No. 86.]

OR

LADIES' WORK.

ABOUT fifteen years ago, or perhaps rather more, the female part of the community became possessed with a mania for the fabrication of sundry insubstantial articles, which now go under the general appellation of ladies' work. A gentleman would come home to dinner at his usual hour, in the expectation of seeing the table-cloth laid, when, instead of any such blissful vision, he would find only an array of cuttings of Bristol board, hardening into card-racks or Chinese pagodas. He would stir the fire," as oft he had done before O," when suddenly he would find the frantic grasp of wife or daughter at his rash hand, if not his throat, while a startling wail informed him that he had completely destroyed either a pot of melted sealingwax or a cruet of gum-arabic. He would lift up his eyes in the evening to the drawing-room chimneypiece, and remark, with astonishment, that, instead of the elegant china vases or glass chandeliers which formerly adorned it-articles which he well recollected purchasing for no small sum to gratify his wife in her honeymoon-there was now a crowd of ineffable com positions of pasteboard and wafers, gold paper and narrow blue ribbons, bearing the shapes of baskets, or match-holders, or lanterns-ghastly inessential-looking things, fit only to ornament a house inhabited by children's dolls, or be offered as gifts to the fairies. He would remonstrate; but he would be told that he was no judge of such things. It was well known that he had the oddest tastes imaginable. The ladies' work executed by his wife and daughters, had been universally admired. Bella's neatness of hand in making pin-cushions out of shells, was allowed to be astonishing. Grace had produced some Poonah paintings of York Minster and the Eddystone Light-house, which several young gentlemen that visited the house had spoken of in the warmest terms of commendation. It was surprising how even little Susan had been getting on in knitting purses. Mamma had chiefly distinguished herself in covering card-cases with a beautiful encrustation of sealing-wax, bearing impres sions of twenty different seals which had been copied by moulds of bread. It was quite wonderful how far a pennyworth of cambric paper and two or three slips of gold edging wonld go in decorating a honse. Besides, they were turning their industry to some account in making things for themselves. They had all got new reticules, of the handsomest appearance, the prime cost of which did not exceed threepence each; and Caroline had made considerable progress in a pair of silk mits, in open work, which would be quite as good as those bought at one shilling and fourpence a pair in the shops. It was even thought by mamma that it would be quite possible to make a fine pelerine for a black silk dress of her own, out of a quantity of black bugles which had been lying for several years useless beside her. These and other like demonstrations NO. LXXXVI. VOL. VIII.

[VOL. 8.

would be poured upon the honest man by his indignant women-folk; and the result would probably be, that, merely to preserve peace, he would say no more for the present on the change of scenery which had been effected on the mantel-piece.

His wife and daughters would of course continue their operations. Seeing a strange seaman-like man one day in the lobby, and inquiring his business, he would learn that this was an emissary employed by the family to collect pretty shells on a particular beach twenty miles off. Observing a great increase in the consumption of eggs at breakfast, all the girls now taking one each, whereas formerly they had taken none, he would ask how the tastes of the family had happened to change so much; when it would be discovered, though not without some little difficulty, that the object was not alimentary, but ornamental. They did not care for the contents of the eggs: they appreciated only what the proverbial wisdom of mankind has set down as worthless from the beginning of the world-the shells. And he would then observe that a peculiar nicety was observed in eating their eggs, the tops being struck off with a practised dexterity by a knife, in order that a sufficient vessel of capacity might remain, to be decorated with gold paper, and ornamented with a pencil drawing in front. On another occasion, as the mania went on and thickened, he would be surprised one afternoon by an extraordinary quietness and absence from the parlour, being allowed to read through the whole of his paper without once having a question put to him; when by and bye he would be saluted with some singular fumes, such as he had no olfactory recollection of from the days of his studying chemistry as a lad; and, on eagerly inquiring into the cause, he would discover that there was a mysterious conclave held in the back kitchen by the female community, not, however, over any diabolic caldron, or necromantic rites, but for the simple purpose of attempting to cover a wire basket with crystals. In a few minutes, the experiment would be pronounced successful, and the result produced-a paltry, clumsy, dull-coloured piece of trumpery, fit only to figure beside stucco parrots and coloured prints of Flora and Pomona in "the worst inn's worst room." Yet for this they would have the assurance to request that he would order a glass cover, beneath which it might be preserved, free from dust and damaging contact, in the centre of the drawing-room table!

