enough to every body but myself. Some of the people threw up ftones, hoping to drive the monkey down; but this was ftrictly forbidden, or elfe very probably my brains had been dafhed out.

THE ladders were now applied, and mounted by fe veral men, which the monkey obferving, and finding himself almost encompaffed, not being able to make speed enough with his three legs, let me drop on a ridge of tyle, and made his escape. Here I fat for fome time, five hundred yards from the ground, expecting every moment to be blown down by the wind, or to fall by my own giddiness, and come tumbling over and over from the ridge to the eves : but an honeft lad, one of my nurfe's footmen, climbed up, and putting me into his breeches, pocket brought me down fafe.

I was almost choaked with the filthy ftuff the monkey had crammed down my throat; but my dear little nurse picked it out of my mouth with a fmall needle, and then I fell a vomiting, which gave me great relief. Yet I was fo weak, and bruifed in the fides with the fqueezes given me by this odious animal, that I was forced to keep my bed a fortnight. The King, Queen, and all the court, fent every day to inquire after my health, and her Majefty made me feveral vifits during my ficknefs. The monkey was killed, and an order made that no fuch animal fhould be kept about the palace.

WHEN I attended the King after my recovery to return him thanks for his favours, he was pleased to rally me a good deal upon this adventure. He asked me, what my thoughts and fpeculations were while I lay in the monkey's paw; how I liked the victuals he gave me ; his manner of feeding; and whether the fresh air on the roof had fharpened my ftomach. He defired to know, what I would have done upon fuch an occafion in my own country. I told his Majefty, that in Europe we had no monkies, except fuch as were brought for curiofities from other places, and fo fmall, that I could deal with a dozen of them together, if they prefumed to attack me. And as for that monftrous animal with whom I was fo lately engaged (it was indeed as large as an elephant) if my fears had fuffered me to think fo far as to make use of my hanger (looking fiercely, and clapping my hand upon the hilt, as

I fpoke) when he poked his paw into my chamber, perhaps I thould have given him fuch a wound, as would have made him glad to withdraw it with more hafte than he put it in. This I delivered in a firm tone, like a perfon who was jealous left his courage fhould be called in queftion. However, my fpeech produced nothing else befides a loud laughter, which all the refpect due to his Majefty from those about him could not make them contain. This made me reflect, how vain an attempt it is for a man to endeavour to do himself honour among those, who are out of all degree of equality or comparison with him. And yet I have feen the moral of my own behaviour very frequent in England fince my return, where a little contemptible varlet, without the leaft title to birth, . perfon, wit, or common fenfe, fhall prefume to look with importance, and put himself upon a foot with the greatest perfons of the kingdom.

I was every day furnishing the court with fome ridiculous ftory; and Glumdalclitch, altho' fhe loveď me to excess, yet was arch enough to inform the Queen, whenever I committed any folly that the thought would be diverting to her Majefty. The girl, who had been out of order, was carried by her governess to take the air, about an hour's distance, or thirty miles from town. They alighted out of the coach near a small foot-path in a field, and Glumdalclitch fetting down my travellingbox, I went out of it to walk. There was a cow-dung in the path, and I must need try my activity by attempting to leap over it. I took a run, but unfortunately jumped fhort, and found myself juft in the middle up to my knees. I waded thro' with fome difficulty, and one of the footmen wiped me as clean as he could with his handkerchief; for I was filthily bemired, and my nurse confined me to my box till we returned home; where the Queen was foon informed of what had paffed, and the footmen fpread it about the court; fo that all the mirth for fome days was at my expence.

CHAP

1

CHAP. VI*.

Several contrivances of the author to please the King and Queen. He hes his skill in mufic. The King inquires into the ftate of England, which the author relates to him. The King's obfervations thereon.

I

Used to attend the King's levee once or twice a week, and had often feen him under the barber's hand, which indeed was at first very terrible to behold for the razor was almost twice as long as an ordinary fcythe. His Majefty, according to the custom of the country, was only. fhaved twice a week. I once prevailed on the barber to give me fome of the fuds or lather, out of which I picked forty or fifty of the ftrongeft ftumps of hair. took a piece of fine wood, and cut it like the back of a

K 3

I then

comb;

In this chapter the author gives an account of the political flate of Europe. His obfervations are delivered with his ufual fpirit of humour and feverity. He appears moft particularly affected with the proceedings of the courts of judicature, and complains of being almost ruined by a chancery-fuit, which was determined in his favour with cofts. It must be confessed, that inftances of this kind are too frequent in our courts of justice; and they leave us no room to boast of the execution of our prefent laws, however excellent the laws, in their own original foundation, may have been. Judgment, when turned into wormwood, is bitter; but delays, as Lord Bacon obferves, turn it into vinegar. It becomes fharp and corroding: and certainly it is more eligible to die immediately by the wound of an enemy, than to decay lingering by poifon, adminiftred from a feeming friend. Orrery.

