been taught and do believe to be in some manner the voice of God. The great ignominy of a whole kingdom lying so long at mercy under so vile an adversary is such a deplorable aggravation, that the utmost expressions of shame and rage are too low to set it forth; and therefore I shall leave it to receive such a resentment as is worthy of a parliament. It is likewise our universal wish that his majesty should grant liberty to coin halfpence in this kingdom for our own use, under such restriction as a parliament here shall advise; since the power of coining even gold and silver is possessed by every petty prince abroad, and was always practised by Scotland to the very time of the Union; yet surely Scotland, as to soil, climate, and extent, is not in itself the fourth part the value of Ireland, for bishop Burnet says, "it is not above the fortieth part in value to the rest of Britain ;" and with respect to the profit that England gains from hence, not the forty thousandth part. Although I must confess that a mote in the eye or a thorn in the side is more dangerous and painful than a beam or spike at a dis tance. The histories of England and of most other countries abound in relating the miserable, and sometimes the most tragical, effects from the abuses of coin by debasing the metal, by lessening or enhancing the value upon occasions to the public loss; of which we have an example within our own memory in England, and another very lately in France. It is the tenderest point of government, affecting every individual in the highest degree. When the value of money is arbitrary or unsettled, no man can well be said to have any property at all; nor is any wound so suddenly felt, so hardly cured, or that leaves such deep and lasting scars behind. I conceive this poor unhappy island to have a title to some indulgence from England, not only upon the score of christianity, natural equity, and the general rights of mankind, but chiefly on account of that immense profit they receive from us; without which that kingdom would make a very different figure in Europe from what it does at present. The rents of land in Ireland, since they have been of late so enormously raised and screwed up, may be computed to about two millions; whereof one-third part at least is directly transmitted to those who are perpetual absentees in England, as I find by a computation made with the assistance of several skilful gentlemen. The other articles, by which we are altogether losers, and England a gainer, we found to amount to almost as much more. I will only set down as many heads of them as I can remember, and leave them to the consideration of those who understand accounts better than I pretend to do :The occasional absentees for business, health, or diversion. Three-fourths of the revenue of the chief governor during his absence, which is usually four-fifths of his government. The whole revenue of the post-office: The numerous pensions paid to persons in England. The pay of the chief officers of the army absent in England, which is a great sum. Four commissioners of the revenue always absent. come. The vast charge of appeals to the house of lords and to the court of delegates. Students at the inns of court and the two universities. Eighty thousand pounds sent yearly to England for coals, whereof the prime cost is nothing, and therefore the profit wholly theirs. One hundred thousand pounds paid several years past for corn sent over hither from England, the effect of our own great wisdom in discouraging agriculture. The kind liberty granted us of wearing Indian stuff's and calicoes to gratify the vanity and folly of our women, which, besides the profit to England, is an inconceivable loss to us, forcing the weavers to beg in our streets, or transport themselves to foreign countries. The prodigious loss to us, and gain to England, by selling them all our wool at their own rates, whereof the manufacture exceeds above ten times the prime cost; a proceeding without example in the christian or heathen world. Our own wool returned upon us in English manufactures, to our infinite shame and damage, and the great advantage of England. The full profit of all mines accruing to England, an effect of great negligence and stupidity. An affectation among us of liking all kind of goods made in England. These, and many other articles which I cannot recollect at present, are agreed by judicious men to amount to near 700,000l. per annum clear profit to England; and, upon the whole, let any man look into those authors who write upon the subject of commerce, he shall find that there is not one single article in the essentials or circumstances of trade, whereby a country can be a loser, which we do not possess in the highest perfection; somewhat in every particular that bears a kind of analogy to William Wood; and now the branches are all cut off, he stands ready with his axe at the root. Upon this subject of perpetual absentees I have spent some time in very insignificant reflections; and, considering the usual motives of human actions, which are pleasure, profit, and ambition, I cannot yet comprehend how those persons find their account in any of the three. I speak not of those English peers or gentlemen who, besides their estates at home, have possessions here, for in that case the matter