unto them and their children the anthropomorphic primordial types.

18. The homunculus, the prognathus, the troglodyte, the autochthon, the terragene-these are the generations of primeval man.

19. And primeval man was naked and not ashamed, but lived in quadrumanous innocence, and struggled mightily to harmonise with the environment.

20. And by inheritance and natural selection did he progress from the stable and homogeneous to the complex and heterogeneous-for the weakest died, and the strongest grew and multiplied.

21. And man grew a thumb for that he had need of it, and developed capacities for prey.

22. For, behold, the swiftest men caught the most animals, and the swiftest animals got away from the most men wherefore the slow animals were eaten and the slow men starved to death.

23. And as types were differentiated the weaker types continually disappeared.

24. And the earth was filled with violence; for man strove with man, and tribe with tribe, whereby they killed off the weak and foolish, and secured the survival of the fittest.

From The Church Times, February 1875.

Two other poems on the scientific theory of evolution remain to be quoted, although neither can strictly be termed a parody. The first, written by Charles Neaves (afterwards Lord Neaves) appeared originally in Blackwood's Magazine, it was afterwards reprinted in "Songs and Verses, by an old contributor to Maga." Edinburgh. W. Blackwood & Sons.

THE ORIGIN OF SPECIES.

HAVE you heard of this question the Doctors among,
Whether all living things from a Monad have sprung?
This has lately been said, and it now shall be sung,
Which nobody can deny.

Not one or two ages sufficed for the feat,
It required a few millions the change to complete,
But now the thing's done, why it looks rather neat,
Which nobody can deny.

The original Monad, our great-great-grandsire,
To little or nothing at first did aspire;
But at last to have offspring it took a desire,

Which nobody can deny.

Excrescences fast were now trying to shoot;
Some put out a finger, some put out a foot,
Some set up a mouth, and some sent down a root,
Which nobody can deny.
Some, wishing to walk, manufactured a limb;
Some rigged out a fin, with a purpose to swim ;
Some opened an eye, which remained dark and dim.
Which nobody can deny.
Some creatures grew bulky, while others were small,
As nature sent food for the few, or for all;
And the weakest, we know, ever go to the wall,

Which nobody cnn deny.

An Ape with a pliable thumb and big brain,
When the gift of the gab he had managed to gain,
As a Lord of Creation established his reign,
Which nobody can deny.

The second, by the late Mr. Mortimer Collins, appeared in "The British Birds, a communication from the Ghost of Aristophanes." London, 1872. A work which is now very scarce,

THE POSITIVISTS.

LIFE and the Universe show spontaneity:
Down with ridiculous notions of Deity!

Churches and creeds are all lost in the mists,
Truth must be sought with the Positivists.
Wise are their teachers beyond all comparison,
Comte, Huxley, Tyndall, Mill, Morley, and Harrison:
Who will adventure to enter the lists
With such a squadron of Positivists.
Social arrangements are awful miscarriages;
Cause of all crime is our system of marriages.
Poets with sonnets and lovers with trysts
Kindle the ire of the Positivists.
Husbands and wives should be all one community,
Exquisite freedom with absolute unity.

Wedding-rings worse are than manacled wrists-
Such is the creed of the Positivists.

There was an APE in the days that were earlier;
Centuries passed, and his hair became curlier;

Centuries more gave a thumb to his wrist-
Then he was MAN, and a Positivist.

If you are pious (mild form of insanity),
Bow down and worship the mass of Humanity.
Other religions are buried in mists-
We're our own gods, say the Positivists.

AN AMERICAN VIEW OF BICYCLING.

'And in these days the young man of the city is possessed of a demon, and he taketh it upon him to learn to ride the bicycle. And he goeth unto them that teach the instrument; and he sayeth unto them, Lo, now, teach me this thing, at one half a trade shekel the hour. And they make answer and say unto him, Behold now; here is the machine; and here art thou. Get on it, therefore and ride; for all things are possible to him that hath nerve.

And he taggeth after that machine for the next six weeks; yea, even until both his knees are like unto works of decorative art for colourful picturesqueness; and he frescoeth his entire person in black and blue, and he smasheth the machine variously and expensively; and in the fulness of time he learneth to mount and ride, and becometh an alleged proficient in the art.

