weaker and weaker, and her back almost broken, she goes to pieces in a way that seems at the time almost unaccountable, and a pretty sight is the beach next day with the bodies of yourself and crew, without a watch in one of your fobs, for every time-keeper that was in the ship, is now ticking away at the bed-heads of honest and industrious men, living a mile or two up the country.

Nothing can be imagined much worse than this; yet this is nuts to being in a bad sailer when breaking the line. A fire is poured into you from every ship you crawl snail-like by, till you get apparently water-logged in among three or four first-raters, who keep raking you during the rest of the engagement, which probably terminates about sunset, it being now one minute Post Meridian. We do not wonder, therefore, at the universal predilection for the Gee; there being another blessing attending her long leg and a short one, which our heroism has hitherto prevented us from alluding to, namely, that if you are once to windward of an enemy who shows too many teeth in his muzzle, you can laugh in his face, with a reef perhaps in your mainsail, and should you choose to shake it out, why you run him hull down in an hour or two, and falling in with your consort from whom you had parted in a gale, you put about upon the rascal and two together bring him into an English port. That's the Gee.

But now for our third extract.

"A GALLEY STORY.

"I tells you what a-tis-as often I told you afore-what you loses on one tack, you gains on the t'other. Overhaul both sides o' the business-tarn in just 'end for end;' and in spite o' your shoregoing, know-nothing growlers, you'll find a man-o'-war's berth's not so bad, after all.

"You may talk o' the hardships of pressing, your man-hunting, and the likes of such lubberly prate; but if there's never no ent'ring, how the h-ll can you help it? Men-o'war must be mann'd, as well as your marchanmen. Marchanmen must have their regular convoys; for if they haven't, you know, then there's a stopper over all upon trade; so, take the consarn how you will, by or large,' there's not a King's- Bencher among you can mend it. Bear up for Blackwallship aboard of an Ingee-man, and see how

you'll be badgered about by a set o' your boheaing-hysun-mundungo-built beggars. Get hurt in their sarvice-lose a finger or fin by the chime of a cask in the hold, or fall from aloft, and fracture your pate, then see where's your pension or smart. I'm none o' your arguficators-none o' your long-winded lawyers, like Paddy Quin the sweeper, or Collins the captain o' the head;' but d-n it, you know, there's never no working to wind'ard of truth.

"There's not a chap in the barkyno, not a fellow afloat in the fleet, has felt more o' the roughs and the smooths o' the service nor I. I was prest-desarted, and desarvedly punished; and bere I am, " happy-go-lucky,' and as

hearty as ever. 'Tisn't often I spins you a yarn, but, just to set you to rights, I'll give you a twist; so here's heave with

the winch.

it's exactly-let's see exactly thirteen "Well, you must first of all know, years, come the third of November, since first I was prest by the Wengeance's cut

ter.

The ship was fitting at Spithead— ay, and a snug little barky she was. There wasn't a faster seventy-four in the sarvice she was just like a frigate in a fleet, and kept always to wind'ard on the Admiral's beam, 'kase there was never no keeping her astern in her station. The Captain was one o' your thoro'-bred tars, ay, and a sailor's friend to the mast. He'd an eye like a hawk. He never went out o' the ship he didn't see something amiss-either a to'-sail-sheet, a stay-sail, halliard not properly tant, or a yard not square by the lifts. He led the boatswain the devil's own life, and well he desarved it; for, d-n the fellow, he was the only bad-un aboard. He was the rummest-looking chap you ever sot eye on. Though he stood on his pins like the figure of five capsized, he nevertheless was as taunt as a topmast. There was his head, too, all of a hoo-chin topping to port-a thorough-put in his starboard eye--and his mouth all awry fromclue to ear-ring.'

"Well, howsomever, as soon as, I may say, I was shipped-as I took both helm and lead-I was put on the folk'sel

at once.

