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BY THE AUTHOR
HEIGHO for a Husband! The title's not bad...
But the Piece it precedes, is it merry or sad?
That remains to be prov'd---meantime let's descanta.
Tho' a saying so trite no explaining can want.
At boarding -school, Miss, having entered her teens,
Soon learnis of her elders what soft Heiglo! means;
Or at home with Mama, reading Novels so charming,
Finds her tender Heighos! grow each day more alarming:
E'en Mama, as Miss reads, can't suppress the sweet sigh ;
And, were Spousy but dead, would again Heigho! cry.
When mature, the young Lady, if nothing worth chancese
Proclaims Heigho!'aloud, and to Gretna Green prances ;
The prudish coy Females who thirty attain,
Cry, Heigho for a Husband! at length, but in vain!
For the men say, No, no? and, the down off the peach,
Reject what before they stood tip-toe to reach,
The widow of sixty, her seventh mate dead,
Cries Heigho! for an eighth, with one tooth in her head ;
A Colt's tooth, some call it, but I am afraid
The owner's more properly 'titled a Jade !
All ranks it pervades too, as well as all ages,
Heigho for a Husband! the Peeress engages ;
With four pearls on her coronet in her own right,
The Baroness sighs for five pearls day and night;
O, were she a Countess, how happy her state !
She marries an Earl, and is wretchedly great!
Should an eye to the pocket pollute our soft scenes,
The Author from Nature to paint only means:
From Nature alone? No! he owns it with pride,
That Nature and FARQUHAR him equally guide!
If therefore you track him in something well known,
Should he copy with taste, and his prototype own,
No Plagiarist deem him, but favour the loan.
BY GEORGE COLMAN, JUN. ESC.
THERE are some Husbands here, as I conjecture,
Who, before now, have heard a certain lecture...
Our curtain drawn, no lecture can be apter
Than one upon the matrimonial chapter.
I'H give you mine in brief--and let you know
Why Spinsters for a busband cry Heigho!
Why men run mad for wives 'till they have got 'em-,
I'll search you all, depend on't, to the bottom,
How sweetly glide the hours with Man and Wife!
First, for a trading pair, in lower life---
When frugal Mrs. Muns, on foggy nights,
One fat and cheerless callow candle lights,
When spouse and she experience, o'er its gloom,
The stifling transports of the small back room,
While Dick minds shop---all topicks as they handle,
He smokes-- while Dearee darns, and snuffs the candle.
"Lauk! vat a frosty night!" cries she, “I loves
“ A frost--aye sells so many fur-skin gloves.
" For my part--" then she darns... I thinks the tax
" On gloves vas made to break poor people's backs---
" I think that ve vere tax'd before enough ;
• Vaunt ve ?"---Muns gives a nod---then gives a puff.
4 Vell, Christmas vill be here, and then, you know
“ Our Jacky comes from school, from Prospect Row.
“ Ve'll take bim to The Children in the Vood,
* Vere BANNISTER they say's 90 monstrous good.
“ Shan't ve, my lovee ---that ve vill, adod !"
Muns gives another puff---but gives no nod.
“ Lauk, you're so glum---you never speaks, you don't...
“ Vy vont you talk a bit ?"...“ Because I won't.”.
“ You von't ?".--" I won't.”---" Vy then the devil fitch
« Such brutes as you?"..." A brute !---a brute, you---hum----"
Quit we the vulgar spouse, whose vulgar mind
Bids him be gross, because he can't be kind,
And seek the tonish pair, consign'd by Fate
To live in all the elegance of hate;
Whose lips a coarse expression ne'er defiles,
Who act with coolness, and torment in smiles,
Who prove (no rule of etiquette exceeding)
Most perfect loathing, with most perfect breeding.
When chance, for once, forbids my Lord to roam,
And cies him, tetè-à-tete, to dine at home,
The cloth remov’d, then comes Ennui and Hyp,
The wine, his tooth-pick ---and her Ladyship!
