I

On the 7th of June the facrament was celebrated *. had had much weary work from the family of J A. he having repeated his abominations, and another of that family having fallen into fornication. Mrs A. spouse to the faid J. had much ado to bear my proceedings in these odious cafes; but her husband being a peaceable man, things were kept in tolerable cafe betwixt them and me. But he dying in February this year, fhe of a long time after came not to the church. Having come at length, fome time before the facrament; the on the fast-day,, I think, defired of me a token to partake. Now a woman had gone out of the family, and abfconded, being famed to be with child; and another had depofed, that she told to Mrs A. that the thought the party forefaid was with child, the deponent and the being fellow-fervants, and lying in one bed together. This relating to the time before the abfconding; I did, upon the occafion of demanding the token aforefaid, lay this matter before her: whereupon fhe, taking it hainoufly, came not to the facrament, and all along to this day hath turned her back on the public ordinances in the church. I have dealt with her again and again; her children also have dealt with her, to return but all in vain. She remains wilful, and goes no where on the Lord's day; but fome few times has appeared at Mr Macmillan's meetings, which now are very rare in the country. To this fhe has added, not to come into our house for fo many years, to vifit my wife in her long diftrefs. This is a piece of malignity which one must lay his account with, in following duty.

At this facrament having only my two helpers, and my wife's cafe being at a great extremity, I have it to notice to the praife of free grace, that the Lord however made it a very comfortable work, and orderly: yea a fpecial care of the divine Providence was about it. Mr Wilfon the week before had a fit of the ague, and not coming up on Friday's night, I had laid my account to preach on the Saturday: and when he came up on the Saturday, I had given orders about fending for Mr G. providentially at Cavers; but no more was done in that. i was helped to truft the Lord for carrying on his own work, and had not much uneafinefs that way: hereto contributed my re

The action-fermon was on 1 John iv. 14. and was published in a volume in 1753.

membering

membering that I myself fell indifpofed on Wednesday, but was mercifully recovered, fo as, on the morrow, I went about the whole faft-day's work alone, comfortably. Mr Davidson that week was threatened with a fit of the gravel, but mercy ftopt it. He was taken ill of a headach, about the latter end of the Sabbath work forenoon here it left him when he went out to preach the afternoon-fermon. In a word, nothing was lacking, neither ftrength of body, nor what was neceffary for edifying the body of Chrift. My wife being all the time in great diftrefs fixed to her bed, and a great throng in the house; yet things were managed with difcretion and order. However, her cafe was evidently worfted by the weight of people's coming in to vifit her. But to him I give thanks who has happily carried through this work: for my wife was not without thoughts, that it might be the time of her departure and on Tuesday, ere the minifters went away, the feemed indeed to be at the point of death; fo that not only they, but a neighbour, were called to be witneffes to the iffue. The frame of my fpirit, on the Saturday and Sabbath morning, I found to be flat: but now for fome time that my bodily ftrength is fenfibly decayed, I have in fome measure learned to truft in the Lord more, though my pains in fecret duties are lefs than fometimes they have been, when my strength would bear more. And my truft was not in vain. At the table, even about the time of diftributing the bread, my falfe heart was unfeafonably carried off to a thought, which was ftunning and ftumbling but preffed with the fenfe of need, I was thereby ftirred up to the exercise of faith on Christ, for the fanctification of my unholy nature. But O that hereby I might learn to watch!

This fummer 1724 has been the most trying time that ever my family had fince we were a family. I had made fome alterations in the houfe before the facrament, turning the barn into a kitchen, the hall into a cellar, and fo making two low bed-rooms, which we had not before. The defign we had in view, was chiefly my wife's cafe in her heavinefs, requiring the little room; and then to have more room for ftrangers at the facrament; for which cause a new bed was made, and fet up in the low room. But Providence had a defign in it unknown to us, namely, that it might be a convenient fick-bed room; and for that use it was for more than two months.

On

On Lord's day, June 14. I clofed my fubject of the Covenant of Grace: my notes thereon being written fo largely, that, in tranfcribing them fince for the prefs, I needed rather, for the most part, to contract, than to add and enlarge.

On the following Sabbath, the 21ft, having come in from the fermons, and fat down to dinner, I fell indifpofed; endured the time of dinner; but while we were finging as ufual, (I think the pfalm was Pfal. cvii. 23. and downwards), after it my trouble came to a height, and I went off, with much ado, to my clofet, where a prodigious vomiting and exquifite pain feized me, which afterwards I knew to be a fit of the gravel, which I had never been acquainted with before. It kept me till the Wednefday thereafter; though not always agonizing. It was told me, that one fit of the agony lafted about five hours, another about feven hours. In the mean time of my trouble, my wife, whom all had enough ado to wait on before, was helped to go up and down ftairs, betwixt me and the children, then fick, and to be helpful to both. When all were recovered, I was thinking on a day for a family-thanksgiving; but was fome way diverted from it: but that day, or the morrow after, the clouds returned after the rain my fon John fell fick, and at the same time our fervant-woman. His cafe was of all the most dangerous. The fever took no turn in the daughters till the eleventh day, in the fons till the thirteenth; but in the fervant-woman on the fixth. Thus was the fummer fpent; but no breach was made on us. They all came out of their fevers infenfibly, without a diftinct crifis; but my eldest fon was very long a-recovering, even till about the middle of Auguft. Towards the end of that month, we had a day of family-thankfgiving; the whole family, except the man-fervant, having been under the rod.

