terview of the author with several shortnosed men, or crogorhampthanditches; they deplore their miserable case; he advises them to wear artificial noses, which some call symbolitches, which can be had cheap at any toy-shop. A curious disease, incident to the race of long noses: symptom, an itching in the tip of the nose-which leads them to thrust it into every crack and cranny; if you hold anything dark or hollow before them, they readily thrust in their noses. Practical jokes played off on the strength of this disposition.

Chapter fourth :

Account of the Long Noses continued. Consequences of the above-mentioned disease. Leads them to be thrusting their noses between the leaves of old books, into jugs and bung-holes, heaps of foul clothing, cast shoes, sleeves, pockets, key-holes, rat-holes, chimneys, courts of law, churches, theatres; and generally, into other people's affairs. A society of artisans continually employed in making and setting of nose-traps. Divided into three guilds or orders, the Votarophagi, the Clientophagi, and the Agrotophagi. Beside these a multitude of unlawful or irregular nose-trap-makers continually at work, notwithstanding the efforts of the regular guilds to suppress them: number of irregulars begins of late to exceed that of the lawful, or regulars.

as drunkards do a thirst for liquor,) and having provided ourselves with notebooks and a guide, we set out on a perambulation of the great city of Luckyloosa, the metropolis of Allagrabia, in the country of Long Noses, in the island of Airballoons.

"At the corners of the streets, on the roofs of the houses, in gardens, and in public squares, multitudes of balloons and bubbles might be seen rising every instant; for the whole amusement of this people consists in making and setting them afloat. I saw a citizen take a bag that had a cat fastened to it; he did but put his nose in at the throat of the bag, and breath into it, when it rose quickly up, with the animal depending. Others were sent up with men attached to them, by a noose about their necks; and I was informed, that this people use no other whom I saw busy about these hanging, method of executing their felons; those balloons, wore the badges of the order of Clientophagi. Observing that most of broken off, I inquired the cause, and that guild had the tips of their noses was assured by some respectable-looking persons, that it very often happened, that in setting traps for the noses of other men, they lost their own.

"The breaths of this nation are of a sin

gular quality, being a kind of light gas generated in the stomach; and which passes by secret ducts into the lungs. The undisguised smell of the gas is intolerably strong; and to sweeten it, they

this chapter.

"This people are above all curious in their menageries; and the number of these exceeds that of all that I have ever seen elsewhere. My entertainer, who discovered a great care of me, and a very particular desire to serve me, hearing me express some curiosity in regard to these menageries, proposed that on a certain festival occasion, we should go the rounds of the city, and visit them in detail. Accordingly on the morning of the day appointed, having eaten a breakfast of salt-fish, which my host prepared from its effect to stimulate the agreeable itching at the tips of our noses, (for I may here observe, first, that as this disease is given by the touch, I had already contracted it; being indeed of a temperament and diathesis inclined thereto; and second, that those afflicted with it, strive rather to promote than to allay it,

drug, made up in comfits, with comical names, as children in England call lumps of painted sugar by the name of kisses. Everybody you meet pulls out a comfit box, and offers you a pinch; to refuse is reckoned very uncivil. Some of these boxes are of horn or gold, others of paper; and I saw a few composed of a curious sweet scented wood, called in their tongue, skechipichi, which is being translated, pride poke; the berries of this wood are of a binding quality, and have a very bitter taste.

Proceeding a great way by a number of winding streets and dirty lanes, we came to the very heart of Luckyloosa, where is a great menagerie, said to be the largest in the world. We entered free of cost, through a crowd of persons, among whom I saw several who carried small traps in their hands, with which they made various attempts upon the noses about them. The subsistence of

