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DEAR MR. PUNCH,- I venture to address TO THE

you on a subject that I feel sure will enlist COURTS PICK DICK-ME-UP PEPPER is a new irritating your kind attention and sympathy, How am

I to get through Yule Tide ? Ought I to give PISKE-UP PEPPER is the Universal up the dispatoh of cards," of ought. Ito send PIONEE

ICK-ME-UP PEPPER sends the sleep- ances ? If I drop the custom, people who

ing baby instantly iging out of the like me will think I am cutting them, and cradle.

persons with whom I am less popular will PICHEM Grandfather suddenige mount to the fifth storey by leaps and bounds. Pick Me UP,PEPPER induces immeICK-ME-UP PEPPER

turns head-ache
Plakte bruip PEPPER literally blows
Poher PEPPER sets a whole

household on the sneeze.
Primetimes Infant School.
ICK-ME-UP PEPPER establishes fever

Tossing up for Turkey at Christmas Time.

ICK-ME-UP PEPPER paralyses the imagine that economy, not to say meanness,

is the cause of my ceasing to trouble the Post PICKI

ICK-ME-UP PEPPER drives a Chief Office. Suppose that I hang the expense,
Justice off the Bench.

and do send the cards. Well, I am in this “ DEFENCE, NOT DEFIANCE. PICKOR.

ICK-ME-UP PEPPER irritates the Soli- position; it is a matter of the greatest diffi

culty to get a suitable greeting to all those

who receive my annual benediction. If I “In these days of conflicts between Counsel, I ICK-ME-UP PEPPER maddens the have “ Wishing you and yours every happipropose to make a few additions to my usual dentist. forensic costume." - Extract from a Letter of

ness," with my appended name and address Mr. Welnown Kewsee, Q.C., to a young Friend.

ICK-ME-UP PEPPER sets the Arch- lithographed, the greeting seems cold, and bishop dancing a break-down.

even inappropriate, if addressed to, say, a AT THE END OF THE YEAR. Popher into a Lunatic Agyrum.

ICK-ME-UP PEPPER hurries the Philo- favourite Maiden Aunt; and unduly familiar

if forwarded to the acquaintance I saw for TO A FRIEND,

the first time in my life the day before PICTURE

ICK-ME-UP PEPPER staggers the ris- yesterday. Then if i trust to the ordinary Do you remember how we sat,

Christmas Cards of commerce, I am often at We two, in this same room together Last year, and talked of this and that,

ICK-ME-UP PEPPER causes the resig- a loss to select an appropriate recipient for a Pletom of the Prime Minister.

nestful of owls, or the picture of a Clown And warmed our toes and cursed the

entleman of highly weather ? PICHEME-UP. PEPPER makes a four-tomobing up an elderly

respectable appearance with a red-hot poker! And dreamed of fame, and puffed a cloud

ICK-ME-UP PEPPER is the sheet

If I get a representation of flowers, the chances (We both smoked briars, I remember),


are ten to one that the accompanying lines And sipped our whiskey hot, and vowed

are of a compromising character. It is To do or die ere next December? Prelied on by Master TOMMY.

ICK-ME-UP PEPPER may be safely obviously cruel to send to a recently-widowed We spoke without respect of Ben,

Uncle some verses about " Darby and Joan,' BEN who was ploughed, or very nearly;


DICK-ME-UP PEPPER, put in the and my Mother-in-law is not likely to feel Now BEN bamboozles jurymen,

baby's bottle, will divert the Nursery. complimented if I forward to her a poetically And makes his thousand guineas yearly.


DICK-ME-OP PEPPER, introduced into expressed suggestion that there is no pleaWe both despised the wretched JOE,

the Soup at a dinner-party, will lead santer place than her own home-away, of My fag at school, your butt at College. to a serious riot in the dining-room.

course, from her Son-in-law! And yet these

are the problems that meet the would-be Yule Dall, elephantine, pompous, slow,

ICK-ME-UP PEPPER, administered in Tide card distributer at every turn! I remain, Choked with absurdly useful knowledge.

will choke

my dear Mr. Punch, yours sincerely, Yet Joe assists to give us laws,


ONE WHO WISHES TO AVOID A Row. Speaks in the House, and shows his fat form, disorganiser of every Household.

P.8.-If this arrives late, thank the cards 'Midst empty thunders of applause, Erect on many a Tory platform.

PlekommenlyP bPEPPER. 4 Pinch will that have overtaxed the postal arrangements.

thoroughly banish sleep for And poor, inconsequential Jack, fortnight.

The United Service Diary for 1891. His mind a maze, like Mr. Toots's, UP


to Has married money, keeps a hack, GENARIAN CONSUMER” writes :-"I was

March. -Soldiers And has a big account at Coutts's. in a comatose condition for twenty years,

on leave. Sailors Tom owns a house in Belgrave Square, when I came across your Pepper. I had

at sea. Civil SerAnd Dick is noted for his dinnergscarcely tried it ere I bounded up from my

vants reading the Life is a race, but was it fair, (winners ? arm-chair, and have danced a continual fan

morning paper. We asked, that these 'should be the dango ever since. I carry it loose in all my

April to June.pockets, and scatter it on all my friends

Soldiers at play. We, too, would win ; and Heaven knows whenever I meet them. This has got me

Sailors in barbour. What vows we uttered fiery-hearted, kicked out of all their houses in turn; but I While '89 drew to its close,

Civil Servants do not in the least mind. I'm as merry and And '90 found us-80 we parted.

reading the mornas mad as a March hare-and your Pepper

ing paper. has done it." And here, good lack, while '90 wanes,

July to Septem

ber. - Soldiers at Our candles flaring in their sockets, We sit once more and count our gainstors beg to inform their Friends and

sea (autumn manWrinkles, grey hairs, and empty pockets. combustible and explosive compound in Patrons that they can supply this highly

cuvres). Sailors

Extremes Meet. at play (ditto). Yet, Heaven be thanked that made us friends; felt safety cases, carefully packed at their Civil Servants away (ditto).

Men prate of wealth in empty worde, I bomb-proof establishmentin Barking Marshes, October to December. -Soldiers on leave. Sit here content as '90 ends,

at the usual retail prices, viz., 18. 11d., Sailors at sea. Civil Servants reading the And sip my grog, and smoke my bird's-eye. 128. 9d., 118., 218., and 31s. 6d., &o., &c. morning paper.

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