“ Pray, Ma'am.---.-" and then he yawns---" may I require
" When you came home?"---and then he stirs the fire.ca
“ I mean last night!”---“ Last night?..-as I'm alive,
" I scarce remember---0, to-day at five.
" And you?"--.“ Faith I forget---Hours are beneath
“ My notice, Madam;" then he picks his teeth.
" And pray, my Lord, to-morrow, where d'ye dine?"
« Faith I can't tell;"--and then he takes his wine.
Thus high and low your Lecturer explores---
One bigker step remains---and there he soars.
O! would you turn where HYMEN's flame divine,
In purest ray, and brightest colours thine,
Look on the THRONE---For HYMEN there is proud,
And waves his torch in triumph o'er the crowd;
There MAJESTY in mildness sits above,
And gives fresh luftre to CONNUBIAL Love! JAN. 22. The favourite Opera of “Love In A VILLAGE" was brought forward at the Haymarket Theatre, for the purpose of introducing in the character of Rosetta a Miss Leake to the stage. This young Lady made her first public appearance last year at Freemasons' Hall; where an uncommonly fine voice, with the advantage of considerable taste and powers, gained her most distinguished applause.
The Academy of Ancient Music, we believe, exhibited Miss Leake's vocal talents with great effect; it is, therefore, not surprising that she should have been received on the stage with the warmest plaudits. Those apprehensions which at first evidently oppress'd her were soon removed, and she performed the difficult character of Rosetta with more sprightliness and effect than we generally perceive at a first appearance.
A short acquaintance with the stage will, we have no doubt, give Miss Leake considerable celebrity as an actress. She is, it is said, the Pupil of Dr. Arnold, whose acknowledged abilities; will derive great credit from the performance of this young Lady.
FOR THE FREEMASONS' MAGAZINE.
DELIVERED AT A PROVINCIAL THEATRE,
BY A BROTHER,
ON HIS BENEFIT.
IVESTED of comic lightness, Fancy's pow'r,
I now appear with no alluring wile,
To raise the long-loud laugh, or gen'ral smile.
Cloth'd in this dress, therein accosting you,
Fictitious scenes, and satire must adieu.
My present pride's to boast this noble grace,
And own my union to an ancient race.
This grace is noble, since Virtue makes it so,
And stamps the man who wears it high or low,
As he his actions to the world doth sliow.
Our Order's age to Time himself's unknown,
And still shall flourish when his scythe's laid down.
When th' æra came for Nature to arise,
Vested with the work she hasted thro' the skies;
Beauty, and Strength and Wisdom then arose,
Attendant to fulfil her various laws.
Quick th' immortals hasten'd to descry
Her great designs, and saw with wond'ring eye
Discord and darkness fly before her face,
And sweetest Beauty fill the boundloss space.
They saw the Planets dance their wond'rous round,
By attraction's secret force in order bound.
They saw the Earth in glory rise to view,
Surprizid they stood, each diff'rent scene was new.
The crowning wonder next arose, and charm'd
'Their minds with greater force, for Man was form'd;
In whom the various graces all were join'd,
And Beauty, Strength and Wisdom were combin'd.
Their admiration then gave birth to praise,
They sung th' Architect in glorious lays.
Their lyres they tun'd with sweetest harmony,
And hail'd the matchless name of Masonry.
Such is the genial pow'r whose laws we own ;
Whose wisdom animates each duteous son,
Tho' witlings laugh, fools sneer, and bigots frown.
When sad corruption tainted human kind,
And prejudice thed darkness o'er the mind,
Men fled her presence, dazzled at her light,
And chose to wander in the wilds of night ;
Griev'd at the scene, reluctant she retird,
And in a sivin-fold veil her face attire.
No more in public are her truths reveald,
From all, but a chosen few, she keeps conceal'da
No'mixed gaze, no clam'rous noise she loves,
Wisdom in soberness, her mind approves.
But still (so 'tis decreed) she must retain
Some among men her science to maintain.,
For them the noblest fabrics she rears,
To crown their virtues, and to ease their cares.