is desperate; but I mean those lords and wealthy knights or squires, whose birth, and partly their education, and all their fortune (except some trifle, and that in a very few instances), are in this kingdom. I knew many of them well enough during several years when I resided in England, and truly I could not discover that the figure they made was by any means a subject for envy, at least it gave me two very different passions. For, excepting the advantage of going now and then to an opera, or sometimes appearing behind a crowd at court, or adding to the ring of coaches at Hyde Park, or losing their money at the chocolate-house, or getting news, votes, and minutes about five days before us in Dublin; I say besides these, and a few other privileges of less importance, their temptations to live in London were beyond my knowledge or conception. And I used to wonder how a man of birth and spirit could endure to be wholly insignificant and obscure in a foreign country, when he might live with lustre in his own, and even at less than half that expense which he strains himself to make without obtaining any one end, except that which happened to the frog when he would needs contend for size with the ox. I have been told by scholars that Cæsar said he would rather be the first man in I know not what village than the second in Rome. This perhaps was a thought only fit for Cæsar: but to be preceded by thousands and neglected by millions; to be wholly without power, figure, influence, honour, credit, or distinction, is not, in my poor opinion, a very amiable situation of life to a person of title or wealth, who can so cheaply and easily shine in his native country. But besides the depopulating of the kingdom, leaving so many parts of it wild and uncultivated, the ruin of so many country-seats and plantations, the cutting down of all the woods to supply expenses in England, the absence of so many noble and wealthy persons has been the cause of another fatal consequence which few perhaps have been aware of. For if that very considerable number of lords who possess the amplest fortunes here had been content to live at home and attend the affairs of their own country in parliament, the weight, reputation, and dignity thereby added to that noble house would in all human probability have prevented certain proceedings which are now ever to be lamented, because they never can be remedied; and we might have then decided our own properties among ourselves without being forced to travel five hundred miles by sea and land to another kingdom for justice, to our infinite expense, vexation, and trouble; which is a mark of servitude without example from the practice of any age or nation in the world. I have sometimes wondered upon what motives the peerage of England were so desirous to determine our controversies, because I have been assured and partly know that the frequent appeals from hence have been very irksome to that illustrious body; and whoever has frequented the painted chamber and courts of requests must have observed that they are never so nobly filled as when an Irish appeal is under debate. The peers of Scotland, who are very numerous, were content to reside in their castles and houses in that bleak and barren climate; and although some of them made frequent journeys to London, yet I do not remember any of their greatest families till very lately to have made England their constant habitation before the Union; or if they did, I am sure it was generally to their own advantage, and whatever they got was employed to cultivate and increase their own estates; and by that means enrich themselves and their country. As to the great number of rich absentees under the degree of peers, what particular ill effects their absence may have upon this kingdom beside those already mentioned may perhaps be too tender a point for me to touch. But whether those who live in another kingdom upon great estates here, and have lost all regard to their own country, further than upon account of the revenues they receive from it; I say, whether such persons may not be prevailed on to recommend others to vacant seats who have no interest here except precarious employment, and consequently can have no views but to preserve what they have got, or to be higher advanced; this I am sure is a very melancholy question, if it be a question at all. But besides the prodigious profit which England receives by the transmittal thither of two-thirds of the revenues of this old kingdom, it has another mighty advantage by making our country a receptacle wherein to disburden themselves of their supernumerary pretenders to offices, persons of second-rate merit in their own country, who, like birds of passage, most of them thrive and fatten here, and fly off when their credit and employments are at an end. So that Ireland may justly say what Luther said of himself, POOR Ireland makes many rich! If amid all our difficulties I should venture to assert that we have one great advantage, provided we could improve it as we ought, I believe most of my readers would be long in conjecturing what possible advantage could ever fall to our share. However it is certain that all the regular seeds of party and faction among us are entirely rooted out; and if any new ones shall spring up they must be of equivocal