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thereafter entering on to read the prints I had on it, in order to form a judgement about it, I immediately fell on the act, whereby it was firft of all framed and impofed; and finding thereby the declared intent of the oath to be, to preferve the act inviolable on which the fecurity of the church of England depends, I was furprifed and aftonifh-ed; and, upon that fhocking difcovery, my heart was. turned to loath that oath which had before fcrupled.

From thence, what fpare time i had from vifiting of the parish, 1 spent in confidering the oath, until June 17. that our fynod met pro re nata; I having, by advice of brethren-members of the affembly for our fynod, called them together. And by the forefaid time of their meeting, I had written my thoughts on the oath, being reafons against it, on about two fheets of paper; the which are in retentis.

There the oath was difputed throughout; the unclear impugning, and the clear brethren defending it. But as the declared intent of the oath above mentioned, did not at all caft up in the reafonings of the general affembly, which could not have miffed, if it had been then known to the fcruplers; fo, as far as I could underftand, it was known to no brother of the fynod, clear or unclear, before I took the act aforefaid along with me to that their meeting. They feemed to be ftruck with it, when it was caft up in the fynod; but Mr James Ranifay aforesaid, made an answer to it, diftinguishing between the church of England as a Proteftant church, and as a church having fuch a government and worship; and admitting the intent of the oath in the first sense, but not in the fecond. This was truly ftumbling to me, but ferved to confirm me against the oath. The conduct of Providence determi ning me to procure the act as above faid, was wondrous in my eyes The Lord was pleafed to hear my prayers, in helping me, with fome meafure of freedom, to debate that bufinefs at the fynod, together with others. I was filenced, though not fatisfied, by an anfwer to the first argument, (namely, the fwearing of principles), taken from the national covenant; for on that occafion it was much improved by thofe that ufed not before to meddle much with it. It feemed plain to me, that the clear brethren were at a lofs in the reft, and truly foundered in that of the declared intent of the oath, which a certain perfon propofed, having before defired the act from me; from

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whence he understood I had it. Though they feemed to be ftruck with it, yet they gave answers to it; which much confirmed me, when I plainly faw that some were refolute to answer, when (it feemed to me) they hardly knew what to answer. I had from that time a particular regard for Mr John Gowdie minifter at Earlfton, a grave and learned man, upon the account of his candour and ingenuity, though joined with principles very contrary to mine: he owned, that the minifters, in the year 1648, would not have taken that oath, according to their principles. [And in this regard to that brother, I had been, fince that time, all along confirmed; and even in the affembly 1729, in Profeffor Simfon's affair; the man dealing plainly and candidly, according to his light; though in fuch matters, of a more public nature, he and I were ftill on oppofite fides of the queftion. He is this year, 1730, transported to Edinburgh.] I was much comforted and encouraged in the kind conduct of Providence about me at that meeting. I defired ftill to hang about the Lord's hand for further light in that matter: and I durft not say to any, what I would do in the matter.

In the vifiting of the parish, I was extremely discouraged. The miniftry of this church is like to die unlamented. I have no fympathy from any of my people, or next to none. All were clear against the oath, and they were in no care that way, but that I kept honest, and others. That was all their doubt in the matter. Nay, I found fome fcrupling to take the facrament; faying, How could they, when againft Lammas the minifters would, may be, take the oath? [N. B. In the houfe of one of these scruplers, there was fiolen flefh found fome time thereafter; and her husband being difgraced, they left the parish.]

I found myself in great danger by melancholy, and was more broken that way than ever; and unless God would help, there was no help from any other quarter. On Saturday we spent fome time in prayer, with an eye to the then state of public affairs, and the facrament. I had a weary morning of it, till the Lord refreshed me in fome measure towards the latter end of my fecret prayers.

June 29. This day the facrament was celebrated here. On the Friday before, being my day for ftudy, I had as great a preffure by my crofs as ever before. I was thereby contounded, and unfitted for any thing. However, I got through my ftudies, fuch as they were, on If. xliv. 5.

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On the Lord's day I obliged one to preach before me, (which is not my ordinary), that the people might get fomething; I being confounded and broken. Upon the whole of that work, as to myself, I thought the Lord had caft a cloud over me; and I was well fatisfied, judging that God had honoured me very much before; and if he fhould now bury me, ere I were dead, and continue that vail over me, I was content, hoping I might creep into heaven at fome back-door. And the reflection on this ease of my heart, while I lay among the duft of the Lord's feet, was my feast, for that time.

Some time before the facrament, being under conviction of guilt, I found my foul bound up, and my heart hardened; till I looked to the blood of Jefus Chrift, and turned to fee God in Chrift; and thereupon my heart was loofed and melted.

