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eloquence, the two ladies looked at each other made to impress my wife with an opinion of a few minutes in silence, with an air of doubt my sagacity : for if the girls succeeded, then it and importance. At last Miss Carolina Wilc was a pious wish fulfilled; but if any thing helmina Amelia Skeggs condescended to ob- unfortunate ensued, then it might be looked serve, that the young ladies, from the opinion upon as a prophecy. All this conversation, she could form of them from so slight an ac- bowever, was only preparatory to another quaintance, seemed very fit for such employ- scheme, and indeed I dreaded as much. This
“ But a thing of this kind, madam.” was nothing less than that, as we were now to cried she, addressing my spouse, “requires a hold up our heads a little bigher in the world, thorough examination into characters, and a it would be proper to sell the colt, which was more perfect knowledge of each other. Not, grown old, at a neighbouring fair, and buy us madam,” continued she, “ that I in the least a horse that would carry single or double suspect the young ladies' virtue, prudence, and upon an occasion, and make a pretty appeardiscretion ; but there is a form in these things, ance at church, or upon a visit. This at first Madam, there is a form.”
I opposed stoutly; but it was as stoutly deMy wife approved her suspicions very much, fended. However, as I weakened, my antaobserving that she was very apt to be suspici- gonists gained strength, till at last it was reous herself; but referred ber to all the neigh- solved to part with him. bours for a character : but this our Peeress As the fair happened on the following day, I declined as unnecessary, alleging that her had intentions of going myself; but my wife cousin Thornhill's recommendation would be persuaded me that I had got a cold, and nosufficient, and upon this we rested our petition. thing could prevail upon her to mit me
from home. “ No, my dear,” said she, “our son Moses is a discreet boy, and can buy and
sell to a very good advantage ; you know all CHAPTER XII.
our great bargains are of his purchasing. He
always stands out and higgles, and actually FORTUNE SEEMS RESOLVED TO HUMBLE THE tires them till he gets a bargain.”
FAMILY OF WAKEFIELD. MORTIFICATIONS As I had some opinion of my son's pruARE OFTEN MORE PAINFUL THAN REAL CA- dence, I was willing enough to intrust him LAMITIES.
with his commission; and the next morning
1 perceived his sisters mighty busy in fitting When we returned home, the night was out Moses for the fair ; trimming his hair, dedicated to schemes of future conquest. De brushing his buckles, and cocking his bat with borah exerted much sagacity in conjecturing pins. The business of the toilet being over, which of the two girls was likely to have the we had at last the satisfaction of seeing him best place, and most opportunities of seeing mounted upon the colt, with a deal box before good company.
The only obstacle to our pre- him to bring home groceries in. He had on ferment was in obtaining the Squire's recom a coat made of that cloth they called thunder mendation; but he had already shown us too and lightning, which, though grown too short, many instances of his friendship to doubt of was much too good to be thrown away. His it now. Even in bed my wife kept up the waistcoat was of gosling green, and his sisters usual theme : “ Well, faith, my dear Charles, had tied his hair with a broad black riband. between ourselves, I think we have made an We all followed him several paces from the excellent day's work of it.”—“ Pretty well,” | door, bawling after him good luck, good luck, cried I, not knowing what to say.-" Wbat!} till we could see him no longer. only pretty well !" returned she. “ I think it He was scarcely gone, when Mr Thornbill's is very well. Suppose the girls should come butler came to congratulate us upon our good to make acquaintances of taste in town! fortune, saying, that he overheard his young This I am assured of, that London is the only master mention our names with great commenplace in the world for all manner of husbands. dation. Besides, my dear, stranger things happen every Good fortune seemed resolved not to come day: and as ladies of quality are so taken with alone. Another footman from the same family my daughters, what will not men of quality followed, with a card for my daughters, imbe ?- Entre nous, I protest I like my Lady porting that the two ladies had received such Blarney vastly, so very obliging. However, pleasing accounts from Mr Thornhill of us Miss Carolina Wilhelmina Amelia Skeggs all, that, after a few previous inquiries, they has my warm heart. But yet, when they came hoped to be perfectly satisfied. « Ay,” cried to talk of places in town, you saw at once how my wife, “ I now see it is no easy matter to I nailed them. Tell me, my dear, don't you get into the families of the great; but when think I did for my children there ?"" Ay," one once gets in, then, as Moses says, one returned I, not knowing well what to think may go to sleep.” To this piece of humour, of the matter, “ Heaven grant they may be for she intented it for wit, my daughters asboth the better for it this day three months !" sented with a loud laugh of pleasure.