generation, without any seed at all; and will be justly imputed to a degree of stupidity beyond even what we have been ever charged with upon the score of our birthplace and climate. The parties in this kingdom (including those of modern date) are, 1st, of these who have been charged or suspected to favour the pretender, and those who were zealous opposers of him. 2ndly, of those who were for and against a toleration of dissenters by law. 3rdly, of high and low church, or (to speak in the cant of the times) of Whig and Tory. And, 4thly, of court and country. If there be any more they are beyond my observation or politics; for as to subaltern or occasional parties, they have been all derivations from the same originals. Now it is manifest that all these incitements to faction, party, and division, are wholly removed from among us. For as to the pretender, his cause is both desperate and obsolete. There are very few now alive who were men in his father's time, and in that prince's interest; and in all others the obligation of conscience has no place. Even the papists in general, of any substance or estates, and their priests almost universally, are what we call Whigs in the sense which by that word is generally understood. They feel the smart and see the scars of their former wounds, and very well know that they must be made a sacrifice to the least attempts toward a change; although it cannot be doubted that they would be glad to have their superstition restored under any prince whatsoever. 2ndly, The dissenters are now tolerated by law, neither do we observe any murmurs at present from that quarter except those reasonable complaints they make of persecution, because they are excluded from civil employments, but their number being very small in either house of parliament, they are not yet in a situation to erect a party; because, however indifferent men may be with regard to religion, they are now grown wise enough to know that if such a latitude were allowed to dissenters the few small employments left us in cities and corporations would find other hands to lay hold on them. 3rdly, The dispute between high and low church is now at an end; two-thirds of the bishops having been promoted in this reign, and most of them from England, who have bestowed all preferments in their gift to those they could well confide in; the deaneries, all except three, and many principal churchlivings, are in the donation of the crown: so that we already possess such a body of clergy as will never engage in controversy upon that antiquated and exploded subject. Lastly, as to court and country parties, so famous and avowed under most reigns in English parliaments, this kingdom has not for several years past been a proper scene whereon to exercise such contentions, and is now less proper than ever; many great employments for life being in distant hands, and the reversions diligently watched and secured; the temporary ones of any inviting value are all bestowed elsewhere as fast as they drop; and the few remaining are of too low consideration to create contests about them, except among younger brothers or tradesmen like myself. therefore to institute a court and country party without materials would be a very new system in politics, and what I believe was never thought on before, nor unless in a nation of idiots can ever succeed, for the most ignorant Irish cottager will not sell his cow for a groat. And Therefore I conclude that all party and faction, with regard to public proceedings, are now extinguished in this kingdom; neither does it appear in view how they can possibly revive, unless some new causes be administered; which cannot be done without crossing the interests of those who are the greatest gainers by continuing the same measures. And general calamities, without hope of redress, are allowed to be the great uniters of mankind. However we may dislike the causes, yet this effect of begetting a universal concord among us in all national The obligation arising from their having sworn allegiance. debates, as well as in cities, corporations, and country neighbourhoods, may keep as at least alive, and in a condition to eat the little bread allowed us in peace and amity. I have heard of a quarrel in a tavern, where all were at daggers drawing, till one of the company cried out, desiring to know the subject of the quarrel; which when none of them could tell, they put up their swords, sat down, and passed the rest of the evening in quiet. The former part has been our case, I hope the latter will be so too; that we shall sit down amicably together, at least until we have something that may give us a title to fall out, since nature has instructed even a brood of goslings to stick together while the kite is hovering over their heads. It is certain that a firm union in any country, where every man wishes the same thing with relation to the public, may, in several points of the greatest importance, in some measure supply the defect of power, and even of those rights which are the natural and undoubted inheritance of mankind. If the universal wish of the nation upon any point were declared by the unanimous vote of the house of commons and a reasonable number of lords, I should think myself obliged in conscience to act in my sphere according to that vote; because