08. 21. our fynod met. Being resolved not to take the oath, I took advice at Edinburgh, when I was at the commiffion, (to which when I was going, I was in hazard of being drowned in a hole by the highway-fide, for great rains had fallen; I was pulled out by one that was with me), how to difpofe of my effects, if by any means I might keep them from becoming a prey to the government; rigid execution of the law being expected by both parties, clear and unclear. But the executing of the project was delayed till the fynod. At this meeting, the brethren clear for the oath, had concerted measures for bringing such as fhould refuse it under an engagement not to fpeak against the takers of it. I was refolved to be very tender that way, and fo have been all along to this day; looking on the expofing of them as a hinderance to the fuccefs of the gofpel: for which cause I have fuffered heavily at the hands of the people. But withal I was abfolutely against binding up myself in the matter, by confenting to any act for that end; and therefore declared against it accordingly. And, on purpose to break it, I propofed, that fince the clear brethren demanded that engagement of us unclear, on the one hand, they should, on the other hand, engage, that they would not join with the magiftrate a gainst us. And this broke the contrivance to all intents and purposes: for they could neither think meet to come under fuch an engagement to us, nor could they have confidence to infift in their project upon their fhifting it. Thus the Lord honoured me to mar this infnaring con

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trivance; which gave me ground to hope, that, notwithftanding my perfonal guilt and unholinefs, the Lord would help me to be faithful, and fome way ufeful in the time of trial. As I came home, I was made fweetly to observe, what pains the Lord had been pleafed then to take to reconcile me to the crofs, and to fweeten it to me, in a pleafant mixture of difappointments, ftraits, and outgates, in the management of my affairs: for when I came to Kelfo, I found the measures before laid down for that effect, all broken; which much perplexed me: but on that occafion I was fet on other measures thought to be more fure. I faw myself there a friendless creature; which made me folemnly take od for my friend, and lay my bufinefs over upon him; and it fucceeded. I had bufinefs with feveral perfons, as I came homeward; and they were all made favourable to me; yet ftill in a viciffitude of difappointments or temptations; fo that it was all the way, as it were, one ftep down and another up. Having been difappointed of meeting with a perfon I had butinefs with, and that twice fucceffively, I was thinking, (as I rode on my way), that although fuch disappointments were but fmall things, yet being ruled by Provi dence, they certainly had a defign; namely, to try mens patience, and waiting on the Lord; which my foul defired to do. In the very time thefe thoughts were going through my heart, the boy that was with me afked a woman, where fuch a one dwelt, a friend of that perfon's whom I want. ed. She told him; but withal added, that if we were feeking fuch a man, he was in that houfe, to which the belonged. So we met. This fmall thing thus timed, was big in my eyes. I came home with a heart reconciled, in fome meafure, to the crofs of Chrift.

By all parties nothing was expected, but a rigid execution of a very fevere law, laying non-compliers with it, befides other incapacities, under an exorbitant fine of L. 500 Sterling; which was more than all the ftipend that had ever fince I was a minifter come into my hand, by that time did amount to. However, I found myfelf obliged to go on in preaching the gofpel at my peril, to fulfil the miniftry I had received of the Lord. Herein I was confirmed and encouraged, by a declared refolution to that purpofe, of a meeting of feveral brethren at Edinburgh, in the time, I think, of the commiffion in Auguft. Thefe ftraitening circumftances obliged me to denude myself of

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all my worldly goods; that they might not fall into the hands of the government, when I fhould fall under the lafh of the law. For this caufe I difponed my tenement in Dunfe in favour of my eldest son, and expeded that matter; fo that it being fold feveral years after, he was obliged, being major, to fign the papers. I alfo made an affignation of my other goods and gear to John Currie, who came with nie my fervant to this country, and was then, I think, my precentor. [This paper I deftroyed, only the laft winter, 1729]. In these things the due forms of law were obferved, not without trouble and expence.

Mean while, during all this reeling and confufion, I had no encouragement or fympathy, or next to none, as formerly observed, from the parish; which was a great load above my burden. They feemed only to wait to see what proof of honefty would be given, or contrariwife. And their woful jealoufy, and their looking fo lightly on the matter, was a mighty difcouragement to me. However, had they been as much for, as they were againft, the oath, I durft never have, whatever had been the hazard, taken it, according to any light in which it did ever appear to me unto this day. But the truth is, the extreme hardfhip I was under from them, did much alleviate the profpect of the government's forcing me away from them, even to confinement and banishment, and this for feveral years after, wherein there was fome appearance of these things But now, for feveral years, expectation of relief that way hath been blocked up; and the Lord has seen meet to take trial of me in another, more private way.

On Oct. 26. I preached my last fermon, which, as matters then stood in law, I could preach under the protection of the government. My text fell, in my ordinary, to be Phil. iii. 8. "My Lord, for whom I have fuffered the

lofs of all things" And in my notes on that text, are to be found a few things, which, in the close of that day's work, I faid on that trying occafion.

Tuefday the 28th, being the laft day, according to the law, for taking of the oath, 1 fpent fome part of it in fecret with the Lord, endeavouring to renew my repentance, and my covenant with the Lord. I had now, fince the fynod or affembly, loft all heart and hand as to proceeding in the fermons defigned for the prefs; and having finished the fubjects of the ftates of innocence and nature, had laid the project afide. But this day the inclination to go

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