And then, being puffed up with vanity, and being made mad with an injudicious ambition, he saith unto himself : Lo, now, I will try this thing upon the road. And he getteth permission to pay the hire of a machine, and to take the same up the avenue which is called fifth, to the northward of the hill which is called the Hill of Nobs; because of the exceedingly great number of nobs which dwell thereabouts.

And being mounted, he passeth out of the gates of the city, and journeyeth towards the suburbs, being at times in the saddle, and at other times for variety's sake (which

312,

is, as was spoken by the prophets, as a spice unto life), upon his head.

And it shall come to pass that he meeteth casual maidens, who shall smile upon him, and make glad his heart within him. And, for that man is foolish and mankind is indiscreet, he shall put on the frills of vanity, and ride in the curves of conceit, and take no heed.

And in the end there shall come that way a school of young maidens, who shall say each one unto the other: Behold him upon the bicycle; and behold the young man Is he not comely; and is he not fair upon two wheels. to see among the young men of Israel? And moreover shall it come to pass that the young man shall be tempted of the evil one, and shall undertake to turn on the cuter edge, and to put his legs over the handle, and shall generally be so previous and preliminary that presently the young students of Bellevue Hospital shall cobble him after their own will and fashion.

And when he shall have recovered as much as he ever shall, that young man will give his bycycle unto his bitterest enemy, whom he hateth with a hate unspeakable, saying: Let this be for a peace-offering from me to thee; and let there be no more strife between us.

For is there not peace in the grave; and shall war be waged against them that are utterly smashed up." Puck. United States.

1880.

A PUBLICAN'S CARD.

The Church of England Temperance Chronicle says:-A card has reached us, bearing on one side the inscription— HARRY HILL, Market Hall Vaults,

Shambles, Worcester.

On the reverse the following parody is printed :—

1.

HARRY HILL'S

Instructions to his Disciples.

6.

made glad.

7.

8.

9.

10.

Feast.

12.

A PARODY BY MR. RUSKIN ON USURY. THE author of a book entitled "Usury and the English Bishops" (by R. G. Sillar, with an introduction by Professor Ruskin. A. Southey, 146, Fenchurch-street, London), dedicates it, "without permission," to the Bishops of Manchester, Mr. Ruskin, in an introducPeterborough, and Rochester. tion, endorses in the following language the opinions expressed :

I rejoice to see my old friend Mr. Sillar gathering finally together the evidence he has so industriously collected on the guilt of Usury, and supporting it by the always impressive language of symbolical art; for indeed I had myself no idea, till I read the connected statement which these pictures illustrate, how steadily the system of money-lending had gained on the nation, and how fatally every hand and foot was now entangled by it.

"I place," says Mr. Ruskin, "side by side the ancient and modern versions of the seven verses of the New Testament which were the beginning, and are indeed the heads, of all the teachings of Christ :-

THE three following examples of Scripture knowledge are said to have been written by Metropolitan School Board pupils in answer to questions put to them by Government "Who was Moses?-He was an Egypsian. Inspectors. He lived in a hark maid of bullrushers, and he kept a golden carf and worshipt braizen snakes and het nothin but qwhales He was kort up by the air of and manner for forty years. His end his ed while ridin under a bow of a tree and he was killed by his son Abslon as he was hanging from the bow. was peace." Wun was "What do you know of the patriarch Abraham?—He was the father of Lot and had tew wifes. called Hismale and tother Haygur. He kep wun at home and he hurried the tother into the dessert where she became a pillow of salt in the daytime and a pillow of fire at nite." "Write an account of the good Samaritan.-A certing man went down from jerslam to jerriker and he feld among thawns and the thawns spranged up and choaked him ; wareupon he gave tuppins to the hoast and said take care on him and put him on his hone hass. And he passt bye on the hother side."

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Book of the Wars of Westminster, from the fall of the Fox at the close of 1783 to 1784, on which William the Conqueror celebrated the Third Grand Lent Festival at the London. An Oriental Prophecy. Printed for Ishmael the son of Elishama. 1783.

The Chronicle of the Kingdom of the Cassiterides, under the reign of the House of Lunen. A Fragment translated from an Ancient Manuscript. London: G. Wilkie, 1783.

This describes the tremendous siege of Gibraltar by the French and Spaniards, and the political questions of the day, in Scriptural phraseology.