"Soon after, we sailed for the Baltic, and as I bevelled it aboard very well with all hands-and moreover a somet-of-asort of a faucy-man with the First Leaftennant I was clapt in the barge-ay, and I takes it, had oft'ner the slinging of the Captain's cot nor his coxen.

"Well, you know, for more nor five nor six months, everything was going on

as gay as a goose in a gutter, when, coming back to Spithead from a cruise, who should come off to the ship but the postman, fetching me a lubberly letter from home, what fixes my fate. For, you see, the very dientical day that I gets it -as the barge, under charge of a bit of a boy, went to wait for the Captain at Sally-port steps (the devil coming into my head,) no sooner she grazes the ground than out I jumps, slap in the surf, and hard-up for the back o' the point.

"Well, there was the younker, singing out like a soger, and cracking on everything 'low-and-aloft to come up with the chase-when I drops him astarn-whips in a wherry, and over in in a jiffy to Gossey.1

"Well, the first thing in course I does, was to make for old Moses' slopshop, and search for a suit of shore-going togs. There I was, overhauling rig after rig, just as fickle as a flaw on the sarfis; till I fixes at last on a white linen shirt, with a flying-jib-frill, and throat seazeing' complete-a pair of gaff-to'sailboots, and tautfitting breeks-a black long-tailed coat, towing over my taffel with a sky-scraper cape--and one o' your flush-built waistcoats, with hanging-ports on the pockets, when docking my tail, and dowsing my whiskers close by the boards. powders my pate, and claps on a broad-brimm'd chopper clean over all.

"Well, as soon as I was reg'larly a taunto-everything taut fore-and-aft, and yards squared with Moses-for you see I'd a Newland for ten in the letter-I just takes a bit of an overhaul squint in the glass; then glancing at Moses, who was looking out as sharp as a shovelnose sherk for a Guineaman, Moses,' says I, I'm d-d, by the cut o' my jib, but I'll pass for a parson!-Tip us your daddle,' says I never say die and scud like a mugen, and book us a berth in the mail.' Well, off he flies-ay, as fast as if the d-l was in his wake with a' double piece of pork,' and clinches a place in a crack. Thinks I to myself, this is running the rig-it'll gee very well if it doesn't get wind in the barracks for you see, just at that time, the sogers were looking out sharp for their 'straggling money.' Howsomever, you know, as the coach didn't weigh until eight, there I was, brought up in Moses' coalhole, just like a collier in the 'LowerHope,' waiting for the turn o' the tide.

2

1 Gossey-Gosport.

6

-n your

Well, at last I weighs, with Moses as pilot, when, after backing and filling,' and boxing about every lane, what led to the coach, we comes alongside her just as she claps on her canvass. • Yé hoye, there, coachee,' says I, 'what! deyes, forget your freight;' for you see I was shaking a cloth in the wind.' 'Is that your respect for the church?' says I. Come down from aloft and let me aboard.' says I, or I'll break every lubberly bone in your body.' Well, the words was scarce out o' my mouth, when, just as I was stepping into the cabin o' the coach, what the d-1 does I feel but a grip by the scruff o' the neck! There I was, all-a back,-boned by the Lord, by the master-'t-arms, and a man-hunting perty o' marines. Moses, you know, was off like a shot; and, as I couldn't make play in my togs, or palaver any o' the passengers to lend me a fist, in course I'd to strike to the party.

"Well, away went the coach-coachee cracking his whip and his joke, as he went laughing along at a fellow's misfortune. But, d-n it, the worst was to come, for being taken aback in the coach was a trifle to being taken aboard in the clergyman's rig. No sooner, next morn, you know, nor I comes alongside in the cutter, but there was a regular spree fore-and-aft :- Who've we here?' says the first leaftennant-(clapping on one o' your half-and-half-laughs and purser's grins, as he stood on the gangway, looking down in the boat). What!' says he:-'d-n-it! a methody parson ?''send a hauling-line down for the lubber.'-Going on after that sort o' fashion, and keeping up a frolicksome fire on a fellow, what was a d-d sight more galling, you know, nor a regular raking.

