Imágenes de páginas
PDF
EPUB

to blefs the Lord for something of good that seems to follow my ministry; in that I fee fome are, at least outwardly, bettered, and all the families, for any thing the elders or I can fee, have God's worship in them, and I would fain hope fome of them are in the way to Christ.

On Wednesday the 17th of July, I, going on twentyfive years of my age, married Katharine Brown, formerly mentioned, going on twenty-feven, as born Feb. 3. 1674, and baptized the 22d; providence having feen it meet for me to order the odds to be on her fide. I shall here relate fome things concerning that business. The first time I faw my wife was on March 3. 1697, that very day that I left that country. Whenever I faw her, a thought ftruck through my heart, about her being my wife; and that time, both fhe and I were in great diftrefs. We had no converfe about any thing; only I asked her how her fifter was and that was all. May 23. 1698 the had occafion to come to a place where I was. Whenever I heard fhe was come, I had a great defire to fee her; which I curbed for a while, and afterwards went and faw her; and this was the fecond time; and at this time our acquaintance was made. Aug. 24. that year, after the mat ter had been laid before the Lord, and often confidered, I propofed it. Her piety difcerned by myfelf, and attefted amply by others, her parts, humour, &c. engaged me to her. After which propofal, reflecting, I found myself as folid and compofed, my mind as calm and ferene as ever, and looked on it as a token for good. On the morrow, I propofed what trouble I might look for as a preacher of the gofpel; what the might lay her account therewith, if minded to comply with my propofal. Thereaf ter, by converfe with her, I was more and more confirmed in the thoughts of her piety, &c. On the 9th of January 1699, while I was praying about that business of my marriage, that word was brought to me, "Delight

thyfelf in the Lord, and he fhall give thee the defires "of thine heart;" Pfal. xxxvii. 3.; as was that word, Rom. viii. 28. "All things fhall work together for good

to them that love the Lord," while praying about my going to the north, which was an exercife to me at that time; and was helped to grip the promise. Jan. 30. being to write to her, I went to God, and was helped with life and fome confidence to implore his guidance as to the main thing, and as to the letter in particular. When

I arose up, remembering what croffes fome wives have proved to minifters, this fent me back to God again. Afterward I fain would have had fomething to have confirmed me in the Lord's hearing of me; but I thought I would take God's helping me to cry to him as a fign of

that.

On the 1st of February, I obferved, that when I am most heavenly in the frame of my heart, my love to her is leaft fhaken, and I am moft fatisfied in my choice; and that when I am most carnal and earthly, it is otherwife. And, on the 8th, that temptation from the world was very fevere, and I found it no eafy matter to get over it, though it is my grief. Wherefore in deep feriousness I propofed that queftion to myself, Dareft thou give over that business? I thought on it, and that word, Prov. xxxi. 30. "Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain : but a woman that feareth the Lord, the fhall be praised." I went to the Lord with it, earnestly defiring light from him; and that word came to me in prayer, and I turned it into a prayer, Matth. vi. 33. "Seek ye firft the king"dom of God, and his righteoufnefs, and all other "things fhall be added unto you." And the Lord gave me a clear commentary on that place, with refpect to that business, which I can better think than exprefs. The Lord made me clearly fee, that I had first fought the kingdom of heaven; for, as I appealed to the Lord's omniscience, unless I had difcerned the fparkles of grace in her, and had thought her acquainted with religion, I durft not have propofed fuch a thing to her. So I concluded I durft not; but would follow it as my duty, hoping other things fhould be added. Next day, finding my heart lifted up above the world, I took that nick of time to examine myself on the head forefaid, and my heart faid, Now I am well content.

On the 16th of April, this morning, efpecially in prayer, before I went to the church, I was tempted to think I had been rafh in my choice; which temptation I flighted, knowing it to be a deceit of Satan, to wear me off what I was about. I thought it no time then for me to confider whether or not, and fo rejected it; but it coft me ftruggling. However, its unfeasonable importunity difcovered the cloven foot.

April 26. I was about this time going to leave that country; and having been out in a garden with her, and

conveyed

conveyed her into the houfe thereafter, I went back to the fame place; it was in Barhill in the orchard; and there I had a fweet while of converfe with God in prayer, in a sweet hungering frame. My foul was much fatisfied in the Lord; and in that place, I will fay, I met with God, and there he spoke with me. We were together a bout three or four days at this time; and the upshot of all was, that I was made often to blefs God that ever I was acquainted with her. I understood feveral things at this and other times, that in this matter fhe had acted as a Christian, and as under influence of light from the Lord.

May 26. I was now toffed with fcruples and doubts as to my marriage. I thought on it, but found no outgate. I went to God, particularly for light in that matter, which was now overclouded, and earnestly begged it. I found in prayer my heart going out in love to Chrift, &c. as I have noted before, p. 63..

