Miss. CATLET.
Agreed.

Mrs. BULKLEY.
And she, who's party's largest, shall proceed.
And first I hope, you'll readily agree
I've all the critics and the wits for me.
They, I am sure, will answer my commands :
Ye candid judging few, hold up your hands;
What, no return? I find too late, I fear,
That modern judges seldom enter here.

Miss CATLEY.
I'm for a different set.-Old men, whose trade is
Still to gallant and dangle with the ladies.

RECITATIVE.
Who mump their passion, and who, grimly smiling;
Still thus address the fair with voice beguiling.

AIR.COTILLON. Turn, my fairest, turn, if ever Strephon caught thy ravish'd eye,

Pity take on your swain so clever,
Who without your aid must die.

Yes, I shall die, hu, hu, hu, hų,
Yes, I must die, ho, ho, ho, ho.

Da Capo.

Mrs. BULKLEY. Let all the old pay homage to your

merit : Give me the

young,

the

gay, the men of spirit, Ye travelled tribe, ye macaroni train Of French friseurs, and nosegays, justly vain, Who take a trip to Paris once a year To dress, and look like awkward Frenchmen here: Lend me your hands.-O fatal news to tell, Their hands are only lent to the Heinelle.

Miss CATLEY. Ay, take your travellers, travellers indeed ? Give me my bonny Scot, that travels from the Tweed

Where are the Cheels? Ah! Ah, I will discern.
The smiling looks of each bewitching bairne.

A bonny young lad is my Jockey.
.

AIR.
I'll sing to amuse you by night and by day,
And be unco merry when you are but gay ;
When you with your bagpipes are ready to play,
My voice shall be ready to carol away

With Sandy, and Sawney, and Jockey,
With Sawney, and Jarvie, and Jockey.

Mrs. BULKLEY.
Ye Gamesters, who so eager in pursuit,
Make but of all your fortune one va Toute :
Ye Jockey tribe whose stock of words are few,
" I hold the odds. Done, done, with you,

with

you. Ye Barristers, so fluent with grimace, « My Lord--your Lordship misconceives the case.” Doctors, who cough and answer every misfortuner, « I wish I'd been call'd in a little sooner," Assist my cause with hands and voices hearty, Come end the contest here, and aid my party.

AIR.--BALEINAMONY.

Miss CATLEY.
Ye brave Irish lads, hark away to the crack,
Assist me, I pray, in this woful attack;
For sure I don't wrong you, you seldom are slack,
When the ladies are calling, to blush, and hang back:

For you're always polite and attentive,
Still to amuse us inventive,
And death is your only preventive.
Your hands and your voices for me.

Mrs. BULKLEY.
Well, Madam, what if, after all this sparring,
We both agree, like friends, to end our jarring?

Miss CATLEY.
And that our friendship may remain - unbroken,
What if we leave the Epilogue unspoken?

Mrs. BULKLEY.
Agreed.

Miss CATLEY.
Agreed.

Mrs. BULKLEY.
And now with late repentance,
Un-epilogued the Poet waits his sentence.
Condemn the stubborn fool who can't submit
Te thrive by flattery, though he starves by wit.

[Excunt.

AN EPILOGUE,

INTENDED FOR MRS. BULKLEY:

THERE

HERE is a place, so Ariosto sings, A treasury for lost and missing things : Lost human wits have places there assign'd them, And they, who lose their senses, there may find them. But where's this place, this storehouse of the age ? The Moon, says he :--but I affirm the Stage : At least in many things, I think, I see His lunar, and our mimic world agree. Both shine at night, for but at Foote's alone, We scarce exhibit till the sun goes down. Both prone to change, no settled limits fix, And sure the folks of both are lunatics, But in this parallel my best pretence is, That mortals visit both to find their senses. To this strange spot, Rakes, Macaronies, Cits, Come thronging to collect their scatter'd wits.

The gay coquette, who ogles all the day,
Comes here at night, and goes a prude away.,
Hither the affected city dame advancing,
Who sighs for Operas, and doats on dancing,
Taught by our art her ridicule to pause on,
Quits the Ballet and calls for Nancy Dawson.
The Gamester too, whose wits all high or low,
Oft risks his fortune on one desperate throw,
Comes here to saunter, having made his bets,
Finds his lost senses out, and pays his debts.
The Mohawk toom with angry phrases stor’d,
As. Dam'me, Sir,” and “ Sir, I wear a sword;".
Here lesson'd for a while, and hence retreating,
Goes out, affronts his man, and takes a beating.
Here comes the sons of scandal and of news,
But find no sense--for they had none to lose.
Of all the tribe here wanting an adviser,
Our Author's the least likely to grow wiser;
Has he not seen how you your favour place,
On sentimental Queens and Lords in lace?
Without a star, a coronet, or garter,
How can the piece expect or hope for quarter?
No high-life scenes, no sentiment: the creature
Still stoops among the low to copy nature.
Yes, he's far gone :-and yet some pity fix
The English laws forbid to punish lunatics *

* This Epilogue was given in MS. by Dr. Goldsmith to Dr. Percy, (now Bishop of Dromore :) but for what comedy it was intended is not remembered

THE

HAUNCH OF VENISON,

А

POETICAL EPISTLE,

TO

LORD CLARE.

FIRST PRINTED, IN M,DCC,LXV.

Thanks,

my lord, for your venison, for finer or fatter Never rang'd in a forest, or smok'd in a platter; The haunch was a picture for painters to study, The fat was so white, and the lean was so ruddy ; Though my stomach was sharp, I could scarce help

regretting, To spoil such a delicate picture by eating ; I had thoughts, in my chambers, to place it in view, To be shown to my friends as a piece of virtu; As in some Irish houses, where things are so so, One gammon of bacon hangs up for a show : But, for eating a rasher of what they take pride in, They'd as soon think of eating the pan it is fry'd in. But hold let me pause don't I hear you pronounce, This tale of the bacon's a danınable bounce ; Well suppose it a bounce-sure a poet may try, By a bounce now and then, to get courage to fly.

But, my lord, it's no bounce : I protest in ny turn, It's a truth-and your Lordship may ask Mr. Burn *.