CHAPTER LXXXIV. Settled at home. A mind ill at ease. Fascination. Sent for at last. A journey in vain. Serious thoughts. Chagrin. Despondency. An electric shock. An electric shock. Decent conduct. An assiduous friend. A magnificent project. A kindling imȧgination. Sedate counsel. Difference of opinion. widower. Scrupulous propriety. Good resolves. The GERTRUDE settled herself in her new habitation; and her active plan, though not yet entered on, met every encouragement from all but the earl; yet, notwithstanding all her efforts, and all her surrounding comforts, she found it a greater exertion than ever, to prevent falling into dejection. Under Lady Luxmore's discipline, she had never felt wayward or fastidious; now, nothing pleased her: Surely,' said she, I am either ill or very much to blame: I am not as happy as I ought to be. Poor Portargis! what good will my grief do thee?-Lord Luxmore is out of my reach: I am sorry for him; but he is still with kind friends; and I hope he will soon be able to go to Luxmore; and then Mr. Sydenham will be every thing to him. Lady Luxmore spurns my attention. My mother is so much more to me than I could have hoped; and I have such a fair prospect!—and every body is so kind to me!-Well! perhaps I VOL. IV. want want employment. I am so used to work hard that I cannot be happy without work. I am now spoilt by indulgence, though I have not been idle. Then I shall certainly be better after Midsummer, when I enter on my active life. O! what a comfort to have an occupation!-I will be doubly diligent in the interim, in my own improvement: for thus much I will venture to say to myself;—I must not think.' Her own exertions did much; and in a few weeks, her friends were pleased to see the good effects of Sussex air on her countenance. Lady Elma was preparing a town-residence for herself; but her home was still Mr. Mudd's; and her popularity brought, to whatever place was her abode, a considerable resort of persons of distinction, for birth or talents. In as much of this as could be agreeable, Gertrude had her share; and even her own reluctance became a motive to going into the society of Mr. Mudd's house, when she would gladly have remained quietly in her own. Basil Sydenham, now lieutenant-colonel, came into the neighborhood; and his first visit was to Lady Elma: his second to Gertrude. There were recollections in the mind of each, that made the meeting painful and distressing; and some minutes passed before either could speak freely; but Lady Elma soon joined them, and the scene changed on her entrance. Lady Elma gave her own hue to whatever surrounded her. The colonel who, hitherto, seemed borne down by the painful recur rences rences of his meeting with Gertrude, was now the lively double of Lady Elma, whose railleries he caught at the rebound, and who seemed, of all persons, the one in whose hands he appeared to the most advantage. In their walk round Mr. Mudd's grounds, Gertrude fell back, and entered into the pursuits of the young ones, but on Mr. Mudd's coming up to them, she resumed her place, to learn what Colonel Sydenham could tell of the earl, who, she found, was still in Bedfordshire, and not inclined to change his abode. The visit ended by inviting the visitor to dine: the invitation was accepted for the next day; and Lady Elma, when he was gone, condescended to apologise, with all her graces, to Gertrude, for having drawn off her friend. More than ever was the image of Portargis present to Gertrude's mind after this interview. Mr. Sydenham, in what he had done for his son, seemed to have shewn what he could have done for his pupil; and Basil was so entirely what all a father could wish, that she could not but hope it would be long before the earl's grief met the severe trial of a comparison. Called off as he had been from her, she yet felt no mortification: his manner to her was distinguishing, even in neglect; and in making his arrangement for the next day, he told her he had so much to say to her, that he should sit an hour with her before he made his appearance at Mr. Mudd's. She was pleased and soothed by his kindness; but her spirits were not raised. On the day following, she was dressing, that she might be ready to receive him, when she was greatly surprised by the hasty arrival of Lady Luxmore's footman, who came to inform her that . his lady had been ordered to Brighton,—that she had reached it three days before;-and was then so ill that her life was not expected. Miss Maudlin had left her; she had only servants with her; and she carnestly requested to see Miss Aubrey; for which purpose, she had sent her carriage to convey her: it had put up at the neighboring inn, and, in an hour, would be ready to set out. In such a case, there could be no hesitation. Gertrude lost not a moment: she informed her friends of the summons; and committing her mother, whom she dared not take with her, to their care, she left a message of matter of fact, by way of apology to Colonel Sydenham, for her absence, and set out, with less hope than she appeared to have, of returning the next day. But diligent as she had been, she was too late. The countess had, in an hour after her messenger departed, breathed her last, in complaints of the ingratitude and deceit of the world. The account the servants gave of the extreme dejection of spirits and increased bodily sufferings under which this unhappy woman had labored, since Gertrude left her, would have been severely afflicting, had the separation originated with her, or had any attention, on her part, been wanting; but an acquitting conscience admitted no remorse; and what sorrow she she felt for Lady Luxmore, was the genuine compassion of a fellow-creature. Nothing remaining to be done that Gertrude. could, with any propriety, do, she left it to those on the spot, to inform his lordship of his loss, and putting herself into a post-chaise, set off on her return, reflecting, in the little journey, on the irregular. pace of this world's affairs. Years of her life had glided by, in the same equal tenor, with no variation to which she was sensible, but in her height and the expansion of her mind: her will had been passive; she had known no responsibility, for she had had no trust. If she had possessed no active virtue, she had been secured against the commission of any very great faults; and if enjoyment had been denied her, she seemed at an equal distance from calamity: she felt grateful that she had not, even when most oppressed, been insensible to the important blessings of maintenance and protection. She had had, indeed, few, very few friends, ta call forth the social feelings. Mr. Sterling, good. Mr. Sterling! had possessed her esteem: Lady Luxmore could claim nothing higher than her patience: Portargis had her juvenile affection: Lord Luxmore had now her gratitude. For some she had felt, by the permission or prohibition of those who ruled her; but Mr. Sydenham and Mrs. Brett, Lady Elma, and Miss Le Sage, she hoped she might call her tried personal friends. Of the persons rising to her remembrance as her first connections, how large a proportion was now, in a short space, wept away! The family in which she had been reared, |