The Noble Commentator is mistaken as to his firft obfervation; for Gulliver has here given a political account of no country but England. It is however a mistake to which any commentator would have been liable, who had read little more than the titles or contents of the chapters, into which this work is divi ded; for the word Europe has in fome Englifh, and all the Irish editions, been printed in the title of this chapter, instead of England. Hawkef.

comb, making feveral holes in it at equal distance with as small a needle as I could get from Glumdalclitch. I fixed in the ftumps fo artificially, fcraping and floping them with my knife towards the points, that I made a very tolerable comb; which was a seasonable supply, my own being fo much broken in the teeth, that it was almoft useless neither did I know any artift in that country fo nice and exact, as would undertake to make me another.

ge.

AND this puts me in mind of an amufement, wherein I fpent many of my leifure hours. I defired the Queen's woman to fave for me the combings of her Majesty's hair, whereof in time I got a good quantity, and confulting with my friend the cabinet-maker, who had received neral orders to do little jobs for me, I directed him to make two chair-frames, no larger than those I had in my box, and then to bore little holes with a fine awl round thofe parts where I defigned the backs and feats; through thefe holes I wove the ftrongest hairs I could pick out, juft after the manner of cane-chairs in England. When they were finished, I made a prefent of them to her Majefty, who kept them in her cabinet, and ufed to fhew them for curiofities, as indeed they were the wonder of every one that beheld them. The Queen would have had me fit upon one of thefe chairs, but I abfolutely refufed to obey her, protefting I would rather die a thoufand deaths than place a difhonourable part of my body on thofe precious hairs, that once adorned her Majefty's head. Of thefe hairs (as I had always a mechanical genius) I likewife made a neat little purfe about five feet long, with her Majefty's name decyphered in gold letters, which I gave to Glumdalclitch by the Queen's confent. To fay the truth, it was more for fhew than ufe, being not of ftrength to bear the weight of the larger coins, and therefore fhe kept nothing in it but fome little toys that girls are fond of.

THE King, who delighted in mufic, had frequent concerts at court, to which I was fometimes carried, and fet in my box on a table to hear them: but the noife was fo great, that I could hardly diftinguish the tunes. I am confident, that all the drums and trumpets of a royal army, beating and founding together just at your ears, could not equal it.

My

My practice was to have my box removed from the place where the performers fat as far as I could, then to fhut the doors and windows of it, and draw the window-curtains; after which I found their mufic not difagreeable.

I had learned in my youth to play a little upon the fpinet. Glumdalclitch kept one in her chamber; and a

But

Master attended twice a week to teach her: I called it a fpinet, because it somewhat resembled that inftrument, and was plaid upon in the fame manner. A fancy came into my head, that I would entertain the King and Queen with an English tune upon this inftrument. this appeared extremely difficult: for the fpinet was near fixty feet long, each key being almost a foot wide, fo that with my arms extended I could not reach to above five keys, and to prefs them down required a good smart stroke with my fift, which would be too great a labour, and to no purpofe. The method I contrived was this: 1 prepared two round fticks about the bigness of common cudgels; they were thicker at one end than the other, and I covered the thicker ends with a piece of a moufe's skin, that by rapping on them I might neither damage the tops of the keys, nor interrupt the found. Before the fpinet a bench was placed about four feet below the keys, and I was put upon the bench. I ran fideling upon it that way and this as fast as I could, banging the proper keys with my two fticks, and made a fhift to play a jigg to the great fatisfaction of both their Majefties: but it was the most violent exercife I ever underwent, and yet I could not ftrike above fixteen keys, nor confequently play the bafs and treble together, as other artists do; which was a great difadvantage to my performance.

THE King, who, as I before obferved, was a Prince of excellent understanding, would frequently order that I fhould be brought in my box, and fet upon the table in his clofet: he would then command me to bring one of my chairs out of the box, and fit down within three yards distance upon the top of the cabinet, which brought me almost to a level with his face. In this manner I had feveral converfations with him. I one day took the freedom to tell his Majesty, that the contempt he difcovered towards Europe, and the reft of the world, did not feem anfwerable to those excellent qualities of mind, that he

was.