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these nose-trappers is wholly upon the tips, which they carry home, and pickle. These very soon grow again, so that there is never any dearth of this sort of game in a crowd. I saw a demure-looking personage in the habit of a priest, who seemed to be gazing intently into the hole of a curiously constructed trap, so made as to resemble a very old book. Several of the crowd gathered about him, and incautiously applied the tips of their noses to the trap, which they mistook for a book. This was so contrived that it held them by a kind of magnetism. When the sharper saw that a considerable number of noses had collected in this manner upon the trap, he took out a cord of bind-weed, and tying them adroitly in a fascicle, led off the crowd much against their wills, in the string. Some of them, less tender than the rest, preferred their liberty to their noses, and so broke them off with a jerk and escaped." Proceeding on at a good pace, we passed a row of offices, where nose tips are bought up in small parcels and pickled. Entering one of these, I saw a huge brine vat filled with this kind of viands. On the outside of this vat were a multitude of inscriptions, written in the letter of the country. These were difficult to be deciphered, being all over disguised with chirographic flourishes. In one I thought I read the letters, C, R, D and I, but the vowel marks were illegible. In another, S, H and V, set together; with a vowel mark after the V. The whole number of vats in Luckyloosa cannot be less than two thousand: of these two-thirds belong to the irregular nose-trappers; the guild of Votarophagi have the fewest; but one of theirs is the biggest in the world, and is said to have been made a present by Charlemagne to Pope Sylvester; but some say, that Pontiff had it built at his own cost, and that the hero Charlemagne had the tip of his own nose pickled in it; but to these popular traditions I give no cre

dence.

The street of the vats leads directly to the great menagerie of Luckyloosa. The façade looks down the street, and shows a front of the Athenian order, a kind of architecture not mentioned in the common treatises; but Aristotle, Plato, and Machiavel have given good descriptions of it. The whole structure rests on a broad and very unstable platform, composed, altogether, of small stones, some of which are white, and some black.

From this rises a flight of steps, going up on all the four sides to the bases of the colonnades. The columns are twenty-nine in number, composed of various stones: one, in particular, which I noticed, on the northern front, consists of a single shaft of granite, resting on a block of ice, with a capital carved in the shape of female caryatides, with cotton fillets and distaffs in their hands. The column adjoining, upon the left, was of a sienite, with blue veins, very much weather-worn. The southernmost of the eight northern columns was in an unfinished condition: it seemed to have been originally composed of wood, but was then in process of rebuilding of sold iron. The south front consisted of twelve principal columns and a pilaster. These were very irregularly placed-some near and some far-and showed extraordinary differences of size; though all were of an equal height, and very towering. They were composed of white marble, bedded in a black mortar of infirm consistence, which continually mouldered away. The principal shaft of the western colonnade was the bole of a pine tree, thirteen feet through, and at least one hundred in height.

But the signal feature of this fabric was the roof, which seemed to have been composed of the refuse material of the city, kneaded into a kind of cement, with here and there an enormous slab of solid rock, stretching from pillar to pillar, the whole breadth of the building.

When we had sufficiently examined the exterior of the edifice, we entered, through a crowd of visitors of all nations, which thronged the portal, into the dome, or great hall, which is the menagerie. On a sudden, as we were about to go in, there came forth a noise, or, rather, a combination of noises, which I could compare to nothing but the yells and howlings of a thousand devils.

In the confusion of sounds you would have fancied you heard the braying of asses, the mewing of cats, the squeaking of pigs, the grunting of hogs, the neighing of horses, the whinnying of foals, the howling of wolves, the gnarring of bears, the bellowing of bulls, the screeching of owls, the crowing of cocks, the cackling of hens, the crying of leopards, the rasping of tigers, the roaring of lions, the booming of frogs, the piping of quails, beside a thousand outcries, voices, vociferations, screams, screechings, groanings, curses, imprecations, moaning of wind,

rumbling of earthquakes, rattling of thunder, roar of cascades, and murmur of waves, all blent, mingled, and making together a dissonance ineffably horrid; indeed more terrible than death, if the fear of death can be ever felt in a sound. While I stood trembling and sweating with the terror of this prodigy, my guide bid me be of good courage, and fear nothing, for the monster who made all this noise was, at heart, a very harmless monster, and could be easily led about after a sieve with oats in it, as I might see with my own eyes, for the keeper was just going to begin. Not rightly understanding what all this could mean, I followed my conductor through the crowd to a high balcony, set for strangers, overlooking the arena. From this we had a view of all that passed. In the balcony were several foreigners, beside myself, most of them provided with artificial noses, to prevent odium.

The crowd of visitors becoming greater every instant into the arena, filled it on all sides, about a circular space in centre, from which they were prevented by a wooden balustrade.

Presently the noise ceased, to our great relief, and the keeper appeared at a side opening, leading in the monster by its proboscis. Another keeper followed at the tail, with a broad shovel in one hand and a box in the other; for the manure of this animal is worth its weight in gold, being reputed a certain remedy for all diseases. A single grain of it, I was told, applied to the inguen, had been known to cure the worst conceivable fit of melancholy.

