gave. However apparently slight it might be, were it but a cross word, or look,-I never felt at ease till I had taken vengeance for it; nor was any labour too severe, or any plan too complicated, provided I saw the chance of obtaining my end by enduring the one, and acting upon the other.

"I will give but one specimen of myself in my character of a revenger of wrongs, whilst I was at school.One of my companions, my favourite companion for the time, played off upon me, on a particular occasion, some trifling practical joke. It raised a laugh against me, and I burned to chastise him for it. To beat him was not in my power, for he was older and stronger, and a better master of the pugilistic art than I. To repay him in kind would not satisfy me. I knew that he would not feel as I felt, were he put in ever so ridiculous a light, but would probably laugh at the circumstance as readily as those about him. What I desired was to give him positive pain; and I succeeded. He had a favourite dog, a white terrier, to which he was strongly attached. The animal used to go with us when we were out rabbitshooting; and the boy was naturally proud of its good nose, and great activity. I watched my opportunity one day, and pretending to mistake it for a rabbit, I shot it dead; my revenge was ample.

"In like manner, with respect to caprice, I may observe, that I never loved any of my companions beyond

the space of a few weeks, or, at most, a few months. The consequence is, that I never have had, and never expect to have, one friend. Of reptiles who called themselves such, I have known many; but whenever an acquaintance has done me a favour, or exhibited a superiority over me in any respect, I have invariably quarrelled with him. Of all feelings, that of being under an obligation to another man, is to me most insupportable.

"With these dispositions, and in the course of acting which they were calculated to produce, my boyhood and youth were spent. I left school for college, detested by all who knew me, and cordially detesting them in return; and I passed through the usual academical career without forming a single connexion which has survived

it. It was then the fashion to travel. I followed that fashion, and travelled too; but my tutor and I quarrelled before half our tour was completed, and I left him. I returned home, determined to live for myself alone at the family mansion in Rutlandshire.

"Having formed this prudent resolution, I endeavoured to acquire a decided taste for field-sports. I kept hounds, and hunted, or affected to hunt them myself. I invited all my neighbours to come and see me; pretended to be pleased when the field was full, and the sportsmen adjourned to my house; but, somehow or another, they and I fell out. Our quarrels too were generally about circumstances which no human being would have quarrelled about, except myself. One man, for example, was better mounted than I; I was desirous of purchasing his horse, and he would not sell it. We never spoke again. Another rode better, and took the lead of me. I cursed him cordially, and so our acquaintance ended.— Thus it was, that, at the age of fourand-twenty, and after spending little more than two years at the family mansion, I found my table absolutely deserted, except when the village apothecary found it convenient to eat my venison, and drink my claret. Even the parson was too proud, or too rightminded, call it which you will, to put up with my freaks and humours; and he ceased to be my guest, though there was no man in the county with whom I was more desirous of continuing on a friendly footing.

"When I say this, do not suppose for a moment that I courted the rector's society from any feeling of respect either for his character or talents. Both were undoubtedly excellent; indeed, if merit were rewarded as it ought to be, he never would have remained so long as he did upon that living. But what were the man's character and talents to me? Nothing, or worse than nothing; inasmuch, as I never heard him praised without suspecting that the design of his laudator was to pass censure upon myself. By no means. The chances are, that I should have liked him better had he been a profligate; for in truth, it was on account of his daughter, a lovely and a gentle creature. Well, well, let that pass.

"I say, that the rector of my parish, whom, for the sake of perspicuity, I shall call Travers, had a daughter. Oh such a daughter! When I came to reside at Claremont, she had barely completed her seventeenth year. Sir, you never beheld the picture of an angel so beautiful, you never will be hold a real angel (if there be such things), worthy to stand a comparison with her, and her mind, and heart, and disposition; there exists not her fellow throughout the universe. I loved her madly; but my love for her, like my love for everything else, was purely selfish. Judging of her from the specimens of her sex which had heretofore crossed me, I dreamed that it would be no difficult matter to obtain her on my own terms; so I laboured assiduously, but with extreme caution, to accomplish her ruin. The young creature was absolutely too pure to understand me. I gained her affections,-how, I am sure that I cannot tell, but upon her morals and innate chastity I made no inroad; of course, I was too well versed in these matters to make my advances very openly, and she was far too delicate in her ideas to detect anything amiss in my proceedings.

