on my heart for my charge, and their cafe touched my heart very nearly. I came away in the strength of the Lord; and the ferenity of my mind that I enjoyed at this time was fweet to me.

July 14. This morning when I awoke, I was with God, and my foul had confidence in the Lord; yet ere I went to the church, fome wandering thoughts rushed in and marred my cafe; fo that in the firft prayer I was much deferted, and very faint both in body and mind. But be ing thus emptied of myfelf, the Lord filled my fails in all the other parts of the day's work. And betwixt fermons I had fuch felt ftrength from the Lord, that I admired and rejoiced in his love; for he really fet me on my high places; and his love at this juncture was wondrous in my eyes. So in his ftrength I went away again, and we fung Pfal. cxxxviii. 5. and downwards. I fung it with an uplifted heart, and light from the Lord: and for the 5th verfe, "Yea in the righteous ways of God," &c. though I faw little in it when I gave out the pfalm, yet when fung, O how fweet, confirming, and foul-ftrengthening was it to me, even with refpect to my bufinefs! for I faw it was the way of commanded duty. For the whole of it, I thought, if I had been at the penning of that part of that pfalm which we fung, for my prefent cafe, I would not have altered one word of it. I preached and prayed with great light and life from the Lord. At night my heart was glad, and my glory rejoiced to fpeak of Chrift. And thus was it with me when honeft J. E. came in to me, with whom I converfed with an uplifted heart. When we were going to part, I told him of what was before me; but he was an inftrument of difcouragement to me, by means of my own corruption. The good man faid particularly, If you acknowledge God in your ways, &c. This feemed to me faid with fuch an air of jealoufy, that my proud heart murmured at it; which was after matter of mourning to me. Thereafter I found my ftrength abated; but I gave myself to prayer, and wrestling with God for his prefence to go with me. As I was filling a pipe, and my heart was difcouraged in that, I found not God with me as before, I gave a glance to the Bible lying open. on the table before me, and met with that word, If. xl. 27. Why fayeft thou, O Jacob, and speakeft, O Ifrael, My "way is hid from the Lord, and my judgement is paffed "over from my God?" and finding it fo fpeaking, I

read on to the end of the chapter, where all was moft feafonable, and fuited to my cafe. So I went away im mediately to the Lord with it, cried to him, and got. ftrength to believe, that feeing I waited on God, my ftrength fhould be renewed.

July 17. I came yesterday to Barhill in the ftrength of the Lord, leaning on that promise, If. xl. ult. "They "that wait upon the Lord fhall renew their strength:

they shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run "and not be weary; and they fhall walk and not be "faint ;" and that was all I had. This day in the afternoon I withdrew from company, and fought the Lord in fecret and afterwards, before the minifter came, I went to prayer with the family and relations prefent, particularly for the Lord's bleffing with refpect to the marriage; and was much helped of the Lord. Mr Mair having come, went alone into a room, and staid some time; and I went into another alone, and fpent the time in prayer: and then the Lord was kind to my foul; he drew near to me, and faid to me, Fear not; and I came forth in the ftrength of the Lord. The action was gone about most fweetly by Mr Mair. The Lord directed him to most seafonable and pertinent exhortations, and they came with power and life. Of a truth God owned it, and it was fweet both to him and us. As for my part, my heart being touched with the finger of God, was fenfibly going forth in love to Chrift, and admiration of him, to my great comfort and fatisfaction. So we were married be

twixt eight and nine o'clock at night. Immediately after I withdrew into the room where I was before, and went to God, (it was the upper western room), and there the Lord filled my heart with joy in himself unspeakable, and loaded me with loving-kindnefs, truth, and faithfulness. Verily he made me renew my ftrength, and gave it me with palpable increafe. Verily the Lord did great things for me at that juncture as ever; and my foul was made to rejoice in him.

Thus was I by all-wife Providence yoked with my wife, with whom I have now, [1730], by the mercy of God, lived thirty years complete: A woman of great worth, whom I therefore paflionately loved, and inwardly honoured: A ftately, beautiful, and comely perfonage, truly pious, and fearing the Lord; of an evenly temper, patient in our common tribulations, and under her perfonal diftrefes:

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diftreffes: A woman of bright natural parts, an uncommon stock of prudence; of a quick and lively apprehenfion, in things the applied herself to; great presence of mind in furprising incidents; fagacious and acute in dif cerning the qualities of perfons, and therefore not eafily impofed upon; modeft and grave in her deportment, but naturally chearful; wife and affable in converfation, having a good faculty at fpeaking, and expreffing herself with affurance; endowed with a fingular dexterity in dictating of letters; being a pattern of frugality, and wife management of houfehold-affairs, therefore entirely committed to her; well fitted for, and careful of, the vir tuous education of her children; remarkably useful to the country-fide, both in the Merfe and in the Foreft, through her fkill in phyfic and furgery, which, in many inftances, a peculiar bleffing appeared to be commanded upon from heaven; and, finally, a crown to me in my public ftation and appearances. During the time we have lived together hitherto, we have paffed through a sea of trouble, as yet not feeing the fhore but afar off. I have fometimes been likely to be removed from her: fhe having had little continued health, except the first fix weeks, her death hath oftentimes ftared us in the face, and hundreds of arrows have pierced my heart on that fcore; and fometimes I have gone with a trembling heart to the pulpit, laying my account with being called out of it, to fee her expire. And now for the third part of the time we have lived together, namely, ten years complete, fhe has been under a particular racking diftrefs; and, for several of thefe years, fixed to her bed; in the which furnace, the grace of God in her hath been brightened, her parts continued to a wonder, and her beauty, which formerly was wont, upon her recoveries, to leave no veftige of the illness the had been under, doth as yet now and then thew fome veftiges of itself.