The fit, if not prolonged by an injudicious opposi tion, generally lasted a few weeks, during which time enough of ladies' work had been produced to cover almost every thing in the shape of shelf, bracket, mantel-piece, and table, that the house contained. It then became an amusing study to the head of the house, to observe the progress of natural ruin amongst his many eye-sores. White card-racks would degenerate into brown. Gold edgings, whether plain or Vandyke, would crisp off. Gilded and painted egg-shells would

II.

vanish, as if the witches had taken a fancy to make a fleet of them. Crystalline encrustations would melt into salt water, and, in doing so, sap the foundations of the match-holders, which would accordingly be. found some morning reeling in all directions, like so many drunk men, or Falling Towers of Pisa. The mice, too, would be found to have commenced a critical survey of the wafer-works, and to have made sundry alterations not strictly such as a human connoisseur would have approved of. In short, ladies' work would be found to be somewhat like snow men and snow fortifications, got up by boys-scarcely calculated to survive the freak which created them. The head of the house would now venture a few cursory remarks on the handiwork of his wife and children, who, at length, unable either to bear his satire, or to deinolish things which they still regarded with not a little of the pride of art, would modestly withdraw the whole, in the course of some great scouring match, and lay them by in sundry out-of-the-way drawers and cabinets. Here, next, in the course of their endless rummagings, the infantine members of the family would find them; and, led by an instinct which makes ehildren know what is only good enough for them to destroy, would lay hold of them as fair prizes. A scene would then take place somewhat like the breaking up of an hospital for old people in a revolution. Poor brokendown objects would be seen undergoing the greatest cruelties. Things sullied before would now be made as black as paws could make them. Dishevelled piles of shell-work would be plucked bare of the shells, and only the ghastly frame work left behind. The grand pagoda would be reduced to the predicament of the seized still, as described by Burns

"See vile excisemen, in a bustle,
Exulting crushing't like a mussel,
Or lampet shell."

All, in short, that could be further spoilt would be spoilt, and all that could be further ruined would be ruined; and, finally, the whole would be left scattered about the parlour floor-the wrecks of what had never been any thing but a wreck, the ghosts of the ghosts of impersonated Tawdrinesses-so as to be seen by papa and mamma entering together, as if for the purpose of affording to the former party one consummate, but on this occasion silent joke, at the precious toils of his spouse and her maidens.

Such were the beginnings, middles, and ends of fits of ladies' work, as they used to affect the domestic circle alone; and, for some years, the unfortunate head of the family was the only person whom ladies' work in any way afflicted. But, by and bye, as the mania grew, it was discovered that the field of annoyance might be much extended, Human nature is such that people can scarcely give their money directly for charitable objects. If a portion of the poor be suffering unheard-of miseries from some overpowering access of desease or famine, the wealthy can do nothing to relieve them, till they have first put their hearts and purses in the way of being opened by a dance and a feast. Some ingenious wit, who had studied this peculiarity of the human character, conceived the felicitous idea that large sums might be realised, for charitables ends, from even ladies' work, if only the fair ladies themselves, and the more of them duchesses

men.

the better, would condescend to become the saleswoTo work, then, went the ladies, with redoubled ardour, modifying Bristol card, gold paper, egg-shells, and wafers, into all imaginable shapes and no shapes; and when an enormous quantity of things had been prepared, they were brought together into a public place, and made the subject of what was called a Fancy Fair. Stalls were erected, where lots of the work were exhibited, under the superintendence of its prettiest, or most highly titled, manufacturesses. Young gentlemen, and also some old ones, came to buy, and, as smiles from sweet lips went in profusion to every bargain, it is not surprising that the basket and match-holders met a good apparent sale. Perhaps it should rather be said that the smiles, with which there generally went something supposed to exist in the shape of a basket or a match-holder, brought good prices. But this is merely a question of rhetoric. One thing is certain, the thing took. Fancy fairs were found to be a most efficient means of promoting charitable objects. Ladies' work therefore became a thing of vast consequence, and was universally practised. Motley was the only wear.

