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A SCENE AT SHADWELL; gate Market with a decent coat on is sure to come out all in Scale Armer! Well, sum things as my friend BILL told me is such staggerers, as I've a werry grate differculty in swallering 'em, but as I don't see what he has to get by lying, I'm forced to b'leeve him. He says Wans of Fish from the Railways offen has to go past the Market, and round to Tower Ill and back 3 or 4 times afore they can find room to unload, and sumtimes they has to go back with their Fish to the Railway Stashun, and bring it back again the next day, which of course all adds to the jolly scrowge as they ginerally has there, and don't much improve the Fish.

Well, that's pretty strong for a poor Waiter with only a modrate Swaller, but jest think of this. His Master in Buttolf Lane had to go to Dover last week. Wen he started, a Wan was at the door loading. He went to Dover, trarnsacted his bizziness at Dover, and came back to Buttolf Lane, and the Wan was still in Buttolf Lane, and remaned there another hour before it could get out!

OR, RIVER-SIDE JUSTICE.

into a friendly chat with one of the Carmen, he told me they wes offen 6 and 7 hours a-getting through this not werry long lane that hasn't no turning. A most civil Beedle at the Cole Exchange, the place I spose where they mixes the Coles, who I saw at the side door, nex to a werry respecktable Pub, told me that sumtimes of a morning all the pavement is so covered with large wet fish-boxes, that the Cole exchanging Gents can't get into their offices, and if he wentures a slite remonsterence with the perspiring Kostermongers, the powerful langwidge as they uses to him quite shocks the pore Beedle's nerves. He says that sumtimes, when there's a jolly good lot of Fish cums, the whole plaice is blocked for hours, and then the Salesmen telecrams to the Fish Sender, "Market Glutted. Don't send no more!" But as I didn't choose to be insulted by being expected to beleeve such rubbish as that, I thanked the nervous Coley Beedle and came away, pretendin as I didn't b'leeve a word of it, tho' I do appen to know as it's all Trew! I wish we could send a Telacram to Ireland-"House glutted with Irish talk. Don't send no more." That 'ud be as reel a blessing to Members, as Mrs. Windslow's Soothing Surrup is to Mothers, and then we shouldn't want no Ortum Season, as I hears we 're to have. ROBERT.

I'm werry sensertive to riddycule-most littery peeple is, I fancyso, wishing BILL good-bye, I sorntered into Buttolf Lane and had a good look at it. I then went back 3 hours arterwards, and there was lots of the same Wans as I had seen 3 hours afore, and getting

MONDAY, July 10.- Hear of a little arrangement now in progress. Some of our young men have had enough of GLADSTONE, HARTINGTON, and others who have enjoyed office for many years. Their turn now. Country hasn't got on so well under these elders as to put out of Court motive for substitution of Juniors.

"They have tried it in the Army," young LAMBTON says, gloomily. "When a man's been a Colonel for five years he goes whether he's good o bad. What's sauce for th Colonel should be sauce for the PREMIER. If he won't do as we tell him, let him go. We'll soon get another;" and the sprig of nobility, not without satisfaction, glances at himself in the Peer-glass.

Fresh recruit to-night in the person of Mr. SEELYSEELY, Junior, elected the other day for Nottingham. Sat in obscurity of back Benches long enough. Comes out tonight, and,-to the delirious delight of JOSEPH GILLIS, who, since Mr. HEALY is virtuous, thought there were to be no more cakes and ale,browbeats the PREMIER. This thing likely to grow. PETER has been sounded, but won't join in this unless he 's promised Chancellorship of the Exchequer. That's position in the new Ministry SAMUELSON, Junior, has selected for himself. MARRIOTT has not

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED FROM

THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.

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There is," he said just now, "a party in the House not satisfied." But then WILFRID wants so much. If we were all teetotallers, all members of the Peace Society, and all privates in the Salvation Army, he would be sure to find some other unpleasantness to force upon us.

Perhaps the most remarkable episode in the phenomena of the day

Thursday Night.-Coolness sprung up between Right Hon. friends on Opposition Bench. STAFFORD NORTHCOTE complains that HICKSBEACH, SMITH, and GIBSON hustled him when he was about to ask the Government why they had not done something else at Alexandria. Besides HICKS-BEACH in jumping up and trying to get before SMITH trod on his toe. HICKS-BEACH very sorry, but says SMITH shoved him. SMITH quite unconscious of having done so, but if so it was GIBSON. He was at the Table first. GIBSON had been up three times with his joke, well enough once, about the convicts, and had tried to elbow him (W. H. S.) off. Then, he admits, he laid his hand on GIBSON's arm. If in the struggle he cannoned against HICKS-BEACH very sorry. "That's all very well," STAFFORD NORTHCOTE says with quiet persistency; "but the fact remains, my toe was trodden on."

