Imágenes de páginas
PDF
EPUB

FALSTAFF'S VALOR.

PRINCE HENRY FALSTAFF.

P. Henry. Welcome, Jack. Where hast thou been? Falstaff. A plague on all cowards, I say, and a vengeance too! marry, and amen: -- (To an Attendant.) Give me a cup of sack, boy.-Ere I lead this life long, I'll sew netherstocks, and mend them, and foot them too. A plague on all cowards :Give me a cup of sack, rogue. Is there no virtue extant? (Drains the cup.) You rogue, here's lime in this sack, too. There is nothing but roguery to be found in villainous man! Yet a coward is worse than a cup of sack with lime in it; a villainous coward. - Go thy ways, old Jack; die when thou wilt, if manhood, good manhood, be not forgot upon the face of the earth, then am I a shotten herring. There live not three good men unhanged in England; and one of them is fat, and grows old, a bad world, I say! A plague on all cowards, J say still!

[ocr errors]

P. Henry. How now, wool-sack? what mutter you? Fal. A king's son ! If I do not beat thee out of thy kingdom with a dagger of lath, and drive all thy subjects afore thee like a flock of wild geese, I'll never wear hair on my face more. You - Prince of Wales!

P. Henry. Why, what's the matter?

Fal. Are you not a coward? answer me that.

P. Henry. Ye fat paunch, an ye call me coward, I'll sɩab thee.

Fal. I call thee coward? I'll see thee hanged ere I call the c coward but I would give a thousand pound, I could run as fast as thou canst. You are straight enough in the shoulders, you care not who sees your back. Call you that, backing of your friends? A plague upon such backing! give me them that will face me. Give me a cup of sack : -I am a rogue, it I have drunk to-day.

P. Henry. O villain! thy lips are scarce wiped since thou drunk'st last.

Fal. All's one for that. (He drinks.)

cowards, still say I !

P. Henry. What's the matter?

A plague on all

Fal. What's the matter? here be four of us have taken a thousand pound this morning.

P. Henry. Where is it, Jack? where is it?

Fal. Where is it? taken from us, it is a hundred upon poor four of us.

P. Herry. What, a hundred, man?

Fal. I am a rogue, if I were not at half-sword with a dozen of them two hours together. I have escaped by miracle. I am eight times thrust through the doublet; four through the hose; my buckler cut through and through; my sword hacked like a handsaw, ecce signum. (Shows his sword.) I never dealt better since I was a man: all would not do. A plague on all cowards!

P. Henry. What, fought you with them all?

Fal. All? I know not what you call all; but, if I fought not with fifty of them, I am a bunch of radish: if there were not two or three and fifty upon poor old Jack, then am I no twolegged creature.

P. Henry. Pray heaven, you have not murdered some of

them.

Fal. Nay, that's past praying for. I have peppered two of them two I am sure, I have paid; two rogues in buckram suits. I tell thee what, Hal, if I tell thee a lie, spit in my face, call me horse. Thou knowest my old ward. (Taking a position for fighting.) - Here I lay, and thus I bore my point. Four rogues in buckram let drive at me-

-

P. Henry. What, four? thou saidst but two, even now.

Fal. Four, Hal! I told thee four. These four came all a-front, and mainly thrust at me. I made no more ado, but took all their seven points in my target, thus.

P. Henry. Seven! why, there were but four, even now.
Fal. In buckram?

P. Henry. Aye, four in buckram suits.

Fal. Seven, by these hilts, or I am a villain else. Dost thou hear me, Hal?

P. Henry. Ay, and mark thee too, Jack.
Fal. Do so, for it is worth listening to.

ram that I told thee of

P. Henry. So, two more already.

These nine in buck

Fal. Their points being broken, began to give me ground; but I followed me close, came in foot and hand, and with a thought, seven of the eleven I paid.

P. Henry. Oh, monstrous ! eleven buckram men grown out of two!

Fal. But, as ill luck would have it, three misbegotten knaves, n Kendal green, came at my back, and let drive at me;-for t was so dark, Hal, that thou couldst not see thy hand.

P. Henry. These lies are like the father that begets them; gross as a mountaiu, open, palpable. Why, thou knotty-pated fool thou greasy tallew-tub.

Fal. What, art thou mad? art thou mad? is not the truth the truth?

P. Henry. Why, how couldst thou know these men in Kendal green, when it was so dark thou couldst not see thy hand? Come, tell us your reason; what sayest thou to this? Come, your reason, Jack, your reason.

-

Fal. What, upon compulsion? No. Were I at the strappado, or all the racks in the world, I would not tell you on compulsion. Give you a reason upon compulsion! If reasons were as plenty as blackberries, I would give no man a reason upon compulsion.

