without a sense of pleasure which will compel him to learn do not care about being half-choked—a paltry plea-or is it to the two verses by heart. But the Muse is pathetio, playful, and conceal from young persons who may be in the carriage the sparkle patriotic, too, when the occasion fits,
and, whatever she sings, she which must inevitably remind them of wicked and alluring eyes ?
sings with genuine taste and feeling. Would that we might hope “ To get a light, or because others do it.” Is that true? Do not for
more of her pure music. So far the Deputy. trifle with the question. Read all my works. Do not get them who was represented as sitting in some sort of slop-shop, wheezing
Was that eccentric character in David Copperfield nameless, from a contemptible circulating library, but buy them.
out fiercely, “O my lights and liver! O goroo, goroo I" I think
DICKENS didn't give him a name, good or bad; bạt his constant Some may not yet be convinced that the striking of matches is repetition of the above outlandish exclamations has impressed suggestive and immoral., To me nearly everything is suggestive, upon him an awful and terrifio personality, which places him but there are some stupid persons in England. I will be patient among the more popular creations of Dickensian genius. Of what is with them, and give them more evidence.
this à propos ? you will ask the Baron. “Well," he will make A wax match is called a vesta. Who was Vesta ?. But this is reply, it is à propos of cookery books, and bookery cooks; the too horrible... I cannot pursne this point in a periodical which is latter being those who are not above teaching themselves from the read in families. I can only refer you to the classical dictionary, sacred books of Cookery, and who can put in practice the lessons they and remind you that everything most infallibly suggest its opposite. learn therein. Now," quoth the Baron, "let me recommend you to ask Again, there are matches which strike only on the box. It distresses at CHAPMAN AND HALL's for Hilda's. Where Is It' of Recipes, a me to write these words. The idea of onlyness," of restriction, work got up as simply and substantially as a good dinner should be, must bring matrimony to the mind of everyone. If you do not with pages in waiting, quite blank, all ready for your notes, - the know what I think about marriage, buy The Kreutzer Sonata. It book, like a dining-tablo, being appropriately interleaved ; and there is not customary to have more than one wife. Consequently, any is, happy thought, a pencil in the cover-side most handy for the thing which has one in it—as, for instance, the date of WILLIAM THE intending Lucullus." The season of Lent is an excellent one for CONQUEROR—reminds me of marriage, and is, therefore, degrading. cookery-books, because you can be studying for the dinner-giving Why, the
match” suggests marriage; and get we season, and then-do not forget the generally excellent advice of allow young children to sell whole boxes of them in the streets. I your friend,
THE BARON DE BOOK-WORMS.
WHEN GREEK MEETS GREEK." "THERE NOW, MR. Moss ! TAERE 'S A PICTURE FOR YER! WAY, HE 'S REGULAB DOWNRIGHT BUILT FOR YER, THAT LITTLE 'ORSE ISI SUIT YER TO A T,—AND DIRT-CHEAP AT A HUNDRED-AND-TWENTY GUINEAS !'
"EXACTLY, MR. ISAACS. KNOCK OFF THE HUNDRED, AND HE'S MINE !”
But “Mr. Fox's" lethal darts THE RIVAL “JARVIES ;” Make Union ” all my eye;
THE HUNDRED-AND-TEN-TONNER! OR, THE IRISI JAUNTING CAR.
Our ranks they thin (whilst our enemies grin),
What is it, that, with labour skilled. AIR:_“The Low-backed Car."
Though we cling to the Jaunting Car,
Though taking fall three years to build, “ Honest John" sings :We were better out of it, by far;
The place of better weapons filled ?
The Hundred-and-Ten-Tonner! WHEN first I knew CH-BL-9 ST-RT,
Can those Jarvies part 'Twas in a happier day,
What was it, though, that had to stoop,
Who fight for the Jaunting Car.
When fired, to putting on a hoop,
Spite this, yet found its muzzle "droop" P
The Hundred-and-Ten-Tonner ! Lop-wheel'd, and slack of spring;
But row galore is an awful bore,
And what, that matters made more hot,
Such curious ammunition got,
To victory we might haste, [noise, It cost £400 a shot P
The Hundred-and-Ten-Tonner !
Our efforts are cut to waste. [Car,
Yet, much to the tax-payer's bliss,
Our purpose those madmen mar, What, firing such a sum as this,
At eighteen hundred yards would miss ? CH-RL-S ST-RT at one rein, Sir,
With a tear and a sigh,
The Hundred-and-Ten-Tonner ! And J-ST-N at the other,
Hold on to the Jaunting Car. Give prospect small of progress
What is it, spite the First Lord's grace, In pummelling one another.
That guns of better make and case As Honest John my chance is gone
PAR ABOUT PICTURES.- Messrs. J. and W. At half the cost could well replace ? Of helping ill-used Pat, VOKINS, Great Portland Street, have an in
The Hundred-and-Ten-Tonner ! If the Union of Hearts in Shindy starts, teresting loan collection of some of the Old And the Message of Peace falls flat. Giants of the English Water-oolour School on
So, what no more upon the deep WILL and I on the Jaunting Car, view. There may be found TURNER, DE
Should John BULL floating useless keep, With the couple of Jarvies at war, Wint, WILLIAM HUNT, HOLLAND, COPLEY
from his Navy sweep?
The Hundred-and-Ten-Tonner ! Are sad to our souls,
FIELDING, STANFIELD, MULREADY, J. D. Wherefore win at the polls HABDING, besides many others. How good If we lose on the Jaunting Car ?
are the Old Giants, and their works are as
bright and fresh as the day they were painted. PROPOSED TUNNEL BETWEEN ENGLAND AND In battle's wild commotion,
Their reputations have not faded, neither IRELAND.-An Irishman observed this would With proud and hostile SM-TE,
have their piotures, and moreover, they are bridge over a lot of difficulties; he begged O'er Land or Tithe, our hearts were blithe, not likely to. And so say all of us! And 80 pardon, he meant it would Leth-bridge them Till P-RN-LL sapped our pith.
says, Yours paragonically, OLD PAB.