"Well, howsomever, to shorten the matter after I comes up, as down in the mouth as a midshipman's dough-boy, I was clapt into limbo, togs and all, as I stood, till the skipper comes off after dinner. There he was (as soon as I came aft, and brought up afore him), trying to stopper a smile on his mug and clap on a grave-digger's grin; when, at last, says he, coming for'ard to face me,- Well, my man, what 'ave you to say for yourself?' says he. Nothing, sir,' says I.'No?' says he, indeed, you're the last man in the ship I thought would have run. Howsomever,' says he,' I'm sorry it happens to be you, 'kase, as I must make a sample of some-un, the only

course I can take is to try you by a regular court-martial.'' I hope not, sir,' says I; rather you'd punish me aboard, i' you please.'-Howsomever, you know, there was never no use in palavering, for his mind was made up; and he was as good as his word, for, as he never broke it with no man, by the return o' post I was ordered for trial.

1

"Well, you know, just as I was rigged, and ready for the 'fray the morn o' the trial, and taking a bit of a squint out o' the after-gunroom-port, off goes a gun 'board the Billy, as the bell strikes eight. Thinks I to myself, come what will, Mr Sam, they can't say you havn't made a bit of a noise in the world; for, you see, 'twas the Billy repeating the court-martial signal aboard the Gladiator in the harbour.

"There was man the pinnace,' and send me aboard her, just like a lord o' the land, with the second leaftennant, a midshipman, the master-'t-arm, three jolly marines, with belts and bagnets shipped, two sitting aside in the starnsheets abaft, and one in the bow facing aft, just like a figure-head shipped the wrong way.

2

"Well, as soon as I gets aboard the Gladiator, with her Jack at the peak, only waiting for the members to muster, I was clapt under the charge of a chap as they calls the proviky-martial.3

"There was the devil to pay, and no pitch hot!'-piping the side for the skippers, and the guard presenting arms to them as fast as they came off in their barges. I never seed so many swabs on a deck in my day.

"Howsomever, as the bell strikes two,5 down they dives, to take their stations at the court-martial table in the cabin. Well, as soon as they was ready to open their fire, they rings a bell, when in I comes, under reg'lar convoy of two armed craft (for there was a royal, with a bagnet in his fist, on my larboard beam), and the proviky-martial, rigged out in a cockedhat athwart ship, with a sword drawn over his shoulder, stuck on my starboard, as a stiff as midshipman.

"The commodore 6 o' the court was moored at the top o' the table, the rest o' the skippers facing each other in two regular lines, in the order o' battle; and a little lawyer-looking chap, with a face Aike a bladder hauled over a wig-block,

as busy as a devil in a gale o' wind, overhauling a parcel o' papers, below at the bottom.

"Well, as soon as this rum-looking fellow in black (the judge of advice, as they called him) was ready to lay down the law, up the whole on 'em gets, Bible in-hand, and tarns-to to swear (muttering together like a parcel of methody parsons,) to sarve out justice alike, both to man and to messmate.

8

"There was the skipper, standing in the commodore's wake (for as he was parsecutor, you see, he'd to reg'larly stand to what he said;) and nobly the poor fellow behaved, for never a question he asked more of a witness nor was necessary to clinch the consarn. Well, you know, as I was going to leeward as fast as a hay-stack afloat, I takes the advice of one o' the captains, and axes no more o' your traverse-sailing 9 questions; for, d-n it, you see, they did me more harm nor enough. So, as soon as the skipper's palaver was over, there was, 'pall the capstern,' and clear the court, till the judge of advice draws up a paper for a fellow, throwing karector and all upon the mercy o' the court. Well, you know, as soon as he reads it aloud, and both the first leaftennant and skipper comed for'ard to say a few words in my favour, there was tarn-out again for a bend, till they settles the sentence; when in I comes, to hear, as I thought, my unfort'nate fate.