The Oriental Chronicles of the Times: being the Translation of a Chinese manuscript; with Notes supposed to have been originally written in the spirit of Prophecy, by Confucius the Sage. Dedicated to her Grace the Duchess of Devonshire. London. J. Debrett, Piccadilly.

This describes, in Biblical language, the triumph of Charles James Fox, in the great contested Election at Westminster in 1784.

The Plague of Westminster, or an order for the visitation of a sick Parliament, 1647-Harleian Miscellany.

Père la Chaise, Parody of the Catechism.

Fair Circassian, by the Rev. Mr. Croxal, a parody of the Canticles.

British Freeholder's Political Creed.
Humorous Magazine. Te Deum.

The Oracle in 1807. The Lord's prayer parodied. Recruiting Bill. "Royal Volunteers, now is the time to obtain honour and glory. Wanted, immediately to serve Jehovah, who will reward them according to their zeal and ability, a vast number of people of all descriptions, who will on joining the Commanding Officer, receive new clothes, proper accoutrements, and everything necessary for their appearance at the New Jerusalem

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In The Spirit of the Public Journals for 1809 (Vol. XIII., London, J. Ridgway), there is a scriptural imitation, styled A Tale of other Times. This originally appeared in the "Morning Post." It was an endeavour to apologise for the conduct of the Duke of York, who had been compelled, by public opinion, to resign the office of Commanderin-Chief, owing to the exposure of a wholesale traffic in army commissions, carried on by his mistress, Mrs. Clarke. The parody represents the Duke as more of a fool than a knave; it has, however, never yet been settled whether folly or knavery preponderated in his disposition. These qualities appear to have been pretty equally balanced, and this parody does not decide the question.

In Vol, 16 of the same collection, for 1812, there is an imitation, called Book of Chronicles, it is political, and devoted to the abuse of Charles James Fox, and his adherents.

The Seven Chapters of the First Book of Things; being a Concise and Impartial account of the Birmingham Riots. By Levi Ben Mordecai. This imitation of biblical phrase

ology occurs in a little work entitled "Poems, by the late Mr. Stephen Chatterton, of Willenhall." London, printed for the Author's Widow. 1795.

It relates entirely to the politics of the day, and commences with a description of the capture of the Bastille, in Paris. The First Book of Napoleon, the Tyrant of the Earth, written in 5813 A. M., and 1809 A. D., by Eliakim the Scribe. 1809.

The Morning Herald (London), May 4, 1812, contained a scriptural parody ridiculing Lord Grenville.

Chronicles of Coxheath Camp. A satire on General Keppel, who commanded at Coxheath. By Francis Grose F.R.S. This is in scriptural form, and appeared in The Olio, 1792. It was referred to by William Hone, in his trials, but is not worth reprinting.

The Chronicles of Westminster. This scriptural imitation will be found in the well-known quarto collection, The History of the Westminster Election.

The Court of Session Garland. Edited by James Maidment Esq. London, Hamilton, Adams & Co., 1888. This curious collection of Ballads, Parodies and Epigrams, mostly written by members of the Scottish legal profession, contains several pieces written in scriptural style. The longest, entitled, The Book of the Chronicles of the City, relates to a contested election in Edinburgh; another is A Chapter from the Book of Kings, which was found in Mr. Hume's Collection. Another called Book of Proclamaions was written in 1837.

These imitations are long, and of little present interest, except perhaps to a few old residents of Edinburgh.

The Book of Benjamin. Appointed to be read by the Electors of England. London, Charles Watts, 1879. This consists of ten chapters, describing in biblical language, the acts of Benjamin D'Israeli, from a Liberal standpoint.

The Second Book of Benjamin. A record of things past, present, and to come. London, Charles Watts, 1879. A continuation of the above.

The Fall of Benjamin. By Alfred Capel Shaw, author of the two foregoing pamphlets. London, Watts and Co., 1880. This is the last of the trio, and concludes thus :"And all the land knew that Benjamin had fallen, and that he was driven forth into the wilderness. And, behold, Gladstone the Liberal ruled in his stead."

The New Gospel of Peace according to St. Benjamin.— New York, Sinclair Tousey. In two books. No date, but since 1863. This is a most remarkable account of the Great American Civil War, in scriptural language, the names of persons and places being ingeniously spelt so as to give them a Biblical appearance. It is arranged in chapters and verses.