In This was one of those observations I usually short, such was her satisfaction at this mes
sage, that she actually put her hand in her breast : “ here they are ; a gross of green specpocket, and gave the messenger sevenpence tacles, with silver rims and shagreen cases.”halfpenny.
“ A gross of green spectacles !” repeated my This was to be our visiting day. The next wife in a faint voice. “ And you have parted that came was Mr Burchell, who had been at with the colt, and brought us back nothing but the fair. He brought my little ones a penny a gross of green paltry spectacles !”—“ Dear worth of gingerbread each, which my wife un- mother,” cried the boy, “ why won't you listen dertook to keep for them, and give them by to reason? I had them a dead bargain, or I letters at a time. He brought my daughters should not have bought them. The silver rims also a couple of boxes, in which they might alone will sell for double the money.”—“A keep wafers, snuff
, patches, or even money, fig for the silver rims,” cried my wife in a pas. when they got it. My wife was usually fond sion : “I dare swear they won't sell for above of a weasel-skin purse, as being the most half the money at the rate of broken silver, lucky; but this by the bye. We had still a five shillings an ounce.”—“ You need be unregard for Mr Burchell, though his late rude der no uneasiness,” cried I, “ about selling the behaviour was in some measure displeasing ; rims, for they are not worth sixpence ; for I nor could we now avoid communicating our perceive they are only copper varnished over." happiness to him, and asking his advice: al “What,” cried my wife, “not silver ! the though we seldom followed advice, we were rims not silver!” “ No,” cried I, “no more silall ready enough to ask it. When he read ver than your saucepan.”—" And so," returnthe note from the two ladies, he shook his ed she, “ we have parted with the colt, and head, and observed, that an affair of this sort have only got a gross of green spectacles, with demanded the utmost circumspection.— This copper rims and shagreen cases ! A murrain air of diffidence highly displeased my wife. take such trumpery. The blockhead has been “I never doubted, Sir,” cried she,' “ your imposed upon, and should have known his readiness to be against my daughters and me. company better.” There, my dear,” cried You have more circumspection than is want-1, "you are wrong, he should not have known ed. However, I fancy when we come to ask them at all.”—“ Marry, bang the idiot,” readvice, we will apply to persons who seem to turned she, “ to bring me such stuff ; if I had have made use of it themselves.”_" Wbat. them I would throw them in the fire.” “ There ever my own conduct may have been, Madam,” again you are wrong, my dear,” cried I; “ for replied he, “is not the present question : though they be copper, we will keep them by though as I have made no use of advice my- us, as copper spectacles, you know, are better self, I should in conscience give it to those than nothing. that will.”—As I was apprehensive this an By this time the unfortunate Moses was swer might draw on a repartee, making up by undeceived. He now saw that he had been abuse what it wanted in wit, I changed the imposed upon by a prowling sharper, who obsubject, by seeming to wonder what could keep serving his figure, had marked him for an easy our son so long at the fair, as it was now al- j prey:
I therefore asked the circumstance of most night-fall.—“ Never mind our son,” cried bis deception. He sold the horse, it seems, my wife, “depend upon it he knows what he and walked the fair in search of another. A is about. I'll warrant we'll never see him sell reverend looking man brought him to a tent, his hen of a rainy day. I have seen him buy under a pretence of having one to sell. such bargains as would amaze one. I'll tell “ Here,” continued Moses, “we met another you a good story about that, that will make man, very well dressed, who desired to boryou split your sides with laughing.–But as I row twenty pounds upon these, saying that he live, yonder comes Moses, without a horse wanted money, and would dispose of them for and the box at his back.”