PERIOD VIII.

From my marriage, till my removal to Etterick.

AT and about the time of my marriage, it pleafed the

Lord to deal bountifully with my foul. And the Lord's day immediately following I preached at Dunning in Strathcan.

Strathern. I was habitually kept right thefe days, and the Lord was kind to me. I met with a fharp trial after fo fair a blink as I had: and while I was mufing on the causes of the fame, I found myfelf called to go to fecret prayer at a time unexpected; and within a little after, the Lord was graciously pleased to let me find he had heard me, and the difpenfation was fweet, coming as an answer of prayer. But when I came to Dunning on the Saturday's night, I found myfelf wrong, having neither heart nor hand for my work. On the Sabbath morning my indifpofition continued, fave that at family-prayer my affec tions were loofed, and I had a deep fenfe of my own vilenefs on my fpirit. In the forenoon it was neither very ill nor very well; but in the afternoon my bands were freely loofed, and I had light and life from the Lord. I preached on Pfal. xviii. 46. "The Lord liveth, and bleff"ed be my rock;" the which text I was led to, as my anchor-ground, in my new circumftances through the change of my lot. And that week we came home to Simprin, Until the 15th of Auguft, the weekly fermon was continued in the kirk; at which time, being intermitted becaufe of the harveft, it was begun again on the 7th of November in the houfe, and that in the night. And af ter that manner that exercife was managed during the remaining time of my ministry in that place.

Nov. 14. This has been a time of many troubles to me, fo that I have fometimes wondered what the Lord minded to do with me. Now I had a very sharp one, but was. quickly delivered: fo on the morrow I fpent fome time in fafting and prayer, and renewed my covenant with the Lord; and it pleafed the Lord to let out fomething of himfelf to me, fo that, reflecting on my troubles, i clearly faw the need of them, with a deal of convincing power, and my foul was made to fee God's love in them all, and from my heart I was made to fay, he had done all things well. The fruit of them is, that I have thereby feen the vanity of all things befides Chrift, and that there is no rest but in him alone, and to defire to be with him, which is best of all.

In April 1701, my dear father fickened again; and death appearing on its way, the rest of his children were fent for. They being come, he, on Sabbath the 13th of that month, after a fore tofs of fickness, efpecially after

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fermons

fermons, died that night, in the 70th year of his age, having been born in December 1631. This fharp rod the Lord had fhaken over my head that time twelve months before, for my warning. However, being laid on, it went to the quick with me. It was a heavy death to me, the fhock of which I had much ado to ftand. He was a man of a low ftature, of a fresh and lively complexion; nimble, ftrong, and vigorous; active, and given to ap plication in bufinefs; one who, in the worst of times, retained his integrity, beyond many; and, in view of death, gave comfortable evidences of eternal life to be obtained through the Lord Jefus Chrift. His body lies interred in the church-yard of Simprin, in the burial-place of the minifters there, whereof I thereby took poffeffion, and foon had more occafion for.

On the 24th of May, about two or three o'clock in the morning, my wife, after long and fore labour, brought forth her firft child, a daughter, called Katharine; having, at the holy and juft pleasure of the fovereign Former of all things, a double harelip, whereby the was rendered incapable of fucking. My wife, having a great terror of the pains of child-bearing, had beforehand laid her account with death; as fhe always, I think, did on that occafion thereafter; having, at the fame fovereign pleafure, an uncommon fhare of thefe pains, the remembrance whereof to this day makes my heart to fhrink, When I, understanding her to be delivered, and preferved, was coming towards the chamber to fee her; Mrs Dawson above mentioned meeting me, intimated to me the cafe of the child: with which my heart was struck, like a bird hot and falling from a tree. Howbeit I bore it gravely; and my afflicted wife carried the trial very christianly and wifely, after her manner. Thus it pleafed my God, to correct me for my fins; to balance my enjoyment; and to teach to acknowledge him, in the formation of children in the womb. The child being weak, was baptized by Mr Dawson the fame day; and was for a long time watched in the night, through the fummer. In that dear child's cafe, I had a fingular experience of tender love melted down in pity; as confidering her teeth set on edge through the parent's eating of the four grape.

After my father's death, his tenement in the Newton of Dunfe falling to me, by his difpofition thereof in my favour, I thereby became liable to a burden of 1000 merks

whereof