in all free nations I take the proper definition of law to be the will of the majority of those who have the property in land; which, if there be a monarchy, is to be confirmed by the royal assent. And although such votes or declarations have not received such a confirmation for certain accidental reasons, yet I think they ought to be of much weight with the subject, provided they neither oppose the king's prerogative, endanger the peace of the nation, nor infringe any law already in force; none of which, however, can reasonably be supposed. Thus, for instance, if nine in ten of the house of commons, and a reasonable number of native temporal peers, should declare that whoever received or uttered brass coin, excepting under certain limitations and securities, should be deemed as enemies to the king and nation, I should think it a heinous sin in myself to act contrary to such a vote: and if the same power should declare the same censure against those who wore Indian stuffs and calicoes, or woollen manufactures imported from abroad, whereby this nation is reduced to the lowest ebb of misery, I should readily, heartily, and cheerfully pay obedience, and to my utmost power persuade others to do the like; because there is no law of this land obliging us either to receive such coin or to wear such foreign manufactures. Upon this last article I could humbly wish that the reverend the clergy would set us an example, by contenting themselves with wearing gowns and other habiliments of Irish drapery; which, as it would be some incitement to the laity, and set many hands to work, so they would find their advantage in the cheapness, which is a circumstance not to be neglected by too many among that venerable body. And in order to this, I could heartily desire that the most ingenious artists of the weaving trade could contrive some decent stuffs and silk for clergymen at reasonable rates. I have pressed several of our most substantial brethren, that the whole corporation of weavers in silk and woollen would publish some proposals (I wish they would do it to both houses of parliament) inviting persous of all degrees, and of both sexes, to wear the woollen and silk manufactures of our own country; entering into solemn mutual engagements that the buyer shall have good, substantial, merchantable ware for his money, and at a certain rate without the trouble of cheapening; so that if I sent a child for a piece of stuff of a particular colour and fineness, I should be sure not to be deceived; or, if I had reason to complain, the corporation should give me immediate satisfaction; and the name of the tradesman who did me the wrong should be published and warning given not to deal with him for the future, unless the matter plainly appeared to be a mistake: for, besides the trouble of going from shop to shop, an ignorant customer runs the hazard of being cheated in the price and goodness of what he buys, being forced to an unequal combat with a dexterous and dishonest man in his own calling. Thus our goods fall under a general disreputation; and the gentry call for English cloth, or silk, from an opinion they have (and often too justly by our own faults) that the goodness more than makes up for the difference of price. Besides it has been the sottish and ruinous practice of us tradesmen, upon any great demand of goods, either at home or from abroad, to raise the prices imdiately, and manufacture the said goods more slightly and fraudulently than before. Of this foul and foolish proceeding too many instances might be produced; and I cannot forbear mentioning one, whereby this poor kingdom has received such a fatal blow, in the only article of trade allowed us of any importance, that nothing but the success of Wood's project could outdo it. During the late plague in France, the Spaniards, who buy their linen cloths in that kingdom, not daring to venture thither for fear of infection, a very great demand was made here for that commodity, and exported to Spain: but, whether by the ignorance of the merchants, or dishonesty of the northern weavers, or the collusion of both, the ware was so bad and the price so excessive, that, except some small quantity which was sold below the prime cost, the greatest part was returned: and I have been told by very intelligent persons that, if we had been fair dealers, the whole current of the linen trade to Spain would have taken its course from hence. If any punishments were to be inflicted on numbers of men, surely there could none be thought too great for such a race of traitors and enemies to God and their country; who, for the prospect of a little present gain, do not only ruin themselves (for that alone would be an example to the rest and a blessing to the nation), but sell their souls to hell and their country to destruction. And if the plague could have been confined only to those who were partakers in the guilt, had it travelled hither from Marseilles, those wretches would have died with less title to pity than a highwayman going to the gallows. But it happens very unluckily that, for some time past, all endeavours or proposals from private persons to advance the public service, however honestly and innocently designed, have been called FLYING IN THE KING'S FACE; and this, to my knowledge, has been the style of some