• Starers. By this means you will relieve the Innocent from an Infult which there is no Law to punish, tho' it is a greater Offence than many which are within the Cognizance of Juftice. I am,

SIR, Your most humble Servant,
Abraham Spy.'

No 251. Tuesday, December 18.

Ferrea Vox.

Τ'

Lingue centum funt, oraque centum,

Virg.'

HERE is nothing which more aftonishes a Foreigner, and frights a Country Squire, than the Cries of London. My good Friend Sir ROGER often declares, that he cannot get them out of his Head, or go to Sleep for them, the first Week that he is in Town. On the contrary, WILL. HONEYCOMB calls them the Ramage de la Ville, and prefers them to the Sounds of Larks and Nightingales, with all the Mufick of the Fields and Woods. I have lately received a Letter from fome very odd Fellow upon this Subject, which I fhall leave with my Reader, without faying any thing further of it.

SIR,

I

Ama Man out of all Bufinefs, and would willingly turn my Head to any thing for an honest Livelihood. • I have invented feveral. Projects for raifing many Millions of Money without burdening the Subject, but I cannot get the Parliament to liften to me, who look upon me forfooth, as a Crack, and a Projector; fo that defpairing to enrich either my felf or my Country by this Publick-fpiritedness, I would make fome Propofals to you relating to a Defign which I have very much at Heart, and which may procure me a handfom Subfiftence, if you will be pleased to recommend it to the Cities of London and Westminster.

6

THE Poft I would aim at, is to be Comptroller• General of the London Cries, which are at present under no manner of Rules or Difcipline. I think I am pretty well qualified for this Place, as being a Man of

very strong Lungs, of great Infight into all the Branches of our British Trades and Manufactures, and of a 6 competent Skill in Musick.

THE Cries of London may be divided into Vocal and Inftrumental. As for the latter they are at prefent under a very great Disorder. A Freeman of London has the Privilege of disturbing a whole Street for an Hour toge⚫ther, with the Twanking of a Brafs-Kettle or a FryingPan. The Watchman's Thump at Midnight startles us in our Beds, as much as the Breaking in of a Thief. The Sowgelder's Horn has indeed fomething mufical in it, but this is feldom heard within the Liberties. I would therefore propofe, that no Inftrument of this Nature 'fhould be made use of, which I have not tuned and licenfed, after having carefully examined in what manner it may affect the Ears of her Majefty's liege Subjects.

VOCAL Cries are of a much larger Extent and in⚫ deed fo full of Incongruities and Barbarifms, that we ap• pear a diftracted City to Foreigners, who do not comprehend the Meaning of fuch enormous Outcries. Milk ⚫ is generally fold in a Note above E la, and in Sounds fo exceeding fhrill, that it often fets our Teeth on Edge. The Chimney-fweeper is confined to no certain Pitch; ⚫he fometimes utters himself in the deepest Base, and • fometimes in the fharpeft Treble; fometimes in the higheft, and fometimes in the lowest Note of the Ga· mut. The fame Obfervation might be made on the Re⚫tailers of Small-coal not to mention broken Glaffes or Brick-duft. In these therefore, and the like Cafes, it 'fhould be my Care to fweeten and mellow the Voices ⚫ of these itinerant Tradefmen, before they make their Appearance in our Streets, as alfo to accommodate their Cries to their respective Wares; and to take care in particular, that thofe may not make the most Noise who ⚫ have the least to fell, which is very obfervable in the • Venders of Card-matches, to whom I cannot but apply ⚫ that old Proverb of Much Cry but little Wool.

4

'SOME of these laft mentioned Muficians are so very loud in the Sale of these trifling Manufactures, that an honeft fplenetick Gentleman of my Acquaintance bargained with one of them never to come into the Street where he lived: But what was the Effect of this • Con

Contract? Why, the whole Tribe of Card-match-ma'kers which frequent that Quarter, paffed by his Door ⚫ the very next Day, in Hopes of being bought off affter the fame manner.

IT is another great Imperfection in our London Cries, that there is no juft Time nor Measure observed in them. • Our News fhould indeed be published in a very quick Time, because it is a Commodity that will not keep 'cold. It fhould not, however, be cried with the fame Precipitation as Fire: Yet this is generally the Cafe: A Bloody Battle alarms the Town from one End to ano❝ther in an Inftant. Every Motion of the French is pub⚫lished in fo great a Hurry, that one would think the Enemy were at our Gates. This likewife I would take upon me to regulate in fuch a manner, that there should be fome Diftinction made between the spreading of a Victory, a March, or an Incampment, a Dutch, a Portugal, or a Spanish Mail. Nor must I omit under this Head thofe exceffive Alarms with which feveral boisterous Rufticks infeft our Streets in Turnip-Seafon; and ' which are more inexcufable, because these are Wares 'which are in no Danger of cooling upon their Hands.