a tbird of their value. The first gentleman, As she spoke Moses came slowly on foot, who pretended to be my friend, whispered me and sweating under the deal box, which he had to buy them, and cautioned me not to let so strapt round his shoulders like a pedlar.- good an offer pass. I sent for Mr Flambor"Welcome, welcome, Moses : well, my boy, ough, and they talked him up as finely as they wbat have you brought us from the fair ?” did me, and so at last we were persuaded to " I have brought you myself,” cried Moses, buy the two gross between us." with a sly look, and resting the box on the dresser.“ Ab, Moses,” cried my wife, “that we know; but where is the horse ?" I have sold him,” cried Moses, for three pounds five
CHAPTER XIII. shillings and twopence."— Well done, my good boy,” returned she; “ I knew you would MR BURCHELL IS FOUND TO BE AN ENEMY ; touch them off. Between ourselves, three FOR HE HAS THE CONFIDENCE TO GIVE DP3pounds five shillings and twopence is no bad day's work.
Come let us have it then.”-“I have brought back no money,” cried Moses Our family had now made several attempts agair. “ I have laid it all out on a bargain, to be fine; but some unforeseen disaster deand here it is,” pulling out a bundle from his , molished each as soon as projected. I endea.
voured to take the advantage of every disap-, dour, and I stood neuter. His present dispointment, to improve their good sense in suasions seemed but the second part of those proportion as they were frustrated in ambi- wbich were received with so ill a grace in the tion. “ You see, my children,” cried I, “how morning. The dispute grew high, while poor little is to be got by attempts to impose upon Deborah, instead of reasoning stronger, talked the world, in coping with our betters. Such louder, and at last was obliged to take shel. as are poor, and will associate with none butter from a defeat in clamour. The conclusion the rich, are hated by those they avoid, and of her harangue, however, was highly displeasdespised by those they follow. Unequal ing to us all : she knew, she said, of some who combinations are always disadvantageous to bad their own secret reasons for what they adthe weaker side : the rich having the pleasure, vised; but, for her part, she wished such to and the poor the inconveniences that result stay away from her house for the future. from them. But come, Dick, my boy, and -“ Madam,” cried Burchell, with looks of repeat the fable that you were reading to day, great composure, which tended to inflame her for the good of the company."
more, “ as for secret reasons, you are right; I “ Once upon a time,” cried the child, “a have secret reasons, which I forbear to menGiant and a Dwarf were friends and kept to. tion, because you are not able to answer those gether. They made a bargain that they would of which I make no secret: but I find my never forsake each other, but go seek adven- visits here are become troublesome; I'll take tures. The first battle they fought was with my leave therefore now, and perhaps come two Saracens, and the Dwarf, who was very once more to take a final farewell wben I am courageous, dealt one of the champions a most quitting the country.” Thus saying he took It did the Saracen very little in- up his bat, nor could the attempts of Sophia
, jury, who lifting up his sword, fairly struck off whose looks seemed to upbraid his precipi. the poor Dwarf's. arm. He was now in a tancy, prevent his going. woeful plight; but the Giant coming to his When gone, we all regarded each other for assistance, in a short time left the two Sara. some minutes with confusion. My wife, who cens dead on the plain, and the Dwarf cut off knew herself to be the cause, strove to hide the dead man's head out of spite. They then her concern with a forced smile, and an air of travelled on to another adventure.