Some time ago, conversing with an English lady of much sound sense on the subject of these fairs, we were surprised to hear her mention, that inappropriate as she appeared to the business of keeping a stall in any such place of merchandise, she had once actually appeared in that character, though not quite with her will. At our request, she drew up the following

account of the case.

"The day alluded to was certainly the most toilsome I have ever experienced. My knees ache still at the remembrance of the multiplicity of curtseys I had to perform to my worthy customers, and my tongue still feels blistered with the constant talk I had to keep up for some six hours, in setting forth my wares to the best advantage. Up to the year 1833. I had not so much as seen a fancy fair. I happened incautiously to say so in the presence of an accomplished foreigner of distinguished literary attainments, a chevalier of the Prussian eagle, and an old and valued friend of my father. He rallied much on my apathetic disregard of that which had excited so powerfully the amiable sensibilities of so many of my fair countrywomen, whose active exertions in the aid of various charities he enlarged upon in very eloquent terms, and finally prevailed upon me to join a party of ladies to witness the preparations for the fancy fair that was to be held in the Egyptian Hall, in the Mansion-House, on the following day, for the benefit of distressed foreigners. He was a member of the comittee, and pledged himself that we should receive every attention, without being inconvenienced in any degree by the crowd, if we would but arrange to make our visit before business commenced. "Why," as Sir John Froissart says, "should I make a long story of it?" I consented. Our worthy chevalier took care that we should be in time, by coming himself to summon us at an unprecedentedly early hour for a morning engagement during the London season. But the London season was nearly over. It was in the month of August; so of course my anticipations of the company at the Egyptian Hall were not of a very brillant nature. In fact, I did not purpose tarrying till the doors were opened for the admittance of the public; but no one knows in the morning what

temptations they may yield to in the course of the day. While we were admiring the arrangement of my Lady Mayoress's stand, on which the most attractive of the articles on sale were displayed, a billet was delivered to the gentlemen of the commitee, announcing the indisposition of a lady who had undertaken to keep one of the stands, whereupon my chevalier of the black eagle must needs propose for me to take her place.

This motion was vehemently seconded by all the other members of the committee. It was to no purpose that I endeavoured to excuse myself, by pleading inexperience, incapacity, and want of courage. They overruled all my objections, flattered, reasoned, and entreated, and finally assured me "that nothing but an acknowledgment of want of benevolence and good nature on my part would induce them to let me off."

My refusals grew less decided. They took advantage of the critical moment to range themselves before the stand, where I had unwittingly suffered myself to be installed, and began to ask the price of "my stock in trade," as they called the toys with which it was bespread. Half in fun, I named a monstrous price for a geranium-coloured and silver purse, which I concluded would frighten away all my customers, and then I should be able to make my escape; but scarcely were the words out of my mouth, before my chevalier paid the money down, and assuring me that there was now no retreat for me, as I had commenced business," he assisted two other gentlemen of the committee to raise the barricade which served alike to preserve my sacred nook inviolate from the intrusion of the unprivileged, and to prevent my own unauthorised retreat from my post.

The persevering chevalier of the Prussian eagle was not only most magnificent in his own purchases, but he continued to bring and send me so many gentlemen customers, that for the first half hour I was too much occupied in serving them, to be able to spare a moment's reflection on any other subject than the duties of my novel vocation. The influence of private patronage, however, whether in matters of literature or trade, be it ever so powerful in its way, can only have a temporary effect. That of my good chevalier terminated soon after the doors were thrown open for the admitance of the public, and I had then, in common with the other ladies, to depend on my own powers of persuation to obtain custom.