Not so her father. The rector, though a scholar, was a man of the world, and readily saw into the motives which led me to pay attention to his daughter. He challenged me with my wickedness; and I own it with shame, I quailed beneath his indig-, nant frown. From that hour I hated, though I respected him; but our acquaintance ceased for a time, and I had no means afforded of gratifying my malice.

"To marriage I always had an insuperable objection; and to marry the daughter of a country parson would, I conceived, disgrace me for ever. Yet to continue near Lucy-to see her, as I contrived to see her, every day-to hear the silver tones of her voice, her warm protestations of continued love, notwithstanding the prohibition of her parent-to do all this, baffled, as I constantly was, in my base purposes of seduction, without so far committing myself as to propose a union, I felt to be impossible. The struggle was a desperate one, but I resolved to leave the country. I dared not trust myself with a parting interview; for I was VOL. XIX.

conscious of my own weakness, though I despised myself for it; so I desired my valet one morning to put up my wearing apparel, and throwing myself into my travelling-chariot, set out for London.

"Having now embarked, or rather having resolved to embark, in the business of a fashionable life, I was not so far guided by the caprice of the moment, as to be unaware, that if I desired to act a creditable part in it, (that is to say, if I desired to amuse myself,) it was indispensably requisite for me to lay some restraint upon my natural irritability and caprice. I made the resolution, and adhered to it. Many a pang it cost me, to smile, when I felt disposed to frown, and to hold out my fore-finger to men on whom I desired to turn my back, if I did them no more serious injury; yet I so far obtained a mastery over myself, as to be admitted into all the coteries, as well as into the best of the clubs, usually frequented by people of rank. My fortune, indeed, was known to be ample. My rent-roll stood in reality at four thousand a-year-the world set it down at ten; and what are the freaks and fancies which will not be tolerated and excused in a young man supposed to be worth ten thousand a-year? All the unmarried women were a-flutter when I came among them, whilst their mammas took good care that I should be fully informed of their many commendable qualities, and of their amiable dispositions. My daughter Fanny,' said the Countess of ' is all excellence. She is really too goodhearted, and too much the slave of delicate feelings. It was only yesterday that she was prevailed upon to subscribe one guinea a-year to the Church Missionary Society; and look here,' drawing my attention to a number of shell pin-cushions, and other gewgaws all these she made with her own hands; they are to be sold for the benefit of the children of Sunday school. Perhaps you will become a purchaser.'- Only think, mamma,' said Lady Louisa Gallop, the horse that Charles bought for me, took me clear over the bar at the highest notch this morning, in the riding-school.'"You will never have done, child,' replied mamma, 'till you meet with some serious accident. What strength of nerve she has !' continued the dowager,

T

turning to me. She is none of your delicate hot-house plants. Dear creature! what a misery it is for her to be cooped up in town, when all her wishes point to a country life. You are fond of field sports, I think, Mr St Clair ?' Thus was I waylaid at every turn. Did I express my approbation of this or that habit, it was exactly the thing of which Lady Fanny, or Lady Louisa, approved. Did I abhor this or the other mode of proceeding, the young ladies abhorred it also. But all would not do. I looked at these minions of fashion, as an ordinary spectator looks at the birds or butterflies in a museum -I never felt that they could have had one spark of life in them.

"Of this silly mode of living, I soon began to grow tired. My thoughts were eternally wandering into Rutlandshire-to the little drawing-room in the Rectory-and to Lucy, as she has often sat at her instrument, and sung to me like a seraph. A thousand times did I resolve not to suffer pride to stand in the way of my happiness, but to hurry back, confess my errors to her father, and make a tender of my hand and fortune. But then the idea of being triumphed over by a poor country clergyman-of sitting and whining before one so far beneath me in rank and station-this was gall and wormwood to me-I could not brook it. No,' said I, 'I will never marry -at least I will never marry, except to advance me in circumstances, or to add to my dignity.'

"Excitement became now the sole object of my search. Drinking was then in fashion, but I had no taste for it. Intrigues, operas, masquerades, all palled upon me. I ran the round of them till they ceased to affect me, and I was disgusted. Play was my next resource. The dice-box was seldom out of my hand; and to the honour of hazard be it spoken, for almost an entire season it continued to engross my attention. Like other amateur gamblers, I was, it is true, more frequently the loser than the winner; but that circumstance made no impression upon me. I played on till my ready money became exhausted-I raised several large sums on life annuities; and I found myself, towards the close of three months, called, in fashionable parlance, the winter' a poorer man by full two thousand

pounds per annum, than I had been on my first arrival in London.