In the end, determined to turn on GIBSON. What's he to Egypt, or Egypt to him, that he should jostle W. H. SMITH at the table, and cannon against Sir MICHAEL HICKS-BEACH, who trod on the toe

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IT'S NOT SO DIFFICULT TO SPEAK FRENCH, AFTER ALL.

Mistress (fluently). "OH-ER-FRANÇOISE, IL FAUT QUE VOUS ALLIEZ CHEZ LE CHEMIST, DANS HIGH STREET, POUR LE GARGLE DE MADEMOISELLE MAUD; ET CHEZ LE TOY-SHOP, POUR LE LAWN-TENNIS BAT DE MONSIEUR MALCOLM; ET N'OUBLIEZ PAS MON WATERPROOF, CHFZ LE CLEANER, VIS-À-VIS L'UNDERGROUND RAILWAY STATION; ET DITES À SMITHSON, LE BUILDER (DANS CHURCH LANE À CÔTÉ DU PUBLICHOUSE, VOUS SAVEZ), QUE LE KITCHEN-BOILER EST-EST-EST

"

Françoise (who has been longer in England than her new Mistress thinks). "EST BURRRST! TRÈS BIEN, MADAME."

POOR JACK.

(Revised Version.)

Go patter to fogies and croakers, d'ye see,
About Old Wooden Walls, and the like!
An iron-clad hulk or smart gunboat give me,
And it ain't to an earthquake I'll strike.

Our Eighty-One-Tonners like thunderbolts smite,
And splinter huge stone-blocks like wood,
But a gunboat'll see all the fun of the fight,
If the grit of its Captain be good.
Avast! nor don't think me a duffer so soft
As to timber to wish to go back,

For there still is a Providence sits up aloft
To keep watch for the life of poor JACK.

Your penny-a-liners palaver away

About Hearts of Oak, NELSON, and such, Were that gallant old hero still with us to-day, He'd like pounding the Marabout much. To hear our huge Téméraire thundering out Would 'a quickened his pulses, I know, Whilst that trim little Condor a-scudding about Would 'a gladdened the heart o' BENBOW. Though an iron ton doesn't fly slow or hit soft, That won't take our tars all aback;

There is still that sweet Cherub as sits up aloft To keep watch o'er the life of poor JACK.

I said to our POLL, as was going to cry,

When an Eighty-One-Tonner she see,

"What argufies funking or piping your eye?

Why what a great goose you must be!

But our Sailors aren't changed, don't you know,

And if to Old DAVY I must go, dear POLL,

What matters, my dear, how I go?

Cheer up! All's a hazard. Come, don't be a soft,
Like enough I shall laughing come back,

For there's still that there Cherub sits smiling aloft,

To keep watch for the life of poor JACK."

D'ye mind me, a Sailor should be every inch
All as one as a part of his ship;

Be it iron or wood, he won't offer to flinch
Whilst the sea holds a foeman to whip.

As for me, on the whopping Invincible's deck,

Or the cockyhoop Condor's, I'm game

For a slap at the foe. Arter all, I expect,

As it comes pooty much to the same.

Behind iron or wood, while their hearts don't grow soft,
British tars won't be taken aback,

And that sweet little Cherub still sits up aloft
To keep watch for the life of poor JACK.

Cetewayo's Residence.

THE Government, amongst its other troubles, is puzzled to decide upon a fit and proper dwelling for the Zulu King. Lord GINGERLY, who is always cautious, has suggested a suburban residence, probably at Camden Town. If a hint from us is acceptable, we might name Blackwall or Blackheath. Windsor Castle is out of the question. After the Black King has moved he cannot castle.

MRS. RAMSBOTHAM tells us she recently purchased at a sale in the country a Sheridan sofa and half a dozen Colebrook Dale

Can't you see the world changes, ships, guns, shots, and all? chairs, which give quite an Ascetic appearance to her drawing

room.

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"NEW GUNS SWEEP CLEAN!'

JOHN BULL, A.B. "AH! THIS IS HOW THE BLUE-JACKETS DEAL WITH OBSTRUCTION.' IF ONLY THE RED-COATS HAD BEEN HANDY FOR THE 'PREVENTION OF CRIME,' MISTER HORRIBLE PASHA' WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN IN IT AT ALL!"

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