I was fenfibly helped to the exercife of faith in the time of our firft diftrefs; and had a fweet view of the Lord Jefus as adminiftrator of the covenant, being a fkilful pilot to carry us through the deep waters; which view was kept before me all along, after we were entered into them. My perfonal trouble was turned to my advantage. It was fore indeed; but kind Providence made it fhort, and timed it so happily, that my public work was not interrupted by it. 1 faw therein a palpable difference between groaning and grudging. For while in my agony I could not help

groaning

groaning and crying, fo that I was heard at a distance; yet my heart, fenfible that I had had much health, was made by grace to fay, Welcome, welcome; and kiffed the rod, for the fake of him who groaned and died on the crofs for me; and I was even made to weep for joy in his dying love to me. The foundation of faith, that "whofoever believeth, fhall not perish, but have everlasting "life," John iii. 16. was my anchor-ground. I had a fatisfaction, in that while the rod was going about, my kind God had not forgotten me, but given me my fhare. But I had a greater difliculty to believe, upon the turning back of our broken fhip into the deeps, after we were brought within fight of land. But one day, as I was going into the pulpit, in the time of our firft diftrefs, the congregation was finging Pfal. cxxviii. verf. 3. to the end, "Thy "children like to olive-plants about thy table round," &c. That came feasonably to me, and was of great ufe to me all along thereafter. At length I got my wife and children fo planted about my table; and on the familythanksgiving, I told them how ufeful that pfalm had been to me in the day of our diftrefs; and fo I fung it with them. And there is fomething more in that pfalm, that I have fome expectation of ftill.

Mean while this fhock by the gravel quite broke and fhattered my frame, and altered my conftitution; fo that thereafter I was no more as I had been formerly.

PERIOD XII.

From the notable breach in my health, to the time of the clo fing of this account.

Τ This His notable alteration was the more remarkable, that it came on when I was now going in the forty-ninth year of my age, the feventh feptenary: and here I reckon the groaning part of my life, more plainly pointing to my diffolution, to have begun. And whatever groanings I had, in the former part of my life, been witnefs to by day or by night, it hath, in the depth of fovereign wildom, for my greater trial, been, from the preceding April 1724, unto this day, my lot, to be folitary in my closet by night, as well as by day: but good is the will of the Lord; he hath done all things well.

The

The fummer thus fpent as aforefaid, a weary feafon to me, at beft, as an idle time; being engaged in a course of drinking Moffat-well water, at home, for the gravel; I did, on the laft day of Auguft, put pen to paper again, in the beloved work aforefaid on the Hebrew text; not knowing whether I would be able to fit close any more at it or not. But it is but little I have had access to do in it fince; however, I defire to be thankful, that I have got the effay on the accentuation done: how the Lord may difpofe of me after, I know not; but I defire to be refigned.

Now as the winter came on, my teeth began to be loofened, much pain in them going before; and that season I loft three, whereof two were fore-teeth; which marred my pronunciation in fome meafure. Nevertheless I was helped clofely to ply the work aforefaid: and my plan. therein was carried to its height, with exceeding great labour: and when at any time I happened to go to bed, with fome difficulty entered into, but not got through; the intensenefs of the mind upon it bereaved me of fome fleep, which I think did harm.

In the time of our diftrefs in the fummer, watchful and kind Providence favoured me with a vifit from Mr J. G-, a minifter of the church of Scotland, whom I had but little acquaintance of before: A man well seen in the doctrine of free grace, and to a pitch kind, and difpofed to be useful, whereof I have fince had fignal proof. At that time I thewed him, that I could get no body to judge of the effay made on the Hebrew accentuation, the performance being upon fuch an out-of-the-way fubject; and that I had fome view to Profeffor Simfon for that end. And he having minded this, and taken occafion in his own country to inform himself, did afterwards write me a letter, giving me notice of Mr George Gordon, profeffor of the Oriental languages in the King's College, Aberdeen, as the fitteft in our island to judge in such matters. Mr Wodrow was his informer, being a man of the moft extenfive correspondence. I had no acquaintance with Mr Gordon, nor did I know his character, but by my correfpondent's letter. I knew not till afterwards that 1 had it from himfelf, that he was that Gordon whom Mr Crofs mentions in his preface to the Taghmical Art. But without more ado, I quickly addreffed myself to him,