side clearly. I was sorry for the pain I gave you, but it was to save you from a greater suffering, that I determined, by resolute conduct, to rescue our dear children from the inevitable consequences of your injudicious fondness. I always looked forward, too, to the time when you would agree perfectly with me on this subject; being confident that your good sense would finally prevail over your excessive fondness, so as to dictate proper methods of management. If you had been one of those silly women, who never give up an idea because it is their own, I might have despaired of you; but you never were self-willed. Your mistake was a natural one for a young mother, and I felt assured it would soon be set right." "Yes, my dear," said the happy wife, and I owe you infinite obligations for overruling me in this matter. I have a sister who fell into precisely the same error of management; unfortunately, her husband left her to direct, and their children one half died in infancy, while the other half can scarcely be said to live in manhood, their constitutions are so slight."

I could not help mentioning to Mrs. Arundel, as she said this, the debate I had heard between the husband and wife mentioned in my last letter. "Yes," said she, "I know the lady well. She is destroying her own peace, and that of her husband, by her unreasonable sensibility. When once a woman falls into the habit of exacting petty observances from her husband, she becomes as much his tyrant, as if she ruled in all things. It has been said, that single drops of water falling in regular succession on the head, occasion unindurable torment. So will these petty acts of tyranny, if regularly practised, destroy the peace of any man. The constant puling and wailing of discontent, always stating some trifling cause of complaint, is a misery in itself. For a man to live always under a cloudy countenance, is as bad as

to be subjected to the vapour and smoke of London itself. Women do certainly possess the power of tormenting their partners, by such absurd conduct, but at the same time, they trifle away their own happiness. Married people must either be happy or miserable together. When one of your limbs is in violent pain, the rest of the body suffers by sympathy. So it is in the mystic union of marriage. If one party is unhappy, the suffering is cast upon the other also, in a greater or less degree, in proportion to the degree of affection entertained by the parties for one another. There should be perfect confidence between a married couple, and yet each should be so practised in self-command, as to be able to endure pain or sorrow, without communicating it to the other. There should be a mutual willingness to endure each other's burdens, and yet a mutual desire to suffer alone, rather than impart suffering to the dearest part of oneself. One decisive proof of the impropriety of a woman's governing her husband, may be derived from the well known fact, that really fine women never undertake the unbecoming task. Those who excel in this invidious art, are generally cunning, self-willed characters, without delicacy or refinement. If a woman really loves her husband, it will give her far more pleasure to obey him, than to govern him. Warm affection finds pleasure in submission, and delicacy shrinks from sway. Even where the female understanding is the strongest, a woman of refinement is the last to admit the fact, or to avail herself of it, by taking the power into her own hands. It is always painful to be forced to acknowledge the inferiority of that intellect, to which one has looked for support in the arduous duties of life."

If I had before doubted these truths, my dear Mary, the manner in which I heard them urged, and saw them

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exemplified on this occasion, would have proved their correctness. In this family there was obviously one pervading will, so unanimous were all the desires and operations of its united head. There was a freedom and cheerfulness among the children, which proved that the gloss had not been taken from nature's own lightheartedness, by the damps and chills of discordant rulers. They were so certain that their parents agreed on all subjects, except on those in which they had agreed to disagree, that they never felt afraid of pleasing one at the expense of the other. To my surprise I found, after I left them, that one of these preconcerted differences, was on the tender subject of religion. Helen was a Presbyterian, her husband an Episcopalian; and they enjoyed themselves as Christians together, as if they had belonged to the same sect.. How often have I known this very difference, made an excuse for altercation and ill will. But where the spirit of discord prevails, it will subsist on aliment scarce visible to common observers; and where it does not exist, the most important discrepancies will fail to produce it.

I left Mr. and Mrs. Arundel, with the delightful conviction that I knew, not only one happy couple, but that I knew how more happy couples could be made; namely, by practising self-denial and forbearance mutually, by cultivating disinterested affection, and resigning the dear delight of giving pain, said by satirists to be so valuable to woman. My dear Mary, the sex deserve many of the severest sarcasms thrown out against them. They do not sufficiently cultivate those virtues which their relative duties require them to practise. Until they Jay aside the desire of governing their husbands, and learn to govern themselves, they cannot be happy in married life. The same energies, wasted on a mistaken

aim, will suffice to produce the blessed end of peace and happiness. O, may you profit by these hints from

Your true friend.

LETTER XII.

MY DEAR MARY,

It would be counted a serious omission, were I to leave out of these rules for feminine propriety, some particular strictures on the important subject of dress. A taste for ornamenting the person, is perhaps desirable in women, who certainly owe much of their influence in society to external appearance. But of all the follies that ever perverted the principles, and debased the understanding of the sex, an appetite for finery is the most wide spreading in its evil effects. When once the mind becomes engrossed by this frivolous subject, it is inevitably frittered away into shreds and patches, as contemptible as the materials of a milliner's shop.

Neatness is indispensable to the respectability of women. A slut can never be respected, and a lady cannot suffer herself to be caught in a somewhat exceptionable dishabille, without derogating in some degree from the dignity of her character. A wife should studiously consult the taste of her husband, and follow it implicitly, no matter how much it differs from her own. She owes him this piece of complaisance, and farther, she owes him the respectful observance of always appearing, under every possible circumstance, neat and tidy in his presence. Any deviation from this rule, will

infallibly be attended with the diminution of his regard. Conjugal love is too delicate in its texture, not to undergo a thousand violences from the neglect of simple and obvious means of preservation. But while this attention to decency and neatness is absolutely essential; the extreme so common to the sex, of extravagant apparel, is repulsive to common sense and common propriety. Personal vanity has done so much gross injury to women, that it is wonderful it should still be sedulously cultivated by those, whose experience might have taught them better things. Mothers are actually ashamed to send their daughters into mixed companies, unless they are dressed as expensively as others of larger fortune; instead of glorying in the good sense and consistency that would prompt a diametrically opposite conduct. It is really to be lamented that a register cannot be kept of the number of bankruptcies yearly accruing from this single source of folly; such an open warning might be of service: as it is, we may profit by observations such as these, upon the progress of this folly.

When we see a family of ladies (mother and daughters) going to every party in the season; changing their apparel with every fashion; vying with the richest, and pressing towards the goal of invidious distinction,-we must not wonder if we see the heads of the family looking gloomy and embarrassed, as if a continent of care was laid on their shoulders; then, after plunging deeper and deeper, exhausting every device to keep aloft a little longer, sinking at last, perhaps with ignominy, to the grade of the lowest, and hearing, perhaps, such rumours as these circulated about them—“Ah, poor things, I was sure of it; they dressed so fine, and saw so much company: they have lived above themselves long ago." Then follow these people into seclusion. Oh, what a retirement!-No consciousness of having