A Pretty Metaphor.

A young lady marrying a man she loved, and leaving many friends in town, to retire with him into the country, Mrs. D. faid prettily, "She has turned one and twenty fhillings into a guinea."

Royal Favour.

A low Frenchman bragged that the king had fpoken to him. Being asked what his majesty had faid, he replied, "He bad me stand out of his way."

Madam du Barry.

A Great French lady, who was one of the first to vifit Madam du Barry, after he was known to be the royal miftrefs, juftifying herself to her neice on that account, faid, "It is reported that the king gave an hundred thoufand livres to countenance her; but it is not true,"No, madam," replied the niece nobly, "I dare fay it is not true; for it would have been too little."

Proofs of Genealogy.

A lord of the court being prefented for the first time, Louis XIV. faid afterwards, that he did not know the late lord of that name had had a fon, having been reckoned impotent. "Oh Sire!" faid. Roquelaure, "ils ont été tous impuiffans de pere en fils."

Voltaire and Addison.

A ftory is told of Voltaire and Addison at a tavern. I do not believe Voltaire was in England while Addison was alive.

Price of making a Park a Garden.

Queen Caroline fpoke of fhutting up St. James's Park, and converting it into a noble garden for the palace of that name. She asked my father what it might probably coft; who replied, "only three CROWNS."

An Anecdote corrected.

Let me correct a ftory relating to the great duke of Marlborough. The duchefs was preffing the duke to take a medicine, and with her ufual warmth faid, "I'll be hanged if it do not prove ferviceable." Dr. Garth †, who was prefent, exclaimed, "Do take it then, my lord duke; for it must be of fervice, in one way or the other."

Double Pun.

A good pun is not amifs. Let me tell you one I met with in fome book the other day. The Earl of Leicester, that unworthy favourite of Elizabeth, was forming a park about Cornbury, thinking to enclofe it with pofts and rails. As he was one day calculating the expence, a gentle

D

* Erroneously given to Chesterfield.

By mistake put Lord Somers.

gentleman stood by, and told the earl that he did not go the cheapest way to work. "Why?" faid my lord. "Becaufe," replied the gentle. man, "if your Lordship will find posts, the country will find railing."

Paffionate Temper.

General Sutton, brother of Sir Robert Sutton, was very paffionate; Sir Robert Walpole the reverfe. Sutton being one day with Sir Robert, while his valet de chambre was having him, Sir Robert faid, "John, you cut me;-and then went on with the converfation. Presently, he faid again," John, you cut me"-and a third time when Sutton ftarting up in a rage, and doubling his fift at the fervant, swore a great oath, and said, "If Sir Robert can bear it, I cannot; and if you cut him once more I'll knock you down."

Quin.

Quin fometimes faid things at once witty and wife. Difputing concerning the execution of Charles I. "But by what laws," faid his opponent," was he put to death? Quin replied, "By all the laws he had left them."

An innocent Miniftry.

He used to apply a story to the then ministry. A master of a fhip calls out, "Who is there>" A boy answered, "Will, Sir."- -"What are you doing?""Nothing, Sir."-"Is Tom

there?

there?"-"Yes," fays Tom.

"What are you

doing, Tom?"-" Helping Will, Sir."

Lord Rofs.

The reprobate Lord Rofs, being on his deathbed, was defired by his chaplain to call on God. He replied, "I will if I go that way, but I

don't believe I fhall."

Ecclefiaftic Squabble.

A vicar and curate of a village, where there was to be a burial, were at variance. The vicar not coming in time, the curate began the service, and was reading the words, "I am the refurrection," when the vicar arrived, almost out of breath, and fnatching the book out of the curate's hands, with great fcorn, cried, "You the refurrection! I am the refurrection,"and then went on.

Nota. This, though copied from Mr. Walpole's own hand-writing, is fufpected not to be very new. But even old jefts, that such a man thought worthy of writing, or fpeaking, cannot be unworthy of a place in this lounging compilation; and they often gained by paffing through his hands.

Weak Nerves.

A clergyman at Oxford, who was very nervous and absent, going to read prayers at St. Mary's, heard a fhow-man in the High-street, who had an exhibition of wild beafts, repeat often, "Walk in without lofs of time. All alive!

alive, ho!" The founds ftruck the abfent man, and ran in his head fo much, that when he be gan to read the fervice, and came to the words in the first verse," and doeth that which is lawful and right, he shall fave his foul alive," he cried out, with a louder voice, "fhall fave his foul alive! All alive! alive, ho!" to the aftonishment of the congregation.

A Convert,

A Methodist in America, bragging how well he had inftructed fome Indians in religion, called up one of them, and, after fome questions, afked him if he had not found great comfort laft Sunday, after receiving the facrament. "Aye, mafter," replied the favage, but I wifhed it had been brandy."

An ignorant Communicant.

An ignorant foldier at Quebec, obferving fome of his comrades ftay behind him at church, afked them, on their coming out, what was the reafon? They told him jeeringly, that the parfon had treated them with fome wine. "No other liquor?" fays the fellow. Seeing he fwallowed the bait, they anfwered, that he might have what liquor he chofe. Next Sunday he stayed to have his fhare; and when the clergyman offered him the wine, he put up his hand to his head, in token of falutation, and faid modeftly, "Please your reverence, I fhould prefer punch."

French