And now I am come to a very difficult part of my narrative; for after taking you with me into this place, I am bound to show you what I myself saw there. But to give a true picture of the monster itself would require a much livelier pen than mine. Of all the deformed images you have seen in dreams, I think you may fancy this to be uglier and more a nondescript than any. It had a face like a man, but nearly covered with reddish colored hair. The mouth was very large, extending from ear to ear; the lips livid, and parted over rows of long and dirty teeth. The tongue, which was exceeding thick, lolled out at one side of the mouth. The eyes were small and wrinkled up like a monkey's, with lids perpetually in motion. The body was of no particular shape, and rose but a little way from the ground. It moved upon

a number of pairs of short legs, with asses' hoofs at their extremities. The back was flat like a tortoise, and seemed able to bear a very great burthen. The body of the creature was filthy in the extreme, and gave out a rancid smell. The breath had a taint of stale cider, and I saw several that fainted with the fume of it. When the keeper had made the monster dance and play several tricks, such as leaping backward and forward over a gauging-rod which he held in his hand, he proceeded to ask it several questions, which it answered like any learned pig, by pointing with its snout, to certain large sheets of printed paper, laid before it on the ground. Sometimes he whipped it with his gauging-rod, which made it roar and send out a cloud of bad breath : sometimes he patted and soothed it, offering to break the gauging-rod, which seemed to please the monster mightily; whereupon it purred like a cat, but much louder, and rolled feet uppermost, exposing its belly, which was as prodigious a swag as ever I saw in my life.

As this exhibition happens only once in four years, you may think a very great crowd would come together to see it; 1 reckoned near a hundred thousand souls, men, women, and children, gathered on the platform, and in the temple.

In the evening the monster gave oracles. This was managed in the following manner: All the questions to be answered were reduced to assent or dissent: if the monster bellows like a bull, soon after the question is asked, which the keeper easily forces him to do, by offer. ing to snatch away a sieve of oats while its snout is in it, the oracle is said to have dissented; if it cries like a child, which it will do on the sight of fresh oats, the oracle is said to have assented. Not knowing this trick of the keeper, which I saw with my own eyes, the ignorant people of the city regard these oracles as of a divine infallibility, and have a maxim to signify as much."

Book second of Slawkenbergius' immortal work, treats of the re-discovery of the art of bubble-making, by himself. In the first chapter we are entertained with a history of his laboratory-his apparatus-his experiments; how many times the work fell into the fire; how many times it was defeated by a wrong position of the planets, or the influences of meddlesome demons. How his first successes were in medical bubbles, when he invented a universal pill, a female

Chapter second gives the particulars of a plan for the reduction of population by the timely prevention of births: a thing contrived so ingeniously, the devil himself could not find a fault in it.

Chapter third contains exactly one hundred sections, divided into as many subsections, of ten folio pages eachcontaining all the particulars of the invention of infinitessimal doses; an invention stolen from this Treatise by a stupid German quack, and now, for the first time, given to its right discoverer.

Chapter fourth treats of bathing; and of a delicate method of committing suicide with the cold bath, very good for hypocondriacs of a thin habit of body. Chapter fifth treats of wines, and of the art of poisoning a nation, of whose commerce you are jealous, by the introduction of made wines.

Chapter sixth describes a curions process for making an extract of a Jesuit's brain, the very best material for bubbles. Chapter seventh. This chapter is by far the most important in the work. It begins with a summary of all the evils incident to humanity, and attributes them solely to the unnatural restraints of custom and artificial morality, on the desires of the young. Society, as it now stands, a cunning invention of the priests and lawyers; mean ambition of parents to exert a little brief authority over their children. Liberty the greatest of all blessings: men should be suffered to dash their heads against dead walls, or walk into sinks and cellars, rather than put the least restraint on them. Laws, an insult to the virtue of a nation: if rulers show so little faith in the people, the people should place as little in them. Rulers of no use; wars an invention of theirs to divert attention from themselves. Religion a great impediment to human progress: the worship of God an invention of the Devil. All creeds contain some falsehood; everything false is injurious: all creeds, therefore, are injurious. Great mischiefs arising from the use of money proposal to abolish it; from property in land proposal to abolish it; from property in houses: community of houses; from property in animals: community of chattels; from property in

clothes: community of clothes; community of goods concluded to be best ;-community of wives argued, on the ground that it eludes the necessity of providing for offspring. Vivid picture of the miseries and inconveniences of life; proposal for a universal suicide of the human race.