THERE are others who affect a very flow Time, and are, in my Opinion, much more tunable than the 'former; the Cooper in particular fwells his laft Note in an hollow Voice, that is not without its Harmony; nor can I forbear being inspired with a most agreeable Melancholy, when I hear that fad and folemn Air with ' which the Publick are very often asked, if they have · any Chairs to mend? Your own Memory may fuggeft to you many other lamentable Ditties of the fame Nature, in which the Mufick is wonderfully languishing and melodious.

I am always pleased with that particular Time of the ⚫ Year which is proper for the pickling of Dill and Cu⚫ cumbers; but alas, this Cry, like the Song of the Nightingale, is not heard above two Months. It would there'fore be worth while to confider, whether the fame Air might not in fome Cafes be adapted to other Words.

IT might likewise deserve our most serious Confideration, how far in a well regulated City, thofe Humourists are to be tolerated, who, not contented with

the traditional Cries of their Forefathers, have invented
particular Songs and Tunes of their own: Such as was
· not many Years fince, the Paftry-man, commonly
known by the Name of the Colly-Molly-Puff; and fuch
as is at this Day the Vender of Powder and Wash-
balls, who, if I am rightly informed, goes under the
Name of Powder-Watt.

I must not here omit one particular Abfurdity which
runs through this whole vociferous Generation, and
⚫ which renders their Cries very often not only incommo-
⚫dious, but altogether useless to the Publick; I mean, that
⚫ idle Accomplishment which they all of them aim at, of
crying fo as not to be understood. Whether or no they
⚫ have learned this from feveral of our affected Singers, I
will not take upon me to fay; but moft certain it is,
that People know the Wares they deal in rather by their
Tunes than by their Words; infomuch that I have fome-
⚫ times feen a Country Boy run out to buy Apples of a
• Bellows-mender, and Ginger-bread from a Grinder of
• Knives and Sciffars. Nay fo ftrangely infatuated are
fome very eminent Artists of this particular Grace in
a Cry, that none but their Acquaintance are able to
guefs at their Profeffion; for who elfe can know, that
Work if I had it, fhould be the Signification of a Corn
< cutter?

6

FORASMUCH therefore as Perfons of this Rank
are seldom Men of Genius or Capacity, I think it would
be very proper, that fome Man of good Senfe and found
Judgment fhould prefide over thefe publick Cries, who
fhould permit none to lift up their Voices in our Streets,
⚫ that have not tuneable Throats, and are not only able to
overcome the Noife of the Croud, and the Rattling of
• Coaches, but also to vend their refpective Merchandises
in apt Phrafes, and in the moft diftinct and agreeable
Sounds. I do therefore humbly recommend my felf as
a Perfon rightly qualified for this Poft; and if I meet
with fitting Encouragement, fhall communicate fome
other Projects which I have by me, that may no less
conduce to the Emolument of the Publick.

I am SIR, &c.

Ralph Crotchet.

THE

INDE X.

A

A.

Blence of Lovers, Death in Love, N. 241. How to
be made eafy, ibid.

Abftinence, the Benefits of it, N. 195.
Accompts, their great Usefulness, N. 174.

213.

No

Acofta, his Anfwer to Limborch touching the Multiplicity
of Ceremonies in the Jewish Religion, N. 213.
Action, a threefold Divifion of our Actions, N.
right Judgment to be made of them, 174.
Admiration, one of the moft pleafing Paffions, N. 237.
Adverfity, no Evil in it felf, N. 237.

Advertisement from Mr. Sly the Haberdasher, N. 187.
About the Lottery Ticket, 191.

Ambition, by what to be measured, N. 188. Many times as
hurtful to the Princes who are led by it as the People,
200. Moft Men subject to it, 219, 224. Of Ufe when
rightly directed, 219.

Annihilation, by whom defired, N. 210. The most ab-
ject of Wishes, ibid.

Apes, what Women so called, and described, N. 244.
Apollo's Temple on the Top of Leucate, by whom fre
quented, and for what purpose, N. 223.
Apothecary, his Employment, N. 195.

Appetites, fooner moved than the Paffions, N. 208.
Argument, Rules for the Management of one, N. 197.
Argumentum Baflinum, what, 239. Socrates his way of
arguing, ibid. In what manner managed by States
and Communities, ibid.

Argus, his Qualifications and Employments under Juno,

N. 250.
VOL. III.