persons, whose ancestors I mean those among them who had any), and themselves, have been flying in princes' faces these fourscore years; and from their own inclinations would do so still, if their interest did not lead them rather to fly in the face of a kingdom which has given them wings to enable them for suc a flight. Thus about four years ago, when a discourse was published endeavouring to persuade our people to wear their own woollen manufactures, full of the most dutiful expressions to the king, and without the least party hint, it was termed "flying in the king's face;" the printer was prosecuted in the manner we all remember, and I hope it will somewhere be remembered further, the jury kept eleven hours, and sent back nine times, till they were under the necessity of leaving the prisoner to the mercy of the court, by a special verdict; the judge on the bench invoking God for his witness when he asserted "that the author's design was to bring in the pretender." And thus also my own poor endeavours to prevent the ruin of my country by the admission of Wood's coin were called by the same persons "flying in the king's face," which I directly deny; for I cannot allow that vile representation of the royal countenance in William Wood's adulterate copper to be his sacred majesty's face; or, if it were, my flying was not against the impression, but the baseness of the metal; because I well remembered that the image which Nebuchadnezzar commanded to be set up for all men to fall down and worship it, was not of COPPER, but pure GOLD. And I am heartily sorry we have so few royal images of that metal among us; the sight whereof, although it could hardly increase our veneration for his majesty, which is already so great, yet would very much enliven it with the mixture of comfort and satisfaction. Alexander the Great would suffer no statuary, except Phidias, to carve his image in stone or metal. How must he have treated such an operator as Wood, who goes about with sacksful of dross, odiously misrepresenting his prince's countenance; and would force them by thousands upon every one of us, at about six times the value! But notwithstanding all that has been objected by William Wood himself, together with his favourers, abettors, supporters, either public or private; by those who connive at this project, or discountenance his opposers, for fear of lessening their favour or hazarding their employments; by those who endeavour to damp the spirit of the people raised against this coin, or check the honest zeal of such as, by their writings or discourses, do all they can to keep it up; by those softeners, sweeteners, compounders, and expedient-mongers, who shake their heads so strongly that we can hear their pockets jingle; I did never imagine that, in detecting the practices of such enemies to the kingdom, I was flying in the king's face; or thought they were better representers of his majesty than that very coin for which they are secret or open advocates. If I were allowed to recite only those wishes of the nation which may be in our power to attain, I think they might be summed up in these few following. Ist. That an end might be put to our apprehensions of Wood's halfpence, and to any danger of the like destructive scheme for the future. 2dly. That halfpence might be coined in this kingdom by a public mint, with due limitations. 3dly. That the sense of both houses of parliament, at least of the house of commons, were declared, by some unanimous and hearty votes, against wearing any silk or woollen manufactures imported from abroad; as likewise against wearing Indian silks or calicoes, which are forbidden under the highest penalties in England: and it behoves us to take example from so wise a nation, because we are under a greater necessity to do so, since we are not allowed to export any woollen manufactures of our own, which is the principal branch of foreign trade in England. 4thly. That some effectual methods may be taken to civilize the poorer sort of our natives, in all those parts of this kingdom where the Irish abound, by introducing among them our language and customs; for want of which they live in the utmost ignorance, barbarity, and poverty, giving themselves wholly up to idleness, nastiness, and thievery, to the very great and just reproach of too many landlords. And if I had in me the least spirit of a projector, I would engage that this might be effected in a few years at a very inconsiderable charge. 5thly. That due encouragement should be given to agriculture; and a stop put to that pernicious practice of graziers engrossing vast quantities of land, sometimes at great distance, whereby the country is extremely depopulated. 