assurance, which I was willing to reprove : against three bloody-minded Satyrs, who were “ How, woman,” cried I to her, “ is it thus carrying away a damsel in distress. The
we treat strangers ? Is it thus we return Dwarf was not quite so fierce now as before ; their kindness ? Be assured, my dear, that but for all that struck the first blow, which these were the harshest words, and to me the was returned by another, that knocked out his most unpleasing that ever escaped your lips !" eye; but the Giant was soon up with them, -“ Why would he provoke me then ?" reand had they not fled, would certainly have plied she; “ but I know the motives of his killed them every one. They were all very advice perfectly well. He would prevent my joyful for this victory, and the damsel who was girls from going to town, that he may bave relieved fell in love with the Giant, and mar- the pleasure of my youngest daughter's comried him. They now travelled far, and farther pany here at home. But wbatever happens, than I can tell, till they met with a company she sball choose better company than such of robbers. The Giant, for the first time, low-lived fellows as he."-" Low-lived, my was foremost now; but the Dwarf was not far dear, do you call him ?" cried I; " it is very behind. The battle was stout and long possible we may mistake this man's character, Wherever the Giant came, all fell before him; for he seems upon some occasions the most but the Dwarf had like to have been killed finished gentleman I ever knew.--Tell me, more than once. At last the victory declared Sophia, my girl, has he ever given you any for the two adventurers; but the Dwarf lost secret instances of his attachment ?":_.“ His
The Dwarf was now without an arm, conversation with me, Sir,” replied my daugha leg, and an eye, while the Giant was with- ter, “has ever been sensible, modest, and out a single wound. Upon which he cried out pleasing. As to aught else, no, never. to his little companion, my little hero, this is Once, indeed, I remember to bave heard him glorious sport ! let us get one victory more, say, he never knew a woman who could find and then we shall have honour for ever. No, merit in a man that seemed poor.”_" Such, cries the Dwarf, who was by this time grown my dear,” cried I, “is the common cant of all wiser, no, I declare off; I'll fight no more: for the unfortunate or idle. But I hope you have I find in every battle that you get all the honour been taught to judge properly of such men, and rewards, but all the blows fall upon me. and that it would be even madness to expect
I was going to moralize this fable, when our happiness from one who has been so very bad attention was called off to a warm dispute be- an economist of his own. Your mother and tween my wife and Mr Burchell, upon my I have now better prospects for you. The daughters' intended expedition to town. My next winter, which you will probably spend in wife very strenuously insisted upon the advan- town, will give you opportunities of making a Lages that would result from it; Mr Burchell more prudent choice.” on the contrary, dissuaded her with great ar What Sophia’s reflections were upon this
occasion I can't pretend to determine ; but I a most hearty contempt for the poor animal was not displeased at the bottom, that we were myself, and was almost ashamed at the approach rid of a guest from whom I had much to fear. of every customer; for though I did not enOur breach of hospitality went to my con- tirely believe all the fellows told me, yet I rescience a little; but I quickly silenced that flected that the number of witnesses was a monitor by two or three specious reasons, strong presumption they were right; and St which served to satisfy and reconcile me to Gregory, upon Good Works, professes himself myself, The pain which conscience gives the to be of the same opinion. man who has already done wrong, is soon got I was in this mortifying situation, when a
Conscience is a coward, and those brother clergyman, an old acquaintance, who faults it has not strength enough to prevent, it had also business at the fair, came up, and seldom has justice enough to accuse.
shaking me by the hand, proposed adjourning to a public-house, and taking a glass of whatever we could get. I readily closed with the
offer, and entering an ale-house, we were shown CHAPTER XIV.
into a little back room, where there was only
a venerable old man, who sat wholly intent FRESH MORTIFICATIONS, OR A DEMONSTRATION over a large book, which he was reading. I THAT SEEMING CALAMITIES MAY BE REAL never in my life saw a figure that prepossessed
me more favourably. His locks of silver grey
venerably shaded his temples, and his green The journey of my daughters to town was old age seemed to be the result of health and now resolved upon, Mr Thornbill having benevolence. However, his presence did not kindly promised to inspect their conduct him interrupt our conversation ; my friend and I self
, and inform us by letter of their behaviour. discoursed on the various turns of fortune we But it was thought indispensably necessary had met; the Whistonian controversy, my last that their appearance should equal the great pamphlet, the archdeacon's reply, and the hard ness of their expectations, which could not be measure that was dealt me. But our attention done without expense. We debated therefore was in a short time taken off by the appearin full council what were the easiest methods ance of a youth, who, entering the room, reof raising money, or more properly speaking, spectfully said something softly to the old what we could most conveniently sell.