P. Henry. I'll be no longer guilty of this sin. This sanguine coward, this bed-presser, this horse-back breaker, this huge hill of flesh

--

Fal. Away, you starveling, you eel-skin, you dried neat's tongue, you stock-fish! O for breath to utter what is like thee! you tailor's yard, you sheath, you bow-case, you vile standing tuck,—

P. Henry. Well, breathe awhile and then to it again; and when thou hast tired thyself in base comparisons, hear me speak but this. — Poins and I saw you four set on four; you bound them, and were masters of their wealth: mark now, how plain a tale shall put you down. Then did we two set on you four, and with a word, outfaced you from your prize, and have it, yea can show it you, here in the house. And, Falstaff, you carried your paunch away as nimbly, with as quick dexterity, and roared for mercy, and still ran and roared, as ever I heard a bull-calf. What a slave art thou, to hack thy sword as thou hast done, and then say it was in fight! What trick, what device, what starting hole canst thou now find out, to hide thee from this open and apparent shame ?

Fal. Ha ha! ha!-- D' ye think I did not know you, Hal? Why, hear ye, my master, was it for me to kill the heir apparent? should I turn upon the true prince? why, thou knowest I am as valiant as Hercules. But beware instinct; the lion will not touch the true prince; instinct is a great matter. I was a coward on instinct, I grant you; and I shall think the better of myself and thee during my life; I for a valiant lion, and thou for a true prince. But I am glad you have the money. Let us clap to the doors; watch to-night, pray to-morrow. shall we be merry? shall we have a play extempore? P. Henry. Content!- and the argument shall be, thy running away.

Fal. Ah! no more of that, Hal, if thou lovest me.

What!

SHAKSPEARE,

THE MISER.

LOVEGOLD -JAMES.

Love. Where have you been? I have wanted you

hour.

above an

James. Whom do you want, sir, - your coachman or your cook? for I am both one and t' other.

Love. I want my cook.

James. I thought, indeed, it was not your coachman; for you have had no great occasion for him since your last pair of horses were starved; but your cook, sir, shall wait upon you in an instant. (Puts off his coachman's great-coat and appears as a cook.) Now, sir, I am ready for your commands.

Love. I am engaged this evening to give a supper.

James. A supper, sir! I have not heard the word this half year; a dinner, indeed, now and then; but for a supper I'm almost afraid, for want of practice, my hand is out.

Love. Leave off your saucy jesting, and see that you provide a good supper.

James. That may be done with a good deal of money, sir. Love. Is the mischief in you? Always money! Can you say nothing else but money, money, money? My children, my servants, my relations, can pronounce nothing but money.

James. Well, sir; but how many will there be at table?

Love. About eight or ten; but I will have a supper dressed but for eight; for if there be enough for eight, there is enough

for ten.

James. Suppose, sir, at one end, a handsome soup; at the other, a fine Westphalia ham and chickens; on one side, a fillet of veal; on the other, a turkey, or rather a bustard, which may be had for about a guinea

Love. Zounds! is the fellow providing an entertainment for my lord mayor and the court of aldermen ?

James. Then a ragout

Love. I'll have no ragout. Would you burst the good people you dog?

James. Then pray, sir, say what will you have?

Love. Why, see and provide something to cloy their stomachs: let there be two good dishes of soup-maigre; a large suet-pudding; some dainty, fat pork-pie, very fat; a fine, small lean breast of mutton, and a large dish with two artichokes There; that's plenty and variety.

James. O, dear-

Love. Plenty and variety.

James. But, sir, you must have some poultry.

Love. No; I'll have none.

James. Indeed, sir, you should.

Love. Well, then, -kill the old hen, for she has done laying. James. Mercy! sir, how the folks will talk of it; indeed, people say enough of you already.

Love. Eh! why, what do the people say, pray?

James. Oh, sir, if I could be assured you would not be angry. Love. Not at all; for I 'm always glad to hear what the world says of me.

James. Why, sir, since you will have it, then, they make a jest of you everywhere; nay, of your servants, on your account. One says, you pick a quarrel with them quarterly, in order to find an excuse to pay them no wages.

Love. Poh! poh!

James. Another says, you were taken one night stealing your own oats from your own horses.

Love. That must be a lie; for I never allow them any.

James. In a word, you are the by-word everywhere; and you are never mentioned, but by the names of covetous, stingy, scraping, old

Love. Get along, you impudent villain !

James. Nay, sir, you said you would n't be angry.
Love. Get out, you dog! you-

FIELDING.

THE TWO ROBBERS.

[Alexander the Great, in his tent. A man with a fierce countenance, chained and fettered, brought before him.]

Alex. What! art thou the Thracian robber, of whose exploits I have heard so much?

Rob. I am a Thracian, and a soldier.

Alex. A soldier!—a thief, a plunderer, an assassin! the pest of the country! I could honor thy courage; but I mus detest and punish thy crimes.

Rob. What have I done of which you can complain?

Alex. Hast thou not set at defiance my authority; violated the public peace, and passed thy life in injuring the persons and properties of thy fellow-subjects?

Rob. Alexander, I am your captive-I must hear what you please to say, and endure what vou please to inflict.

But my

« AnteriorContinuar »