"About this time, when even the gaming-table was beginning to lose its influence over me, it chanced that, to kill an hour one morning, I strolled into the British Gallery. I was gazing, or pretending to gaze, at one of the Cartoons which hung at the extremity of apartment No. 2, when my ears actually tingled, and my pulse ceased to beat, at the sound of a sweet voice, to which, for some time back, I had listened only in my dreams. How beautiful,' said the speaker. These were the only words uttered, but the tone of utterance was not to be mistaken. I turned round, and beheld Lucy, leaning upon the arm of her father. Our eyes met. A deadly paleness came over her countenance, and fearing that she was about to fall, I sprang towards her, and caught her in my arms. A scene, of course, followed. The Dowager Lady Twaddle, happening to stand in the way, received a push which drove her back upon Lord Fiddlestick, who trod upon the gouty toe of Sir John Callipash, who roared aloud with agony. The company were all in motion in an instant, crowding about us, like moths about a candle; and Lucy, who might perhaps have recovered the agitation produced by this unexpected meeting, overcome with shame and terror, fainted. This was not a time to regard trifles, and Dr Travers himself made no opposition whilst I bore her through the throng, towards the stairs. My carriage was at the door; in it I placed her, and her father taking a seat on one side, whilst I sat on the other, I requested to know whither the coachman should drive. To Brunswick Square,' replied he. Our destination was soon reached, and Lucy had regained her senses before the carriage stopped.

"It was now, for the first time, that the remembrance of my last interview with the Doctor, and the peculiar circumstances under which we parted, occurred to me. As long as Lucy lay motionless upon his bosom, I could think of nothing but her, and the thoughts of her good father were manifestly occupied by the same object. We never exchanged a syllable during the drive, except when he replied to my question as to the part of the town where they lodged. Now, however, I

felt embarrassed and confused, as I had done when he formerly upbraided me with my intended villainy, and forbade me his house; whilst he too appeared to have recovered his self-command sufficiently to recall images unpleasant to himself, and unfavourable to me. I offered to accompany them up stairs into their lodgings. This the doctor prohibited. No, Mr St Clair,' said he; though I thank you for the attention just received, I cannot forget former occurrences. Learn to respect the feelings of others, as well as your own. Become a good member of society, as I fear you have hitherto been a bad one, and then welcome. But till then, farewell!' I slunk back into the carriage, and drove home in a state of mind utterly incapable of description.

"The sight of Lucy, particularly under existing circumstances, at once renewed the passion which I had striven, during many months, to smother. Like other fires, which have for a time been covered over, it burst forth again with increasing violence, and all further attempts to oppose it I felt to be useless. The contest between inclination and pride was at an end. To live without Lucy was impossible-to obtain her, it would at least be necessary to seek her upon honourable terms. I resolved to do so. Nay, I went farther than this-I doubted whether I had not been hitherto acting upon a wrong principle, and whether it would not conduce more to my own comfort, were I in some degree to study the comfort and wishes of my neighbours. I had tried every other road to happiness without success-I determined now to make the experiment, whether I might not be made happy myself, by dispensing happiness to others. With this view-a good feeling at work within me-I sat down to address the doctor. I acknowledged my past misconductI entreated him to forgive and forget it -I assured him of my unalterable attachment to his daughter, and my determination to make myself, if possible, worthy of her-I even went so far in the paroxysm of virtuous enthusiasm, as to beg that he would become my guide and director in all my concerns, promising to act in every matter in obedience to his wishes. Having sealed this letter, I dispatched it with my servant, and waited the result in all the misery which an impatient man

endures, whilst anything materially affecting his future welfare hangs in doubt.

"My man returned in a couple of hours with a note from Dr Travers. It was short, dignified, but not unkind. It expressed the satisfaction of the writer at the promises made by me, but it gave no immediate sanction to my suit. "To conceal from you, that Lucy's affections are gained, would," continued the billet, "be impossible; but this I am proud to say of my daughter, that she will never give her hand to any man of whom her father docs not approve. In your case I am willing to believe as much as in the case of other men ; but till I see some evidence that you can act as well as protest, I must still require you to abstain from visiting or holding any intercourse with my child.' I cursed the old man's suspicious temper, and tore his letter into fragments; how I refrained from rushing forth again into my former vicious habits is more than I can tell.