The stranger. “ Make no apologies, my child,” deliberation was soon finished; it was found said the old man, “to do good is a duty we that our remaining horse was utterly useless owe to all our fellow-creatures; take this, I for the plough, without his companion, and wish it were more ; but five pounds will relieve equally unfit for the road, as wanting an eye ; your distress, and you are welcome.” The it was therefore determined that we should modest youth shed tears of gratitude, and yet dispose of him for the purposes above men his gratitude was scarcely equal to mine. I tioned, at the neighbouring fair, and, to prevent could have hugged the good old man in my imposition, that I should go with him myself. arms, his benevolence pleased me so.
He Though this was one of the first mercantile continued to read, and we resumed our convertransactions of my life, yet I had no doubt sation, until my companion, after some time, about acquitting myself with reputation. The recollecting that he had business to transact in opinion a man forms of his own prudence is the fair, promised to be soon back; adding, measured by that of the company he keeps; that he always desired to have as much of Dr and as mine was mostly in the family way, i Primrose's company as possible. The old had conceived no unfavourable sentiments of gentleman hearing my name mentioned, seemed my worldly wisdom. My wife, however, next to look at me with attention for some time, morning, at parting, after I had got some paces and when my friend was gone, most respectfrom the door, called me back, to advise me, fully demanded if I was any way related to the in a whisper, to have all my eyes about me. great Primrose, that courageous monogamist,
I had, in the usual forms, when I came to who had been the bulwark of the church. the fair, put my borse through all his paces; Never did my heart feel sincerer rapture than but for some time had no bidders. At last a at that moment. 6 Sir,” cried I, " the applause chapman approached, and after he had for a of so good a man, as I am sure you are, adds good while examined the horse round, finding to that happiness in my breast which your behim blind of one eye, he would have nothing nevolence has already excited. You behold
say to him: a second came up, but obsery- before you, Sir, that Dr Primrose, the monoing he had a spavin, declared he would not gamist,whom you have been pleased to call great. take him for the driving home: a third per
You here see that unfortunate divine, who has ceived he had a windgall
, and would bid no so long, and it would ill become me to say, sucmoney: a fourth knew by his eye that he had cessfully, fought against the deuterogamy of the the botts : a fifth wondered what a plague I age.' .“ Sir,” cried the stranger, struck with could do at the fair with a blind, spavined, awe, “I fear I have been too familiar; but you'll galled back, that was only fit to be cut up for forgive my curiosity, Sir: I beg pardon. a dog-kennel. By this time I began to have “ Sir,” cried I, grasping his hand, "you are so
far from displeasing me by your familiarity, I in a very genteel livery. “ Here, Abraham." that I must beg you'll accept my friendship, as cried he, go and get gold for this ; you'll do it you already have my esteem.”—“ Then with at neighbour Jackson's, or any where." gratitude I accept the offer," cried he, squeez-While the fellow was gone, be entertained me ing me by the hand, “thou glorious pillar of with a pathetic harangue on the great scarcity unshaken orthodoxy ! and do I behold—” 1 of silver, which I undertook to improve, by here interrupted what he was going to say; deploring also the great scarcity of gold; so for though, as an author, I could digest no that by the time Abraham returned, we had small share of flattery, yet now my modesty both agreed that money was never so hard to would permit no more. However, no lovers be come at as now. Abraham returned to in romance ever cemented a more instantane- inform us, that he had been over the whole ous friendship. We talked upon several sub- fair, and could not get change, though he bad jects : at first I thought he seemed rather de- offered half a crown for duing it. This was vout than learned, and began to think he de- a very great disappointment to us all; but the spised all human doctrines as dross. Yet! old gentleman, having paused a little, asked this no way lessened him in my esteem ; for ( me if I knew one Solomon Flamborough in I had for some time begun privately to har- my part of the country. Upon replying that bour such an opinion of myself. I therefore he was my next-door neighbour; If that be took occasion to observe, that the world in the case then,” returned he, “I believe we general began to be blamably indifferent as to shall deal. You shall have a draft upon him, doctrinal matters, and followed human specu- payable at sight; and let me tell you, he is as lations too much.