June 5. After I had been writing to her, that word, Pfal. cxxxviii. ult. "The Lord will perfect that which "concerneth me," came with fuch power as difpelled thefe doubts; and I was helped to believe that God would order things for my good in that matter. On the 12th, I examined the light I had got in that point, and had help of Durham on confcience. And I found my light in that matter, 1. was from the word, and preffed me to the thing, as agreeable to the word, and carried me on to it as duty towards God; 2. It had another kind of autho rity and stateliness with it than light affection, or paffions; it overpowered my worldly-mindednefs, difcontent, &c. and this very remarkably. And my heart bears me witnefs, that it had influence on me to humble and abafe me in the fight of God. Whence it appears, that it was my duty before; and if then, now too, feeing no new thing has occurred. Whatever affection I have to her, if my heart deceive me not, I would facrifice my inclinations to the command of God.

Feb. 22. 1700. There was a confiderable time I had not heard from my friend, which bred me much perplexity : but the Lord took that way to rebuke me for my mifmanagements. He drew me by it nearer himicif, and put me to a holy fubmiffion. And the effect of it was, I was more confirmed in the bufinefs; and when I was weaned,

and brought to ftoop to providence, he fhewed me that the fears were groundless.

March 25. I had been for fome time before this, and was ftill, under a very dead and drowfy frame of fpirit. I was fore racked with various thoughts, and had a fharp exercise of it that night, and next day especially. I therefore refolved, against Monday, to fet fome time apart for fafting and prayer, that I might get that devil caft out of my heart. So the Sabbath paffed, and I walked halting; my cafe being fo after fermon, that if my head had been to have been ftruck off, I could not have given it a name. The removal then of that fpiritual indifpofition was the chief caufe of that exercise; 2. Victory over fin; 3. Preparation for the then enfuing public faft, and particularly that I might get clear uptakings of what I was to preach; 4. Succefs in my miniftry; laftly, that I might attain to habitual chearfulnefs in the Lord. So I spent fome time this day in prayer for thefe things. The Lord in the morning began to blow upon my foul, and continued fo to do through the reft of the day I was at that work and with all willingnefs of foul I renewed and fubfcribed a perfonal covenant with God. And as of myself, so of my friend, I made a folemn refignation to the Lord. And towards the clofe of that exercife, I earnestly prayed, that if it were his will, I might have a token of his reception of both. My heart was calmed and ftrengthened in the Lord, and my mind made heavenly. I clofed the whole with finging Pfal. cxvi. 7. and downwards, and then went down and took a refreshment. The tenor of the perfonal covenant I then renewed and fubfcribed is as follows. 'I Mr THOMAS BOSTON, minifter of God's word at Simprin Forafmuchas I am in fome measure fenfible ' of my grievous, horrid, and frequent backflidings from the Lord, fince the last time I covenanted with God; and in particular, having been for fome time habitually ‹ in a dead and fleepy frame, for which caufe (among o'thers mentioned elsewhere) I fet this day apart for fafting and prayer; and finding myfelf called to renew my covenant with God, the rather to obtain the ends of this day's exercife, and to get my foul more confirmed in the Lord, for wading through the difficulties 'twixt • me and heaven, in prayer I did, and now (giving it un' der my hand) I do, adhere to all my former covenants with, and engagements to be the Lord Jefus Chrift's,

[ocr errors]

particularly

particularly that written and fubfcribed .covenant of the date Aug. 14. 1699 *;. and do now, with all my heart and foul, folemnly refign and give up myself, and all 6 my bodily and fpiritual concerns, unto Chrift; taking him with heart and foul upon thofe very terms, and no other, upon which he is offered in the gofpel; refolving, and hereby engaging, in his ftrength, to cleave to him and his truths, fo long as I live, whatever be the hazard. Likeas I have, and hereby do, folemnly give up and refign K. B. to the fame Lord Chrift, that I have given myfelf to be his for ever. And this before the Lord, the fearcher of hearts, I do with all willingnefs fubfcribe, the 25th day of March 1700 years. • T. B.'

March 26. I think I had never more perfuafion of God's accepting my renewing of covenant than that yesterday. I rejoice I have done it, when I think on it; and I am perfuaded God has accepted it; for I have had covenanted itrength fince, as well as the token aforefaid. That word was fweet to me in my ordinary laft night, If. liv. 6. "The "Lord hath called thee as a woman forfaken and grieved "in fpirit, and a wife of youth, when thou waft refused, "faith thy God."

April 23. My father, in the time of his fick nefs, had (as he had also before) urged me to put an end to that bufinefs; and then I found I was inclined not to delay it long. And another thing came immediately after, which obliged me to be at a point in that matter. This day I set myself to spend fome time in feeking light from the Lord in that point. I prayed twice, but was in no good cafe, and fo could not fall on what I aimed at. I tried it again, and after a while I got my feet faftened; the Spirit did blow on me, and the matter was laid out before the Lord; and my confcience told me, that I did fincerely defire God's determination in the cafe; which defire I faw as the fun at noon-day. The upthot of all was, to follow the conduct of providence. On the morrow, having gone to God with it again in particular, and after confidering the bufinefs, i found reafons waighty for not delaying it much longer. I alfo found I alfo found I was in better cafe for expediting it than I had thought, being then made fenfible of a mistake. Providence, even in the re

* This form is annexed to the author's Body of Divinity, vol. 3.

« AnteriorContinuar »