6thly. That the defects in those acts for planting forest-trees might be fully supplied, since they have hitherto been wholly ineffectual, except about the demesnes of a few gertlemen; and even there, in general, very unskilfully made, and thriving accordingly. Neither has there yet been due care taken to preserve what is planted, or to enclose grounds; not one hedge in a hundred coming to maturity, for want of skill and industry. The neglect of copsing woods cut down hath likewise been of very ill consequence. And if men were restrained from that unlimited liberty of cutting down their own woods before the proper time, as they are in some other countries, it would be a mighty benefit to the kingdom. For I believe there is not another example in Europe of such a prodigious quantity of excellent timber cut down in so short a time, with so little advantage to the country, either in shipping or building. I may add that absurd practice of cutting turf without any regularity, whereby great quantities of restorable land are made utterly desperate, many thousands of cattle destroyed, the turf more difficult to come at and carry home, and less fit for burning; the air made unwholesome by stagnating pools and marshes; and the very sight of such places offensive to those who ride by. Neither should that odious custom be allowed of cutting scraws, (as they call them,) which is flaying off the green surface of the ground to cover their cabins, or make up their ditches; sometimes in shallow soils, where all is gravel within a few inches; and sometimes in low ground, within a thin greensward, and sloughy underneath; which last turns all into bog by this mismanagement. And I have heard from very skilful countrymen that by these two practices in turf and scraws the kingdom loses some hundreds of acres of profitable land every year, besides the irreparable loss of many skirts of bogs, which have a green coat of grass, and yet are mangled for turf; and besides the want of canals by regular cutting, which would not only be a great convenience for bringing their turf home at an easy rate, but likewise render even the larger bogs more dry and safe for summer pasture. These and some other speculations of the like kind I had intended to publish in a particular discourse against this session of parliament; because in some periods of my life I had opportunity and curiosity to observe from what causes those great errors in every branch of country management have arisen; of which I have now ventured to relate but few out of very many; whereof some, perhaps, would not be mentioned without giving offence, which I have endeavoured by all possible means to avoid. And for the same reason I chose to add here the little I thought proper to say on this subject. But as to the lands of those who are perpetual absentees, I do not see any probability of their being ever improved. In former times their tenants sat at easy rents; but for some years past they have been, generally speaking, more terribly racked by the dexterity of merciless agents from England than even those who bold under the severest landlords here. I was assured upon the place by a great number of credible people that a prodigious estate in the county of Cork being let upon leases for lives and great fines paid, the rent was so high that the tenants begged leave to surrender their leases, and were content to lose their fines. The cultivating and improvement of land is certainly a subject worthy of the highest inquiry in any country, but especially in ours, where we are so strangely limited in every branch of trade that can be of advantage to us, and utterly deprived of those which are of the greatest importance; whereof I defy the most learned man in Europe to produce me an example from any other kingdom in the world; for we are denied the benefit which God and nature intended to us, as manifestly appears by our happy situation for commerce, and the great number of our excellent ports. So that I think little is left us besides the cultivating of our own soil, encouraging agriculture, and making great plantations of trees, that we might not be under the necessity of sending for corn and bark from England, and timber from other countries. This would increase the number of our inhabitants, and help to consume our natural products as well as manufactures at home. And I shall never forget what I once ventured to say to a great man in England, "That few politicians, with all their schemes, are half so useful members of a commonwealth as an honest farmer; who, by skilfully draining, fencing, manuring, and planting, has increased the intrinsic value of a piece of land, and thereby done a perpetual service to his country;" which it is a great controversy whether any of the former ever did since the creation of the world, but no controversy at all that ninety-nine in a hundred have done abundance of mischief. WOOD REVIVED, OR A SHORT DEFENCE OF HIS PROCEEDINGS IN A SHORT DEFENCE OF WOOD'S CONDUCT. GENTLEMEN,-The chief reason why, in the late controversy between my brass and your silver, I was so long silent is this: When my patent was on foot, and all my barrels ready charged, waiting only for the word of command, if I should have offered anything in my own defence for such an unusual attack, you would justly have thought it a political stratagem, since my private interest was so principally concerned; but that fear (to my sorrow) being now blown over, my patent being on its last legs, as plain Will Wood, brazier, I offer this to your consideration. About five years ago my thoughts were as humble as any one of my vocation, till my wife, thinking my name something ominous, out of natural affection to her dear husband, would needs persuade me to get above the reach of her suspicion, often telling me she knew not what might happen, but what could she or young Sapharia my child do in case I should die a violent death. This, sirs, you