The Awful and Ethical Allegory of Deuteronomy Smith; or, the Life-history of a Medical Student. Anonymous. Edinburgh, George Dryden, 1882. This describes, in biblical style, the adventures of a rather racketty young medical student in Edinburgh.

The Secularists' Manual of Songs and Ceremonies, Edited by Austin Holyoake. London, Austin & Co. About 1871. This contains a series of services for Freethinkers, suitable for Weddings, Christenings (or naming children) and for Funerals.

The New Book of Kings, by J. Morrison Davidson. Manchester. John Heywood. This is not written, as its name would suggest, in imitation of the Scriptures. It is an exceedingly outspoken history of the inner life and misdeeds of the Kings and Queens of England.

The Freethinker, edited by G. W. Foote, and published weekly at Stonecutter Street, London, contains many

imitations of Biblical and Liturgical matters, which are too profane to be quoted, such as the following,

Comic Bible Sketches, reprinted from "The Freethinker," edited by G. W. Foote. London: Progressive Publishing Company, 28, Stonecutter Street, 1885.

Jonah's Excursion to Nineveh. By G. W. Foote, with illustrations by Paul Bellevue. London: Progressive Publishing Company, 28, Stonecutter Street. 1885. Price Twopence.

La Bible Amusante pour les Grands et les Petits Enfants. Texte par Léo Taxil, Dessins par Frid'rick. Paris. Librairie Anti-Cléricale, Rue des Ecoles. This was published in weekly parts, at 50 centimes each. The illustrations were very humorous, but exceedingly profane.

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Jocularity in the pulpit has been often reproved as un seemly, yet it is still largely indulged in by a certain class of ministers. Punch in the Pulpit, by Philip Cater (London: W. Freeman, 1863), gives some amusing examples of this curious kind of devotion.

On p. 108 a burlesque sermon founded on the Nursery Rhyme of Old Mother Hubbard was given, a similar production is sold by a printer named Tresize, in Beech Street, Barbican. It is styled A Yunkee Sermon, and is founded on the text "For they shall knaw a file, and flee unto the mountains of Hepsidam, whar the lion roareth, and the wang-foodle mourneth for his first born."

During his trials, Mr. Hone made several references to the following song, as showing that reverend and serious writers could jest about religious topics, without any intention to be profane. It was taken from the Reverend Mark Noble's continuation of the Rev. Mr. Granger's Biographical History of England, and showed that it was never apprehended by the most pious men, that a casual association of ludicrous images with matters of the Christian religion tended to weaken the respect due to that faith. Mr. Noble, in his work, quoted this song respecting Dr. Burnett, the author of The Theory of the Earth, and Master of the Charter-House:

A DEAN and prebendary

Had once a new vagary;
And were at doleful strife, sir,
Who led the better life, sir,

And was the better man,

And was the better man.

The dean he said, that truly,
Since Bluff was so unruly,
He'd prove it to his face, sir,
That he had the most grace, sir;
And so the fight began,
And so the fight began.
When Preb. replied like thunder,
And roars out, 'twas no wonder,
Since gods the dean had three, sir,
And more by two than he, sir,
For he had got but one,

For he had got but one.

Now while these two were raging,
And in dispute engaging,
The Master of the CHARTER,
Said both had caught a tartar ;

For gods, sir, there were none,
For gods, sir, there were none.
That all the books of Moses
Were nothing but supposes;

That he deserv'd rebuke, sir,
Who wrote the Pentateuch, sir;
'Twas nothing but a sham,
'Twas nothing but a sham.
That as for father Adam,
With Mrs. Eve, his madam,
And what the serpent spoke, sir,
'Twas nothing but a joke, sir,

And well-invented flam,
And well-invented flam.
Thus, in this battle royal,

As none would take denial,
The dame for whom they strove, sir,
Could neither of them love, sir,

Since all had given offence,
Since all had given offence.
She therefore, slily waiting,
Left all three fools a-prating;
And being in a fright, sir,
Religion took her flight, sir,

And ne'er was heard of since,
And ne'er was heard of since.