--" Ay, Sir,” replied he, as warm a man as any within five miles round if he had reserved all bis learning to that mo him. Honest Solomon and I have been acment, “ Ay, Sir, the world is in its dotage, and quainted for many years together. I remember yet the cosmogony or creation of the world I always beat him at three jumps; but be has puzzled pbilosophers of all ages. What could hop on one leg farther than I.” A a medley of opinions have they not broached draft upon my neighbour was to me the same upon the creation of the world! Sanchonia- as money; for I was sufficiently convinced of thon, Manetho, Berosus, and Ocellus Luca- his ability. The draft was signed, and put nus, have all attempted it in vain. The latter into my hands, and Mr Jenkinson, the old has these words, Anarchon ara kai atelutaion gentleman, his man Abraham, and my horse,
pan, which imply that all things have neither old Blackberry, trotted off very well pleased beginning nor end. Manetho also, who lived with each other. about the time of Nebuchadon- Asser,--Asser After a short interval, being left to reflecbeing a Syriac word usually applied as a sur- tion, I began to recollect that I had done name to the kings of that country, as Teglat wrong in taking a draft from a stranger, and Phael-Asser, Nabon-Asser,—he, I say, form- so prudently resolved upon following the pured a conjecture equally absurd; for as we chaser, and having back my horse. But this usually say, ek to biblion kubernetes, which was now too late : I therefore made directly implies that books will never teach the world bomewards, resolving to get the draft changed so he attempted to investigate-But, Sir, I into money at my friend's as fast as possible. ask pardon, I am straying from the question." I found my honest neighbour smoking bis pipe
That he actually was ; nor could I for my at his own door, and informing him that I had life see how the creation of the world had any a small bill upon him, he read it twice over, thing to do with the business I was talking of; “ You can read the name, I suppose,” cried but it was sufficient to show me that he was a I, “ Ephraim Jenkinson.”—“ Yes,” returned man of letters, and now I reverenced him the be, “the name is written plain enough, and I
I was resolved therefore to bring him know the gentleman too, the greatest rascal to the touchstone ; but he was too mild and under the canopy of heaven. This is the too gentle to contend for victory. Whenever very same rogue who sold us the spectacles. I made an observation that looked like a chal. Was he not a venerable looking man, with lenge to controversy, he would smile, shake grey hair, and no flaps to his pocket-holes ? his head, and say nothing ; by which, I un And did he not talk a long string of learning derstood he could say much, if he thought about Greek, and cosmogony, and the world? proper. The subject therefore insensibly To this I replied with a groan.
Ay,” cunchanged from the business of antiquity to that tinued he," he has but that one piece of which brought us both to the fair : 'mine, I learning in the world, and he always talks it told him, was to sell a horse, and very luckily away whenever he finds a scholar in comindeed, his was to buy one for one of his ten- pany; but I know the rogue, and will catch ants. My horse was soon produced, and in him yet.”. fine we struck a bargain. Nothing now re Though I was already sufficiently mortified, mained but to pay me, and he accordingly my greatest struggle was to come, in facing pulled out a thirty pound note, and bid me my wife and daughters. No truant was ever change it. Not being in a capacity of com more afraid of returning to school, there to plying with this demand, he ordered his foot- behold the master's visage, than I was of goLuan to be called up, who made his appearance ing home. I was determined, however, te alle