Charles Weld, who, at that time, resided at our house. then began seriously to consider upon it, though I was not, nor have I ever been, so exceedingly anxious as many who are suddenly convinced of their lost and ruined state, as abiding under the righteous penalty of God's holy law. In this state I continued, not deeply anxious, but serious, and very much interested for a long time, perhaps a year or more, reading the Bible with attention, and taking considerable enjoyment in the duties of religion.

I have had many temptations, and still continue to have them. About the end of the period I mentioned, I was tempted with unbelief of the Bible for some time, which, of course, destroyed all my enjoyments; but the Lord then, and many times since, has graciously delivered me out of all my troubles. And I trust that "he will not permit me to be tempted above that I am able, but will with all my temptations also make a way to escape, that I may be able to bear it."

I cannot tell the time when I first experienced the renewing influences of divine grace, but think there has been a spark implanted in my heart for a long time. Oh, may it never cease to shine ; but may it increase in vividness and lustre, until it shall be lost in that intense blaze of glory which shall forever illuminate the heavenly kingdom, into which we hope to "have an entrance administered.”

I have never inquired so deeply into my feelings, as I have for the past two months, and, consequently, have not known so well what they have been; but I think I can say that I have enjoyed the consolations of religion for many months past. I never before examined to see whether I had a hope in Christ, but have gone on reading the Bible with great pleasure, receiving much enjoyment from religion, and in the perusal of religious books, and also feeling a deep interest in the advancement of Christ's kingdom, and anxiety for souls. These have been, I think, my feelings for nearly a year past,

though I never had such an assurance of my own salvation, as the Lord, in his infinite mercy, has been pleased to grant unto me within a month or two.

Still, I would have none imagine that I have no doubts-for many I do have; yet I hope I can trust entirely in the merits of Christ, and on his righteousness alone. Merit of my own I feel that I have none. "All my righteousness is as filthy rags; I am altogether an unclean thing."

In regard to confessing Christ before men, I have felt it to be both a duty and privilege, though more a privilege, but one that I am entirely unworthy of. I have hesitated much concerning the performance of this duty; but the words of our Saviour, "He that loveth me, keepeth my commandments," have seemed to spur me on to obedience in this respect particularly, though I hope they would in every other. I feel that if I love him (and I trust I do), that I shall keep this as well as the rest of his commandments. I do not have quite so clear views of the character of God, as I wish to; though I hope I love him sincerely, yet I cannot, as it were, see him in my mind's eye so clearly as I can Christ. But I think I truly desire to do and suffer his will, and promote his glory above all things.

I think I have had deeper convictions of sin since I have had reason to hope, than I ever had before; and I hope I have in truth repented of, and forsaken them all. I think I have been brought to see and to feel deeply, the utter depravity and sinfulness of the human heart, and to experience that of my own; but I hope I have applied to Christ, "whose blood cleanseth from all unrighteousness," and obtained pardon and remission of sins. This it does appear to me I know, if I know anything at all of my own heart, that I do sincerely and supremely love Christ; and I am humbly persuaded, in my present mind, "that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other crea

ture, shall be able to separate me from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." I feel that in my own strength I can do nothing; but that in the strength of Christ, I shall come off conqueror, and more than conqueror.

Finally, dear brethren, pray for me, "that I may be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might; that he may perfect what is lacking in my faith;" that "I may be rooted and grounded in Christ ;" built up in him-may grow in grace, and in the knowledge and love of my Saviour; and most of all, may at last be "presented faultless before his throne, with exceeding great joy."

Hallowell, December, 1830.

NATHANIEL CHEEVER.

"Ah, how long shall I delight
In the memory of that day,
When the shades of mental night

Sudden passed away!

Long around my darkened view

Had those lingering shadows twined;
Till the gospel breaking through,

Chased them from my mind.
There was light in everything,

Everything was bathed in bliss;

Trees did wave, and birds did sing,

Full of happiness.

Beauty in the woods shone forth,

Beauty did the flowers display,
And my glorious Maker's worth
Beamed with matchless ray."

CHAPTER III.

LETTERS AND MEMORIALS OF YOUTH.

We look before and after,

And pine for what is not;

Our sincerest laughter

With some pain is fraught;

Our sweetest songs are those that tell of saddest thought.

SHELLEY.

THE materials for biography in the year 1831, are scanty, by reason of almost all the private memorials of this period-one of the most important and interesting of his whole religious life-having been unwisely destroyed, soon after reading an article by Mr. Dana in The Spirit of the Pilgrims, on the Morality of Diaries. Fearing, from some considerations therein presented, that he had been actuated by wrong motives in recording his peculiar religious experiences, in an unadvised hour he committed them to the flames. It was immediately, and ever after, a cause of deep regret.

He pined for what was not

Long and bitter was his sorrow for having destroyed

those memorials of the Lord's goodness, and of his soul's progress in the divine life. He felt that he had erred and done wrong, and that he was led by the tempter rather than by the Spirit, in annihilating those records of the Lord's dealings with his soul. The act which he lamented so much, was done at Newburyport, while he was residing there for the summer with his eldest brother, who had charge of a pulpit in that town.

The exercises recorded and destroyed, were very peculiar; but his grief in the loss of them, and the influence upon his future character and life, gave them their chief importance. The unhappiness it caused him, none could tell. The journal was not resumed again until the winter of 1831-32, when he was at home once more under the maternal roof.

A few letters are preserved, which were written in this interval. The one that follows was to his eldest brother, George, in the summer of 1830, before he made a public profession of religion. The line of reading which he pursued, especially Johnson's Lives of the Poets, which he read, marked, and inwardly digested, contributed much to form his style of composition; and this may account for a maturity in his language otherwise unnatural to his age and acquire

ments.

Hallowell, August 3, 1830.

MY DEARLY BELOVED BROTHER:

Having been for a long time deprived of the delightful pleasure of writing you, the cause which has hitherto prevented being now removed, I have determined no longer to