Within those walls no trivial merit's known,
No wild Ambition, Envy's jealous frown,
Jaundic'd Suspicion, Satire's vengeful sneer,
Dare not intrude, immortal Truth is there.
Friendship and Love, with all their charming train,
In Masonry's bright temples ever reign---
On her grand altars no characters are slain.
What, though the weak may point with foolish sneers
At those who're Masons but by what they wear;
And sagely ask if Masonry's so good,
Why are the lives of these so very rude?
Yet candid minds (and such do here abound)
Will own the good, tho bad ones may be found.
Search Orders thro', e'en sacred are not free,
From those who are not what they ought to be.
Still so exact are Masonry's bright rules,
They none offend, but vicious men, or fools.
Brethren to you, by whom these Truths are known,
I now beg leave to turn, for favours shown
My thanks are due, accept them from a heart
That feels the Brother's tic in every part.
Long may your Lodge remain the honour'd seat
Of each Masonic Virtue, good and great!
May ev'ry member as a Mason shine,
And round his heart its ev'ry grace entwine!
While here below, may Heav'n upon him show'r
Its choicest gifts, and in a distant hour,
Gently from the Lodge below his soul remove
To the Grand Lodge of Masonry above !
ON THE DECEIT OF THE WORLD.
H! What a Crocodilian world is this,
Composed of treachery and insnaring wiles;
She clothes destruction with a formal kiss,
And lodges death in her deceitful smiles.
She hugs the soul she hates, and there does prove,
The veriest tyrant when she vows to love,
And is a serpent most, when most she seems a dove.
Thrice happy he, whose nobler thoughts despise,
To make an object of so easy gains---
Thrice happy he, who scorns so poor a prize
Should be the crown of his heroic pains :
Thrice happy he, that ne'er was born to try
Her frown or smiles, or, being born, did lic
In his sad nurse's arms an hour or two, and die.
ON THE VANITY OF THE WORLD.
STREA's fled, and from earth love return'd,
Earth boil'd with lust---With rage it burn'd ;
And ever since, the world has been
Kept going with the scourge of Lust and Spleen.
Not length of days, nor solid strength of brain,
Can find a place wherein to rest secure;
The world is various, and the earth is vain---
There's nothing certain here, there's nothing sure:
We trudge, we travel but from pain to pain,
And what's our only grief?s our only bane.
The world's a torment, he that would endeavour
To find the way to rest, must seek the way to leave her.
What less than foul is man, to strive and plot,
And lavish out the strength of all his care,
To gain poor seeming goods, which being got
Makes firm possession but homely fare.
I cannot weep, until thou broach, mine eye,
O, give me vent, or else I burst and die !
Fraught with the acts of Macedonia's Chief,
Discordant passions in his bosom rage,
And sudden tears declare his inward grief.
And when his anxious friends, who round him stood,
Ask'd, what disturb'd the quiet of his breast---
While yet his eyes distillid a briny food,
The future tyrant thus his cares express'd-..
66 Erc Philip's gallant son my years attain'd,
His triumphs round the earth's wide orb was spread;
Ambition's lofty seat the hero gain'd,
And Conquest twin'd her laurels round his head.
While I remain unnotic'd and unknown,
A novice yet among the sons of Fame,
Where are the trophies I can call my own
What spoils of victory can Cæsar claim?"
Thus Julius burning with Ambition's fire,
At length, thro' Roman blood, to empire-rose---
But henceforth may that wretch accurs’d expire
Whose glory on his country's ruin grows.
May fortune always their endeavours bless,
Who struggle to defend their country's cause,
May victory crown their labours with success,
Who fight for Freedom, and for patriot Laws.
But those who dare a People's rights invade,
Who millions for dominions would enslave;
May all their toils with infamy be paid,
Not, tears---but curses wait them to the grave,
In deep oblivion may their acts lxe hid,
That none their despot victories may read;
As Greece, her sons, to sound bis name forbidt,
Who, to be known, perform'd a villain's deed. A BRITON.
* See Plutarch's Life of Cæsar.
† Erostratus, who, to perpetuate his name, set fire to the temple of Diana, at Ephesus.