LAW AND LAWYERS. Law-makers should not be law-breakers. PARLIAMENT has made it penal to pollute the air of towns with smoke, and the Builder complains that more smoke issues from Parliament's own chimneys than from any six factories in London. Abundance of law breaks no law. It is safer to exceed than to fall short of what the law requires. In a thousand pounds of law there is not an ounce of love. A pennyweight of love is worth a pound weight of law. So much more cogent is the one than the other. Laws were made for rogues. "For the upright there are no laws" (German).1 They are designed to control those to whom it may be said Ye wad do little for God if the deil were dead. - Scotch. "The fear o' hell's a hangman's whip To keep the wretch in order; 1 Für Gerechte giebt es keine Gesetze. "Its slightest touches, instant pause, And resolutely keep its laws, Uncaring consequences." He that loves law will get his fill of it. Agree, for the law is costly. Law's costly; tak a pint and 'gree. - Scotch. Lord Mansfield declared that if any man claimed a field from him, he would give it up, provided the concession were kept secret, rather than engage in proceedings at law. Hesiod, in admonishing his brother always to prefer a friendly accommodation to a lawsuit, gave to the world the paradoxical proverb, "The half is more than the whole." Very often "A lean agreement is better than a fat lawsuit" (Italian). "Lawyers' garments are lined with suitors' obstinacy" (Italian);2 and "Their houses are built of fools' heads" (French).3 Doctors and lawyers are notoriously shy of taking what they prescribe for others. "No good lawyer ever goes to law" (Italian). Lord Chancellor Thurlow did so once, but in his case the exception approved the rule. A house had been built for him by contract, but he had made himself liable for more than the stipulated price by ordering some departures from the specification whilst the work was in progress. He refused to pay the additional charge; the builder brought an action and got a 1 E meglio un magro accordo che una grassa lite. 2 Le vesti degli avvocati son fodrate dell' ostinazion dei litiganti. 8 Les maisons des avocats sont faictes de la teste des folz. 4 Nessum buon avvocato piatisce mai. verdict against him, and surly Thurlow never afterwards set foot within the house which was the monument of his wrong-headedness and its chastisement. Refer my coat, and lose a sleeve. - Scotch. Arbitrators generally make both parties abate something of their pretensions. Fair and softly, as lawyers go to heaven. The odds are great against their ever getting there, if it be true that "Unless hell is full, never will a lawyer be saved" (French).1 "The greater lawyer, the worse Christian" (Dutch).2 "Virtue in the middle,' said the devil, as he sat between two attorneys " (Danish).3 666 1 Si enfer n'est plein, oncques n'y aura d'avocat sauvé. 2 Hoe grooter jurist, hoe boozer Christ. 3 Dyden i Midten, sagde Fanden, han sal imellem to Procura toren. PHYSIC.-PHYSICIANS.-MAXIMS RELATING TO HEALTH. If the doctor cures, the sun sees it; if he kills, the earth hides it. "THE earth covers the mistakes of the physician." (Italian, Spanish). "Bleed him and purge him; if he dies, bury him (Spanish). It is a melancholy truth that "The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease" (French).3 "Throw physic to the dogs," is in effect the advice given by many eminent physicians, and by some of the greatest thinkers the world has seen. "Shun doctors and doctors' drugs if you wish to be well," was the seventh, last, and best rule of health laid down by the famous physician Hoffmann. Sir William Hamilton declared that "Medicine in the hands in which it is vulgarly dispensed is a curse to humanity rather than a blessing;" and Sir Astley Cooper did not scruple to avow that "The science of medicine was founded on conjecture and improved by murder. It is a remark 1 Gli errori del medico gli copre la terra. Los yerros del médico la tierra los cubre. 2 Sungrarle y purgarle; si se muriere, enterrarle. 3 Le médecin est souvent plus à craindre que la maladie. 4 Fuge medicos ac medicamenta, si vis esse salvus. able fact that "The doctor seldom takes physic" (Italian).1 He does not appear to have a very lively faith in his own art. As for his alleged cures, their reality does not pass unquestioned. It is true that "Dear physic always does good, if not to the patient, at least to the apothecary" (German); but "It is God that cures, and the doctor gets the money" (Spanish).3 Save your money, then, and "If you have a friend who is a doctor, take off your hat to him, and send him to the house of your enemy" (Spanish).* The best physicians are Dr. Diet, Dr. Quiet, and Dr. Merriman. Every man at forty is either a fool or a physician. A creaking gate hangs long on its hinges. Valetudinarians often outlive persons of robust constitution who take less care of themselves. A French saying to this purpose, which is too idiomatic to be translated, was neatly applied by Pozzo di Borgo in a conversation with Lady Holland. Her ladyship, exulting in the duration of the Whig government, notwithstanding the prevalent anticipations of their fall, said to him: "Vous voyez, Monsieur l'Ambassadeur, que nous vivons toujours." "Oui, madame," he replied, "les petites santés durent quelquefois longtemps." "Creak 1 Di rado il medico piglia medicina. 2 Theure Arznei hilft immer, wenn nicht dem Kranken doch dem Apotheker. 3 Dios es el que sana, y el medico lleva la plata. 4 Si tienes medico amigo, quitale la gorra, y envialo á casa de tu enemigo. |