the

"As soon as I enters the cabin, and sees the commodore and captains o'the court, looking as fierce and as black as the d-l in a blaze, every man on 'em with their gold-laced scrapers reg'larly shipped, some athwart ship,' and some 'fore-and-aft,' says I to myself, game's all up with you, Sam!'-that's the yard-arm signal, as sure as a gun !—(for, you see, 'twas only a fortnight afore I was prest, I happened to put into Old Baileybay, as the judge was clapping on his cap to condemn an unfortunate fellow to death ;) so, in course, I thinks this shipping of scrapers was the sim'lar signal. Howsomever, you see, I was ahead o' my reck'ning; but, instead of going round the fleet, I was sentenced to one hundred lashes aboard my own ship! No, no; none o' your court-martials for Jack! If so be as I'd a' gammoned the skipper to a' settled the score at once, and sarved

4 Swabs (cpaulets).

resident.

See NAVAL ANOMALIES.

• Cross-examination.

me out himself, I'd a'napped no more nor four dozen at the outside!"

We should like to see Mr Wilberforce's face, while reading the above extract. Mr Wilberforce, in his younger days, (we are his juniors by about a lustre,) had the most exquisite perception and power of the ludicrous of any man we ever counted the midnight chimes with over a flowing bowl. He never was a hard drinker, but "wi' just a drappie in his ee," what a boon companion among the small hours! As a mime, Mathews is a joke to him-and one of his very best things, was an imitation of a tar sporting chaplain. We fear all his mimicry at least of that kind-has been at an end ever since he first headed the Saints in St Stephen's. But although the mortal instruments have been called on for other exhibitions, the genius must still be there, asleep and snoring mayhap, but not extinct. What it must have cost such a man to keep down the laughing devil! Even now, what inward convulsions must his keen sense of the hideously absurd have inflicted on his diaphragm, when noticing the aspects of the righteous over-much elongated at love-feasts, glistening with ungodly dew, eyes upturned, and long lank black hair overshadowing their half-heavenly, half-earthly twinklings of imperfect regeneration! We defy any man to kill within him the sense of the ludicrous. It has been seen to burst forth even on the scaffold, and on the peaceful death-bed, with mahogany posts and damask curtains. Do the Saints in general keep their gravity when looking on sanctified sailors? And, pray, what do they think of Jack's pastimes, even of a more innocent complexion? Do they ever criticise him when he is dancing a hornpipe? What steps! His heels chucking his hinder-parts under the chin, then pattering along the floor with upturned toes, till he reaches the line of ladies, then whisk round, with a handy-clap on each sinewy thigh, and away back to the starting chalk-line, in a shuffling fandango! Ought all this carnal exhibition of Jack's incomparable agility to be prohibited under pain of eternal damnation? Be it so. Pray, what are to be his amusements? Every man in the fleet cannot teach a Sunday-school. Malthus won't let them all marryand the press-gang in war time plays

smash among the Methody parsons. Nothing for it, if we wish to preserve morality immaculate, and religion orthodox, but to dismantle the navy of England, and to change the first letter of the word Sailor into the subsequent one in the alphabet. Make fuel of the fleet, and convert all its sheet-anchors into iron-staunchels for Tabernacles. Let Tate and Brady supplant Dibdin, till the consummation of the ruin of the wooden-walls. Let all the canvass of the Fleet be sewed up into tents for itinerant field-preachers, and the Standard of England be struck, to float over some bawling seer prophesying the downfal of our empire of land and sea. But till then, let Jack dance his hornpipe-and Naval Sketches flourish.

We are great admirers of Mr Wilberforce now-as we were forty years ago-but although we are so, we do not on that account despise, detest, abhor, execrate the many hundred British merchants, connected as proprietors, and in other relations, with the WestIndian colonies. One half of them, at the least, are as good men and as good Christians as Mr Wilberforce-onefourth worse, and the other fourth better. We have been at some pains making this computation from a vast body of intricate data. But how the people of this island allow themselves to be led by the nose and the ears! We have, we fear, readers who will look upon the few bygone paragraphs as little less than blasphemy. But the Saints are all mere mortal men; and just ask yourselves, our dear readers-what is the price of East-India sugar? Ay, there's the rub. And finally, and to conclude,-grant that our language has been brutal, and that you as men ought to give up the Magazine-then ought not Wilberforce, Stephen, M'Aulay, and a hundred others, saints and sinners, when convicted of brutality a thousand-fold greater, not only to give up the Magazine, but the ghost?