It was then that I for the first time in my life began to experience the hopes, the fears, the anxieties, and the vexations, of a shopkeeper. I became a new creature. The past, the future, were as nothing to me; I forgot my own identity, so completely absorbed was I in the all-powerful excitement of trade; I was no longer, but a seller of purses and pin-cushions, screens, cards-racks, reticules, and an endless variety of ephemeral articles, many of which tumbled to pieces in the hands of those who came to look and not to purchase. How numerous and annoying this class of persons were, it is still painful to remember; for the trouble they caused not only to me, but to every lady associated with me in the business of stand-keeping, no tongue can tell, and it would be difficult for the pen even of a ready writer to chronicle.

The fancy fair in the Mansion-House differed greatly

from most institutions of the kind, where prices the most exorbitant are usually affixed to the articles, and larger sums still realised, where the attendance is so good as to occasion a ready demand, and perhaps a competition among the purchasers from royal or peculiarly distinguished stands. The fact was, and unfortunately the circumstance was whispered in the room, that our fair was stocked from the refuse articles that had been left unsold at the late memorable fancy fair which had been held for the same charity at the Hanover Square Room in the height of the season. Many of the things were damaged, soiled, tumbled, and in some cases perfectly unsaleable at the West End; therefore they had been clandestinely conveyed. to the Mansion-House, to be disposed of for whatever sums could be obtained. The gentlemen of the committee privately informed me of this, and instructed me to obtain the best prices I could, but by no means to refuse any bid that was not absolutely insulting to my feelings as a lady. Very perseveringly did I endea. vour to move the hard hearts of my commercial customers to purchase my wares at something like the prices at which they had originally been marked, but the thrifty belles and shrewd matrons of the city reproached me with the previous appearance of the articles at the Hanover Square Room, called them "second hand trumpery," and offered sixpences for things that were marked at crowns, and even sovereigns. Certainly the cheapest of them had been ridiculously overrated, even if they had been in their pristine brightness, which few, alas, were. Truth to tell, I would not myself have given a sovereign for all the things on my own stand after the chevalier and his recruits had made their purchases. I had hand-screens and card-racks that could scarcely be made to keep together till they should be sold; as for my taper stands, the charity committee must have considered themselves under weighty obligations to those who sent them, for they were constructed of the following elegant materiel namely, the stems were made of cotton reels or bobbins slightly attached to the lid of a pill-box, which, with the rim upwards, served for a stand. The whole was lakered with black sealingwax, and, with a waxed wick by way of taper, was considered a very ingenious contrivance, and sold readily for the sum of six pence, without any recommendation on my part, for I was consciencious enough to caution some the purchasers against the imprudence of making use of such incendiary contrivances. But they were so charmed with their cheapness, that my prudential hints were quite thrown away.

What useless things people will buy, if the only fancy they are bargains! This was a day of bargains, or of bargaining at any rate; for though we all agreed at three o'clock to proclaim that this was a cheap day, we found it heavy work to realise a few sales. The people swarmed round our stands like bees; but, let us name ever such low prices, they bade still lower. The secret of this was, the admission into the Egyptian Hall was only a shilling, and we had in consequence a very plebeian set of customers. For my part, 1 looked round anxiously for familiar faces among the company. I was more than usually affectionate to my friends, and exchanged gracious greetings with my slightest acquaintances, in hopes of drawing an increase of custom to my stand. Without boasting, I believe

on,

I may say I effected wonders in the way of sales, considering that I was alone, and unsupported in my exertions. The Lady Mayoress, who had six civic ladies in waiting to assist her, had an easy time of it. She had only to bow, to curtsey, to smile, or to exchange one or two words of compliment with a favoured few, while her maids of honour performed the executive part of the business for her; whereas I had not only to curtsey, bow, smile, and exert all my small powers of fascination, at the serious risk of getting myself reported as a flirt by some jealous lookerbut to talk myself hoarse in extolling faded frippery, wasting occasionally a guinea's worth of time in persuading an obdurate troublesome person, who came to look and not to buy, to purchase at reduced prices articles not intrinsically worth a groat. It is but justice to myfriendly chevalier, and the other gentlemen of the committee, to bear witness that they rendered me every assistance in their power. They were unwearied in bringing me refreshments of every kind, but I had no time to partake of them. The ices all dissolved with the heat of the room before I had leisure to cool my parched lips with a single spoonful; the jellies and blanc mange followed their example. I was in the state of Tantalus, surrounded with good things, yet none the better for the abundance. I was often entreated to withdraw to the ladies refreshment room, but had too much reason to suspect the morale of some of the shilling visitants to venture to desert the guardianship of my stand for a single moment.

