AUTHOR OF "ORPHEUS C. KERR PAPERS," "AVERY GLIBUN,” ETC.

UNIV. OF
CALIFORNIA

WITH ILLUSTRATIVE ANACHRONISMS BY THOMAS WORTH.

G. W. CARLETON, PUBLISHER

LONDON: S. LOW, SON, & CO. .

MDCCCLXVIII.

Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1868, by

•G E-Q : • W. ›CARLETON,

In the Clerk's Office of the District Court for the Southern District of New

York.

ROCKWELL & ROLLINS, STEREOTYPERS AND PRINTERS,

122 Washington Street, Boston.

CONTENTS.

VERBA SESQUIPEDALIA

PAGE

9

LETTER I.

Narrating a pleasing Anecdote of New Jersey; describing the friendly

Visit of an exciting Journalist to an able military Candidate for the

Presidency; noting the disinterested Organization of the "Grand

Mackerel Army of the Republic;" and giving the truly American

Song and Story with which that Organization was partly celebrated,

LETTER II.

Illustrating, by a moral Connecticut Tale, the Fallacy of that political

Inspiration which is derived from the Graves of great Men; pictur-

ing the solemn Impeachment of A. Johnson at the Bar of the

Senate, and showing the great public Demoralization ensuing

therefrom,

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37

LETTER III.

Wherein our Correspondent not only introduces a fashionable Washing-

tonian Belle, but also audaciously takes Advantage of a Delay in

Impeachment to address himself exclusively to the stylish young

Maidens of the Period,

LETTER IV.

Explaining the surprising Equanimity of a Nation under complicated

Misfortunes by the parallel Case of a great Philosopher of the

Sixth Ward; confessing the inexplicable Levity produced by the

honest Sentiments of a solid Boston Man; and celebrating the

Grand Opening of the Theatre of War with the Spectacular Drama

of Impeachment,

Introducing an impecunious but loyal Southern Cavalier; depicting a

gorgeous stage Procession in the mighty Spectacle of Impeach-

ment; reporting the unexampled and convincing inaugural Argu-

ment of Manager Butler, and the visible Consternation of nervous

Auditors thereat,

LETTER VI.

Which Attempts the sublime, but succeeds to a certain Extent only; yet

quotes favorite Passages from the prevailing Drama as they are

being simultaneously ground out, to great Applause, by "Organs"

all about the Country,

LETTER VII.

Charging the Radicals with the continued and exasperating wet

Weather; setting forth the great Wrong done to the Conservative

Kentucky Chap; repeating a Conversation in the Boxes and Scene

on the Stage of the Theatre of War; remarking the first of the

Soliloquies for the Defence; and announcing a Visit from the dire-

ful "Ku-Klux Klan,"

77

LETTER VIII.

Chanting an astonishing Lay in honor of clear Weather once more;

irreverently likening the stately Abode of Congress to a Stomach;

mentioning an attempted Speculation with Captain Samyule Sa-

mith, in real Estate, at Taikachor Court House; and sampling

Andrew Nelson's Soliloquy,

119

LETTER IX.

Being a veracious Account of the unparalleled Match against Nature by

the "American Proof-Reader" and the "Boston Marvel;" and

its inevitably tragical Termination,

LETTER X.

Moralizing upon the certain Result of Vice-Presidency; giving the

curious Epitaph of a victim of Eloquence; presenting the principal

Gems of a Guano Matinée; and recording the Enthusiasm of the

Populace over the last of the Impeachment Speeches,

130

LETTER XI.

Taking a hopeful View of the Future of American Art; affording valu-

able Hints to the coming great Historical Painter; and showing

how a sudden and unprecedented Outbreak of Morality caused a

lamentable "Hitch" in the great final Transformation Scene of the

majestic Drama of Impeachment,

LETTER XII.

Narrating the sudden Journey of our Correspondent and Others to the

South on a Mission of Reconstruction; illustrating the usual Gym-

nastic Perils of American Railroad Travel; and portraying how the

writer and Captain Villiam Brown, Eskevire, were received by a

renowned Confederacy,

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150

LETTER XIII.

Ushering in the Lady of the Chateau with all the Forms and Graces;

introducing Croquet and one of its usual Results; and recording

the direful Mistake of an unsuspecting Union Officer,

LETTER XIV.

Chronicling the arrival of P. Penruthers as a Suitor; the ancient feudal

Ceremonies thereat; and the dreadful Demeanor of the Nobility at

the ensuing Banquet,

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172

LETTER XV.

Citing an Incident of the Southern Postal Service; interpolating an

Impeachment Note from Washington, and a vague Wordsworthian

Parody; and " conservatively" touching upon the Presidential

Nomination of the last Mackerel General by a classical Convention,

LETTER XVI.

Showing how a disloyal Telegraph did pervert and mispunctuate the

Mackerel General's "Letter of Acceptance;" and spiritedly depict-

ing the great Munchausen Hunt and its lamentable Ending,

LETTER XVII.

Illustrating the tremendous extraneous Influence of large-sized Names;

and describing the most passionate and contemptuous Love Scene

ever beheld in fashionable Southern Society by a Yankee Varlet,

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