The eighth chapter treats of Pantheism, or of the creation of heathen religions, by confounding God with the powers of life and nature; valuable results of this invention, viz: wars, pestilences, diseases, divisions of families, &c., &c., all tending to the diminution of the race; and so, indirectly, to lessen the existing sum of miseries.

The ninth chapter is of political bubbles: importance of these; art of breeding discontents; how to educate a demagogue: he should be taught that all institutions are injurious, simply because they are liable to abuse. Demagogues continually experimenting in institutions to find the weak spots in them; philosophical spirit of this procedure; experiment the only reliable source of knowledge. Art of inflaming the poorer people by representing them to themselves as hopelessly poor, and the rich as hopelessly rich. To strengthen the young demagogue he should be exercised with difficult questions, as, for example,

Who are the rich, and who are the poor?

Are not the poor continually growing richer, and the rich poorer?

Is not human nature composed of the same elements that it was a thousand years ago?

What hinders men from liberty, if it be not their own simplicity, viciousness and ignorance?

Would not the abolition of all laws and institutions destroy liberty altogether?

Were they not originally constructed as safeguards against demagogues and discontents?

Whether churches were not instituted to preserve a unanimity of faith, and to save the ignorant from falling a prey to enthusiasts and false prophets?

Whether banks were not instituted for a defence against usury; and whether, if they were abolished, the community would not be overrun with a herd of wicked and imperious money-lenders, against whom may God defend us?

Whether the merchants of Henry Eight's time, in England, who were compelled to borrow at ten per cent. of a

usurer, were not worse off than those of our day, who get the same at legal five per cent., through a bank?

Whether the liberty of choosing one's own friends, commonly called "exclusiveness," "aristocratical pride," and the like, is not common to king and cobbler? When the young demagogue is able to answer all these questions, he is to be reckoned complete in the bubble-making art, and may be let loose upon society. Chapter ninth contains a list for a course of reading in what the humorous Slawkenberg very humorously styles his Emancipating Books: as the list is curious and instructive, I subjoin a part of it:

1. A treatise of marriage; showing the injuriousness of false shame on topics of the sexes. Study of particular physiology recommended for young girls. This work is by Slawkenberg himself, and is illustrated with very entertaining wood-cuts.

2. Arguments against the depravity of human nature, collected out of modern French novels.

3. Memoirs of Miss Fanny H. a young creature who gave a loose to the generous impulses of her nature by Madam George Sanspeur. Slawkenberg was the first to detect the authorship of this book.

ENGLAND has long stood at the head of the naval and commercial powers of the world. To her insular position, she is no doubt, in a great measure, indebted for her naval supremacy; and to her manufacturing industry and skill, she mainly owes her commercial greatness; although her navigation laws, projected by Cromwell, have contributed largely to the security and extension of her commerce. Alfred the Great gave her a body of laws and the trial by jury. He established her courts of justice, founded the university of Oxford, and enforced the necessity of a navy for her protection, and thus became, in the early period of her history, the architect of her strength and prosperity. Four centuries after him, or six centuries since, the Barons wrested from King John the famous Magna Charta of the land.

The wisdom and sagacity of Alfred, and the fundamental changes and improvements he introduced, together with the consciousness of the rights secured by Magna Charta, may be said to have constituted the essential elements of the character of the people, and, under the benign influence and protection of a system of laws, of learning and rational liberty, to have laid the foundation of her present greatness.

With a limited territory, and a redundant population, the means of subsistence are always obtained with difficulty by a large portion of her people; and, the

moment her manufacturing industry languishes, or depression or stagnation overtakes any important branches of her trade, distress and misery among her artisans and operatives are the inevitable

consequences.

Her corn laws have hitherto protected the agricultural interest and the landed aristocracy, but their repeal throws open her ports to the competition of the world. This step seems manifestly to have been one of necessity. Great Britain has always pursued the policy of protection; bounties on exports, and protective duties on imports, have been her invariable course from her early history. Of late years, however, a gradual change has taken place, until, at last, she has either materially reduced, or entirely abolished, the duties on raw materials, essential to her manufacturers, and on provisions and bread-stuffs, required for her operatives.

Her manufactured products stand in need of no further aid; for, if centuries of protection and practical experience, with the vast accumulation of capital and skill, directed and applied to that branch of national industry, have not sufficed to attain protection, it will never be acquired. Hitherto, she has been without any dangerous rivals in manufactures, but competition is now springing up around her. The German Union, in adopting the principle of protection to its own industry, will prove a formidable rival in supplying