At four o'clock, just as I had talked myself hoarse, and had great difficulty in making my responses audible to my customers, amidst the general buzz of the crowded room, where there was a Babel-like confusion of tongues, the city band entered the gallery over my head, and began to thunder Rule Britannia in tremendous style, "in hopes" the committee said, "of attracting more company." We had more than was good already, I thought. The music drew in a fresh influx sure enough, but I could neither hear my customers nor make them hear me; I could not even hear myself, while the double drums were rolling, the trumpets flourishing, the French horns roaring, and the musicians beating time with their feet over the regions of thought.

All the sales I effected while this concert lasted, were negociated in dumb show, and some of my best articles were carried off at an immense sacrifice, because I was unable to make my dissent audible when inadequate prices were tendered. My stand being pretty well cleared of its original stock, the committee though proper to vote me a fresh supply of goods, and, among other interesting miscellanea, I was given some engravings of the Duke of Saxe Weimar's portrait, which had just been presented in aid of the charity by some benevolent foreigner. One of these was with some trouble suspended to the pillar by my stand, in the hope that his serene highness's round good-humoured counteance would attract a purchaser. Curiosity it certainly did attract, and that of a very troublesome kind; for a near-sighted inquisitive little man must needs pull it down to enjoy a closer view, and then, perceiving that I observed his proceeding, begged to apologise for the michief he had done. I assumed that it was his intention to purchase the print, but he appeared quite alarmed at the suppo

sition, and protesting "that he had no such thought, that he hated all German princes," threw the unlucky print over my stand, and made off into the crowd.

The band in the gallery now began to thunder "God save the king." This was a farewell salute to the company. The business of the day was over.

The ladies who had kept stands in the Egyptian Hall came to the receipt of customs to render up their accounts. I received many compliments on the results of my day's work, but it was out of my power to make proper acknowledgments, I had taken a great deal of money for the charity; but I had lost my voice in its services, and for three days afterwards, could not speak in a higher key than a whisper.”

"Chambers' Edinburgh Journal.”

THE SPLENDID ANNUAL.

BY THEODORE HOOK.

LITERATURE, even in this literary age, is not the ordinary pursnit of the citizens of London, although every merchant is necessarily a man of letters, and underwriters are as a common as cucumbers. Notwithstanding, however, my being a citizen, I am tempted to disclose the miseries and misfortunes of my life in these pages, because having heard the "ANNIVERSARY" called a splendid annual, I hope for sympathy from its readers, seeing that I have been a "splendid annual" myself.

My name is Scropps--I am an Alderman-I was Sheriff-I have been Lord Mayor-and the three great eras of my existence were the year of my shrievalty, the year of my mayoralty, and the year after it. Until I had passed through this ordeal I had no conception of the extremes of happiness and wretchedness to which a human being may be carried, nor ever believed that society presented to its members, an eminence so exalted as that which I once touched, or imagined a fall so great as that which I experienced.

I came originally from that place to which persons of bad character are said to be sent-I mean Coventry, where my father for many years contributed his share to the success of parliamentary candidates, the happiness of new married couples, and even the gratification of ambitious courtiers, by taking part in the manufacture of ribbons for election cockades, wedding favours, and cordons of chivalry; but trade failed, and, like his betters, he became bankrupt, but, unlike his betters, without any consequent advantage to himself; and I, at the age of fifteen, was thrown upon the world with nothing but a strong constitution, a moderate education, and fifteen shillings and eleven peuce three farthings in my pocket.