must confess, was a very moving argument; so that by her continual persuasions, the frequent admonitions of three or four Irish runagate rogues, who were copartners, and my own natural aversion to standing timber and its appurtenances, I at last consented to put in a claim for my patent, thinking by that means to free myself from such an unfortunate destiny (which more than once threatened me and my companions). Now I think these reasons were very sufficient, and I am as certain that even the disinterested drapier himself would have accepted of a lordship, and been content to be honest on less terms than those that compelled me to be a coiner and made me a rogue. I had no sooner got his patent but my head ran upon politics. My Irish confidants represented your kingdom as a poor, pliable, soft people, in love with imposition; they said that when they were in the kingdom they were the only knaves in it and had all the stings to themselves; and that when they came away they left only poor simple honest men behind them.. Upon hearing of this, gentlemen, I took into my serious consideration the softness of your tempers and the shallowness of your judgments, and after a short debate between my authority and your stupidity, I concluded that the coin prescribed in my patent was too good for you. I thought if I gave you the worth of your money, or anything beyond the worst trash a brazier could prepare, I should in my conscience be But guilty of a great extravagance, since my honesty would be lost upon you; for I was assured there was not one among you knew the difference, or could tell when you were well used. I could not believe your mechanics were men of speculation, or that your drapiers pretended to law and letters, and so I coined on, and, to say the truth, mended by experience; for the last parcel I coined were of just the same value I thought your worships deserved, not worth a peck of potatoes. By this you may see how great was my opinion of you. But though your drapier be a very shrewd counsellor for others, I think he is not very wise for himself; for what could he expect by turning a public enemy to what I intended a private design, but to be made a saint, I hope, or a privy councillor ? No, for I am humbly of opinion he has not gold enough for either. Then what wonderful prospects, consistent with his great wisdom, could excite so unprofitable a passion? Why, certainly, either like the dog in the manger, because he expected no advantage he would suffer nobody to get any; or else, because I coined nothing but brass, he thought I could command neither silver nor gold; but if he had been so wise and goodnatured as to have directed the copy of his first letter to the people of Ireland, to Will Wood, founder in Bristol, &c., he should never have had occasion for a second, if gold could have salved up the matter. what has he got by it? Praise! The glorious, immortal, and ever famous drapier has, by dint of pen and ink, most manfully and courageously conquered and put to flight a poor insignificant wretch of a brazier, who, like the frog in the fable, would fain have been an ox, had not this noble protector so valiantly proved him a worm. And for this windy honour he has refused what would give him real honour:-refused money for honour! I don't believe there were ten of his worship's principles among the train of his fraternity. But if every one had been of his opinion I should have stayed at my furnace still. Gold was pretty prevalent, which the drapier and some others of those honourable principles had like to have found to their cost. I must confess I was very unfortunate in my distribution, for I have ruined myself and benefited nothing: my patent and I both, I am afraid, are now going, one to courts, and t'other to gaol. I wish your politician gentleman could now show a little more of his skill in persuading the gaoler, since, if I go, 'tis certainly he sends me. I am now, gentlemen, in a very poor melancholy condition. I think with a great deal of grief on my wife's suspicious words; I even doubt myself, nay, imagination has carried me so far (since that fatal news of my patent's being laid before the council) that I have often believed myself at the gallows, with the knot under my ear, ready to be turned off. I look upon my last actions and this wicked patent as the fulfilling of my wife's ominous prophecy, -for what can I otherwise expect if my late behaviour (as I am told it will) should be known? the very thoughts of it bring Tyburn full in my view. Heaven make my wife a liar, and me a false prophet! but how can a man forget it when he knows he deserves it? This wicked drapier has made the people of England themselves consider my honesty; could I purchase a little now, how happy should I be! It is a strange thing a man can't be a cheat but he must give offence to every one. When I was an honest man my next neighbour hardly knew it; nobody then took care to proclaim it; but now I am a rogue the whole world must witness it. My friends, I mean my Irish vagabonds, say I was a fool to believe them, for they told me at first they were knaves, and so I should find them, and really that I might have observed if they had not mentioned a word of it. I would say something in my vindication, but my conscience throws this in my |