We are rather at a loss to know why we have so unceremoniously lugged in Mr Wilberforce by the head and shoulders. But now that he is in, in for a penny in for a pound. So let us ask him one question. Good Mr Wilberforce, suppose your father had been a West Indian planter, and that you thought him, and had reason to think him, a good man: Suppose you

were yourself a West Indian planter, and although not quite so pious as you now are, still, as men go, pretty pious, and, on the whole, an honest man: Suppose farther, that you had, partly from humanity, partly from self-interest, done all you could to ameliorate the condition of your slaves, not having been able to sell

tip us a stave; see if you can put a little life in a fellow, for I'm tired of this sort of fun; this is blockading Too-long1 in earnest. Why, d-n it, 'twas only the last time the ship was in Malta, when I carried captain's portmanter ashore, I overhears a lady axing the skipper himself if it wasn't a mutinous 2 sort of life; and I am d-d if he didn't say that it was; though, had any o' we made the similar answer,

and from the evil whisperings of the old man, being unwilling to set them all free, to the beggary of yourself and family-What would you think of any person of the name of Wilberforce, or Stephen, or M'Aulay, your name being something else, who should fall foul of you with every mouth-missile he could fling, and load you with charges of robbery, cruelty, and murder? And what if you showed him some hundreds of those you were every day robbing and murdering all alive and happy, and challenged him to dance a dance, or sing a song, or sleep at a sermon, with any one of those robbed and murdered slaves, and that still he should roar out robbery and murder, and swear by all the gods, that he knew the whole black population to be daily, hourly, kicked, beaten, lashed, ravished, and put to death in lingering torments,-what, we ask, would you, Mr Williams, think of the said Mr Wilberforce? We shall wait till next month for your reply.

coppers. But it's the way of the world all over.''Well done, Blue-devil-Dick,' just the fit fellow to have sailed in that says a third, growling for ever. You're psalm-singing ship as I sarved in. Come, let's down in the waist, and I'll give you a touch of her;' when, after following them to the fore-hatchway,' he thus began: Well, you know, a'ter I ships in the William and Mary, West-Ingee-man, one o' your regular Liverpool runners, as was waiting for a wind in the Cove of Cork, I goes ashore one night, for a bit of a spree, to one o' your " Holy-ground". hops; and, just as I'd opened the ball with a blowen, and tipping the shields in a reel, in comes a larking leaftennant, with five or six lubberly lobsters, rigg'd out alike in jackets and trowsers. Well, they passes at first for some o' your regular crusers, no one never suspecting as how they was under false colours, or, moreover, a parcel of kidnapping pirates; for the first thing, you see, the leaftennant does, was to sing out a lilt of his own, and to foot it away like a regular pinter.3

"Well, you know, as he was most flush of the dibs at the time, he stands the score, and sows-up myself and the

he sends me clean out of the room a reel

ing in earnest. This was a job for the jollies to take me in tow, and lug me along them thundering cliffs to the beach; for though I was fast by the nose, I was yawing about like a ship what had broke from her sheer in a tidesway. Well, as soon as we reaches the boat, they bundles me in like a quarter of beef, and a'ter we fetches the frigate, they whips me right out like another. In course, that night, 'I'd too many cloths in the wind' to know where I was; but, as soon as I came to myself, I diskivered my fate was fixed. Well, there I was, a pressed man in the morn; Jammed like Jackson'-' hard

1 Toulon.

4 Drunk, in nautical slang.

16

3 A Portsmouth Point dancer.