And the spokesman, a grave squire of sixty, with countenance sol

emnly sad,

Spoke thus, while the children all listened, with all of the ears that they had:

"We've come here, school-master, intendin' to cast an inquirin' eye 'round,

Concernin' complaints that's been entered, an' fault that has lately been found;

"To pace off the width of your doin's, an' witness what you've been

about,

An' see if it's payin' to keep you, or whether we'd best turn ye out.

"The first thing I'm bid for to mention is, when the class gets up to read, You give 'em too tight of a reinin' an' touch 'em up more than they need;

"You're nicer than wise in the matter of holdin' the book in one han'. An' you turn a stray g in their doin's, an' tack an odd d on their an.

"There ain't no great good comes of speakin' the words so polite, as I see,

Providin' you know what the facs is, an' tell 'em off jest as they be.

"An' then there's that readin' in concert, is censured from first unto last; It kicks up a heap of a racket, when folks is a travelin' past.

"Whatever is done as to readin', providin' things go to my say, Sha'n't hang on no new-fangled hinges, but swing in the old-fashioned way."

And the other four good district fathers gave quick the consent that was due,

And nodded obliquely, and muttered, "Them 'ere is my sentiments tew."

"Then as to your spellin'; I've heern tell by them as has looked into

this,

That you turn the " out of your labor, an' make the word shorter than 't is;

"An' clip the off your musick, which makes my son Ephraim per

plexed,

An' when he spells out as he ought'r, you pass the word on to the next.

They say there's some new-grafted books here that don't take them

letters along;

But if it is so, just depend on't, them new-grafted books is made wrong.

"You might jest as well say that Jackson didn't know all there was

about war,

As to say that old spellin'-book Webster didn't know what them letters was for."

And the other four good district fathers gave quick the consent that was due,

And scratched their heads slyly and softly, and said, "Them's my sentiments tew."

"Then, also, your 'rithmetic doin's, as they are reported to me,

Is that you have left Tare and Tret out, an' also the old Rule of Three;

"An' likewise brought in a new study, some high-stepping scholars to please,

"With saw-bucks an crosses and pot-hooks, an' w's, x, y's and z's.

"We ain't got no time for such foolin'; there ain't no great good to be reached.

By tip-toein' childr'n up higher than ever their fathers was teached."

And the other four good district fathers gave quick the consent that was due,

And cocked one eye up to the ceiling, and said, "Them's my sentiments tew."

"Another thing I must here mention, comes into the question to-day, Concerning some things in the grammar you're teaching our girls for

to say.

"My gals is as steady as clockwork, an' never give cause for much

fear,

But they come home from school t'other evenin' a talkin' such stuff as this here:

"I love,' an' 'Thou lovest,' an' 'He loves,' an' 'You love, an' 'they'

An' they answered my questions, ‘It's grammar'—'t was all I could get 'em to say.

Now if, 'stead of doin' your duty, you're carryin' matters on so

As to make the gals say that they love you, it's just all that I want to know."

IV.

Now Jim, the young heaven-built mechanic, in the dusk of the even. ing before,

Had well nigh unjointed the stove-pipe, to make it come down on the floor;

And the squire bringing smartly his foot down, as a clincher to what he had said,

A joint of the pipe fell upon him, and larruped him square on the

head.

The soot flew in clouds all about him, and blotted with black all the

place,

And the squire and the other four fathers were peppered with black in the face.

The school, ever sharp for amusement, laid down all their cumbersome books,

And, spite of the teacher's endeavors, laughed loud at their visitors' looks.

And the squire, as he stalked to the doorway, swore oaths of a violet hue;

And the four district fathers, who followed, seemed to say,

"Them's

my sentiments tew."

WILL CARLETON.

1

THE BACHELOR SALE.

I dreamed a dream in the midst of my slumbers,

And as fast as I dreamed it was coined into numbers;
My thoughts ran along in such beautiful meter,
I'm sure I ne'er saw any poetry sweeter.

It seemed that a law had been recently made,
That a tax on old bachelors' pates should be laid;
And, in order to make them all willing to marry,
The tax was as large as a man could well carry.

The bachelors grumbled, and said 'twas no use, 'Twas cruel injustice and horrid abuse –

And declared that to save their hearts' blood from spilling, Of such a vile tax they would not pay a shilling.

But the rulers determined their scheme to pursue,
So they set all the bachelors up at vendue.

A crier was sent through the town to and fro,
To rattle his bell and his trumpet to blow,
And to cry out to all he might meet on his way,
"Ho! forty old bachelors sold here to-day!”

And presently all the old maids of the town,—
Each one in her very best bonnet and gown,--
From thirty to sixty, fair, plain, red and pale,
Of every description, all flocked to the sale.

The auctioneer then in his labor began;

And called out aloud, as he held up a man,

"How much for a bachelor? Who wants to buy?" In a twink, every maiden responded, "I-I!"

In short, at a highly extravagant price,
The bachelors all were sold off in a trice,

And forty old maidens-some younger, some older-
Each lugged an old bachelor home on her shoulder.

ANONYMOUS.

GENERAL U. S. GRANT.

[This extract is from an eloquent speech of Colonel Vilas, now Postmaster General, delivered at Chicago, November 13, 1879, at the Reunion of the "Army of the Tennessee," in response to the toast, "Our First Commander." General Gran: had but just returned from his unique "Tour Around the World," and was at the time a guest of his old comrades. The vast assembly rose to its feet as the eloquent speaker concluded his response, the hall resounding with tumultuous applause and cheers.]

Joined to it by such a story, and especially when so assembled, his old associates and soldiers in war, we may rightfully without cen. sure and without adulation, claim and speak the just measure of his merit and renown. Nor shall his presence deny that satisfaction to us. His reputation is not his, nor even his country's alone. It is, in part, our peculiar possession. We, who fought to aid its rising, may well rejoice in its meridian splendor.

The foundations of his title are deep laid and safe. There was reaction in the minds of our people after the intense strain of war, and many distracting subjects for attention. But, with regained compos ure and reflection, his reputation augments, and its foundations appear more and more immovably fixed for lasting duration. They spring not from merely having enjoyed possession of the honors of place and power which his countrymen have bestowed; others have had them too. They lie not specially on his shining courage and personal conduct before the enemy, who was never outdone in calm intrepidity, nor in the splendid daring with which he ever urged the battle he immediately ordered, though long these will live in song and story. Beyond the warrior's distinction, which was his earlier glory, he is the true genus of the General. The strategic learning of the military art was to him a simple implement, like colors and brush to a Raphael, not fetters to the mind. How like a weapon in a giant's hand did he wield the vast aggregation of soldiery whose immensity oppressed so many minds! How easily moved his divisions, yet how firm the place of all! How every soldier came to feel his participation a direct contribution to the general success. And when, at length, his merit won the government of the entire military power of the North, how perfect became, without noise or friction, the co-operation of every army, of every strength, throughout the wide territory of war toward the common end! Subordinate every will and jealous soul, the profound military wisdom of the capital even, to the clear purpose and comprehensive grasp of the one commanding mind. Then how rapidly crumbled on every side the crushed revolt! When