THE Salvation Army was sure not to exist long without an imitator, and we are, therefore, not surprised to hear of a Salvation Navy, under the direction of a person calling himself Admiral Tug. Admiral Tug has learnt the trick from General Booth of treating the most sacred things with blasphemous familiarity, and he has summoned his supporters with the following imitation of the Arethusa sea-song:

"ON BOARD OF THE 'ALLELUJAH !"
COME all you sinners, young and old,
With 'earts once cast in 'Eaven's mould,
And join our Ker-istian Navy bold-
On board of the 'Allelujah!

We're bound to floor the forts of Sin,
And the Devil himself will soon cave in,
Then join the side that is sure to win-
On board of the 'Allelujah!

Punch, August 26, 1882.

A STRANGE PARAPHRASE.

THE following lines were found written in the clerk's book, at a church in Birmingham, some sixty years ago. The said clerk every Sunday afternoon gave out the same hymn :

COME let us join our cheerful songs,
As we have often done;

Though we've variety of choice,

Our song is always one.

Worthy the clerk, the people cry,

Who our devotion leads;
Worthy the people, he'll reply,
Who thus approve my deeds.

Let those who in the gallery sit,
And placed above the rest,
Join with their brethren in the pit,
And vie in singing best.
The congregation join in one,

To think the clerk to blame, That every Sunday afternoon, We're bound to sing the same.

THE BRITISH LION'S PREY.

In the hymn sung at the christening of Baby Battenberg was the following stanza :

NEVER from thy pastures roving,

Let him be the lion's prey;
Let Thy tenderness so loving,

Keep him all life's dangerous way.

On returning from the chapel her Majesty, with the Royal Family, received the ladies and gentlemen in the Green Drawing Room, where refreshments were served, and her Majesty gave the health ot Prince Leopold of Battenberg.-Court Circular.

WELL, yes; we hope young Leopold
May still keep well and skittish;
But is that beast of prey tabooed,
The lion that's called British?

'Tis nice for Baby Battenberg

To learn these songs of Zion;
Still, what would Papa B. have done
Without the British Lion?

The eagle is a noble bird

That spreads its wings out yonder ;
But doesn't find it "dangerous,"
In lions' dens to wander.

So, drinking Queen Victoria's Toast,
We've still our chance between a
Good golden-plated Scottish Fife
And a German concertina !

August, 1889.

GOD SAVE THE QUEEN. GOD bless our gracious Queen! Since we have got a Queen ; God save our Queen! Her form we seldom see, But, loyal subjects, we Take things so easily,

And bless our Queen.

Oft at her southern seat,
Or else her Scotch retreat,

She hides away;

She never comes to town;
She lives on past renown;
Minds, never wears, the crown,

But draws her pay.

Soon may we hope to see
Her Gracious Majesty,

No absent Queen ;

Then shall we have good cause
To open wide our jaws,
And sing with hearty voice,
God save our Queen!

W. H. EDMUNDS.

The Weekly Dispatch. July 10, 1881.

The following has been suggested as an additional stanza

to the National Anthem :

Grandchildren not a few,

With great-grandchildren, too,
She blest has been.

We've been their sureties,
Paid them gratuities,
Pensions, annuities.

God save the Queen!

Or purely Political parodies the number is so great, that any attempt at printing a complete collection is out of the question. At the most, mention can only be made, and brief extracts given from a few of the best examples. The King's (or Queen's) speeches to Parliament, on the opening and closing days, have been the subject of parodies for very many years.

and

One of the earliest, and certainly the most famous of these was an anonymous pamphlet published in 1778, entitled "Anticipation: Containing the substance of His Majesty's Most Gracious Speech to both Houses of Parliament on the Opening of the approaching Session, together with a full authentic account of the Debate which will take place in the House of Commons, on the motion for the Address, and the Amendment, with Notes." (First published three Days before the Opening of the Session.) London: T. Beckett, 1778.

The address and the Debate occupy 74 pages octavo, and were no doubt highly entertaining at the time, as the characteristics and oddities of the various speakers who were satirised were then familiar, but have long since been forgotten.

The principal topic in the debate was the unfavourable issue of the War with the United States of America.

This clever pamphlet (which ran through several editions) was written by Richard

Tickell, who died in 1793.

Coming to more modern times Figaro in London, a satirical paper which flourished in thirties," had numerous parodies of

the