With these qualifications I started from my native town on a pedestrian excursion to London; and although I fell into none of those romantic adventures of which I had read at school, I met with more kindness than the world generally gets credit for, and on the fourth day after my departure, having slept soundly, if not magnificently, every night, and eaten with an appetite which my mode of travelling was admirably calculated to stimulate, reached the great metropolis, having preserved of my patrimony, no less a sum than nine shillings and seven pence.

The bells of one of the churches in the city were ringing merrily as I descended the heights of Islington; and were it not that my patronymic Scropps never could, under the most improved system of campanology, be jingled into any thing harmonious, I have no doubt I, like my great predecessor Whittington, might have heard in that peal a prediction of my future exaltation; certain it is I did not; and, wearied with my journey, I took up my lodging for the night at a very humble house near Smithfield, to which I had been kindly recommended by the driver of a return postchaise, of whose liberal offer of the moiety of his bar to town I had availed myself at Barnet.

As it is not my intention to deduce a moral from my progress in the world at this period of my life, I need not here dilate upon the good policy of honesty, or the advantages of temperance and perseverance, by which I worked my way upwards, until after meriting the

confidence of an excellent master, I found myself en joying it fully. To his business I succeeded at his death, having several years before, with his sanction, married a young and deserving woman, about my own age, of whose prudence and skill in household matters I had long had a daily experience. In the subordinate character of his sole domestic servant, in which she figured when I first knew her, she had but few opportu nities of displaying her intellectual qualities, but when she rose in the world, and felt the cheering influence of prosperity, her mind, like a balloon soaring into regions where the bright sun beams on it, expanded, and she became, as she remains, the kind unsophisticated partner of my sorrows and my pleasures, the friend of my heart, and the guiding star of my destinies.

To be brief, Providence blessed my efforts aud increased my means; I became a wholesale dealer in every thing, from barrels of gunpowder down to pickled herrings ; in the civic acceptation of the word I was a merchant, amongst the vulgar I am called a drysalter. I accumulated wealth; with my fortune my family also grew, and one male Scropps, and four female ditto, grace my board at least once in every week; for I hold it an article of faith to have a sirloin of roasted beef upon my table on Sundays, and all my children round me to partake of it: this may be prejudice-no matter so long as he could afford it, my poor father did so before me; I plead that precedent and am not ashamed of the custom.

Passing over the minor gradations of my life, the removal from one residence to another, the enlargement of this warehouse, the rebuilding of that, the anxiety of a canvass for common council man, activity in the company of which I am liveryman, inquest, and vestries, and ward meetings, and all the other pleasing toils to which an active citizen is subject, let us come at once to the first marked epoch of my life-the year of my Shrievalty. The announcement of my nomination and election filled Mrs. S. with delight; and when I took mv children to Great Queen Street, Lincoln's Inn Fields, to look at the gay chariot brushing up for me, I confess I felt proud and happy to be able to show my progeny the arms of London, those of the Spectacle Makers company, and those of the Scroppses (recently found at a trivial expense) all figuring upon the same pannels. They looked magnificent upon the pea-green ground, and the wheels, "white picked out crimson," looked so chaste, and the hammercloth, and the fringe, and the festoons, and the Scropp's crests all looked so rich, and the silk linings and white tassels, and the squabs and the yellow cushions and the crimson carpet looked so comfortable, that, I stood contemplating the equipage, I said to myself, "What have I done to deserve this?-0 that my poor father were alive to see his boy Jack going down to Westminster, to chop sticks and count hobnails, in a carriage like this!" My children were like mad things and in the afternoon, when I put on my first new brown court suit (lined, like my chariot, with white silk) and fitted up with cut steel buttons, just to try the effect, it all appeared like a dream; the sword, which I tried on, every night for half an hour after I went up to bed, to practise walking with it, was very inconvenient at first; but use is second nature; and so by rehearsing and rehearsing I made myself perfect before that auspicious day when Sheriff's flourish and geese prevails-namely, the twenty-ninth of September.