"It has been my invariable practice through life, to act upon the spur of the moment, according as whim, or rather destiny, directed. I had engaged myself to dine with a party of gambling friends this day, and had resolved when I rose in the morning to return from the meeting either a ruined or a recovered man. Now I had neither spirit nor inclination to fulfil that engagement. On the contrary, I ordered the travelling chariot to be got ready, and in an hour after the receipt of the doctor's communication, was on my way into the country. My reasoning was thus :

"The doctor and Lucy will, without doubt, return home as soon as she is able to travel. I am still forbidden to call upon them; and yet I know that if I remain in town I shall not be able to attend to the prohibition. But a breach of it may lead to the worst consequences, and therefore it is better, even viewing the matter thus, to fly from temptation. Again, should the doctor be informed of my sudden departure, it will doubtless act favourably for me. He will believe that my protestations were sincere, and that I really have abandoned for ever the haunts of vice, with the view of carrying my good resolutions into practice. Besides, a thousand circumstances were likely to operate in my favour in the

country, which could hardly be expected to occur in town,-and let me do justice to myself, I was then serious in my design of acquiring other and better habits. Smile if you will here, but it is true. I actually felt at that time remorse, deep remorse, for my past misdeeds. I was actually eager to begin my new course of living, indeed, a gentleman of your cloth, to whom in epistolary correspondence I opened my mind, assured me, that I had experienced the new birth. My correspondent was a pupil of Mr Simeon, and an intimate acquaintance of the Laureate.

"Well, I returned to the country. I found all things as lonely and comfortless as they had been when I left it; I determined that they should be otherwise. My first directions to the house steward were, that a huge cauldron of good broth should be made ready every Tuesday and Saturday, and given to the poor. I caused a large portion of the village church to be new-pewed at my own expense, and presented the altar with a new covering, the desk and pulpit with new cushions. I visited the school; put my name down as a subscriber to double the amount formerly given; gave directions that each of the boys should be supplied with a cap and gaberdine, and each of the girls with a frock and bonnet, at my cost. I attended one or two parish meetings; looked narrowly into the accounts of the overseer; ordered relief (for no one presumed to contradict my wishes) to several paupers who had been previously refused, and spoke largely of the necessity under which we all lay of alleviating each other's distresses. Several poachers were brought before me as a justice of the peace; I reprimanded them severely; but as the crime had been committed on my own lands, I did no more. I dismissed them, and desired that they would never poach again. In a word, the change wrought in my behaviour and notions astonished all men. I was now talked of as the good squire, as the very pattern and model of a country gentleman; all this occurred previous to the return of the

rector.

"From the little which I have already said of Dr Travers's temper and ideas, you will readily believe that he suffered me not to continue long in doubt as to the satisfaction which my pre

sent conduct gave him. He waited upon me a few days after he had resumed his parochial labours, and spoke to me more as a parent is wont to speak to his son, than a village pastor to his next neighbour. I was deeply affected. The perfect independence of manner-the more than independence-the decided superiority which a consciousness of rectitude always sheds over a man's external actions, shone prominently forth in the good doctor's deportment, and I felt, and acknowledged it; ay, and with little, very little of the bitterness with which I had been accustomed to feel it in other days. We became intimate friends. My past errors were blotted out; I was admitted at all seasons to the rectory, and in three months after the commencement of my reformation, was rewarded with the hand of Lucy.

"If you or any other individual can explain whence it arose, that I was hardly put in possession of the prize for which I had so long sighed, ere it began to lose its value in my eyes, I will freely admit that men are not over-ruled in their deeds and wills by an irresistible fate. That I ever ceased to love Lucy-I say not. Far from it. I doated upon her ever, ever; I doat upon her memory now-I mean that I abhor and execrate myself for my behaviour towards her. But what then? We had been married little more than six weeks, when I began to see a thousand things in her general demeanour of which I could not approve. Sometimes she was a great deal too affectionate towards myself,-it was silly-nay it produced a suspicion that it could not be real. I checked it, and checked it rudely. At other times she was too cold and distant; I more than once caught her weeping. I hated tears, and I told her so. Then her unwearied attention to the poor and to the schools disgusted me. I became gloomy, morose, irritable. At last I determined to return again into public life. Ambition was now the idol of my worship. I resolved to shine in Parliament, and for this purpose I bargained for a seat, as the representative of a neighbouring borough, at the trifling cost of seven thousand pounds.

"My gentle Lucy endeavoured once, and only once, to divert me from my scheme. As a matter of course, I imputed her opposition to the worst motives, and in truth, had my mind not