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Moral Cosmetics....

... Horace Smith, 257

The Needle......

.Samuel Woodworth, 258

Franklin and his Customer.

259

Marriage of the Sun and Moon.

...Ellenwood, 260

Impatience about Trifles...

. Miss Edgeworth, 261

The Morning-gown.

..Diderot, 263

Conjugal Banquet.

264

Solon and Cresus,

.Enfield, 265

A Home Picture..

.Mrs. F. D. Gage, 266

People with One Idea....

..Hazlitt, 268

Where was the Emperor to Sit?..

.De Quincy, 269

Here's a Song for Old Dobbin..

.Mirror, : 270

Strike !......

.Ralph Hoyt, 273

The Quaker and the Soldier.

..Steele, 274

The Wants of Man......

.John Quincy Adams, 278

Is not a Palace but a Caravansary ?.

.Spectator, 283

The Three Warnings.

Mrs. Thrale, 284

Song of the Echo..

Dean Swift, 287

A Good Bee-hive..

.Jewell, 288

What is a Cottage without Bees .

.Wilson, 289

Johann, the Basket-maker...

290

Grateful Remorse....

. Andrews, 293

It will all be Right in the Morning..

.B. F. Taylor, 294

The Mission of Hobbleshank.

Cornelius Matthews, 295

The Fly and the Bullock........

.T. Moore, 297

Impertinent Curiosity... ...From Trials of a Housekeeper, 298

The Old Clock on the Stairs.

.Longfellow, 302

A Pretty Time of Night...

..J. C. Neal, 304

A Pretty Time of Night_Continued..

..J. C. Neal, 306

The Patient...

Gellert, 309

Eccentricities of Frederick, King of Prussia..

Förster, 311

Address to a Wife....

.Rev. S. Bishop, 314

Rain in Summer.

Longfellow, 815

A Street Scene.

. Lydia M. Child, 318

The Persian Peasant..

....Nicolai, 319

The Fine Gentleman.

.Soame Jenyns, 322

Blessed Almanacs ..

.B. F. Taylor, 324

Talent Wasted.-A Persian Fable...

326

Important Distinction..

.Cowper, 326

Conclusive Reasoning...

327

True Standard of a Man..

.Pope, 327

Toys of the Million...

327

PREFATORY DIALOGUE.

THOMAS HASTY VERSUS OLIVER OLLHAM.

HASTY.

Another book?
A humorous book?

Dear me! Oliver, how will it look?
A man as staid and sober as you,
Forsaking the ways of wisdom true,
And seeking after inventions new!
Why, what in the world d'you mean to do?
Will you abolish customs and rules,
Time out of mind, in vogue in the schools?
Make humor stand in gravity's place?
Learning from laughter borrow her grace?
Nurse the delusion, rife at this day,
That toil is needless, study is play?
Desist, my Friend; such conduct you'll rue:
Burn up your book! Away with it! Do!

OLDHAM.

Why, what's to pay?
Is that the way

You exercise your critical sway?
Assail an author,-condemn his book,
And that, before you give it a look ?
Is it not enough, to show your ire,
Without the blind, intol'rant desire
To hurl the work, unread, in the fire ?
If you must Eurybiades play,
Threat'ning a stick in the Spartan way,
Allow me, with deference here to say,
Deference, however, that knows no fear,
With brave Themistocles: "STRIKE, BUT HEAR!!**

HASTY.

Well, have your say,
And do away,

If you can, the strong objection, pray,
Which must belong to a book of mirth.
But what possesses you? What on earth
Has given, in you, the idea birth,
That humor with broad and laughing face,
Should take the sober, dignified place
Of teacher of youth, when well you know,
Young people are constituted so,

* See the anecdote on page 129 following.

That, if among them you cast a joke,
And so the Momus-Spirit evoke,
All thought is made on trifles to run
And learning falls a victim to fun?

OLDHAM.

But you'll admit,
On pondering it,

That humor contains nothing unfit
For teachers, whate'er their grade may be,
If only from impurity free;
For Addison, in his pedigree
Of Humor, (a piece I wish you'd see,)
Makes Truth the parent of all Good Sense;
Good Sense the parent of Wit; and thence,
By joining Wit in marriage with Mirth,
Deduces Humor's legitimate birth.
And Thackeray, one who ought to know,
(His words I quote in a note below,)*
Says humor is wit and love combined;
While I, Mr. Oldham, am much inclined
To be of the said Mr. Thack’ray's mind;
Though, figures aside, it seems to me
Genuine humor's made of all three !

* “I have said,” says he, “somewhere, I do know with what correctness, (for definitions are never complete,) that humor is wit and love; I am sure, at any rate, that the best humor is that which contains most humanity, that which is flavored throughout with tenderness and kindness.”—Eng. Humorists of the Nineteenth Century, p. 275.

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